Betrayal
by HimeMurasakiPrincess
Summary: What happens when Usagi hurts Misaki so badly that he has no choice but to turn away from him? This story's full of drama, love, heart ache, and betrayal. What will happen to Usagi and Misaki. Can Usagi fix what he's so badly broken or will he lose Misaki for good this time?
1. Chapter 1: The Beginning

**OK ****alrighty ****everyone! ****Let's ****give ****it ****up ****for ****my ****third ****fanfiction! ****woop ****woop! ****LOL. ****So ****anyway ****for ****this ****fanfiction ****uhhh...well...****I ****don't ****really ****have ****a ****basis ****right ****now ****actually. ****Like ****I ****did ****in ****my ****first ****story I ****am ****going ****to ****write ****as ****I ****go . ****But ****it's ****another ****Junjou ****Romantica ****one , ****not ****that ****I ****had ****to ****tell ****you ****that ****because ****that's ****the ****section ****the ****story ****is ****in. ****Aw ****crap...I ****really ****don't ****even ****know ****what ****the ****hell ****I ****am ****going ****to ****write ****about.****T_T**

**But ****you ****guys ****know ****me ****right ? ****I ****just ****go ****with ****the ****flow. ****I ****hope ****it ****works ****for ****me ****this ****time ****around. ****Let's ****see...what ****else ****is ****there? ****Oh ****yeah ****that ****reminds ****me! ****My ****last ****story ****was ****kind a****long...no ****it ****was ****long, ****over ****34,000****words . ****Yikes. ****And ****it ****was ****all ****crammed ****into ****one. ****I ****might ****add ****more ****than ****one ****chapter ****in ****this ****story ****or ****I ****could ****just ****make ****it ****shorter. ****You ****know ****to ****save ****readers' ****eyes ****the ****abuse ****of ****reading ****through ****such ****an ****extensive ****amount ****of ****text. **_**Maybe...**_

**OK ****commencing ****Junjou ****Romantica ****fanfiction ****in ****5...4...3...2...1...ACTION!**

Misaki woke up from his sleep, feeling hot and suffocated. It felt as if some kind of three hundred pound boulder had fallen on top of him and was crushing him beneath its weight. Even before he had woke up, Misaki was able to feel the tremendous weight that was upon him. At first he thought he was dreaming and attempted to maneuver his body to wake himself up. But it didn't work. Misaki could still feel the heavy object on top of him, signaling that it was not a dream. Slowly opening his eyes, the young man looked down at his chest from his position on his back and immediately saw a messy array of soft silver gray hair matted against his chest. Misaki felt his eyebrow twitch in annoyance. He could remember all of the times that he had told his Usagi, his older lover to NOT sneak into his bed without his permission. It was not that Misaki did not enjoy Usagi's body against his own when he was sleeping, it was just...well frankly the younger man just felt the tiniest bit of irritation whenever it happened. Misaki began to attempt to maneuver his way out from under Usagi's body, which was nearly IMPOSSIBLE. The older man's body was hard and broad over his own. And Misaki's slim and soft frame was just no match for it. After about fifteen minutes of wiggling and squirming, Misaki was able to wiggle free...his arm. His arm felt as though it had fallen asleep, tingling sensation and all. Usagi must have been here for over an hour. Misaki waited for the feeling and coordination to return to his arm and once it did the young man made good use of it...by popping the sleeping older man's head in a quick downward motion. Misaki could feel Usagi move over on top of his body.

"Ow...", Grumbled the older man. He unwrapped one of his arms that were secured around Misaki and brought it to his head. "What an unpleasant way to wake up. Are you always to violent in the morning?", he said in in groggy voice

"It's you own damn fault! How many times do I have to tell you not to sneak into my bed?! I thought I was gonna be die of suffocation!", Misaki shouted annoyed

Usagi slowly lifted his head, his large hand still tangled in the front if his hair. Misaki gulped at what he saw. The author looked as if he had been through hell and back again. He had large bags under his eyes, looking like some sort of disheveled demon. Misaki felt himself stiffen in nervousness at the sight of it.

_Oh __crap! __Why __the __hell __do __I __keep __forgetting __how __Usagi-san __is __in __the __morning. __And __I __yelled __at __him,__damn. __I __feel __as __though __my __life __is __quickly __coming __to __an __end_, Misaki thought in horror

"Ah, well", Misaki said laughing nervously. "Look at the time...it's already nine o'clock. I need to go get breakfast started and such...", Misaki said trying to slip out from underneath the larger man's body

The older man still had one arm around Misaki and was still holding him tightly. Usagi still refused to let go. Misaki was beginning to tire himself out by his efforts and soon gave up. The younger man then resorted to whining to his lover.

"Baka-Usagi! Let me up already!", Misaki yelled trying to push Usagi's long arms away from him. But Misaki knew it was no use. Once Usagi had a hold on him, it was near impossible to pry him off.

"Ah? Tsk tsk my little Misaki. Where do you think you're going?", he said with an evil grin on his face.

"Wh-what? I'm going to make breakfast! You need to eat too you know?, for energy! So _move_!", Misaki said trying to move again but to no avail.

"I'm hungry all right...I need a refill of Misaki_,_right now in fact", Usagi said, wrapping his arm around Misaki's waist and holding him even tighter. With his free hand Usagi leaned in close and pressed his lips to Misaki's, kissing him passionately.

"Wha?, Misaki said in surprise. "Cut it out! It's not even noon! No It's not even ten in the morning yet and you're already doing this?!", Misaki said pulling away and weakly objecting.

"Mornings are pretty good for me. Now _this_is a nice way to wake up", the older man said grinning. Misaki began slapping Usagi's back, signaling him to stop. But this proved to be of no use either. The younger man's hit's felt like butterflies on his back. Usagi chuckled

"That tickles", he said pulling away and smiling

Misaki felt very annoyed at this point. He felt his face go red in his annoyance

_Stupid __Usagi! __It's __way __too __damn __early __for __this!_

Just then, Misaki felt Usagi's warm tongue on his neck, causing him to flinch on instinct. Misaki could feel his face go red instantly, and this time not out of annoyance. Misaki actually felt irritation at himself for actually liking the older man's touch and looking forward to it. No matter how much he fought it, the young man knew that he would always give in to it, just as he probably would in the next few minutes. Despite this, Misaki continued to flail and squirm, in an attempt to get free.

"U-Usagi-san! Seriously! Get off already. Your crushing me for Christ's sake!", Misaki protested in annoyance. He was half lying a little

"Oh? Am I now? Misaki you know you're a bad liar", he said laughing again. "I never hear any complaints when we're in bed together", he said, leaning forward even more. "I can prove it to you right now if you really want it that bad...", the older man whispered huskily in Misaki's ear, causing him to shiver. Misaki could feel his body become hot and flushed.

_Dammit __Usagi! __How __did __he __even __know __I __was __thinking __that?!_

Usagi slid his head downwards to Misaki's neck, where he began planting a trail of kisses on it. The mere sensation of the older man's lip's on his sensitive neck was enough to drive him crazy. Misaki began to slightly tremble at the act and could not stop. Still kissing Misaki's neck, Usagi slowly slid his hand between the younger man's legs. Misaki automatically flinched at the contact. The author allowed his long, elegant fingers to trace their way around Misaki's inner thighs. Misaki was past the point of objecting. Usagi had made sure to cease any protests from Misaki's lips with his hot, wet kisses. After running his fingers on Misaki's thighs one last time, he reached between the boy's slim legs and cup his crotch

"Ah, Usagi-san!", Misaki gasped

The older man slowly began to slide his fingers into Misaki's cotton sleeping pants, where the tip of one of his fingers began to slowly enter the younger man's underwear.

"Misaki...", the older man whispered hotly.

"W-wait a minute!", Misaki objected

Usagi began to bring his face down to Misaki's, where he could kiss him and silence any other protests that may come from the younger man's lips. But as he was about to do so, Misaki's cell phone on his nightstand next to his bed had begun to ring.

"Uh...Usagi-san, I should get that", Misaki said laughing nervously.

"Let it go to voicemail", Usagi said in annoyance. The phone stopped ringing after the tenth time, so the older man brought his attention back to Misaki. Usagi's lips were now centimeters from Misaski's now as he continued to lower his head once again. Misaki shut his eyes tight, knowing that there was no way to escape his morning's fate this time. He did think that he would be lucky twice in a row. But this proved to be wrong. The phone began to ring again, this time not stopping. Usagi let out a grunt of irritation, clicking his teeth afterwards.

Misaki saw this as an opportunity to save himself from the older man's lust. Getting one arm free, Misaki fumbled for his cell phone and grabbed it before it could stop ringing. With clumsy fingers, the young man slid open his phone and brought it to his ears, still eying Usagi nervously.

"Moshi moshi?, Misaki said, still feeling suspicious.

"_Ah __Hello?__Takashi-kun?__Good __morning.__"_, said a mature and smooth sounding voice. Misaki was able to recognize it immediately and his eyes widened in surprise.

"I-Ij_uuin_-_sensei?__"__,__Misaki __asked, __confused._

_"__Ah...Yes. __I'm __sorry __to __be a bother and __call __you __so __early __on __your __day __off __but __I __was __wondering __if __you __could __come __in__to __work __today. __It __would __only __be __for __about __two __or __three __hours. __I __don't __want __to __take __up __too __much __of __your __time__", __Ijuuin __said __sincerely._

"Today...Well it's not like I'm doing anything today. B-but may I ask why you called me of all people?I mean it's an honor to work on any task with you but...a - aren't there more experienced workers for you to ask?",Misaki said.

_"__Ah, __well __that __is __true __that __there __are __some __who __are __more __experienced, __but __it __seems __that __they __have __all __made __other __plans __for __the __next __couple __of __days ,__and __my __own __editor __has __been __ill __and __will __be __out __for __the __next __two __weeks.__There __isn't __really __anyone __else __that __I __can __ask __to __do __this, __and __you __know __my __manga __so __well, __thus __I __thought __you __would __be __perfect __for __the __job.__"__, __t_he mangaka said.

"Oh, I see",Misaki said understandingly.

_"__Plus...I __enjoy __your __company __very __much__"__, _he added finally.

"Ah,well...if it's for your work, then I'll gladly do it",Misaki said,not really acknowledging the mangaka's last statement.

_"__Great...__I'll __come __pick __you __up __at __around __eleven.__"__, _Ijuuin said happily

"Ah...No!",Misaki said suddenly. "Um...what I mean is...I-I'll just come over to Murakawa myself so you can save yourself the trip.", Misaki said.

_"__Oh?__Are __you __sure?__", _Ijuuin asked

"No really, It's fine.I'll be there by eleven thirty.",Misaki said happily.

_"__Alright, __see __you __then__"_, Ijuuin said and hung up.

Misaki let his phone fall to the carpet and sighed happily. Suddenly he smiled and held the phone to his face and then placed it on his nightstand. He had to admit to himself that he was happy that Ijuuin had asked him to work with him. He did write Misaki's favorite manga.

_Oh __wow! __Wow! __This __is __going __to __be __so __cool! __I __haven't __worked __with __sensei __in __months! __And __it's __THE __KAN! __Does __it __get __any __better __than __this?__I __don't __think __so! __Oh __I __need __to __go __pick __out __something __to __wear! __And __I __can't __forget __my __tools __either. __I __need __to __send __a __thank __you __cake __to __Isaka-san! W__ithout __him __I __may __not __have __been __working at__Murakawa. __I __wonder __what __volume __he's __working __on __now?__Maybe __he'll __let __me __see __it...No. __No __way. __That's __waaaay t__oo __selfish __of __a __thought! __I'll __probably __just __be __filing __papers __or __something! __But __who __cares __anyway?! __It's __IJUUIN __KYOU!_

Misaki felt as though his head was really up in the clouds. He was enthusiastic at the chance of meeting his favorite manga artist over his work. Misaki's eyes were shut tightly, as he grinned from ear to ear, thinking of how he would get to spend a day with Ijuuin, possibly looking over his work for his own interest. But Misaki's thoughts were interrupted by the sudden chill in the air that he felt. It was some sort of looming darkness that stayed in the air for a very, very long younger man recognized it instantly. It had to be none other than Usagi.

_Crap,__Now __this __is __bad. __I __totally __forget __that __Usagi-san __was __still __on __top __of __me. __M-maybe __he __didn't __hear __anything._

Misaki slowly opened his eyes and saw a very irritated and brooding Usagi looming over him. Misaki could see the dark energy that was coming from the older man. Misaki slowly felt his face he was still smiling, the younger man could feel his face transform in nervousness, his eyelids twitching.(you know that weird face Misaki gets when he's smiling but still wide eyed and nervous!_)

"Misaki...who was that on the phone just now?",the older man inquired broodingly.

"Ah...well...",Misaki started nervously. "N-no one important...",he said laughing nervously.

Usagi reached his long arms over and picked up Misaki's phone off his nightstand. Flipping it open, Misaki heard Usagi press a series of buttons. Misaki knew that he was going through his recent calls was inevitable.

"Ijuuin-san", the older man said looking even more annoyed. "And what prey tell would he be calling you about so early in the morning?",Usagi asked looking irritated.

"Um...well...you about 's no big deal really.",Misaki said.

"And what did he ask you to do today? On your _day off_?,Usagi asked.

"Well,actually...I was asked to go in for a couple of hours and help him with his work.",Misaki answered

" No. Absolutely not",Usagi declared, looking annoyed.

"Huh?You can't say that! Baka-Usagi!",Misak isaid.

"You know how he feels about you and yet you still want to go?",Usagi asked, pressing the subject.

"Me and Ijuuin-sensei have a work relationship and nothing more! When he said all those things to you and me,he was only joking!", Misaki retorted in irritation.

"How dense can you be, Misaki?",Usagi asked. "He's obviously after you!", the older man said in a matter of fact tone.

"No he's not! It's for my job! This is work!",Misaki protested.

"I hardly think Ijuuin-san feels the same way",Usagi said.

"You're the only one who thinks like a pervert 24/7!", Misaki shouted annoyed.

"Hmmmm?.Really?",Usagi said.

"Yes! Now come on let me up!I have to make breakfast!", Misaki said wiggling once again.

"I told you that breakfast can wait",the older man said coolly.

"No it can't! And besides I have to get ready anyway!", said the younger man, still struggling. Misaki managed to get his other arm free and was now pushing his older lover back, so that he could lift himself up. But Usagi still had one arm wrapped securely around Misaki's slim waist.

"Misaki...stay home",the man cooed.

"I already told you I can't! I already told Ijuuin-sensei that I'd be there. So let me hurry and make us some food. The sooner I leave, the sooner I'll be home alright?" , Misaki said irritated. Misaki was startled when he felt Usagi's lips on his neck once again,kissing and sucking on it just as he had before.

"Misaki...",the older man said hotly as he brought his face down again. Misaki knew that Usagi was going to continue kissing him until he said he would stay home. Just as Usagi was about to kiss Misaki, his mouth already open to utilize his tongue,Misaki's cell phone began ringing again,this time gave the phone a death glare.

_Uh __oh. __It __looks __like __I __might __have __to __buy __another __phone __in __the __future. __Usagi-san __looks __like __he __wants __to __throw __it __out __of __the __window!_

Misaki began to fumble once again for his phone but Usagi beat him to it. The older man reached his long arm over to the nightstand and picked up Misaki's cellphone.

"Hey! Don't just touch my things!", Misaki cried out, clawing for his phone, while it continued to ring.

"Well, it'll definitely go to voicemail now won't it?",the older man said.

"No way!",Misaki cried. While Usagi was distracted, Misaki reached his slim arms through Usagi''s and caught the phone between his hands. Before the older man could take it away from him again, Misaki answered it.

"Yes?! This is Misaki speaking!", he said.

_"__Misaki-kuuuuun... Good__moooorning__"__,_ said a dreary voice on the other end of the line. Misaki recognized the voice on Usagi's editor. He could tell that she had not gotten any sleep the night before, maybe even in the last few weeks.

"A-Aikawa-san?uh...g-good morning.",Misakisaid.

"_Misaki-kuuun...will __you __put __Usami-sensei __on __the __line __pleeeease?__"_she asked sounding like a ghost.

"S-sure...", Misaki answered.

Misaki put the phone in Usagi's hand, but he did not grab onto it like he was supposed to. Instead he just loomed there looking bored at the phone. He was obviously not interested in talking to his editor. Misaki did the next best thing. Moving his finger upwards, Misaki pressed the button that put the phone on speaker and waited. After a few seconds of hearing shallow breath, there was a shout on the other end.

"_USAMI-SENSEI! __I __KNOW __THAT __YOU __PULLED __YOUR __PHONE __OUT __OF __THE __LINE __AGAIN. __JUST __WHAT __THE __HELL __ARE __YOU __DOING?! __WHERE __THE __HELL __IS __THAT __MANUSCRIPT __YOU __DAMN __AUTHOR?!__"_

The sudden outburst from the older woman cause Misaki to open his eyes in surprise. But he should have been used to it by now. Usagi was always giving Aikawa grief when it came to him meeting his deadlines.

"It's almost done, so stop bothering me", Usagi said nonchalantly.

"_WHAT __THE __HELL?! __IT __WAS __DUE __OVER __FIVE __WEEKS __AGO! __YOU __PIECE __OF __SHIT __AUTHOR! __GET __YOUR __ASS __UP __AND __FINISH __YOUR __DAMN __WORK!__"_, she screamed into the phone.

"I will when it needs to be done...", Usagi said again

"_YOU __DAMN __TWO __BIT __WRITER! __GET __IT __DONE __**TODAY**__!_, she yelled at the top of her lungs

"Yes, yes", Usagi said in a bored manner. "I'll start working on it...in another six to seven hours", he said

"_USAMI-SENSEEEEEI!__"_, she yelled into the phone

Usagi took the phone from Misaki and turned it off. His attention was now back on his younger lover. There was an evil smile on his face now. Usagi reached his hand downwards and slid it under Misaki's shirt, touching his stomach.

"Wha! Usagi-san! I told you to let me up!" Misaki yelled.

"I know what you said. You just need some persuasion to stay home today", Usagi said smirking.

The older man was about to kiss Misaki again when suddenly there was a loud slamming sound from downstairs, Both of the heard it. Then suddenly the bedroom door swung open violently, and in the doorway stood a fuming Aikawa. Even from far away, Misaki could see how horrible she looked. Her eyes were red and her hair was a frizzy mess. She was still in her overrsized night shirt, and wearing fuzzy cat slippers. Misaki always thought that Aikawa looked very pretty when she got up with no makeup on. But today she looked like the devil. There was murder in her eyes. Her eyes narrowed to the scene of Usagi over Misaki. She slowly walked over to the bed and gave the older man a chop to his head. The older man winced in pain at the impact on his head. He raised himself up, holding his head to glare at Aikawa.

"USAMI-SENSEI! GET YOUR ASS UP AND START WRITING! NOW!", she yelled at the top of her lungs.

Usagi clicked his tongue, clearly annoyed. "Oh shut up. How did you even get in here? I thought I changed the locks and the entrance code", he said

"IT'LL TAKE MORE THAN THAT TO SHAKE ME OFF YOU DAMN LAZY AUTHOR! AND ANOTHER THING, I KNOW THAT YOU CUT YOUR PHONE LINE SO I WOULDN'T CALL! YOU STILL HAVEN'T GIVEN ME AN ANSWER! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!, Aikawa screamed again red faced.

"Oh that...maybe it was the rats", Usagi said coolly.

"DON'T LIE! NOW GET UP AND START WORKING!, Aikawa said.

"I'll start working...as soon as me and Misaki are finished... talking", Usagi said grinning down at Misaki, who was still beneath him. "So how about giving me fifteen...no thirty more minutes alone with him", Usagi said facing Misaki. He gestured for Aikawa to leave the room. The older man leaned his face lower and was about to kiss the younger man, but felt hands on his shoulders.

"OH NO YOU DON'T! YOU'RE GOING TO GET YOUR DAMN MANUSCRIPT DONE! **NOW!**, Aikawa yelled, as she pulled the older ,man off of Misaki in one violent jerk. Usagi laid on the floor, looking annoyed and unimpressed. All the older man could do was click his teeth once again in his irritation. He had definitely lost this battle with his editor and apparently she was going to get her way. Misaki let out a long breath. He could finally breath again without his lover's weight on top of him. Misaki looked up and smiled embarrassedly at Aikawa.

"G-good morning Aikawa-san", he said smiling.

"Ah, Misaki-kun! Good morning", she beamed. She walked over to Misaki and gave him a warm hug, which Misaki returned, smiling. "It's always good to see you", she said smiling. As they were talking to one another, they both heard a husky sigh from an annoyed Usagi, who was still lying on the floor. Aikawa took two small steps, and with one steady movement, she kicked the older man in his hip.

"Alright then! Now let's start working on that manuscript!", she said enthusiastically.

All she got in response was another groan from Usagi on the floor. He seemed to be feeling lazy today.

"I'll get it done today, so will you just leave already?", Usagi said.

"Ha! I don't think so! No, no. You're not going to brush me off. Not this time. I'm going to stay here until you get it done!", she said.

Usagi clicked his tongue again.

"Aikawa-san", Misaki spoke up. "Would you like me to make breakfast for you too?, he asked smiling.

"Sure! Your cooking is always the best!", she said. Misaki turned to look at the clock on the wall. Aikawa noticed the way Misaki was looking at the time.

"Oh, but you don't have to if you're busy with something else.", she said.

"Oh, no I'm not really that busy", Misaki said laughing nervously.

"Really? You keep looking at the clock", Aikawa pointed out.

"Oh...well, I guess I do have somewhere to go...I guess. But don't worry I can still make breakfast", Misaki said as he put his slippers on and walked to the door. He could feel Usagi's eyes following him.

**OK Everyone! there's the first chapter! and yes I did decide to do chapters this time. After I was typing for a couple of days and the word count reached over 140, 000 I knew I had to. ****Um...and well it's currently over 190 pages on my computer, closer to 200 maybe. Like I said before, I was writing as i went. The funny thing is that I came up with a title before I even thought of what the story would be about! But I think it's a really good story! Let me tell you all that I got so into it when I was writing. One time I stayed up for 42 hours straight! Just like Usagi-san! ^0^ (my dad thought there was something wrong with me)  
**

**But anyway if you guys do decide to keep reading it for however long and many chapters it will be you won't be disappointed! it takes a lot of turns. I could not believe some of then things I wrote about myself! Also if you do like it, don't worry about waiting for more chapters to come out on account of I already have 200 pages typed and I just have to upload the chapters. OK so I hoped that for any of you who read this likes it and if not well...then it makes me a little sad o_0''  
**

**This is only the beginning stay tuned for chapter 2! the story gets juicier with every chapter! you won't believe what's in store next...  
**


	2. Chapter 2: Unsure

**OK Everyone! Chapter 2 of my story! I guess I'll give you guys a hint and tell you that this is when things between Misaki and Usagi first began to get bad. It may seem like an insignificant part now but this part leads to a lot of drama later on, and we all love drama don't we? But who knows. They might patch it right back up! or maybe they won't. Or maybe they will and they'll start fighting again. I'm not giving anything more away! LOL. I have to warn you guys that the story is kinda detailed and you may get bored with reading it but press on! I think it's worth it! ^_^ **

**And I told you it would be quick. I uploaded chapter 2 right after chapter 1 was uploaded. I hope you guys enjoy! **

Misaki went to the bathroom and took a quick shower, lathering and bathing himself in his strawberry body wash and shampoo. The hot water made him feel more relaxed and ready to go to work. When he was done, he quickly got dressed in a white hooded long sleeved shirt and khaki shorts. Fully dressed, Misaki made his way downstairs to make breakfast. Across from the kitchen, he could already see Aikawa and Usagi with his laptop sitting on the couch talking and going over papers. Aikawa must have dressed in the second bathroom, because she was now wearing her usual business attire. Being careful, not to make much noise, Misaki took out the pots and began cooking. After twenty minutes, Misaki had completed a breakfast of rice, miso soup, poached egg, pickled vegetables, salad, cooked fish, rolled eggs (Usagi's favorite) and nori. Misaki took out the dishes and bowls and placed arranged the food neatly in them. Everything looked perfect. Finally he poured two mugs of freshly made coffee and set them aside. Getting trays out, Misaki placed everything on them and carried them over to Usagi and Aikawa who seemed to be deep in their work. He placed them in front the two older people and made his way back to the kitchen to clean up. Aikawa was already taking a bite of her food. Once it went in her mouth, she squealed.

"Oh, Misaki-kun! This is so, so good! It's delicious!", she said

"Thank you, Aikawa-san. I'm glad you like it", Misaki said smiling

"Misaki-kun, if Usami-sensei ever gets on your nerves, come over to my place! You and your cooking are welcomed anytime!", she said smiling. Misaki laughed and continued to tidy up the kitchen. When he was done, he looked at the clock again. It said nine forty. Misaki still had a little over twenty minutes before he had to leave to catch the train. Misaki turned to make his way back upstairs to get his bag. Aikawa looked up as Misaki was leaving.

"Ah, Misaki-kun, you're not going to eat breakfast?, she asked

"Well, I'll probably eat breakfast out. Um...I have to go into work today. I just have to get my bag ready", Misaki answered.

"Do your best then!", Aikawa encouraged him.

"Thanks", Misaki said.

Just as he was about to make his way upstairs, Misaki heard Usagi call his name.

"Misaki...I'd like some more miso soup", he said, looking up.

"What? Oh OK", Misaki said as he walked over and picked up Usagi's empty soup bowl. Making his way back into the kitchen area, Misaki used a ladle to put more soup in the bowl. Luckily, it was still hot. He walked back over to the two and placed the bowl back on the older man's tray. Misaki was making his way back upstairs to his room, when he hear Usagi call him again.

"Misaki, can I have some more nori?", he asked.

"Alright", Misaki answered.

Taking the dish from the table, Misaki put more nori on it and brought it back to him. Misaki went back into the kitchen and cleaned the counter, Looking at the clock, he saw that it was ten minutes to ten O'Clock. Misaki had time, but he still had to get his bag packed before he left. And he didn't want to rush at the last minute and forget anything. Putting the dish cloth on the hook, Misaki turned to leave the kitchen. As he did so, Usagi called his name yet again.

"Misaki, I need more eggs", he said.

Walking over, Misaki picked up Usagi's dish and placed four pieces of rolled eggs on it. Misaki brought it back over to Usagi but did not leave right away.

"Usagi-san, is there anything else you need before I go?", Misaki asked

"No, I guess not", he answered.

Misaki turned to leave and was almost to the stairs when he heard Usagi call him name once again.

"Misaki...my coffee's cold", he said looking down.

Misaki let out an exasperated sigh and walked over to Usagi and Aikawa for the fourth time. When he was close to the table, Misaki leaned forward and placed his hand on the side on Usagi's mug.

"Usagi-san, your coffee is still hot", he said.

"Usami-sensei! Stop making excuses and do your work!", Aikawa said sternly.

_Could __it __be __that __he's __making __all __these __excuses __because __he __wants __me __to __stay? __Does __he __really __not __want __me __to __go __that __much?_

The older man was silent.

"Misaki-kun, It's alright. You go and do your work and I'll keep an eye on Usami-sensei for you", Aikawa reassured him.

Misaki felt guilty, but he knew that he had to go to work after being asked by one of the best selling manga authors. Casting one last worried glance at Usagi, whose head was still down, Misaki made his way upstairs to get his bag ready.

When Misaki got to his room, he found his bag and began placing various things in it. It he placed books, reference materials, pencils, pens, folders, erasers, a timer, note cards, post it notes, labels, and more. After he was done he picked it up to see how heavy it was. He was happy that it felt very lightweight in his hands. Making his way back downstairs, Misaki peeped into the living room area to see Usagi and Aikawa still working . Misaki had wanted to tell Usagi bye but decided against it because of how busy the two looked. Instead he quietly made his way out the door, closing it gently behind him.

**OK so yeah. Boring chapter right? I know you don't have to tell me. But I was just trying to be thorough like a real author, you know? Anyway Usagi is obviously sad and upset that Misaki is going to see Ijuuin even though they both know...well at least Usagi knows that he has romantic feelings for Misaki. So where will this lead? **

***ahem*. Hint. Hint. **

**Please keep on reading guys! Don't make me writing a week straight to get 200 pages done go to waste. See you all soon! **


	3. Chapter 3: Face to Face

**A/N: SO hey guys. Miss me? I bet not. It's only been five minutes. Any way so here is chapter 3, not that I need to say that because it's on the story and you can all count...OK...sorry to be awkward. But this is hard for me you know. This is the first time that I am dividing up my story int chapters. I hope it makes everything more dramatic or something. But I feel as though I should give you all an introduction to every chapter I post. I strongly believe that so that's what I'm going to do. Which I just did...(awkward silence and the sound of crickets chirping)**

**Anyway another chapter about nothing really I guess. It just talks about when Misaki first gets to Murakawa and meets Ijuuin. Speaking of which. I was spelling his name all wrong when I was writing my draft. I kept spelling it 'Ijuunin', with two n's. (I hope I fixed it all o_o) I felt so pissed when I realized that. LOL. Also the names of my chapters really suck I think. I read all this stories with nicely named chapters and mine are just so...ordinary. But oh well. Maybe they'll get better as the story gets hotter ;)**

**Enjoy readers!...or at least try to ^_^''**

* * *

When outside, the morning air felt breezy and cool against Misaki's skin. He was always happy to get some fresh air. It took him fifteen minutes to walk to the train station. Misaki was slightly worried. He left at the time he wanted to, but he did not take into account the time it would take to walk to the train station. Misaki hurried to the ticket machine and bought a ticket to the station closest to Murakawa Publishing. Hurrying to the platform, he waited impatiently for the train to arrive. Lucky for him, the train came in less than five minutes. Misaki boarded and sat in a window seat and took out a volume of The Kan and started reading. Twenty minutes later, Misaki arrived at his stop and got off. When he was out the station, Misaki power walked to get to his destination. The walk to the publishing company took nearly ten minutes. In front of the building, Misaki looked at his watch. It was three minutes to eleven. Misaki could not stop a smile form spreading his face. He had come _on__time, __early _even. He was glad that he wasn't late. Composing himself, Misaki walked into the building and took the elevator to the fourth floor, which was the manga department. He made his way to the door of Ijuuin's office area. Misaki took a deep breath and knocked on the door and waited. Ijuuin opened the door and smiled upon seeing Misaki.

"Takashi-kun, good to see you. Thank you for coming today", he said smoothly.

"Ah hello Ijuuin-sensei! I'm so sorry if I made you wait long!", Misaki said nervously. He was always like that in front of him. Misaki couldn't help it. To him it was like being in front of a celebrity.

"Don't worry about it. You're right on time. Punctuality is an excellent trait to possess.", Ijuuin said

"Th-thank you very much!", Misaki said.

"Your enthusiasm is refreshing", Ijuuin said chuckling. "So let's get to work shall we?", Ijuuin said as he opened the door further and gestured for Misaki to enter. Misaki stepped inside and Ijuuin closed the door behind them.

* * *

**A/N: OK guys so that was the third chapter. It was shorter than expected, and I'm sure that some of you are thankful for that. Yeah I know it's boring right? But like I said before I was trying to write like a real author and be thorough with everything in the text. So yeah. It is a little boring right now and other stuff. Bus don't worry. The story gets more interesting the next chapter when Misaki is with Ijuuin. And you may think that that is pretty plain too. But you gotta keep reading to get to the good stuff! Try to read everything in order. Trust me on this. It'll be worth it in the long run. Cause' everything good and amazing is worth waiting for :)**

**And if you guys have yet to notice I haven't requested that you all rate and comment (though i wouldn't complain if you did) This is because there is nothing really hot to comment about or anything. But you guys do like the uploaded chapters, then comment! :)**

**The next chapter, which I will probably upload in the next couple of minuets will be as long as the Chapter 1. It'll be better! I hope you guys are enjoying it thus far...at least a tiny smidgen at least. LOL. I'll see you all soon! ^_^  
**


	4. Chapter 4: Working Together

**I present you all with chapter 4. Another seemingly boring chapter, or maybe it actually is. That's for you all to decide. Here we have Misaki and Ijuuin alone in his office together, just working...or could there be more to it? Read and a little and see what happens! :)**

The office was larger than Misaki had expected. In it there was a high quality long length desk, two sitting tables with chairs, a coffee tables, lounge chairs, and a small couch. Misaki thought that Ijuuin must have slept in it countless nights, working late to get a volume of his manga finished. There were papers, overflowing and books scattered all across the floor and the floor and wall was dusty. But Misaki _had_seen worse. Usagi made anyone look like a neat freak.

"Sorry for the mess", Ijuuin said.

"Ah, no it's really not that bad", Misaki said. "I've seen worse", he said. Misaki had not meant to say the last part but felt no harm had come from it anyway.

"Takashi-kun, by worse do you by any chance mean Usami-sensei's room?", Ijuuin asked, smiling.

"Wh-wh-what? Wha-why are y-you asking that?", Misaki asked clearly flustered.

"Relax, Takashi-kun. I was only joking", Ijuuin said chuckling.

"Oh, I see", Misaki said laughing nervously. Misaki continued to laugh and did not notice Ijuuin step up behind him, leaning in close to his ear.

"I wouldn't mind letting you see my room though", he whispered in Misaki's ear.

Misaki felt his body shiver at the sudden closeness of the other man.

"E-excuse me?", Misaki asked confused. He thought he had not heard right.

"Nothing", Ijuuin said. "I'll show you where to start"

Ijuuin led to Misaki to a table covered in scattered papers.

"Do you think that you can organize all of these papers according to subject and reference grouping", he asked. "I'm really unorganized this week."

"Yes, I can", Misaki answered. Misaki sat down in the chair and began his work. Sorting through all the papers seemed to be a small task. He had gotten so used to always cleaning up after Usagi that work like this seemed to be a piece of cake. The large amount a scattered papers quickly turned into neat piles on sorted papers, neatly stacked. Once finished, Misaki then organized the individual piles of papers based on the dates they were printed. He placed the piles in their own binders and labeled the binders based on the subject. Misaki had finished his first task. Walking over to Ijuuin, Misaki spoke.

"Um...Ijuuin-sensei, I finished organizing the papers", he said.

Ijuuin looked up slightly surprised. "Really now. That was very fast. I can see that I have made a good choice asking you to come here.", he said smiling.

"Th-thank you for the compliment!", Misaki said.

"Hmmmm. Now what else can I have you do?", he said out loud.

Misaki looked around the room and noticed all of the papers and books lying on the floor once again.

"If you want I can categorize the papers you have on the floor and alphabetize the books and then organize all of your reference materials.", Misaki suggested.

"That is a big job. Are you sure you don't mind doing it?", Ijuuin said.

"No it's fine! I'd be happy to do anything that would help you work better!", Misaki said enthusiastically.

Ijuunin smiled. "Alright then. Feel free to do what you think best", he said.

"Yes!", Misaki said. He went back to work organizing all of the scattered materials and books. Misaki made sure to categorize all the reference material so that it would be easier for Ijuuin to find any if he needed to. Again the task did not seem difficult to Misaki. Years of practice made it easy for him to do. In no time all of the papers had disappeared from off of the floor and were now neatly packed, organized, and labeled in color coordinated folders. Misaki was about to ask what else should be done but could see that Ijuuin was working hard and deep in thought. Instead, Misaki decided that he would look for more work to do and complete to the best of his ability. Misaki finished a lot. He alphabetized and categorize all of the books in the office, which Misaki counted to be exactly 795, labeled folders and binders, organized the folder and binders, packed the supplies cabinet, organized the closet, packed away things in boxes, dusted the cabinets and tables, organized all the cabinets, and more. The last thing he did was clean the inside on Ijuuin's fridge before sitting back down on the chair to wait for more instruction. Looking around, Misaki had thought he did a good job. Everything was clean and put away. Ijuuin had gotten up from his seat and had begun stretching. When he turned around, he eyes opened in surprise. He looked around curious.

"Takashi-kun, you did all this?", He asked.

"Ah, yes, I hope it's OK. Oh B-but If there's something you don't like I'll fix it right away!, Misaki said, worried.

"No, it's perfect.", Ijuuin said smiling.

"None of my old assistants ever did this good of a job before." Ijuuin began looking in cabinets and drawers to see how they were organized.

"You organized _all_of my books?", he asked.

"Y-yes", Misaki said.

"All my papers, binders, and folders are organized too", he said.

Looking in the closet and cabinets, he smiled.

"You categorized my reference material, organized my cabinets, and cleaned out my closet. You even cleaned out my fridge and dusted my furniture. That's very impressive. Oh my, are these color coordinated folders by recent reference materials? That's amazing", he said turning to face Misaki.

"Thank you. You did a very good job", he said smiling.

"I-it was my pleasure!", Misaki exclaimed.

"D-did you finish what you were doing?", Misaki asked.

"Ah, yes, I believe I have. I actually finished my story board on time, before the deadline even. The reference material you suggested for me was perfect. You're honestly one of the best assistants I've ever had.", he said sincerely.

"Thank you!", Misaki said.

"Well, then I guess we're done for the day", Ijuuin said packing his bag

Glancing at the clock, Misaki saw that it was only three O'Clock. They had finished early. Misaki went over to the table and started to get his own bag together as well. Ijuuin walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder, surprising Misaki.

"It's still early, Takashi-kun. How about we go get something to eat? My treat.", he said.

"Oh no! Th-That's alright! I mean you're really busy aren't you? And you must be tired from working so hard!", Misaki said.

"If it weren't for you, I'd still be working. Plus I really want to sit and chat. Please. As a thank you for your hard work", Ijuuin said.

"A-are you sure you want to pay for me too?", Misaki asked.

"Yes. You're worth it after all", Ijuuin said. .

"O-OK then", Misaki said smiling sheepishly

"Then let's go", Ijuuin said opening the door for Misaki and letting them both out. The door closed behind then and in a matter of minutes they were in Ijuuin's car driving down the street.

* * *

**OK so yeah. that was chapter 4. It was still a little plain but it's developing the plot nicely. I bet some of you already have some sort of idea where this story is going now huh? It'll be fun to see if any if you are right or not. LOL. In one day I've uploaded four chapters, including this one. I'll upload some more tomorrow. What do you guys think will happen next? Are your predictions right or are they wrong? Come back tomorrow and find out! And if you're reading this the day after these chapters have been published, then find out today! LOL. See you guys later! ^_^  
**


	5. Chapter 5: Getting to Know You

**OK Hey there again everyone! I told you I'd be uploading these chapters really fast. LOL. But anyway in this chapter, things start to get really good. Ijuuin and Misaki become really close and that may lead to some other things. And I don't know why, but for some reason I felt really good when I was writing this part. I really think that Misaki and Ijuuin will be really good friends here. But what could this lead to in the long run? I present you with chapter 5! Pleas enjoy it to the best of your abilities! ^_^**

* * *

During the drive Misaki and Ijuuin made small talk about anything they could think of. They talked about work, The Kan, hobbies, and more. It turned out that they had a lot in common. Like Misaki Ijuuin had also become interested in manga and anime at same age Misaki had. He also likes to try new recipes and cook, though he admitted that he was not very good at it. Misaki started to feel less nervous as they drove and was beginning to learn to talk to Ijuuin like a normal person. The drive was pleasant and Misaki was actually enjoying himself. Ijuuin pulled up to the curb of a street and parked the car. He got out and opened the door for Misaki and helped him out of his door. Looking around Misaki saw a four story tall restaurant landscaped with flowers and blossomed flower trees of all kinds. Misaki's eyes went wide at the extravagance. This was _definitely _expensive.

"Takashi-kun, this way", Ijuuin said.

Misaki had no choice but to follow the older man, who led him to the front of the building to the entrance. They came up to a host standing behind a desk. She smiled when she saw the two.

"Hello, how can I help you she asked?", blushing when she saw Ijuuin.

Misaki knew that she was looking as Ijuuin with the eyes of girl with a huge crush. And it was understandable too. Ijuuin _was_ very handsome after all. People could not help but feel like that when they saw him.

"Table for two please", Ijuuin said.

"Would you like to eat inside or outside?", she inquired.

"Takashi-kun, how about it? Would you like to eat inside or outside?", Ijuuin turned and asked.

"Um...can we eat outside actually? It's a really nice day and the weather is perfect.", Misaki answered, wanting to take advantage of the pleasantly cool weather in May.

"OK then", Ijuuin said. Turning his attention back to the woman he answered. "We'd like an outside table for two please", he said.

"Right this way then", she said leading them outside. She led them to a secluded table outside and gave them both menus.

"A waiter will be with you shortly", she said smiling and then walked away.

Misaki opened up his menu and his mouth gaped open. The cheapest item on the menu cost 13710 yen Misaki could feel his eye popping out of his sockets. Misaki shakily closed his menu and looked up at his companion.

"Uh...I-Ijuuin sensei, I-I think we're in the wrong restaurant", Misaki said, breathing hard.

"Hmmm. No, we're in the right one. This is my favorite place to eat.", Ijuuin said looking at Misaki.

"It's just...I thought you said we'd be having a cheap meal. And...well the cheapest item on this menu is more than I make in a week at my job.", Misaki said flustered.

"Really? Let me see...", Ijuuin said as he looked at the menu again.

"Hmmm... 13710 yen. That's the special actually. It's cheaper than usual", Ijuuin answered.

Misaki nearly fainted.

"Takashi-kun, are you alright?", Ijuuin asked.

"A-ah, yes. I'm fine", Misaki answered. He had to take a few breaths to calm himself down.

A waitress wearing a black and white uniform appeared with a pen and pad in her hand.

"Hello, may I take your order?", she asked and then blushed when she saw Ijuunin smiling.

Misaki perked up at the question. He had been so caught up and focused on the expensive prices, that he did not think about what he wanted to eat. Misaki buried his face in his menu and looked examined it. He did not want to order anything expensive which was hard because everything was, but he couldn't pick the cheapest dish because the Ijuuin would know why. The menu had food from all over the world and Misaki was completely lost. Looking at the menu made him feel dizzy.

"W-well...um...let's see...uh...", Misaki obviously didn't know what to order. Ijuuin noticed Misaki's reactions and gently took the menu from him and placed it on the table.

"Waitress, my friend over here will have the Pan-Seared Shrimp with Saffron-Tomato Sauce with the butter sauce pasta and a side of Seared Scallops with Lemon and Garlic Pan Sauce", Ijuuin said.

"A-and you sir?", she asked.

"I'll have the Santa Maria Style Tri Tip steak with the two sides of the leak, herb, and asparagus soup and baked stuffed baked potatoes and also the shrimp enchiladas with green chili sauce.", he answered.

"W-would you like anything to drink?", she asked surprised.

"I'll have a Jamba Juice Banana berry smoothie", Ijuuin said. He brought his attention back to Misaki, who was still shocked. "Takashi-kun, what would you like to drink?", he asked.

"Um...I...", Misaki still found it hard to let any words out.

"Takashi-kun, might I suggest that you try the watermelon crush? I think it is very good", he said smiling.

"O-OK", Misaki answered.

The waitress wrote it down and put her pad away.

"Your food will be ready in a moment", she said and then turned and left.

Misaki let out a nervous breath and then looked up at Ijuuin.

"I-I'm sorry if I embarrassed you Ijuuin-sensei", Misaki said.

"Don't worry. You haven't. It's only a restaurant. It's not a crime to not be ready to order when the waiter comes", Ijuuin said smiling.

Misaki smiled a little. Ijuuin was so understanding. While waiting the two made more small talk to pass the time, which it did. Time seemed to fly by like seconds. After ten minutes of waiting their food came, the waitress used a rolling cart to bring it. She placed all of their dishes in front of them and bowed and then left once again. Misaki's eyes bulged at the sight of the food. Everything looked so..._good_. Even Misaki could not help but look at the food hungrily, despite the high pricing of it. With his food in front of him, it looked so good that he did not even want to eat it. He picked up his fork and got a forkful of food. He lifted it and slowly put it in his mouth.

"Oh, wow! This is really good!", Misaki said taking another bite.

"Really? I've never tried that dish before, but it caught my eye on the menu", Ijuuin said eating his own food.

"You have to try it!", Misaki beamed enthusiastically. He got another forkful and held it out to Ijuuin. If the food had not been so good Misaki probably not have done that, but the food made him so happy that he wanted to share it.

"Here", Misaki said happily.

The gesture seemed to have surprised Ijuuin but a smile spread across his face once again looking at Misaki. He opened his mouth slightly and Misaki slowly placed the fork in his mouth so Ijuuin could eat the food, pulling the fork back Misaki smiled brightly again.

"It's really delicious isn't it? I can't believe you come here all the time but never ate it", Misaki exclaimed.

"Yes, it really is delicious", Ijuuin said smiling.

Taking a few pieces from his own dish, he gestured to Misaki.

"Takashi-kun, would you like to try mine?", he asked.

"OK", Misaki answered.

Ijuuin put his fork full of food into Misaki's mouth and pulled it back for Misaki to chew.

"That's really good too!", Misaki said.

"I'm glad you like it", Ijuuin said smiling.

"But it looks like you got some on the side of lips", Ijuuin said as he rubbed a finger over Misaki's lips and brought it to his tongue and licked it.

"Delicious", Ijuuin said smiling.

Misaki found himself blushing deeply. But then he smile and started laughing happily.

"You're laughing, Takashi-kun. I've never seen that before", Ijuuin said smiling.

"No...I-I'm sorry", Misaki said in between his laughter "It's just that...you-you sound like Usagi-san!", he said laughing.

"Usami-sensei? Really?, Ijuuin asked.

"It's just this lavish restaurant and the way you licked food off of my face...it's all things he would! I-I would never have thought there would be someone who was even held a fraction on similarity to him!", Misaki said, still laughing. He was nearly crying now because he was laughing so hard. Ijuuin had also started laughing as well, which surprised Misaki, but also made him happy.

"Ijuuin-sensei, it's really fun to talk to you", Misaki said wiping away tears of laughter.

"I also enjoy talking to you, Takashi-kun.", Ijuuin said smiling.

"Takashi-kun, I really feel as if we're good friends now, so there's no need for the formalities", he said. "Please call me by my first name", Ijuuin said looking at Misaki.

"Y-you mean Kyou?", Misaki asked.

"Yes", Ijuuin answered.

Misaki found himself blushing. He hid his face in his hands.

"I'm sorry. But it's kind of embarrassing!", Misaki said smiling still. But he tried again.

"Kyou", Misaki said. This time he did it. Misaki smiled at his small victory.

"Oh, then, you can call me by my first name too!", Misaki said smiling.

"Are you sure it's OK?", Ijuuin asked.

"Yeah", Misaki said smiling,

"Alright then...Misaki", Ijuuin said smiling.

Glancing at his watch, Misaki saw that it was six O'clock. Ijuuin noticed Misaki looking at the time.

"Should I drive you home?", Ijuuin asked.

"Oh, no it's alright. I'll just take the train home", Misaki answered.

"So you are leaving?", Ijuuin inquired.

"No, I'll stay longer. I mean Usagi-san's working on his manuscript anyway and I don't want to distract him.

"Well then, it's my gain, Ijuuin said, taking a sip of his beverage.

The two spent their time talking and trying each other's food. Misaki really thought the shrimp enchilada tasted the best. They had finished all of their food and now only the drinks were left. Ijuuin let Misaki take a sip of his drink and Misaki let Ijuuin taste his. The watermelon crush beverage was perfect. Just the right amount of sweetness.

"I wonder what this little bottle that came with my drink is", Misaki said picking up the unlabeled container. "Oh I get it, this is lime juice right?", Misaki said as he poured it into his glass and swung his head back to drink it.

"Ah, Misaki that's...", Ijuuin started, but it was too late. Misaki was already drinking it.

"Hmmmm, I don't taste anything tart or sour", Misaki said.

"Misaki that was the alcohol, silver tequila to be precise", he said.

Misaki's eyes went wide and he nearly chocked.

"Wha?", Misaki asked.

"At this restaurant, when you have cold drinks, you are given alcohol to go with it, so that either you can have a virgin, non alcoholic drink or a drink that does have alcohol in it. And you just put the alcohol in it", Ijuuin said smiling.

"Eh? Huh? What? That was alcohol? I didn't even taste it!", Misaki said.

"Sorry, I guess I should have told you earlier", Ijuuin said.

"No, it's OK. I am old enough now. And...it still tastes really good", Misaki said smiling and taking another sip.

"Even though you still look like a high school student", Ijuuin added. Misaki stuck his tongue out at the mangaka.

"I'm glad you're not upset", Ijuuin said.

Misaki smiled, laughing slightly.

"At least I'm not intoxicated yet. I really can't hold my alcohol at all. One time when I was out with my friends at karaoke, I got drunk after only one beer!", Misaki exclaimed. He looked at Ijuuin, who was still smiling at him. "Oh no! I didn't mean to tell you that! Now you think I'm a lightweight!", Misaki said blushing, Misaki looked suspiciously at the glass. "How much alcohol was in here again?", he asked.

Ijuuin began chuckling again.

"Misaki it surprises me that you're not only adorable, but you're also funny too. You're basically the whole package.

"Are you making fun of me?", Misaki asked.

"No. Not at all", Ijuuin said strait faced.

Misaki could not help but laugh himself. Ijuuin's facial expression was something that he had not expected to see.

"That's a new face for you Kyou!", Misaki said laughing.

"Thank you. I'm glad that you feel comfortable around me enough to laugh honestly", Ijuuin said chuckling again.

Misaki stopped laughing and smiled at Ijuuin across the table.

"Kyou, I'm really happy that me and you can be friends. I really look up to you. You're like my...role model I guess. I mean you wrote and drew _The__Kan._ So the fact that I can be friends with the person who wrote something that practically made up my whole life makes me really happy!", Misaki said smiling brightly.

Misaki had not noticed that Ijuuin had slowly risen up from his chair. He planted a soft kiss on Misaki's cheek and then another one on the side of his lips, almost a full kiss. The gesture surprised Misaki.

"K-Kyou?", Misaki asked surprised.

"I really like you Misaki...", Ijuuin said.

"I like you too Kyou!", Misaki said smiling.

"I love you, Misaki", Ijuuin said with a smooth smile on his face.

"W-wha? W-why? Kyou, I-I", Misaki stopped himself and narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "You're lying aren't you?", Misaki said smiling triumphantly.

Ijuuin started laughing at Misaki's statement.

"I knew it! How mean! You're always joking Kyou!", Misaki exclaimed, but he had also started laughing again. Both of them were now laughing happily once again. They were both laughing and joking so much that they did not notice a tall figure make its way over to their table. Misaki was still laughing and did not notice the man that was now standing beside the table. Still giggling slightly, Misaki noticed the shadow and looked up. Standing beside the table was none other than Usagi. The older man's face was appeared to be more than irritated. His face was serious and eyebrows were slightly furrowed in his anger. He was furious. Misaki's face lost all of its color in his surprise.

"U-Usagi-san! Wha-what are you doing here?", Misaki asked, still surprised at his lover's sudden appearance.

Usagi was silent. He looked angry. Misaki had now begun to feel slightly uneasy. He had never seen Usagi look so...mad.

"Um...so did you finish your work?", Misaki asked, trying to make conversation with the man. Usagi still did not say anything.

"Good evening, Usami-sensei. I'm a little surprised to see you here", Ijuuin interjected. "I apologize for keeping Misaki out past the hour. He did such a good job that I wanted to take him out to eat as a thank you. I hope you don't mind", Ijuuin said. "This by the way reminds me. You sure can eat a lot, Misaki", he said turning to Misaki and chuckling.

"Kyou!", Misaki whined childishly. "I-I only ate so much because the food was expensive and I didn't want to waste it!", Misaki said flustered.

"Right, right", Ijuuin said smiling.

Ijuuin turned his attention back to the author.

"Would you like to sit down Usami-sensei? We can order some more drinks and chat", he said smiling.

"Misaki...we're going home", Usagi said darkly.

"Huh? But...me an Kyou were tal-", Misaki started.

"Now!", Usagi said, grabbing Misaki's arm and pulling him close to him.

"Well, I suppose it is rather late", Ijuuin said.

Misaki looked at his watch and saw that it was already past eight.

_Wow __it __really __is__l ate. __I __guess __I __was __having __so __much __fun __with __Kyou __that __I __forgot __all __about __time_, Misaki thought.

Still holding Misaki's arm firmly, Usagi reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. Reaching in it, he pulled out 90000 yen and placed it in the middle of the table.

"Here, this should cover all of Misaki's expenses", Usagi said.

"There really isn't any need for that, it was my pleasure treating Misaki to dinner", Ijuuin said looking at Misaki and smiling.

"Misaki, come", Usagi said as he pulled them both to his red sports car that was parked in the street. Misaki knew it was no use to fight the man's strong arms. Looking over his shoulder, Misaki called out to Ijuuin.

"Kyou , thank you for dinner! I'll see you later!", Misaki said happily.

When Misaki and Usagi got to the car, Usagi opened the passenger door and practically threw Misaki inside. Misaki rubbed his head at the impact of the head rest making contact with it. He barely had enough time to fasten his seatbelt before Usagi pulled off the curb and began driving down the street. Misaki looked up angrily at the older man in the car.

"What's your problem?", Misaki asked annoyed.

Usagi did not say anything, but kept his hands gripped firmly on the wheel. Misaki felt the car pick up speed. The sudden change in it pushed him further back into his seat. The older man continued to drive faster, slowly picking up speed.

"Usagi-san, slow down dammit!", Misaki said wide eyed.

Usagi continued to drive at the fast speed, passing car after car. The car swerved, nearly colliding with another, Misaki heard a car honk behind them in the distance.

"Usagi-san!", Misaki said. He felt scared now. He could feel his heart begin to race. Memories of his parents' horrible death in a car crash came flooding back into his head like a movie. Misaki could feel his body beginning to tremble and shake of its own instinct.

"U-Usagi-san...please...", Misaki said desperately. He pulled his knees to his chest and buried his face in them, and began to rock back and forth. Misaki then felt the car suddenly take a sharp left turn. They gradually slowed down until the car stopped completely. Misaki heard the car door slam and close in the driver's seat followed by footsteps. He slowly lifted his head up and saw that they were at the park on secluded grassland. Misaki used his shirt sleeve to wipe his teary eyes and peeked out his side of the window. The older man was smoking ten feet away from where the car was now parked. Now that he had stopped crying, Misaki felt rage and anger boil inside of him. He got out of the car and stormed angrily to where Usagi was standing.

"What the hell was that about?! You nearly ran us off the road, dumbass!", Misaki yelled. "If you're mad about something, then just spit it out! If I knew you were going to drive that way, I would've taken the train home or let Kyou drive me!", Misaki said.

Usagi dropped his cigarette and stepped on it.

"Well, you must really like him don't you?", Usagi said angrily.

"What are you talking about?", Misaki asked annoyed.

"I finish my work and come to pick you up and take you out to dinner, but I find you there with him, on...on a _date_.", Usagi said, irritation coating his face.

"It's wasn't like that at all! Me and Kyou finished working so he offered to take me out to eat! I couldn't just say no! He was only being polite!", Misaki yelled.

"Tell me Misaki, do people who are just friends go eat at five star restaurants in a romantic setting like the one you were at?", the older man inquired.

"There was _nothing_ romantic about it!", Misaki said.

"Why were you drinking alcohol?", Usagi suddenly asked. "He was probably trying to get you tipsy to take you home.", Usagi said.

"W-well, that was actually kind of my mistake", Misaki said. "I poured the alcohol in my drink but I didn't know what it was. Kyou told me what it was though, so it's no big deal!", Misaki said. "Anyway, it was basically a drink between two friends. You go out to drink with your friends all the time!", Misaki childishly pointed out.

"You shouldn't be so naive around people, Misaki", Usagi said.

"Don't underestimate me! Usagi-san you're being an idiot! Let's just go home already! Jeez I can't believe we're even having this conversation.", Misaki said rolling his eyes.

Misaki began making his way back to the car, but Usagi did not follow. Instead he stood there glaring back daggers at Misaki. The younger man turned to look at him, annoyed.

"If you're not going to drive me, then just say so. I'll take the train home. This reminds me that you still haven't explained yourself for earlier! You could've killed us!", Misaki said.

Usagi did not say anything; he seemed to be looking into space, off into the far distance.

"Now listen here, Usagi-san! I don't know what's going on with you but this is really stupid! You're already on thin ice for earlier, so come _on!_", Misaki said highly annoyed now.

Misaki walked on ahead and got into the car, looking at Usagi signaling him to come as well. The older man walked over to the driver's side of the car and got in the car. He slammed the car door and started the car. Without another word, he started the car and they began their drive home in silence.

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**OK guys! So that was chapter 5! See? I told you it would get more interesting. Usagi does not look like he's too impressed with the fact the Misaki went to eat dinner with Ijuuin. This could mean big trouble for their relationship! Please rate and comment! I can ask you to do that now because the story is getting good! Keep on your toes everyone! Chapter 6 will be uploaded next!**

****ps: I think I was really hungry when I was writing this! Look at all the food references! _  
**


	6. Chapter 6: Anger

**I honestly don't know what I was thinking when I wrote this chapter. Things between Usagi and Misaki get heated. And I'm not talking about in the good way. See what happens in this chapter! Read on everyone! Read on! _**

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Usagi pulled the car up to the condo and parked it in the parked it in the car garage. Both Misaki and him exited their car doors and walked to the elevator in silence. Neither of them looked at each other on the way up to the seventh floor condominium. Usagi punched the entrance code in the door and allowed them both inside. Closing the door behind him, Usagi made his way into the living room area and took his coat off and threw it on the couch. In the meantime, Misaki went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Drinking the water, Misaki could not help but feel as if his lover was acting rather strangely.

_Geez, __Usagi-san __is __acting __so __weird. __All __I __did __was __go __out __to __eat __with __Kyou. __It's __not __like __we __were __making __out __or __anything._

Misaki's thoughts flew back to the gentle kiss the Ijuuin had given him that evening. He shook his head and dismissed it any other thoughts that he had on it.

_No __way.__That __wasn't __even __a __real __kiss. __He __was __just __teasing __me! __Kyou __jokes __around __too __much!_, Misaki thought chuckling to himself. Setting his glass down on the counter, he went to the living room area to see Usagi sitting on the couch, smoking. He must have been doing it for a while now. There seemed to be over twenty cigarettes in his ash tray, maybe even more. Looking over at the older man, Misaki could tell that he was still upset. It was plain as day to Misaki. There was an evident look of both annoyance and anger. Misaki shrugged and went back into the kitchen, dismissing it as well.

_What __the __hell? __I__should __be __the __one __who__'__s __mad. __Usagi-san __was __driving __like __a __manic __with __**me **__of __all __people __still __in __the __car __with __him!__Doesn't __he __know __you're __not __supposed __to __drive __if __you're __angry __or __emotional?__**, **_Misaki thought irritably. Misaki took his used glass from the counter and placed in the sink. He was just about to wash it when he noticed Usagi standing in the doorway, looking just as angry as he had before. However the older man did not say anything. Instead he only stood in the doorway leaning on the door, his arms crossed and an angry expression on his face. The fact that Usagi was there and not saying anything made Misaki feel even more annoyed.

"What are you just standing there for?", Misaki asked.

Again, the older man was silent. Misaki decided that it was time to give up. He suddenly felt tired. Usagi was not making any sense to him. Misaki held Usagi's gaze as he moved around in the kitchen tidying up. The older man watched his every move as he did so. After he was done, Misaki looked up and noticed that Usagi was still standing in the doorway staring at him. He let out a loud sigh. But he was past the point of talking anyway. Misaki just wanted to go to sleep. Going out the other way, Misaki made his way back into the living room and stretched. Usagi had also now come into the room, still staring at Misaki. The older man finally began to speak.

"You really don't even know what you did wrong huh?", Usagi said.

Misaki sighed and looked at his lover.

"No, I don't! But I have a feeling you're going to tell me", Misaki said rubbing his temples in his frustration.

"Misaki, do you think it's alright for you to go to dinner with another man, while my back is turned? How would you feel if I did something like that?", Usagi asked.

"I dunno. Why don't you try it?", Misaki said massaging his forehead with one hand. "Look, I already told you that there is _nothing_ between Kyou and I, so would you just drop the subject? I'm tired and I wanna go to bed", Misaki said moving to the stairs. But Usagi blocked his path.

"Don't just dismiss my feelings!", Usagi said seriously.

"I'm not dismissing anything! There is nothing going on here to dismiss! I don't know why you won't believe me! Kyou and I-", Misaki started but was cut off by his angry lover.

"And since when did you start calling him by his first name?", Usagi asked angrily.

"Me and Kyou are _friends_! It's normal for friends to call each other by the first name! I don't know where you get all these weird ideas that pop into your head. It's not that serious!, Misaki yelled

"It is serious!", Usagi yelled, startling Misaki.

"It's not that just that you call him by his first name, but he calls you by your name!", Usagi said.

"S-so isn't that OK? I-I don't see anything wrong with it", Misaki said.

"There is!", Usagi said. "Only I should be allowed to call you that. You're way too chummy with him.", Usagi said.

"Yeah but-", Misaki said only to be cut off by the older man again.

"How dense can you be? There should be a limit to your naivety!", Usagi said, backing Misaki up to a wall. Misaki tried to escape but the older man put placed his hand on the wall, allowing his arm the block Misaki from moving.

"Why won't you listen to me?", Usagi asked angrily.

"B-because it's just stupid!", Misaki said.

Usagi lowered his face to Misaki's and starred at him, a serious expression on his face.

"Stupid? Are my feelings that insignificant to you?", Usagi growled.

"No, that's not what I meant-", Misaki started but Usagi began to speak once again.

"Tell me, Misaki...How would you feel if you went to work and you found me eating and laughing at a restaurant with someone other than you. I've told you time and time again to stay out of situations like that when you _know_ someone likes you.", Usagi said.

"I told you we were _just _eating!", Misaki said.

Usagi narrowed his eyes and bit his lip slightly in anger.

"Really? You were just eating? Then I guess I imagined the kiss he planted on your lips moments before I got there", Usagi said angrily.

Misaki could feel the color draining from his face. His eyes went wide in surprise. He had no excuses this time. Misaki had brushed the kiss off as Ijuuin's teasing. He did not even take it seriously. To him, it felt as if they were just goofing around. It didn't mean anything to him, just having fun.

"Y-you saw that? W-when did you-?", Misaki started.

"I saw it on my way walking over from across the street. But you two were just having too much fun, that you didn't even see me.", Usagi said.

"N-no it wasn't like that", Misaki said.

"Then what was it like?!", Usagi asked, raising his voice again.

"First off he caught me off my guard! He was playing around. Kyou likes to tease me, that's all. You shouldn't-"

"Shut up!", Usagi yelled angrily. Misaki could not recall a time when Usagi had spoken to him like that. He flinched as a reflex.

"Troublesome...", Usagi mumbled.

"Wh-what?", Misaki asked horrified at what he just thought he heard.

"You're troublesome! Do you know how long I had to look for you? I thought you'd be at work, but instead you were on a date with him!", Usagi yelled.

Misaki was unable to speak. Usagi's last words were the only one he heard.

_'You__'__re __troublesome...'_

Usagi himself had said that. About Misaki. He couldn't even describe how he felt to himself. Misaki felt so...vulnerable because of the statement. Misaki couldn't find his voice anymore. He could feel himself slowly slipping away from his conscious.

"U-Usagi-san I...", Misaki said quietly.

"You don't think, Misaki! At all! How do you think I felt when I saw him kiss you?! You don't even know how hurt I felt! That was a blow, Misaki. And a hard one. Why are you so friendly with him all of a sudden? It drives me crazy when I see you together with any other man besides me! Do you even care that you made me feel this way? You two shouldn't be calling each other but first name! You shouldn't be going out together on private dates! And his body should be making no contact with you whatsoever!", Usagi said.

"I-", Misaki started only to be cut off again.

"Honestly when you do things like that it causes me a lot of problems!", Usagi yelled finally.

Usagi was panting slightly now and his shoulders were heaving up and down from his breaths. He brought his other hand up to his face and held it there, trying to compose himself. Misaki had now gone silent. The shock at what his lover had said to him was carved into his heart like a fresh gash. The older man slowly lowered his hand from his face to look at the younger man who was no longer speaking.

Usagi still felt very angry at Misaki. He felt as if he had betrayed him by going out to dinner with Ijuuin. The only thing that kept replaying in his head was Ijuuin's lips on Misaki's. Ijuuin had _kissed_ him. And Misaki had let him. It was the only thing that he could think about. In the meantime, Misaki just stared at the older man in his shock, searching in his head for anything to say to his lover. But he could find nothing.

"Usagi-san...", Misaki started. Before he could finish his sentence, Usagi pinned Misaki to the wall with his body and kissed him. The older man forced his tongue past Misaki's lips and into his mouth, where he began to kiss the younger man hungrily. Misaki flinched at the sheer force of the kiss. The kiss felt full of anger and resentment. It was nothing like the gentle, passionate kisses he was used to receiving from his lover. Misaki began panting, his face tuning red. Trying to catch his breath, Misaki managed to turn his head away from the older man's aggressive kisses, hoping that he could catch a few breaths of air. But that too was in vain. Using his long, strong fingers, Usagi held Misaki's face to his, where he continued to kiss him hungrily.

"U-Usagi-san! Wait!", Misaki said.

The older man did not seem to hear. Usagi continued his kissing siege on Misaki, kissing any skin he could make contact with, but paying very close attention to his lips and neck, which took most of the kissing. Misaki attempted to push the older man away from his body, but Usagi locked one of his long arms around the brunette's entire body, securing him in place. Misaki could not move at all. All he could do was squirm beneath his lover's strong grip.

"Usagi-san! S-stop it!", Misaki yelled.

The older man stopped kissing Misaki and looked at him, a clearly upset and angry look on his face. His brows were furrowed in anger and there was an intense look in his eyes, one Misaki had never seen before.

"You'll kiss Ijuuin, but you won't kiss me?", Usagi asked darkly.

Misaki was taken aback by his lover's attitude. He could not remember any time when Usagi acted in this manner towards him. It was so out of character for him. To Misaki, it just felt so...wrong.

"I-I told you I didn't kiss him!", Misaki said desperately. He wanted Usagi to believe him and trust him, that's all. But the older man's face didn't change its expression. His face looked as cold as ice and he seemed to be emitting a dark aura around him. Misaki felt very uncomfortable. He wanted to escape any way he could. In one last attempt he tried to pry Usagi's arm off of him. But this proved useless. The older man had a firm grip on him and he did not seem like he was going to let go anytime soon.

"Usagi-san-", Misaki started but was cut off by the older man suddenly lifting him over his shoulder, holding his legs firmly in place. In long strides, Usagi made his way up the stairs, Misaki hanging over his shoulder like a light bag of some sort.

"U-Usagi-san! What do you think you're _doing_? Put me down!", The younger man protested, only to be ignored by Usagi. Almost out of instinct, Misaki began pounding on the older man's back with his fists. This too proved to be useless. Usagi's hard, muscular back seemed to be impervious to Misaki's weak blows. Usagi walked up the stairs and towards his bedroom. Upon reaching it he swung the door open and plopped Misaki on the bed. The younger man immediately got to his feet and walked to the door, intending on leaving and going to his own room. He was only a couple feet from the bed when he saw Usagi barring his exit. Once again the older man was silent and did not acknowledge Misaki's yelling and scolding. The older gentleman was still by the doorway and did not move. From where he was standing, Misaki saw Usagi close the door to the room with a gentle click. He now stood there, looking at Misaki as if he were going to interrogate him. Misaki was about to plead with the older man to just let him go to sleep when he heard Usagi speak.

"Take off your clothes", Usagi ordered, darkly. He was already undoing his tie in an irritated manner from around his neck with one hand. The only emotion that Misaki could detect in his lover's eyes was anger.

"Wh-what?', Misaki asked, confused

"I said take off your clothes. We're going to have sex. Now", Usagi said.

"Qu-quit joking around! I'm going to my room", Misaki said irritably. But on the inside, Misaki felt very uneasy. Usagi was acting so...aggressive. Misaki knew that he lover did have an oppressive personality at times, but this was just not like him. His need to leave only grew. Pushing past the older man, Misaki reached for the door knob to let himself out. But in an instant, Usagi grabbed his wrist and dragged him back to the bed. Misaki continued to struggle and fight, but it proved to be of no use once again. Usagi pushed him down on the bed and pinned his body there using his own larger frame. Without speaking, Usagi began to hastily remove Misaki's clothes and his own.

"Usagi-san! S-stop it!", Misaki cried out.

The older man ignored him and continued to remove articles of clothing, taking off Misaki's shirt and setting it aside. Misaki attempted to escape his lover but it was in vain. Usagi was too heavy for Misaki to move, which gave up any hope to his desperate efforts. Usagi then took off his own shirt, exposing his bare chest and threw it to the ground. He then began unzipping Misaki's pants. The younger man was beginning to tire from his efforts. His arms hurt from the struggle. Misaki heard his pants and belt hit the ground. He was only in his underwear now, just as Usagi was. The older man's hands then traveled downwards, where they began to slowly slide Misaki's underwear off. Because Usagi was using both his hands now, Misaki saw this as a good opportunity to stop the man from going any further. Misaki began to hit the older man, in an attempt to get him to stop. Punching Usagi's shoulders, Misaki began squirming once again to try to get free from beneath his lover. But the author simple tightened his knees around Misaki to keep him still. Misaki then began to scratch Usagi's face and shoulders, all the while talking, trying to get him to listen to reason. He had no intention really of hurting his lover, but he wanted this to stop. Misaki managed to scratch Usagi's face with his nail. A thin cut on the man's face slowly began to seep blood through it. Not paying any attention to the cut, instead Usagi used one of his large hands to hold both of Misaki's slim wrists. Misaki could not move at all now. The older man had finally taken off Misaki's underwear, exposing the younger man to him.

"Wh-what the hell is wrong with you?!", Misaki yelled

Instead of answering, the older man reached his hands between Misaki's legs and began to stroke his manhood. Misaki could feel himself going hard, almost instantly. The younger man felt embarrassed at himself for giving in so easily. Nonetheless, Misaki really was in _no _mood to do this with his lover right now. Something did not seem right. Usagi was angry at him but he was still wanted to do this. It was strange and made the younger man feel uncomfortable. Misaki flinched when he felt Usagi's mouth over his heat, sucking and licking it with his hot mouth and tongue. Ignoring the fact that it just felt wrong, Misaki was beginning to feel scared of the way Usagi was acting so eager and aggressive. After a few minutes, he shuddered and Misaki felt himself release into the older man's mouth. After that, Misaki felt himself lose strength. He lay down on the bed, not fighting anymore, breathing hard. Misaki tensed when he felt three long fingers suddenly enter his hole. Unlike usual, Misaki could not find it in himself to relax, making the sudden intrusion very uncomfortable. Before he knew what was happening, Misaki felt strong hands grip his thighs and spread his legs apart. Usagi was now positioned over him, a serious look on his face. Looking around, the younger man also noticed that Usagi had thrown his boxers to side of the bed. Misaki felt his mind go blank. Nothing seemed right. He attempted to raise himself up in a sitting position, but in an instant the older man violently shoved him back down into the bed, and gripped the younger man's thighs firmly.

"S-stop it! Usagi-san!", Misaki said, pounding one of his fists on the older man's chest.

Without warning, Usagi penetrated Misaki, with his long and hot, length, where he then began thrusting in and out of Misaki. The motion was something that the younger man was not used to. Unlike usual, Usagi's thrusts were hard and cold, seeming empty of any love or compassion. The brunette didn't even fell properly aroused to do this and Usagi had neglected to use the usual lubricant. And because of it, he found it impossible to relax. It was actually painful and Misaki found himself wincing at every movement from the older man. Misaki felt like he was being torn apart from the inside.

"Ah-Ow! Ouch!", Misaki cried out, in pain.

The older man only thrust harder in response. He was oblivious to Misaki's cries of pain and protests. Usagi's sense seemed to have been lost to the anger that boiled inside of him.

The brunette continued to weakly squirm and struggle, hoping his actions would somehow separate them and that Usagi would remove his heat from inside on him. But it was not use. The struggle seemed to only make it that much more painful. Gripping the older man's shoulders, Misaki looked up at his lover and barely recognized him. He had taken on a completely different nature.

"No...No! I-I don't want to!", Misaki cried

The older man's head was bent in a way where Misaki could not see his face, but when he raised it upwards, Misaki saw that his once loving and compassion lavender eyes, were now cold and icy full of mistrust.. He raised Misaki's hips higher, allowing him to drive his manhood deeper into Misaki. With each thrust, Misaki quietly screamed for him to cease his aggressive movements.

"U-Usagi-san! S-stop it! I-", Misaki was cut off by his own scream of discomfort. "It-It hurts!", Misaki cried, hopelessly.

The author continued with his rough movements, seeming to not hear anything the younger man said to him. It was clear the Usagi was now running on the emotions that he was feeling. Misaki's head could feel blood pumping in his head now. It was way too much for him to process. Usagi really wasn't stopping, despite his cries telling him to. This continued for an hour. Misaki's voice had grown hoarse from his protesting, and now he was barely able to utter any sounds of pain.

"Oh god. U-Usagi-san. Please...N-no more", Misaki whimpered pathetically.

The older man continued his thrusting for another half an hour the same as before. Misaki's body felt painful and he was so...tired. He wanted to close his eyes and go to sleep. Misaki thought that if things kept going the way they were, then he really would be torn to pieces. However, just then, the older man ceased his movements. Misaki felt his lover's body shudder signaling that he had released his own fluids. Misaki could fell the moisture of the author's ejaculation. Panting, he hovered over Misaki, his face unseen, and slowly his body on top of Misaki's and pulled the covers over the both of them. The younger man desperately wanted to go to his own room but Misaki didn't even have any more energy to speak, let alone move. The last thing he felt before passing out were Usagi's strong arms slowly wrapping themselves around him, pulling him into an embrace, trapping him there until he decided to let go.

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**Well now...even I was surprised when I wrote the end of this chapter. I hope you all don't think I'm a sadist or anything. LOL. I just thought it would go along with story...which I never had a basis for in the first place. Hmmmm...oh well I guess I just really wanted to try writing a story where Usagi forces himself on Misaki. Speakig of which! Poor Misaki! Usagi was obviously upset that Misaki had gone out to eat with Ijuuin and he was taking his anger out on Misaki sexually! Could this be the end! Of course not! Things may look bad now But don't worry! This story is looong. And it doesn't end here! But you have to keep reading if you want to find out more! **

**Oh and one more thing! I was so happy when I first uploaded my chapters last night and in less than like twenty minutes, my traffic graph read over 200 views! Woo hoo! ****Keep**** reading everyone! Please rate and comment!**** Chapter seven is coming up next!**


	7. Chapter 7: Regret

**Here's chapter 7! How will Misaki react to Usagi after last night? Read and find out! Enjoy readers! ^_^**

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When Misaki woke up hours later, he was alone in the bed, the sheets only up to his waist. He rubbed his head, trying to remember anything that he happened afterwards. The young man vaguely remembered the author getting dressed on the far end of the room, his back turned towards him the whole time. Usagi simply got dressed and left, closing the door behind him, not looking back at Misaki. After that Misaki fell back to sleep out of exhaustion, hoping that his body would stop hurting by the time he got back up. But his hopes went unanswered. Misaki's body ached all over. When he swung his legs over the edge of the bed and slowly stood up, the young man found himself falling underneath the weight of his own body. His legs couldn't support him. Grabbing onto the bed post, Misaki stood himself up, waiting to regain his balance.

Putting one foot in front of the other, Misaki slowly made his way to the bedroom door. Upon reaching it, Misaki put his ear to the door and listened for any movements coming from the outside. He heard nothing. The recent events of what happened only hours ago left the Misaki feeling shaken and scared. The last thing he wanted to do was see his lover. He waited a few more minutes and still did not hear any noises coming from inside the condominium. Misaki timidly pushed open the door and cautiously peered outside into the hallway. Usagi was not downstairs and there was no sound of him being in the kitchen either. The older man was obviously not home. Misaki let out a shaky sigh and began to make his way to the bathroom. He had to hold onto the wall for support to make sure that he didn't fall down again. But the more Misaki moved, the worse he felt. He felt nauseous and his body still felt very painful. The older man had taken no precautions to be gentle with Misaki and he was now experiencing the aftermath of it. Misaki finally reached the bathroom door.

He pushed it open and stood shakily looking at the tub. He wanted to shower badly. The young man somehow felt dirty thinking about the recent events that had occurred. Before he could take one step to the shower, Misaki felt himself overcome by an intense wave of nausea. Misaki crumpled down and held his mouth so that he couldn't get sick over the floor. He crawled over the toilet, gripping the sides of the seat and threw up. With each release into the toilet, his shoulders convulsed and hunched over as a reflex. Misaki continued to vomit for twenty minutes. When he was sure that no more would come up, he sat down on the bathroom floor and held his head between his hands. The headache had returned.

_God __I __feel __awful. __Wha-what __happened? __I __really __don'__t __understand __anything._, Misaki thought massaging his temples.

Misaki pulled himself off the floor and got into the shower. He turned on the water and stood beneath its hot water. Because his arms hurt, instead of lathering himself, he just stood under the water, letting it bathe his body. The bathroom was filled with steam in a matter of minutes. Looking at the floor of the shower he saw red liquid mixed with water running down the shower's drain. He slowly reached his behind his butt and then held it in front of him to examine. Misaki's hand was coated in a thin layer of bright red blood. Misaki just stared at his hand, expressionless. It was almost as if he were in some kind of trance. Misaki leaned against the wall of the shower and slid down to the floor of the shower. After an hour, Misaki got dressed and made his way to his room. It was already ten in the morning. Between going out with Ijuuin and his fight with Usagi, a whole day had flow by. Looking at the clock, the first thing that ran through Misaki's head was that he had forgotten to make breakfast for Usagi. It had been a normal routine thing for the two of them to eat all their meals together and it was very important to Misaki, he enjoyed all the time they spent together. Misaki let out a heavy sigh and made his way into the living room to sit on the couch. As he sat down, his face consorted in pain. His bottom and whole lower body was still in pain.

_Maybe __I __should __just __go __back __to __bed..._, Misaki thought as he slowly got back up, slightly hunched over.

He had only taken two steps from the couch, when he heard the door opening, followed by slow and heavy footsteps. Misaki knew they belonged to Usagi. Suddenly he felt very nervous and uneasy. He slowly and quietly made his way towards the stairs, hoping to go unnoticed by his lover. Misaki stopped dead in his tracks though, when he sensed someone standing in the doorway behind him. He did not need to turn around to know who it was. The younger man once again began walking to the staircase, trying to ignore the older man's presence. He was only a couple of steps from the next step when he heard his name being called.

"Misaki", Usagi said, causing Misaki to flinch involuntarily.

Misaki slowly turned around to face his lover. The only thing is that he was not actually looking at Usagi. Misaki avoided eye contact with the older man. He was glad that Usagi was still a few feet away from him. It would make It was easier for the young man to hide the uneasiness he felt.

"Y-yes?", Misaki answered, still not making eye contact with the older man.

In three long strides on his long legs, Usagi was now on the other side on the room, standing directly in front of Misaki. Feeling even more nervous, Misaki resorted to looking at the floor in a timid and shy manner. He did not think that he could handle looking in his lover's eyes right now, and he did not know when he would be able to again. The events of last night had just shaken him to the point where he didn't even know who Usagi was anymore. He had to admit to himself that what happened before had _scared_ him. Misaki just didn't know how to act around Usagi anymore. It was that plain and simple. The older man slowly reached one hand up and gently placed it on Misaki's cheek. The younger man flinched at the contact without meaning to.

"I...", Usagi started looking at Misaki's turned down head.

"Is your body OK?", Usagi asked, seriously. "I didn't mean to-", but he didn't get a chance to finish his statement. Misaki turned his face away from the older man further.

"Oh y-yeah. I-I feel fine", Misaki stammered.

"Are you sure-", Usagi started again, only to be cut off once more by Misaki.

"Uh huh. I-I'm tired so...um I'm going back to my room to sleep", Misaki said.

"Misaki...I-", Usagi began again. But Misaki was already slowly making his way towards the stairs now. He put his foot on the first step. But as he was about to haul himself up, Misaki was hit with an intense pain in his abdominal area and lower stomach. He winced in pain, as he fell backwards to the floor. He was lucky that he was only a few inches away from the ground. Clutching his stomach, Misaki found himself yet again sliding to the floor in his discomfort. He heard Usagi's frantic footsteps getting closer to him at a fast pace. He was now standing over Misaki, a worried look on his face. Misaki did not look up at the older man, but instead held his stomach tighter and held his head lower. The young man became startled when he heard the sound of the author kneeling his tall frame to the ground to be on the same level as Misaki.

"Misaki! Are you alright?", he asked concerned.

"I-I'm OK", Misaki said still not looking at the author. Feeling the older man's worried gaze still watching him, Misaki spoke again.

"I-I'm fine", he said weakly.

"You're _not_ fine at all!", Usagi said. "Do you want to go to the hospital?", he asked.

_The __hospital? __And __what __am __I __going __to __tell __them __happened? __That __my __lover __was __upset __with __me __and __r-raped __me, __forced __me __to __have __sex?__Cause' __that's __what __happened. __N-no...I __can't __do __that._

"R-really, I'm OK. I-I just need some rest is all", Misaki said quietly.

Misaki was started when he felt Usagi's large, cool hand place itself gently on his back.

"Alright. You don't have to go to the hospital then. But for the rest of the day and tonight too, stay in my room.", Usagi said.

Misaki suddenly felt very nervous. He almost felt scared to sleep in his lover's room.

"You can sleep while I work. That way I can keep an eye on you", Usagi reasoned.

"N-no", Misaki said quietly. "I-I want to sleep in my own room", he finished sadly.

"You're sick. So let me take care of you", the older man said.

"It-it's alright. I-I'll be fine on my own.", Misaki said, still holding his head low.

"No", Usagi said firmly. "You're going to sleep with me tonight. Now come on. Let me help you to the bedroom", Usagi said, sliding his hand lower on Misaki's back.

Usagi moving his hand in that motion was too much for Misaki to handle right now. He immediately slapped his lover's hand away from touching him. Usagi was surprised at the younger man's reaction, his eyes full of hurt. Misaki shakily stood up, refusing any help that the older man offered him, and leaned on the closest wall he could find.

"M-Misaki?", Usagi asked.

"P-please. D-don't touch me. I-", Misaki cut himself off, looking upset.

The author held his head slightly low, in shame.

"Misaki...this is about what happed last night isn't it?", Usagi said looking guilty.

Misaki gripped his arm tightly. This time he looked at Usagi, making eye contact. In the younger man's eyes were emotions of fear and hurt. The older man winced at Misaki's expression.

"I-I don't know what came happened. I was just...angry that you had dinner with Ijuuin. It was a mental lapse of my sanity", Usagi said, looking guilty.

"Misaki, I-", Usagi began but was interrupted.

"S-so, I-I was being punished?", Misaki said slowly.

"No, Misaki. Of course not", Usagi said pleadingly. He walked over to Misaki and gently gripped the boy's small shoulders.

"It should never have happened. The last thing I would want is to hurt you, Misaki. I didn't mean for it to go that far. I...I'm sorry", the older man said.

Misaki's eyes were still hidden. He was not making any eye contact with Usagi still.

"Misaki...look at me", Usagi said imploringly.

Where there was no movement from the younger man, Usagi gently placed both of his hands on either sides of Misaki's face and slowly tilted his head up to look at him. What he saw sent a chill through his spine. Misaki's emerald green eyes were sad and lifeless. Usagi couldn't find any words to say.

Suddenly, the older man's lavender eyes widened in horror.

"Wait...is that why your body is in so much pain? Why you've been feeling sick?", Usagi asked, sadly.

Usagi felt Misaki's own body shiver slightly at the mention of it. The author automatically knew that he had indeed guessed right. With this, the older man also understood why Misaki did not want to go to the hospital. He stared woefully at his small lover, wishing that he could go back in time and beat the living snot out of himself. He now believed that at that point of time, while he was doing that to Misaki, he was a monster. He actually felt like hitting himself now.

"How are you feeling now?", Usagi asked cautiously.

He was met with only silence.

"Misaki...", the older man pressed.

With his head still turned downwards, Misaki spoke.

"M-my body hurts", Misaki said sadly.

"...I'm sorry", the older man uttered again, guiltily.

The older man slowly wrapped his arms around the smaller boy, slowly pulling his lithe body close to his. Usagi was startled when he felt Misaki's small hands pushing at his chest. Pushing him away from Misaki. It was obvious that the younger man wanted distance between the two. Still, the older man felt his eyes grow wide in his shock. Misaki's hands shook as they held the older man at a distance, pushing them away from each other.

"I'm s-sorry b-but I-I want to go to sleep. In-in my own room", Misaki said sadly.

"M-Misaki...I-", Usagi began but stopped when he detected the quiver in Misaki's voice

"Alright...", Usagi said in defeat, sadly.

Misaki slowly lowered arms from the older man's chest and slowly walked up the stairs, Usagi felt horrible while he watched his young lover walk. It was obvious that Misaki was in physical pain and probably mental distress as well. With each movement of his legs, the young man's face consorted in pain. Now that the brunette was fully up the stairs, Usagi watched Misaki as he turned in the direction of his room, still slightly limping, and disappeared around the corner. The author heard the sound of soft footsteps, followed by the sound of a door being closed. The older man just stared into space, alone with his own thoughts. He knew that he would be eating dinner alone tonight.

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**Awww that was kinda sad! Misaki doesn't feel like he can be around Usagi now! But can you blame him? Usagi forced himself on Misaki because he was angry with him! He feels really bad about it now but that doesn't change what he did. Will they be able to get past this or is this too much for Misaki to handle? Read and Find out! Chapter 8 is coming to a fanfiction site near you! I'll see you there!**


	8. Chapter 8: Doubt

**Hey there again. I don't have much to say about this chapter as an introduction. I guess it's just about Misaki and how he feels with everything now. Chapter 8 everyone! Please enjoy. **

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Misaki spent the rest of the day in his room, just as he had said he would. He spent the majority of the day sleeping and taking pain killers to stop the pain he felt all over his body. After a couple of hours, the medication began to take effect. Misaki was no longer feeling any intense pain in his stomach or abdominal area. The pain was now replaced with a numb and steady ache, which he deemed tolerable. He was also happy to see that his rear had stopped bleeding, which was due to time and not the pills of course. Because of the medication, however, Misaki found himself getting more and more tired as the day went on. At eight O'clock that evening, Misaki decided that it was time to go to bed. Hopefully, the effects of the pills wouldn't last too long and he could get to waking up early and cooking breakfast. Misaki suddenly felt himself shudder. The thought breakfast reminded the young man of eating breakfast with his lover. He let out a worried sigh. Misaki was still not ready to start acting normally with his lover again. Thinking back on it, last night was the first time that Misaki had let the older man eat dinner alone. The author loved eating together as much as Misaki did. But it would not be the last. The older man would have to eat alone tonight as well. Misaki just needed some time to calm himself down before things could go back to being normal. Luckily for him, Usagi had gone out today, working with Aikawa in her apartment on his newest novel. Because of this Misaki made his lover's dinner early and put it in the fridge for him to eat when he returned. It would give him another night of solitude without him having to see Usagi. The young man made a face at the thought. He was actually _avoiding _Usagi. The man who took care of him, loved him, and did everything in power to make him happy. At that thought, Misaki started to feel guilty. Usagi had done so much for him and this is what they had come to. And it was not just the fact that Usagi always tried to make him happy. Misaki knew that he loved the older man and being away from him felt horrible. Even if it was only for two nights, Misaki missed sleeping with Usagi. He missed the way the older man's strong, long arms wrapped themselves around his small body, holding him in a tight embrace, close to his own body. Last night was hell for him. Misaki couldn't stop shivering. He had gotten so used to Usagi's body radiating heat for him that even the slightest breeze or movement of air caused him to feel deathly cold. He just missed everything about Usagi. It was true that he was still frightened of what happened, but he just felt that if he wasn't with the author soon then he would fall apart.

_I...I __need __to __talk __to __Usagi-san. __God...I'm __not __sure __if __I __can __last __another __night __a-alone __in __bed. __I __miss __him..._, Misaki thought sadly to himself

Misaki had his mind made up. He would talk to his lover the next night and set things straight. Misaki would have done it today but he was just...tired. Misaki lay down in his bed and pulled the covers all the way up to his chin. Looking at the darkness of the ceiling above him, Misaki found himself slowly drifting to sleep. He slowly closed his heavy eyelids and slept.

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**Well at least Misaki is going to talk to Usagi! That's good right? Or maybe not? See what happens next!**


	9. Chapter 9: Doubt II

**Really, really short chapter. Not gonna say anything about it. But enjoy anyway. ^_^**

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When Misaki woke up it was already late in the afternoon. Of the _following __day _since last night. Glancing at his bedroom clock on his nightstand, he saw that it read a quarter past noon . His eyes went wide in surprise. Misaki had actually slept the whole night and day away, which was very unusual for him, even given the factor that he had been doped on painkillers. He slowly got out of bed and stood up on the soft carpet. Misaki stretched his arms and then arched his back to get out the any kinks that may still be there. He _was_ feeling better. Misaki noted that most of the pain was gone after two days. Even the steady aching was slowly beginning to disperse. He felt very energized. But at the same time the young man felt very nervous. He knew that he would have to speak with Usagi sooner or later about what happened. They would have a serious talk and clear the air between them. Misaki admitted to himself that it was unfair to the older man to go to dinner with Ijuuin, without even bothering to call. He felt bad about it and just wanted to make things right again. He opened the door to his room and walked out into the hallway. Misaki walked to Usagi room and slowly peered inside to see if he was there. The room was empty, along with the unmade king sized bed. He walked downstairs and checked the living room and kitchen for the author, but he was nowhere to be found. Misaki was almost relieved that the older man was not home. Taking a deep breath, he went to the bathroom and took a quick shower. Afterwards, he quickly got dressed and wrote a small groceries list. He threw his bag over his shoulder, putting his keys in and was out the door in a matter of minutes. Misaki was on his way to the store. He knew that he had already decided that he would have dinner with Usagi tonight.

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**Yay Misaki is really going to talk to Usagi now! Keep reading and see where it will lead. And don't worry, chapter 10 will be way longer than this one! **


	10. Chapter 10: The Talk

**OK so here's chapter 10! Yes! We're in the double digits people! There may be some grammatical errors that I may have missed but I tried my best to get everything corrected. Spell check is on the fritz. My stupid brother messed up my computer so no spell check. Yep. It's sad but true. But anyway. Back to the point. This here is chapter 10 of my story thus far. You guys enjoying it? Aww who am I kidding? Of course you are! LOL. But seriously, in this chapter Misaki and Usagi finally get to talking about what happened when they got into the argument. I hope they patched things up! What about you? Read and see for yourself! Enjoy!**

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Misaki returned from the store an hour later, both his hands full of bags of food. As soon as he got home, Misaki went straight onto the kitchen and began the process of making tonight's meal. It was already late in the afternoon, so he decided to get started early. He placed the bags on the counter and began taking them out and placing them in bowls to begin preparing them. Misaki spent over an hour making the meal that he would be sharing with Usagi. He wanted to make it special because they had not spoken to each other in a while and if his brother taught him anything, it was that men bond the best over a good meal. After an hour, he was finished making the dinner. He put everything away in the fridge to save for later.

Feeling restless and anxious, Misaki spent the rest of the day cleaning the condo. He had been very busy with work recently, so a lot of dirt and disorganization had piled up over the last could of weeks. Misaki was thankful for it though. Cleaning took his mind off of the difficult dinner conversation that awaited him later in the evening. Looking at the clock on the wall, Misaki saw that it was just past six O'clock. He finished up the last of the dusting and then headed to the kitchen to take out the meal. Misaki knew that Usagi would be back early tonight and he wanted to be ready. He took another quick shower and walked back downstairs. He heard the door open and shut as he made his way into the living room. The older man appeared in the doorway, looking as tired and fatigued just as he had the day before.

Usagi made eye contact with Misaki, and then suddenly turned his head away, a sad look on his face. In long steps the, author quickly retreated to him room. Misaki heard his door slam shut and then suddenly open again. The young man slowly walked up the stairs and listened for any sounds coming from the upstairs hallway. He could hear the soft, relaxing sounds of a hot shower in progress. Misaki sighed and made his way back into his own room to read. After forty minutes, Misaki closed his manga novel of The Kan that he was reading and walked out of his room and back downstairs. He went to the kitchen and heated to food up in the oven, where he then placed them on the plates that were set on the table. Misaki stepped back and admired the food that he had made. The meal consisted of salmon, spinach salad, daikan, rice, mushrooms cooked in soy sauce and ginger, fried eggplant with red miso, asparagus cooked in butter, salt and pepper, with a side on mayonnaise, leftover miso soup, and oolong tea. He had made more food than he expected, but he though it to be a good thing. Food was always a good ice breaker and if anything became awkward in the conversation, Misaki decided that he would just eat.

He let out a heavy sigh and made his way out of the kitchen to retrieve his lover. Misaki was about to enter the living room to get upstairs, but stopped when he saw the older man sitting on the couch reading a book. Misaki immediately flung himself top the wall before he could be seen. But then he remembered the reason he there. To make up with Usagi. Taking another deep breath, he stuck his head out to look at the author. He wanted to say something to get his attention, but Misaki was too nervous to do even that. He stuck his neck out further and still did not say anything, but instead only looked at the older man's depressed lavender eyes. Feeling that he was being watched, the older man raised his head from his book to look at Misaki, his eyes full having a tint of surprise in them.

"Misaki...", the older man said. "What's wrong? Are you feeling sick again?", he asked, suddenly looking sad again.

"Uh, no...Um actually...I came to tell you that dinner's ready", Misaki said slowly.

"Ah...I see", Usagi replied.

Seeing that the older man did not make a move to get up from his seat on the couch, Misaki spoke again.

"Uh...Don't you want to eat?", Misaki asked.

Usagi nodded slightly.

"Well...then you'd better come before it gets cold", Misaki said slowly, as he walked to the kitchen to compose himself. While he was in the kitchen, Misaki could hear the footsteps of the older man going towards the dining area. He took another deep breath and went to join his lover. Usagi was already seated at the table in his regular chair. Misaki sat down as well and looked at his plate, not sure what to say.

"I-itadakimasu", Misaki said awkwardly.

"Itadakimasu", Usagi said in a somber tone.

The two began eating in silence, neither one looking at the other. Misaki felt disappointed in himself for not letting the conversation go anywhere. After another fifteen minutes of mute atmosphere, the younger man felt that he could not take anymore. He put his chopsticks down and let out a nervous sigh, before he lifted his head up to look at Usagi. When the older man saw that Misaki was now looking at him. He stared at the brunette in slight surprise, his chopsticks in mid air for his next bite.

"U-Usagi-san...We-we need to talk don't we?", Misaki asked holding his head further up.

"Yeah...we do", Usagi said, putting his food utensils down on his plate. He crossed his hands in front of his face, waiting for their talk to begin. Since Misaki was the one who initiated the conversation at the dinner table, he felt compelled that he should be the one to speak first. Taking another deep breath, Misaki continued.

"I-it's about what happened two days ago", Misaki said, not sure if he was doing the right thing or not.

Misaki saw the older man look away and hold his folded hands closer to his mouth.

"Y-you don't want to? I mean if you don't want to talk about it, we don't have to", Misaki said disappointed.

"No...let's talk about it", Usagi said, bringing his face to look at Misaki's. He looked unsure and unhappy about the conversation that was about to start.

"O-ok then", Misaki said nervously.

"Misaki...", the older man said suddenly, reaching his hands across the table to hold Misaki's. "I'm sorry about what happened", the older man said woefully.

Misaki found himself flinching at the sudden contact of the older man, but then relaxed against the familiar feel of Usagi's cold, yet comforting large hands.

"It-it's OK...", Misaki said slowly.

"No...it's not", the older man said squeezing Misaki's small hands. "I should never have...forced myself on you like that...", the older man said.

Misaki looked up at the older man, meeting his eyes.

"I-I'm sorry if I made you upset by having dinner with Ky-I mean Ijuuin sensei...I-I won't meet with him again if you don't want me to", Misaki said looked ashamed.

"No, Misaki. It's alright. I don't want to interfere with your work or restrain you in any way. I was just being selfish and childish", Usagi said.

"O-ok", Misaki said, looking down again.

"Misaki?", the older man said again, squeezing Misaki's hands a little harder. "Tell me what's wrong", he said.

"Sorry. It-it's nothing", Misaki said looking away.

"Tell me", Usagi urged.

Misaki's hands suddenly started to shake. He squeezed his eyes shut and waited before speaking again. The older man still holding his trembling hands.

"I-I was scared of you", Misaki said, pulling his hands away to bury his face in them.

"Misaki...", Usagi said sadly. But he was cut off by the younger man speaking again.

"I-I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't be like this b-but I can't help it. Y-you just changed so suddenly that...I don't know what happened.", Misaki said. The older man could see a stream of tears running through the sides of Misaki's hands, even though they were pressed tightly to his eyes.

"It was painful", the younger man said trembling.

"Y-you just wouldn't stop. Even after I told you to. I-I didn't even know who you were.", Misaki said still shaking.

All Usagi could do was look at his young lover and feel ashamed at what he had done to him.

"A-and you...it-it just felt like there was no...love in it.", Misaki said tearfully. Misaki sniffed and then lifted his emerald green eyes to look at the older man.

"Y-you love me...don't you?", Misaki asked, uncertainly, his eyes brimming with warm tears.

The older man felt as if his heart was being twisted from the inside. He felt horrible that he had caused his beloved Misaki so much pain. With his lip quivering slightly, the author answered.

"Yes. With all my heart. I love you, Misaki", Usagi said, sincerely. He reached his hands across the table and gently took Misaki's hands in his own. He slowly brought them to his mouth and kissed each of Misaki's hands gently.

"I love you", the older man said again, looking at Misaki.

Misaki felt his own eyes fill with tears again. He brought his eyes to look into Usagi's lavender ones.

"I-I love you too, Usagi-san", he said, still looking into the eyes of the author.

In an instant, the older man got up from his seat to stand over Misaki. He pulled the young man from where he was sitting and pulled him into a warm embrace, burying his head in the longish brown locks on the smaller boy. Usagi whispered sweet things into Misaki's ear, while gently rocking him back and forth in his arms. All Misaki could do was hold on to him, happy that they were once again together.

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**Awww Misaki and Usagi made up! isn't that great? So is this it? Will things be good now and they'll be in love all the time or will this happiness be short lived? If I were you, I'd place my bets on the second senarion. There is not enough drama for it to be anywhere near done! so keep reading everyone! thanks a lot! ^_^**


	11. Chapter 11: Happy Once Again

**Just a really short chapter about how Misaki and Usagi finally patched things up and the feelings Misaki has for Usagi. Enjoy chapter 11! **

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Just like that, things had gone back to normal for the couple. Misaki himself was very happy that he and Usagi had made up. They had even started sleeping in the same bed again. It felt at comfortable and right as Misaki had remembered. Falling asleep in Usagi's long arms was the thing Misaki missed most and he was glad to have it back. The older man really was sorry for what he had done. Misaki could see it in his eyes. Everytime he looked at the author, there was always a hint of guilt and remorse. Not to mention, Usagi must have apologized over six hundred times. Misaki did not want to make him feel any worse than he already was feeling. He loved Usagi and Usagi loved him. With that in mind, Misaki could not help but forgive the man. Misaki knew that he had hurt the older man's feelings badly by going to dinner with Ijuuin. And _he_felt bad about that. After what happened, Usagi and Misaki spent as much time as they could together, which proved to be a good deal. Since finishing his college classes, Misaki had a lot of free time on his hands and he was only in a work study and intern job at Murakawa until next month. After the month was up, Misaki would be working full time at the publishing company. For Misaki, it was scary and exciting at the same time. He would finally be entering the society of adult hood. And he was happy that Usagi would be with him every step of the way. That was something he was sure of.

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**Again this chapter was a little boring like some others but the story will keep getting better, trust me on this. Looking forward to posting chapter 12! ^0^**


	12. Chapter 12: I Love You

**OK everyone, Here is chapter 12! I hope you guys like it! ^_^**

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On a particular night, Misaki was finishing cleaning down the counter of the kitchen. Usagi was in the living room working on his next novel, of which Misaki was sure that he had missed the deadline for. Misaki chuckled to himself, on the thought of his lover's habits to procrastinate till the last minute to get his work done. He was so deep in thought of the matter, Misaki did not even notice the older man walk up behind him. Misaki felt Usagi's long arms wrap themselves around his slim waste. Usagi rested his chin in the croon of Misaki's neck and breathed in his scent. Misaki felt himself blushing at the contact with his lover. He let himself relax in Usagi strong chest, feeling comfortable and happy. Usagi gently kissed Misaki's neck, causing the younger man to shiver slightly.

"Misaki...let's go to bed", the older man cooed.

Misaki blushed again.

"B-baka Usagi! Can't you see I'm cleaning up?", Misaki said, still blushing.

"Misaki...you're smiling", Usagi said

As surprising as it seemed, Misaki _was_ smiling. He didn't even know why. But he felt happy. He couldn't stop the gentle smile that had spread across his face. Usagi smile too when he saw this. He wrapped his arms tighter around Misaki's waist, raising one up slightly to lay his large hand flat on Misaki's stomach.

Usagi began to lay butterfly kisses on Misaki's neck. In the midst of doing so, his hand found its way under Misaki's shirt and apron, where it ran its way up Misaki's soft stomach and to semi-hard nipples. Usagi began gently twisting and pinching. The older man knew Misaki liked it when his nipples were played with and the older man made sure to use it to pleasure the smaller boy. Misaki automatically dropped the cloth he was using to clean. Misaki couldn't stop himself from letting out an aroused breath.

"Ah...", Misaki breathed in. His face was flushed and strangely enough, Misaki found himself getting more and more aroused by the minute. Without thinking, Misaki placed his hand on Usagi's hand that was under his shirt. He had meant to pry the caressing hand off his chest, but instead only pressed it closer to his chest, causing Misaki to moan in pleasure. The younger man could not find it in himself to lift the older man's hand off his chest. Misaki was beginning to lose feeling in his body and he felt so...turned on. Usagi's continued his caressing on Misaki's nipple, causing his breath to quicken.

"Misaki...", the older man whispered in his ear, causing Misaki to shiver out of the pleasure he felt.

"You're not going to put up a fight?", Usagi asked huskily, ceasing his finger movements.

Misaki wasn't even thinking about the words that the older man had just said. He just felt the need to be closer to Usagi. Without even thinking, Misaki spun around and wrapped his slim arms around the older man's neck. Using the strong neck for support, Misaki pulled himself higher and kissed the older man passionately. Misaki was surprised at himself. He didn't think he would do that but he did. The older man was shocked at Misaki's sudden show of emotion, but relaxed into the kiss and returned it with twice the love and passion. Misaki slowly pulled away and buried his face in Usagi's chest. He pushed his face deeper into Usagi's shirt to hide his red blushing face.

"...it...", Misaki mumbled.

The older man did not hear what Misaki said. His words were muffled due to his face being buried so deep in Usagi's clothes.

"Misaki...what did you say?", Usagi asked confused.

Misaki pulled his face off Usagi's chest just enough for the older man to head what he was going to say.

"L-let's...do it", Misaki said quietly, his face flushed a deep pink color.

A smile spread across Usagi's face. He gently lifted Misaki's lightweight frame up and carried him princess style up the stairs, kissing and caressing him every step of the way. When Usagi had carried Misaki past the door way of his bedroom, he used his foot to shut the door and walked over to the bed. The older man laid on top of Misaki's and kissed him with fierce passion. Usagi let his warm tongue explore every inch of the younger man's mouth. Misaki's and Usagi's tongues danced together as they both explored one another's mouths with their love. The older man bent lower and gently kissed Misaki's chin and then began laying a trail of butterfly kisses from the younger man's neck down to his exposed chest in his unbuttoned sleeping shirt. Misaki did could not stop moaning. The mere feel of Usagi's breath on Misaki's skin was enough to drive him wild. After caressing Misaki's skin through his clothes, the older man's hands found their way up to Misaki's chest, where they began undoing the remaining buttons of Misaki's shirt. Usagi had to hold himself back so that he did not just tear off Misaki's shirt. His hands were slightly trembling from the anticipation. He wanted Misaki. He needed him. Usagi had now unbuttoned Misaki's shirt just enough for it to expose the younger man's lower stomach. Usagi traced his hands over Misaki's chest, feeling everything that was his young lover. He lowered his head and began to gently kiss Misaki's exposed chest, every once in a while allowing his tongue to brush the soft skin. Misaki shuddered at the shear pleasure. The older man then suddenly paused. He slowly raised himself from on top of Misaki's chest and looked him in the eyes. Misaki could see the lavender eyes full of doubt and guilt. His hesitation.

"Misaki...should I stop? Is this really OK?", he asked Misaki.

Misaki blinked. He didn't know what to say. The older man was being so attentive and caring that he did not even know how to feel at that very moment. And in truth, Misaki did not want the older man to stop his caressing and touching. He actually liked it and wanted more than ever. Misaki never thought that the touch and words of one person could make him feel so happy and full of warmth. Instead of answering, Misaki raised his hand up and gently touched Usagi's cheek and smiled. For some things you don't need words. Usagi smiled also one filled with love and appreciation. He kissed Misaki again passionately and pulled the covers over them, where they began their sweet love making. Usagi kissed and caressed every single inch of Misaki's skin, while in return Misaki gently caressed the older man's body and ran his fingers through his soft silver hair. All of the older man's movements were intimate and passionate. Misaki felt his whole entire body become engulfed in heat when he felt the older man's heat inside of him. It was a feeling the younger man knew too well. No matter how many times they did it, Misaki was always amazed at the sensation and feelings that occurred because of Usagi's touch. The older man wrapped his hands around Misaki as he continued his steady, passionate thrusts. With each one, Misaki cried out in pleasure. It seemed that Usagi never missed his mark when doing this with Misaki.

"Nnnnn...Ahhhh...U-Usagi-san!", Misaki moaned in his pleasure.

Usagi kissed Misaki's neck and then his lips warmly again.

"U-Usagi-san...", Misaki breathed. "I-I'm going to come", he let out.

"Then come...", the older man whispered hotly in Misaki's ear.

Misaki cried out again and then shuddered as he released on Usagi's stomach. His face had become flushed completely pink, as his whole entire body was. Everytime Usagi touched him Misaki's body would become hot, it didn't matter where. Misaki felt the older man's body quake over his his, signaling that he too had released his fluids. Usagi positioned himself lower and buried his face in Misaki's stomach. On instinct Misaki wrapped his arms around the older man's neck and placed his fingers through Usagi's hair. Misaki was overcome by a sense of nostalgia. It reminded him of the first time he and Usagi had sex. They were in the same position afterwards.

"Usagi-san...I love you", Misaki said quietly.

"And I love you, Misaki", the older man said.

Misaki smiled once more as he drifted off the sleep in the arms of his beloved Usagi.

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**Aren't you all glad that Misaki and Usagi have finally reconciled...the right way? ;)**

**How did you like the lemon? If you think this was good, wait till the story gets further along! this is nothing! LOL. **

**Please keep reading more! It's the weekend you know so I have time to upload as many as I want!**

**Aint it grand? LOL. I'll see you all in a bit! please rate and comment! ^_^**


	13. Chapter 13: Trust

Misaki slowly opened his eyes from his peaceful sleep from the night before. He could feel a naked and sculpted body next to his own. The first thing that he saw when he woke up was Usagi's handsome sleeping face. Misaki could hear the gentle breathing that was escaping from his lips. He reached one of his hands out from under the sheets and ran his finger along the outline of the author's lips. Misaki blushed as he slowly pulled himself up a little and gently kissed the older man on the lips. Misaki was glad Usagi had not woken up to to see him. His face had flushed pink for the umpteenth time. He felt embarrassed for it but found himself smiling again. Misaki moved in closer to the sleeping Usagi and snuggled his head into his chest, counting the older man's heartbeats and feeling the movements of his chest as he breathed in and out. Misaki felt himself become relaxed as he began to drift off again. However just as he was about to do so, Misaki heard a strange noise coming from his pants near the bed. It was a buzzing noise coming from his pants pocket. Misaki let out a silent groan. He was always taught to pick up the phone when someone took the time to call him, but right not he felt so comfortable and cozy that he really did not want to move. Misaki decided that he would silently ignore it. The phone continued to vibrate on the floor in his pants. The brunette felt the older man stir in his sleep, while still holding him in his long arms. Misaki _really _didn't want to move an inch from his position, but did not want the sounds coming from his phone to wake up Usagi. He felt relieved that the ringer had been turned off the day before though. Misaki sighed heavily as he bent over towards the floor to pick up his night pants. He pulled out his vibrating cell phone and pressed the talk button, without even bothering to see who it was.

"Hello?", Misaki said, still yawning.

"_Misaki, __hi. __How __are __you?__"_, a cool voice said.

Misaki perked up. He knew that breezy voice anywhere.

"Kyou? Is that you? Wh-what are you doing calling so early?", Misaki inquired, saying himself out of bed.

Misaki's voice turned more serious.

"Are you OK? Has something happened at work?", Misaki asked worriedly.

Misaki heard Ijuuin chuckled lightly through the other end of the phone.

"_No, __no. __Nothing __like __that __really. __I __just __felt __like __talking __to __you __that's __all.__"_, Ijuuin said.

The younger man felt his shoulders relax after hearing that nothing was wrong with the mangaka.

"Talk?", Misaki asked, confused.

"_Well __yes.__Just __harmless __talking...Oh __and __don't __worry, __Misaki. __We're __on __the __phone __now, __so __no __alcohol __will __be __present__"_, Ijuuin said. Misaki could hear the musing laughter in his voice as he said that.

"How mean!", Misaki said, pouting childishly. But nonetheless, he could feel himself starting to smile too.

The mangaka chuckled again.

"_Mean?...why __Misaki, __I'm __only __looking __out __for __you...You __know...Seeing __how __you're __such __a __'light weight' __and __all__"_,Ijuuin said breaking into another fit of laughter again.

"Kyou, you bully!", Misaki whined.

"So...Misaki, can you talk right now?", Ijuuin asked.

"You mean like _right _now?", Misaki asked, stealing a glance at the older man whose arms where still securely around his waist.

"_Is __now __not __a __good __time,__Misaki?__"_, Ijuuin asked. His voice seemed to have gotten softer.

"Oh no. I mean it's OK", Misaki said, as he slowly began to slide his slim body out of Usagi's grasp.

It took some maneuvering, but after a couple of minutes, Misaki had gotten loose from his lover's warm and secure embrace. He swung his legs over the side of the bed carefully so he wouldn't wake the author. Using one of his feet, Misaki retrieved his night pants from the floor and slide it over his legs, putting it on, all the while his ear still pressed firmly to his cell phone. He quietly made his way out of the room and to the living room.

"Kyou? Are you still there?", Misaki asked.

"_Yes.__I'm __still __here...you __were __getting __dressed __weren't __you?__"__,_Ijuuin asked slyly.

Misaki felt his face flush beet red.

"W-well yeah. So? I mean it's normal for people to put their clothes on after they get up isn't it?", Misaki asked flustered.

"_Ah. __Right __you __are, __Misaki...so __does __that __mean __you __were __sleeping __naked?__"_, Ijuuin asked amused.

"Wh-what does that mean?", Misaki asked. His face was getting redder by the minute.

"_Oh __nothing...__"_, Ijuuin paused.

"What?", Misaki asked. He was almost scared of what Ijuuin would say next.

"_No. __It's __just...I __bet __you __didn't __go __to __sleep __alone __now __did __you?__"__,_Ijuuin asked with a smile in his velvety voice.

"Kyou,...", Misaki groaned, embarrassed. On the other end of the phone he could hear Ijuuin laughing.

"_OK. __OK. __I'm __done.__"__,_Ijuuin said.

"Really?", Misaki asked, suspiciously.

"_Yes...for __now __anyway__"_, Ijuuin said with another chuckle.

Misaki groaned again, holding his face in his hands in attempt to make his face color stop being red.

"So, Kyou. What did you call for anyway?", Misaki asked.

"_Actually __I __called __to __ask __you __if __you __would __want __to __go __to __a __manga __convention __with __me __in __downtown__Tomorrow__"_

Misaki filched.

"T-tomorrow huh?", Misaki repeated, thinking.

"_Yeah.__The __Kan __is __going __to __be __featured __as __the __main __event, __but __that __isn't __until __later __in __the __week. __I __was __wondering __if __we __could __just...hang __out __tomorrow.__"_, Ijuuin said.

The brunette's eyes bulged in surprise.

"Wow! Really! That's so great! You must be so proud of yourself. Congratulation, Kyou!", Misaki gushed. He couldn't stop a wide smile from spreading across his face.

"_Thank __you,__Misaki. __That __really __means __a __lot __coming __from __you__"_, Ijuuin said, sincerely.

"Well of course. I mean I'm proud of you too. I'm really happy for you", Misaki said.

"_So __how __about __it, __Misaki?__Think __you __can __make __it?__"_, Ijuuin asked.

"_They're __giving __out __a __ton __of __free __stuff. __I __thought __you __would __be __interested, _Ijuuin said.

Misaki paused, his mind running wild with his thoughts.

_Geez. __I __really __wanna __go __actually...but __how __would __Usagi-san __feel __if __I __went __out __again __with __Kyou?_

An idea suddenly clicked in the younger man's head.

_Oh __wait! __Tomorrow __Usagi-san __has __to __leave __for __a __meeting __with __Isaka-san __and __Aikawa-san. __He'll __be __gone __for __five __days, __at __least...M-maybe __I __can...No! __No! __God __what __the __hell __am __I __thinking?! __Sneaking __around __behind __Usagi-san's __back!...that's __not __cool..._", Misaki thought guiltily.

"Um...Kyou. I don't think that I'll be able to make it after all", Misaki said sadly.

"_Really? __That's __too __bad __then...__"_, Ijuuin said disappointedly.

"_I __was __really __hoping __to __go __with __you__"_, Ijuuin said through the other end.

"Yeah...I would have been a lot of fun to hang out. Just like last time", Misaki said smiling sadly.

"But...there are just some things that I really need to take care of so...", Misaki trailed off.

On the other end on the phone, Misaki could heard Ijuuin sigh.

"_It __won't __be __the __same __without __you...__"_, Ijuuin said, disheartedly.

"Have fun though...Oh and do you best!", Misaki said, trying his best to hide his own disappointment.

"_Alright...__"_, Ijuuin said.

"OK then. Bye. Take lots of pictures for me OK?

Ijuuin laughed slightly.

"_You __bet__"_, Ijuuin said.

"Bye, Kyou", Misaki said.

"_I'll __call __you __later__"_, Ijuuin said.

"That's fine. OK bye", Misaki said and hung up. Misaki closed his eyes and let out a heavy sigh. Just as he closed his phone shut, he felt strong arms warmly wrap themselves around his neck. Misaki looked up and saw Usagi slightly bent over the couch where he was sitting. The older man still had bed hair and Misaki couldn't help but blush after thinking how handsome the older man looked even when he first woke up. Usagi looked down and noticed the cell phone that was in Misaki's hands.

"Were you talking to someone, Misaki? Who was it?", the older man said as he kissed Misaki on the cheek.

Misaki sighed and smiled gently at Usagi.

"No one", Misaki replied, as he held onto the older man's arms that were draped lovingly around his shoulders.


	14. Chapter 14: Bliss

Misaki and Usagi spent the whole day together. The older man wanted to get in as much time with Misaki as he could. Because the author didn't want to go out, Misaki and Usagi stayed home all day relaxing enjoying each other's company. They were so lovey dovey that day, to the point where they couldn't find it in themselves to stop kissing. The both of them spent the day eating and watching television together. Usagi had his arms wrapped around Misaki for the entire day, not daring to let go even for a minute. Over the course of the day, neither of them could stop smiling. Everything just felt so...right between them. They were both happy. As the day drew to a close, the two were still happy. The only negative aspect was the though that they would soon be separated from each other. Misaki made dinner as usual and he and Usagi enjoyed a delicious fish fillet dinner, talking and laughing the whole time. Misaki washed the dishes and then went upstairs to the older man who was already waiting for him in bed. Misaki slid in the sheets next to him and rested his head in Usagi's chest and relaxed. He enjoyed cuddling with Usagi. The older man's chest felt so warm and inviting to him. Usagi wrapped his arms around Misaki. A heavy sigh escaped his lips. Misaki looked up towards the older man from where he was.

"Something wrong, Usagi-san?", Misaki asked.

The older man sighed again.

"No...it's nothing. It's just that...I really don't want to leave.", Usagi said.

"It'll only be for a couple of days", Misaki said.

"Still...that's a couple of days without you.", the older man said.

The author man smiled seductively and then positioned himself on top of Misaki.

"U-Usagi-san?", Misaki said, flustered. He could feel the older man's large and growing erection though his pants.

"Misaki...", Usagi cooed in the brunette's ear.

"Baka-Usagi! You-Oh!", Misaki exclaimed when he felt a large hand stroke his own manhood.

Misaki could feel his body becoming hot.

"Usagi-san...I", Misaki breathed, unable to complete his own sentence yet again.

The author began to run his warm tongue along Misaki's neck, causing him to cry out in his ecstasy. Misaki's length had become hard in his Usagi's loving, yet provocative grasp.

"Usagi-san...you...I mean we can't do this now...", Misaki let out. But the older man continued with his caressing and touching, causing each and every single part of Misaki to become inflamed with lust.

"But you want it so bad, Misaki...", Usagi said hotly in Misaki's ear.

"Y-you have to...Ah!...get up in the morning...Oh!...for work", Misaki said quietly. He had to put his hand over his mouth to muffle his moans.

"I'll get up. Don't worry. But right now I'm with you. And I won't be able to touch you for days...so let me fill up on some Misaki...", Usagi said, as he gently nicked Misaki's ear with his teeth.

"Come on, Misaki...spoil me...", the older man said kissing the side of Misaki's face and licking his ear.

Misaki turned his face to look Usagi in the eye and blushed. He wrapped his slim arms around the author's neck and kissed him softly on the lips. Misaki pulled away, looking at the older man embarrassed. Usagi smiled and kissed Misaki passionately as he pulled the fresh, clean sheets over the both of them. The brunette sighed to himself. He had just washed all the sheets today. He'd have to wash them again. With that final thought, Misaki wrapped his arms around the older man's strong back and spoiled his precious rabbit all night long.


	15. Chapter 15: Departure

Misaki opened his emerald green eyes to look up at Usagi, who still had his arms wrapped around his waist. The older man gently smiled at Misaki and ran his hand softly through the brunette's.

"Good Morning, Misaki", the older man said, still smiling.

Misaki blushed.

"Good morning", Misaki said, still blushing. He pulled the sheets just below his eyes to hide his face that was growing pink in its color.

Usagi wrapped his arm gingerly around the younger man's neck and kissed Misaki's forehead.

"U-Usagi-san?", Misaki asked, confused.

"Sorry, but you're really just too cute. Even in the morning.", Usagi said, pulling wrapping both his arms around Misaki and pulling him in close.

Misaki breathed in the familiar scent of his lover and smiled to himself. He was just about to relax into the older man's chest when he remembered something. Misaki pulled away slightly, his eyes bulging in worry and embarrassment.

"Usagi-san! Wha-what time is it?", Misaki asked looking for the clock that was always near the bed. After twisting he neck to look for it all over the room, he found it on the floor unplugged from the outlet.

"Usagi-san! Y-your clock! It's not plugged in!", Misaki said getting out of bed.

"Oh...that? There was an annoying sound coming from it so I pulled it out the wall", the older man said nonchalantly.

"What did you do that for?!", Misaki asked flustered. The younger man reached for the phone on Usagi's nightstand and flipped it open. Looking at the screen, Misaki saw that the time read eight am. Walking over to the bed, Misaki began to pull the author by his arm to get him up.

"Usagi-san! It's past eight!", Misaki said.

"So?", Usagi asked, not really caring.

"So, Aikawa booked a flight for you an _hour_ ago!", Misaki said. His attempts to get the older man out of bed seemed to be futile and he was getting tired of pulling.

"I'll just call and cancel the meeting then. Aikawa won't mind", the older man said coolly.

"You know she will!", Misaki yelled, still trying to get Usagi off the bed.

Just then, the author's cell phone began to ring incessantly. The ring was loud and non stopping. Usagi sighed and reached for his phone, and picked it. Using one hand, he flipped the phone open to see who was calling, but did not answer. He grunted and then closed the phone, tucking it under his pillow. He could still feel Misaki slightly tugging on his arm trying to get him out of bed.

"Uhhh...Usagi-san, who was that?", Misaki asked suspiciously.

"Oh...that person?...well no one of consequence", the older older man coolly.

"Usagi-san...", Misaki groaned in frustration. "W-was that Aikawa-san?", Misaki asked, wide eyed.

"Hmmm...possibly", Usagi said smoothly.

"Why don't you come a little closer and I'll tell you", the older man said smiling seductively.

"I knew it! It was Aikawa-san!", Misaki said frantically. "OK Usagi-san! You've had your fun! Now it's time for work!", Misaki yelled.

"Oh...if it's fun I want to have...then how about coming back to bed?", Usagi said huskily as he pulled Misaki back on top of his broad chest.

"Usagi-san! Get _up_ already!", Misaki said annoyed. "You're going to be late!", Misaki yelled, pulling on his sleeping pants.

"Oh no, Misaki. I think that staying home with you will be much more satisfying", the author whispered in Misaki's ear.

"No way!", Misaki yelled, his face growing more red by the second.

The older man man ignored Misaki's insults and slid his large hand inside of Misaki's sleeping shirt.

At that moment, the only thing that was going through the brunette's head was the inevitable wrath that he and Usagi would be facing once Aikawa realized that the older man wasn't planning on going to the meeting. Misaki's eyes went wide at the mere thought of it.

"Usagi-san! Get up! You need to get dressed and ready to go!", Misaki protested.

The older man did not seem to hear a word that Misaki had said. Instead, he responded by running his warm tongue along Misaki's neck, laying a trail of kisses on it while his hand caressed the younger man's nipple.

"Usagi-san! Hurry and get dressed already! Before Aikawa-san-!" Misaki started but cut himself off when he heard a loud bang from downstairs. The loud clacking of heels on the hardwood floors followed shortly afterwards. Misaki could now head the quick footsteps nearing the bedroom where he and Usagi was tangled in the bed, Misaki trying got get free to shield himself from the catastrophe that was sure to follow. Suddenly there was a loud knocking on the door, followed by an annoyed and persistent twisting of the door knob. Apparently Usagi had locked the door while Miskaki was sleeping. Misaki saw the older man smile as he leaned in to kiss him on the mouth. His lips were just inches from Misaki when there was a loud thud from the outside of the door. In the doorway stood Aikawa, her long leg positioned upwards, in a kicking stance. In her anger, she had actually kicked the door in. Misaki lifted his nervous eyes to see just how much damage had been caused, aside from the door now hanging on only one hinge. He didn't even need to lift his head up all the way to know that the editor was absolutely pissed.

"USAMI-SENSEIIIIIIIII! GET YOUR LAZY ASS OUT OF BED! NOW!", Aikawa yelled crazily

The author merely grunted and positioned himself on top of Misaki fully, pulling the covered over the both of them in one quick movement. In a flash Aikawa flew over to the bed and violently yanked the sheets off Misaki and Usagi, that the older man had been trying so hard to keep covering them.

"What do you think you're doing so early in the morning?", Usagi asked annoyed.

"That's what I'd like to know! Just what do you think you're doing still in bed?! You're not even dressed yet! The flight for the meeting left over an hour ago!", Aikawa yelled at the older man. Usagi simply yawned and buried his head in Misak's neck. Looking upwards, the brunette could see the older woman's face turning red in rage and annoyance. Misaki could practically feel violent and murderous energy flowing from her. Her aura was absolutely fearsome.

"USAMI-SENSEI! GET DRESSED! YOU ARE GOING TO THAT MEETING!", Aikawa bellowed.

"I don't feel like going anymore", the Usagi said, yawning. "Go away and tell the board members I won't be attending the meeting", the older man said in boredom.

"USAMI-SENSEI!", Aikawa yelled.

In the meantime while Aikawa was yelling at the author, Misaki was struggling to remove himself from underneath the older man's large frame. The last thing Misaki wanted was for Aikawa to pay him any attention to him. After all it _was_ kind if his fault that Usagi had not gotten out of bed. Aikawa ceased her yelling for just a moment and turned to look at Misaki, her eyes softened when she saw him. The brunette's eyes went wide and he began apologizing non stop to the red headed woman that stood above him.

"Sorry! I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry! Usagi-san's a huge idiot! Do as you will with him, but spare me!", Misaki protested nervously. Instead of responding right away, Aikawa did the same thing she did only a few days earlier. In one violent tug, she yanked Usagi off of Misaki's and he was once again in the same position he had been in a few days ago. Laying face down on the floor, stiff as a board. Misaki heard the older man grumble something about calling the police on Aikawa for breaking and entering with deadly assault, but most of his attention was focused on Aikawa who was looking down at the author in annoyance. Using the pointed heel of her shoe, Aikawa nudged the older man with her shoe, turning him over to face the ceiling.

"Time to get up, Usami-sensei!", Aikawa said briskly. Using one hand, she grabbed the older man's ankle and dragged him to the bathroom and threw him in.

"Now hurry up and get dressed Usami-sensei! I already booked us another flight, so get a move on! Don't make me come and dress you myself!", Aikawa called through the bathroom door. Aikawa made her way back to the bedroom to see Misaki stretching. He blushed at seeing the older woman in the doorway.

"Good morning, Aikawa-san", Misaki said, embarrassed.

"Morning, Misaki-kun", Aikawa said smiling.

"Oh...Uh...sorry about this morning. I didn't mean to make Usagi-san late", Misaki said.

Aikawa laughed.

"That's alright, Misaki-kun. It's not your fault. Usami-sensei just doesn't like to work at all. It must be hard to be loved so much", Aikawa said laughing. Misaki smiled at the editor, happy that she was so understanding and he had not received the same treatment the author had. All his body parts were in tact. While Misaki and Aikawa were talking, Usagi came into the room looking just as annoyed and disgruntled he had as the moment Aikawa walked in. He clicked his tongue in annoyance when he made eye contact with Aikawa.

"Not going to take a shower?", Aikawa asked.

The older man groaned in annoyance.

"Well, OK then! Get dressed!", Aikawa said pulling one of Usagi's many suits out of his closet and throwing it out him. Though the author was able to catch the blazer, not even moving an inch to do so, the pants landed on his head, over his face, the crotch directly on his nose, splitting the legs of the pants.. Aikawa turned him around and pushed him out the door towards the bathroom. Once he was gone, Aikawa turned to face Misaki.

"Misaki-kun. Sorry to be so loud in the morning. Usami-sensei just makes me want to rip my hair out", Aikawa said.

"That's OK. I know Usagi-san can be hard to deal with at times", Misaki said smiling.

Aikawa laughed and turned to sift through Usagi's closet.

"Aikawa-san, what are you doing?", Misaki asked.

Still studying the contents of the closet, the editor answered.

"That damn Usami-sensei did not pack his bags for the trip. I have to pack them for him.", Aikawa said. She looked at her watch and sighed heavily. "Ah! I only have an hour to pack his things and get us to the train station!", Aikawa exclaimed. In a minute, Misaki was out of bed and standing next to the red headed woman.

"Aikawa-san, if you want I can help you pack Usagi-san's things", Misaki offered. Aikawa smiled and pulled Misaki into a hug.

"Thank you, Misaki-kun! That'd be a really big help!", Aikawa said brightly.

Misaki and Aikawa spent the next half an hour packing a large suitcase full of Usagi's clothes and other things that he may need for the time he would be away. In the bag they packed clothes, shoes, sleeping garments, and other things as well. When they were finished the two stepped back to look at the suitcase they had packed.

"Hmmmm...that should be enough right? What do you think Misaki-kun?", Aikawa asked turning to the brunette.

"Well, you'll only be gone for about a week, so it should be enough.", Misaki answered.

"I think you're right, Misaki-kun!", Aikawa said. "Now let's go check on our award winning author!", Aikawa said cheerfully. Misaki followed Aikawa out into the hallway and to the bathroom.

"Usami-sensei! Are you ready yet? It's almost time to go!", she called through the door, knocking earnestly on it. She was about to open it and peer inside, when the door suddenly opened and the silver haired man appeared looking annoyed.

"Quiet down already. I'm dressed", Usagi said irritably.

"Took you long enough", Aikawa said looking down at her watch again.

"We have to be out of here in another ten minutes! Get you shoes on!", she said.

Still standing beside Aikawa, Misaki spoke.

"Aikawa-san, before you guys leave do you want some coffee? You kinda look like you need some", Misaki said smiling.

Aikawa smiled at Misaki's offer.

"That'd be great, Misaki-kun!", Aikawa beamed.

Misaki brushed his quickly brushed his teeth and made his way downstairs to start brewing the coffee. After a couple of minutes it was finished. Reaching on top if the fridge, Misaki pulled out two portable paper mugs and poured coffee in both of them. He guessed that Aikawa and Usagi would not have time to drink coffee here. He placed two cardboard heat protectors on each cup and carefully picked them both up, one in each hand and made his way into the living room, where Aikawa and Usagi were quietly arguing with each other. As he walked in, Aikawa smiled at him, grateful for the help he had provided this morning. Misaki walked up to the couch and placed the two mugs on the table in front of the two older people.

"Sorry I couldn't make breakfast for you today Aikawa-san. But since you're in a hurry, you can just take your coffee with you", Misaki said smiling at the older woman.

"Oh no, Misaki-kun. It's not a problem at all. I'm the one that should be apologizing. After all I did kick your bedroom door in coming to haul Usami-sensei off to work", Aikawa said laughing.

"Thanks for the coffee, Misaki-kun", she said, picking a cup up and taking a sip of it. Aikawa looked at the clock hanging on the wall and abruptly stood up.

"Usami-sensei! It's time to go!", she exclaimed, grabbing her purse and swinging it over he shoulder.

Usagi let out an annoyed groan and then also got to his feet and followed Aikawa to the door, where his bags were already waiting.

"Need help with the bags?", Misaki asked.

"Nope! Not to worry! I'm sure that Usami-sensei can carry his own bag for once. It's the least he can do after making me come all the way to get him. In fact he can carry mine too", Aikawa said as she swung her purse strap around the older man's neck. Usagi gave her a murderous look, one to which she simply smiled at. Aikawa opened the door to let them both out. Still in his pajamas, Misaki took the elevator down with the two and walked them to the car. He helped Aikawa move her own packed bags around in the car to make room for Usagi to sit down. Her car seemed to be filled to the brim with papers and books from her working out of her car on some nights. Misaki made a mental note to himself that he would help her clean her car out later, probably when she got back. Once everything was moved to make room and the trunk was secured with the bags, they closed everything up, making sure the trunk was properly locked. Aikawa walked over to the driver's side and opened her door.

"Usami-sensei! We should get moving!", she said as she got into the driver's seat and started the engine.

When she was inside and her door was closed, the older man turned to face Misaki. It was a little cold, even for the winter and Misaki could feel his cheeks growing pink. He looked up at Usagi and offered him a small smile.

"Have a safe trip, Usagi-san", Misaki said.

Usagi leaned down to Misaki's level and engulfed him in a fierce hug, not wanting to let go.

"I'm going to miss you so much, Misaki", the older man cooed in Misaki's ear.

Misaki cheeks turned to darker shade of pink.

"It's only for a couple of days remember? You won't even have time to miss me", Misaki said.

"Every second I'm away from you, I miss you", the author said.

"Really now, Usagi-san. You're so clingy!", Misaki exclaimed.

"I would like to hold on to you forever", the older man said.

Misaki's eyes widened. He felt like smiling but held it in.

"Usagi-san", Misaki said, blushing deeply now.

"Usagi suddenly leaned his head down and kissed Misaki passionately on the lips. He allowed his tongue to trace every inch of the inside of Misaki's mouth and dance with Miskai's own tongue. The kiss was so sudden that the brunette didn't have any time to react, let alone protest. Instead Misaki found himself immediately giving into the kiss and returning it with his own love. He would miss Usagi just as much as Usagi would miss him. After a few more minutes, the older man pulled away, gazing in Misaki's eyes.

"W-we're in public. You shouldn't do that...", Misaki said feebly. He was still blushing and his eyes had now gone hazy and dream like. Usagi's heated kisses seemed to always have that kind of effect on him.

The older man simply smiled at him and patted his head affectionately.

"I really wish I could stay home", Usagi said again.

Just then, the car horn beeped three times. Aikawa stuck her head out the driver's side window and called out to them.

"Usami-sensei! We have to get on the road now!", Aikawa called, beeping the horn once more.

Usagi reluctantly pulled his lips away from Misaki and placed his hands on his shoulders, giving Aikawa an annoyed look. The older man looked down at the brunette again and his eyes softened lovingly. Leaning down once again, Usagi gently kissed Misaki's forehead, his long, elegant fingers running affectionately though Misaki's soft, brown hair.

"I love you", Usagi whispered lovingly in Misaki''s ear. He pulled the brunette into a warm embrace, taking in his sweet and soft scent.

"I-I love you too Usagi-san", Misaki said blushing.

Misaki slightly jumped when he heard the car horn beep twice more.

"I guess you should get going then...", Misaki said looking down. He was feeling sad about not seeing his lover for a couple of days, but knew there was nothing to be done about it.

"I'll be back as soon as I can", the older man said sadly. The author loved his work but he hated leaving Misaki's side for any period of time. He reluctantly let go of Misaki and made his way to the car. Usagi gave one more depressed glance over his shoulder before getting into the car. Aikawa put her head out of the car window one last time to call out to Misaki.

"Misaki-kun! Take care of yourself while we're gone!", Aikawa called.

Misaki waved as the car drove off. He could see Usagi looking sulkily out of his side at the window at him.

The car gradually sped up and disappeared around the corner, leaving Misaki standing on the sidewalk alone in the chilly cloudy morning.

When Usagi and Aikawa left, Misaki went strait back to his own bedroom. He curled up in his sheets and fell back to sleep in a matter on minutes.


	16. Chapter 16: Away From Home

Misaki woke several hours later feeling replenished and refreshed. He walked to the bathroom and took a hot shower, letting the water relax any nerves that he was feeling. When he was done he got dressed and made himself breakfast. He sat down at the dining table and took a bit of his rolled eggs. Swallowing his mouthful of food, Misaki frowned. It felt weird sitting alone at the table without Usagi to talk to. The thought made him feel sad and lonesome. Instead of taking another bite, Misaki picked up his plate of food and when into the living room and sat on the couch. Turning on the television, Misaki plopped his feet on the coffee table and relaxed, eating while he watched a cartoon program. He felt as though he needed a change of pace to keep his mind off his lover. He did not want to feel sad at his absence, though he had a very good reason to. When he was finished eating, Misaki took his dishes to kitchen sink and washed them. Afterwards when he was done, he proceeded to clean the entire condominium. He must have cleaned everything. In only a couple of hours, Misaki had cleaned the bathrooms, the bedrooms, mopped the floors, vacuumed, did the laundry, dusted, made the beds, and even finished cooking dinner for himself that night. The clock now read a quarter to five. Misaki sighed to himself. He was feeling bored and lonely and the first day wasn't even done yet. Suddenly however, he had an idea. Misaki remembered that Ijuuin had given him the newest volume of The Kan free of charge. And it was an extended volume at that. He quickly ran to his room to retrieve it and came strait back down the the living room. Getting in a comfortable lying down position, he opened the book and began reading. Misaki was so engaged in his book , that he barely heard the telephone ringing only a couple feet away. Setting, the book down on the table in front of him, he made his way over to the phone and answered it.

"Hell? Usami residence", Misaki said into the phone formally.

"_Misaki, __it's __me.__"_, said a familiarly weary voice on the other end.

"Usagi-san? What are you doing call? You should be working.", Misaki said. But he was still happy to hear the older man's deep voice.

"_I __miss __you...__"_, Usagi said.

"You've only been gone for a couple of hours!", Misaki exclaimed, laughing slightly to himself.

"_I __can't __help __it__", _the older man said.

"Oh...I miss you too, Usagi-san. But you shouldn't be distracting yourself from your work". Misaki said logically.

Misaki heard the author groan on the other end of the phone.

"You'll be home in a couple of days", Misaki reassured him again.

"_I __know...__"_, Usagi said, sounding depressed.

"Usagi-san...If...I mean if you're lonely...,..or want to talk...you can call me anytime...I-I won't mind", Misaki said shyly.

"_Misaki...thank __you._", the older man said gratefully.

"_Don't __forget __to __call __me __anytime __you __want __too. __Nothing __makes __me __more __happier __than __hearing __your __sweet __voice__"_, Usagi said.

"What are you talking about? Baka-Usagi", Misaki said, smiling slightly.

"_Misaki, __when __I __get __back __let's __go __out.__We'll __go __to __dinner __and __stay __in __a __private __room __after.__"_ Usagi said suddenly.

"Alright", Misaki said smiling. He was happy to look forward to going out with Usagi on a date, even if it was the overly expensive and luxurious ones he hated so much. Suddenly, Misaki heard a woman calling the author.

"Usagi-san, I think Aikawa-san is calling you. You'd better go", Misaki said, surprised to hear the sadness in his own voice.

Usagi let out a long, irritated sigh.

_"Alright. But I'll call you back later tonight", the older man promised._

'OK.", Misaki said.

"Bye, Usagi-san. Talk to you later", the brunette said into the phone.

The older man said his good bye and Misaki hung up the phone and returned to his reading position on the couch . Misaki let out a silent sigh to himself. Without Usagi there to keep him company, it seemed as if it would be a long five days without him.


	17. Chapter 17: Beloved

Misaki spent the rest of the next day at home. Though he felt lonely, he did not want to disturb the author's work. To pass the time, the brunette read and watched television. Since the days seemed as if they were going to be unfulfilling, Misaki was now looking forward to the nights. That reason being, that Usagi would call and they would talk for hours on end. Just last night, the two of them spent hours on the phone making casual conversation about almost nothing. It had only been a couple of hours since the older man left on that day but last night alone, Usagi and Misaki must have spent nearly the entire evening talking to each other just as they often did. The younger man laughed to himself knowing that the older man had elongated their conversation time since he was not home and he didn't want Misaki to feel lonely. The brunette had to tell Usagi to go to sleep , knowing that he had an early meeting this morning. It never ceased to amaze Misaki just how considerate and caring the author could be and it made him happy thinking about it. As time passed on, Misaki kept a close eye on the clock, wanting to make sure that he did not break the 'away from home' routine, he and Usagi had decided to create. Usagi told him that he would call every night at eight in the evening for the time he would be away on his trip and Misaki could no deny the fact that for almost the entire day he had been looking at the time, counting the hours to hear Usagi's clear, low voice. When evening came, Misaki picked himself off the couch and ate his dinner. Afterwards, he took a shower and went into his room, where his fully charged cell phone was already waiting for him and Usagi's call. Misaki climbed into his bed and sat up, his cell phone held lovingly in his lap. The clock on his nightstand read ten minutes to eight. Just as Misaki let out a sad sigh, his cell phone rang. He flipped it open to see who was calling and smiled. He pressed the talk button and put it to his ears, his cheeks flushed slightly in serene happiness.

"Hi Usagi-san", Misaki said into the phone still smiling.

"_Misaki, __how __are __you?__"__,_a familiar husky voice asked.

"I'm fine, Usagi-san...", Misaki answered back, his voice soft. In the end he trailed off a bit, and the older man immediately caught it.

"_Misaki, __is __something __wrong?__"__,_the author asked worriedly.

"Nope it's nothing. It's just really good to heat your voice is all", Misaki answered cheerfully.

"_Misaki, __I __miss __you __so __much__"_, the older man cooed sadly.

"I know", Misaki answered gently. He didn't need to say anything for Usagi to know that he missed him just as much.

Misaki suddenly remembered what he wanted to say to the older man while he was home, but had forgotten since him trying to do damage control because of the misunderstanding Usagi had about Ijuuin and himself.

"Oh yeah, Usagi-san! That reminds! I-", Misaki cut himself off, noticing that he was already blushing from just the thought of what he was about to bring up.

"_Misaki? __What __is __it?__"_, Usagi asked through the other end.

"Um...It's just that...Do you know what Saturday is?", Misaki asked, blushing deeply.

On the other end of the phone was silent. There was a long pause from the other end until the author spoke again.

"_Hmmm...__"__,_the older man lightly.

"_Now __Misaki...It __wouldn't __happen __to __be __our __first __yearly __anniversary __would __it?__"_, the older man said into he receiver, a slight chuckle in his voice.

"Y-you remembered!", Misaki beam, smiling brightly.

"_Of __course __I __did. __I __cherish __every __special __moment __that __I've __had __with __you__"_, the author said sincerely.

Misaki found his cheeks flushing even more so as he spoke again.

"Ah...Usagi-san...You remembered..._both _our anniversaries?", Misaki asked embarrassed.

The older man chuckled on the other end of the call once again.

"_Yes.__How __could __I __forget? __May __19__th __is __the __anniversary __of __when __we __first __became __a __couple. __When __we __first __made __love__"_, Usagi said into the phone.

Misaki felt his entire body flush pink with happiness.

"You remembered...", Misaki said again, sighing in both happiness and out of embarrassment.

"_I __did...__"_, Usagi said quietly into the phone.

"A-and that's why you said we'd go out to dinner when you go back", Misaki said laughing slightly.

"_Yeah, __that's __right__"_, the older man said.

Misaki didn't know what to do with the happiness he felt. His lips started to move and form words on their own.

"I'm so happy, Usagi-san...", Misaki said in a small voice. He instantly slapped his hand over his mouth, feeling embarrassed at himself. He didn't mean to turn his thought verbal.

"Uh...well...w-what I mean to say was...ah...I-I am happy you remembered, Usagi-san", Misaki said, embarrassed.

"_I'm __happy __too,__Misaki. __I'm __happy __to __love __you. __Happy __to __be __loved __by __you. __Happy __to __know __that __all __of __you __belongs __to __me. __And __happy __to __have __met __such __a __wonderful __person __as __you __in __my __life__"_, Usagi said sincerely.

A single tear of joy, silently ran its way down Misaki's cheek. All he could do was wipe it away, numb from the happiness that he was experiencing.

"I love you, Usagi-san", Misaki, said sniffling quietly.

"_And __I __you,__Misaki.__"__,_the older man said.

Misaki was surprised when he heard a frustrated grunt coming from the other end of the phone.

"U-Usagi-san?", Misaki asked bewildered.

"_Damn...I __really __want __to __hold __you __now__"_, the author purred into the phone.

Misaki blushed again.

"Y-you can do that when you come home. On Saturday.", Misaki said blushing again.

The author chuckled again.

"_I'm __happy __that __you __give __me __permission __to __do __so__"__,_the older man said.

"Y-you don't have to ask though...a-as long as there are genuine feelings when we're doing it", Misaki said looking down at his hand.

"_Misaki...__"_, the older man said again.

"Huh?", Misaki asked.

"_I __love __you __so __much, __Misaki__"_, Usagi said.

"Usagi-san...", Misaki said.

"_In __truth, __I __want __to __come __home __right __now __on __the __next __flight, __train, __or __whatever __to __get __to __you...I __want __to __kiss __and __hold __you __so __badly...__"_, the he said on the other end.

"B-baka Usagi! You're working now!", Misaki said, taken aback by his lover's strong emotions.

"_When __I __get __home. __I'm __going __to __mess __you __up, __and __remind __you __of the__day that was__the __first __time __I __made __love __to __you.__"_, Usagi said huskily into the phone.

Misaki's breath began to quicken out of the mere thought of it.

Usagi must have noticed this change in Misaki. There came a light and short chuckle from the other end of the phone.

"_What's __wrong, __Misaki? __Do __you __want __it __now?__"_, the older man said huskily. His voice had the tiniest bit of muse in it.

"Wha-what are you talking about?", Misaki asked flustered. "Usagi-san you idi-", Misaki was cut short when he suddenly noticed a pain coming from his lower half. It was a sensation that he had become to know as a result from Usagi. He slowly reached his free hand downwards and placed it on crotch, where there was now a steadily hard and growing erection. The brunette's eyes went wide in his surprise.

"_Misaki __you __want __it __don't __you...?__"__,_ Usagi said hotly in the receiver. Misaki felt a shudder of anticipation.

"U-Usagi-san...", Misaki breathed.

"_I __want __to __hear __you __say __it...say __you __want __it,__Misaki__"__,_ the author said in a throaty voice.

Misaki found himself losing his strength of will at just the sound of the older man's voice.

"I-I want it, Usagi-san...I-I want you", Misaki said quietly.

"_Misaki, __take __off __your __clothes__"_ Usagi him, darkly.

Misaki placed his phone on speaker and placed it on the dressed. Then with shaky hands, he began to unbutton his sleeping shirt. His breath was beginning to quicken even more so than it was before. He finished undoing his shirt and slowly slid it off his shoulders, letting it hit the floor in a soft flop and then slid his sleeping pants off as well and place them on the floor as well. When he was finished, Misaki sat himself up back in bed, his breath still fast. His erection was fully hard and alert.

"_You're __so __cute,__Misaki__"_, Usagi said through the cell phone's speaker.

Misaki felt himself shiver in ecstasy.

"_Pinch __your __nipples, __Misaki...Their __already __hard __aren't __they?__"__, _the author said hotly.

Misaki tentatively reached one of his hands to his hard, sensitive nipple, and began twirling it around between his index and middle finger. An aroused moan escaped his mouth.

"_You __like __it __when __I __touch __you __there, __don't __you,__Misaki?__"_, Usagi said hotly.

"Nnnnnn... Ah...", Misaki moaned.

"_Now __touch __both __of __them, __Misaki__"_, Usagi said.

Misaki did as he was told and used his other hand to caress his other nipple, twirling and pinching it between his fingers just as he was doing to the other one.

"_Misaki...let __me __hear __you...I __want __to __hear __your __sounds__"_, Usagi said lustfully.

Misaki uttered an aroused moan.

"_Louder...Don't __hold __it __in...__"_, the older man said sexily.

"Nnnnn...Ah! Ooohh...Oh!", Misaki moaned louder. He hips involuntarily slightly jerked upwards.

There came a quiet rustling noise from the other end of the phone, causing the brunette to become slightly aware of something other than the lust he was feeling.

"Usagi-san?", Misaki asked in a small, embarrassed voice. He heard the older man utter a quiet grunt.

"_Misaki...I __just __took __off __my __clothes __too.__"_, the author said.

Misaki felt himself blush even more at just the thought of the older man's naked body, chiseled and with the perfect amount of muscle, but still very graceful. It made him feel that much more aroused.

"_Misaki...touch __yourself__"__,_Usagi said in a deep voice.

Misaki cast his eyes down to his still hard erection, feeling embarrassed just by looking at it. Thinking about it quickly, he noticed that he never did look at his own body that much, even though Usagi always gave it his full and undivided attention as many times as possible. With thoughts of the author in his head, Misaki could not help but picture Usagi's own heat, recalling every single detail of it. The way it felt inside of him when he was taken by Usagi, the heat he felt, the pleasure, the sweet pain. It was all he could think about. Another moan escaped from Misaki's lips.

"_Misaki...__"_, the older man cooed sexily.

With that, Misaki slowly reached one of his hands downwards and stoked the tip if his manhood. He let out a quick gasp at the sensation he felt at doing so. In his hand, his erection felt hot and hard in his grasp. It came as a surprise to him that his could feel like this. Misaki moaned again.

"_Let __me __touch __you. __I __want __to __touch __you __all __over,__Misaki__"_ Usagi said in a throaty voice. Misaki took the hint and cupped his heat in his hands, moving them in an up and down motion, causing him to feel the intense friction that was created. He let out a loud gasp of pleasure.

"_Faster,__Misaki__"_, Usagi said on the other end. Misaki did as he was told and ran his hands over his heat faster, pushing and pulling the skin up ans down as he did so. Without thinking, Misaki began raising his hips up and down, allowing him to thrust his erection into his hand. His moans of pleasure grew louder by the minute. He was reaching his limit. The only thing that could be heard through them was the sound of Usagi's lust filled voice, hotly whispering to him ever second. It was enough to drive Misaki crazy with pleasure. It was too much pleasure and he was becoming lost in it, not wanting to find his way back.

"Oh...Nnnnn...Ah! Ah!", Misaki cried.

"_You're __close, __Misaki. __I __can __tell__"__,_the older man said sexily.

"Oh! O-h god, Usagi-san...I-I'm going to come", Misaki breathed.

"_No, __not __yet.__"__,_Usagi seductively teased.

"Mmmmmm", Misaki moaned. He couldn't find any words to protest.

"_Say __you __want __me,__Misaki__"_, the voice said hotly through the other end.

"I-I want you now, U-Usagi-san", Misaki said breathlessly.

"_Oh? __How __bad?__"_, the older man asked.

"I-I need you now, Usagi-san", Misaki uttered in a small voice.

Misaki heard the author let out an aroused exhale from his end.

"_Oh __god, __Misaki...you're __so __good.__"_, the older man said lustfully.

Misaki felt as if his whole entire being was on fire. Lust and desire seemed to coat his entire being with passion. His body was flushed a pink color and he was slightly sweating with anticipation. His breath was shallow and quick.

"Usagi-san...p-please. Oh god...oh god...it feels as if it's about to burst", Misaki whimpered.

"_Then __come...let __me __hear __it. __Let __me __feel __it. __I __want __all __of __you, __Misaki...__"_, Usagi said passionately.

Misaki raised his hand in that same motion just as he was doing before, while his other free hand played with his nipple His incessant moans grew longer in length and passion.

"Usagi-san...I-Ah! Ah! Oh!", Misaki moaned loudly. He felt himself release in his own hand, coating it in a layer of his own thick ejaculation. Misaki let out a satisfied breath, breathing shallow and long, still in the midst of his own ecstasy. On the other end of the phone he heard the older man grunt in pleasure, signaling that he too had also climaxed. For a couple of minutes, the two just stayed on the phone, listening to the sounds of each others panting and breathing.

"_Oh, __Misaki...you're __amazing__"__, _the older man said sexily.

Misaki blushed at the comment thinking the same thing about Usagi. Even when he wasn't around, the author could still make Misaki feel like this.

"_You've __been __so __good __to __me. __I'll __be __sure __to __return __the __favor __on __our __anniversary __when __I __get __back__"_, the author said in a throaty voice.

"Ah...", was all Misaki could reply to the older man. He felt as if he were on some kind of aroused and lustful high after what they had just done.

Usagi chuckled through the other end of the phone.

"_I __love __you,__Misaki__"_, he cooed.

"I...love you too, Usagi-san", Misaki said, still breathing shallowly. He tuned his head to look at the clock on the wall and saw that it said five minutes past eleven.

"Usagi-san...you should go to sleep now. You have another meeting in the morning", Misaki said quietly.

There came an annoyed grunt from the older man.

"_Fine. __But __don't __hang __up. __Keep __your __phone __next __to __you __and __I'll __keep __mine __next __to __me __too.__Tonight __we'll __fall __asleep __listening __to __the __sounds __of __our __breathing__"__,_the author said, with a loving smile in his voice.

Misaki smiled to himself.

"That'd be...fine, Usagi-san", Misaki said lovingly. He placed the phone on his pillow and laid down facing it. Pulling the covers over him, he nestled further into his pillow.

"Good night, Usagi-san", Misaki said sleepily.

"_Good __night, __Misaki...I'll __see __you __soon__"_, the author said.

Misaki closed his eyes, listening to the soft sound of Usagi's breathing and drifted off into a peaceful sleep.


	18. Chapter 18: Early Mornings

"Usami-sensei! Rise and shine! It's time to get up and have a productive day!", Aikawa said enthusiastically, as she burst into Usagi's hotel room in her business attire. She took a few steps in and towards the lounge area and stopped dead in her tracks, her mouth slightly agape. Her eyes bulged in shock as she stood in the doorway looking at the sight that she had thought that she would never see. Usagi was dressed in his suit, drinking hot coffee and ready to go. Aikawa looked at the clock, consciously thinking she herself was late. But the clock said quarter to eight in the morning. After a while, the author looked up from his hot beverage and looked at Aikawa, a slightly annoyed look on his face.

"How long do you plan on staring at me?", Usagi asked, in a bored manner.

Aikawa continued to look him up and down, while also taking a glance at around her surroundings to make sure that this moment was not a dream. She almost felt like pinching herself. In a surprised and slightly shaky voice, she spoke.

"Usami-snesei! Y-you're up one time!", she said, shocked.

The author raised an eyebrow.

"So? What of it?", he asked, a quizzical look on his face.

"How? How are you even up! You're **horrible** in the morning!", Aikawa said, still very shocked.

"Well thank you for your praise", Usagi said sarcastically.

Aikawa shook her head frantically, trying to calm herself down from her morning shock. She put her hands on the side of her head, to stop the room from spinning. She really though that she was dreaming.

"It's just that you **never** get up on time, especially in the morning", Aikawa said.

She made her way over to him and began walking circles around him, as if she were some kink of stalking animal. She looked him and and down, examining him. When she came to face him, she stopped. She brought her face a little closer to his and poked him in the stomach.

"Are you sick or do you have some kind of evil plan?", she asked.

Using on of his hands, Usagi flicked her on the forehead.

"Ow! What was that for?", she asked angrily.

"I get up on time for the damn meeting and here you are looking at me like I've broken into a bank.", Usagi said, in an annoyed tone of voice

"It's your own damn fault you have such an unreliable reputation with me!", she retorted, rubbing her forehead.

"Well this time it's different.", he said taking another sip of his coffee. Aikawa walked over to the counter and pured herself a cup as well and began to sip it. Aikawa then raised her own eyebrow, a knowing expression in her face.

"Ah, that's right. It's you and Misaki-kun's anniversary.", she said taking another sip on her coffee.

Usagi nodded.

"Well, then, happy five year anniversary", Aikawa said, raising her mug in her hand, as if in a toast.

Usagi smiled and nodded his thanks.

"I want to hurry and get this damn work week over already. I promised Misaki that I would be home for our anniversary.

"Ah, I see", Aikawa said. She gave small laugh.

"Too bad everyday wasn't your anniversary. Then you get your damn work done everyday", she said loosely. She saw Usagi give a small annoyed look, which she smiled at. Aikawa glanced at her wrist watch and put her coffee mug in the sink.

"OK then! It's time to get to that meeting!", she said, determined.

Usagi placed his mug on the coffee table and walked over to the doorway, where Aikawa was now standing. Together, they walked out the suite and to the elevator. They took the elevator to the first floor and walked out of the building. Hurrying, Aikawa walked over to the driver;s side of the car and started the engine, while Usagi smoked a few puffs of his cigarette.

"Usami-sensei! Put that thing away and let's get moving! If we miss this meeting I swear me and Isaka-san will make you stay for an extra three days!" she said through the driver's side window. Usagi put out his cigarettes and placed it in a near by ash tray. He walked over to the passenger side door and got in and put on his seat belt.

In seconds, Aikawa was on the highway, driving as fast as the speed limit would let her, all the while telling Usagi not to be rude to anyone and threatening him with consequences in his did. After only five minutes, they pulled up to a publishing company complex. Aikawa drove to the parking garage and parked the car, and then pulled Usagi towards the direction of the elevator, reminding him of what things he need to discuss with the publishing company members and reminding herself that the others said they'd be there early. They took the elevator up the fifth seventh floor of the publishing company and walked down a long, marble floored hallway. Aikawa looked at her watch and sighed with relief.

"Usami-sensei! It's only five minutes to eight. We're on time! She quietly squealed in her excitement.

Usagi looked very bored and disinterested at everything. Aikawa turned to face and spoke, her voice full of the usual whimsical authority.

"Usami-sensei! You know what to do right? Put on that face of yours and got the job done!", she said briskly.

Usagi gave her an annoyed look and then sighed in his irritation. He took a deep breath in and another one out and then looked up, wearing one of his signature dazzling, yet friendly and approachable smiles he used at ever meeting and event he was forced to attend. He looked at Aikawa and nodded. Aikawa placed her hand on the door handle, ready to see that faces of the other people who were in the meeting. Through his fake smile, Usagi spoke.

"Let's get this over with", he said.

With that, Aikawa opened the door and let then both inside.

* * *

**A/N: OK, so this chapter seems a little boring huh? But this part, though seemingly drab will set off a chain of events that will play a key role in the plot! So keep on reading people!  
**

**For all those people who PM'ed me sorry for the late updates. I know I told you all that I have already written a lot of pages for the story and that I would upload them really, really fast, I'm going to be honest with you an tell you that I just got lazy. Not lazy as in I didn't feel like writing because the story is already finished and saved on my flash drive but lazy as in i couldn't think of any good titles for chapters :O  
**

**I told you all that I sucked at it already. :p  
**

**so I had to wait a while for my brainstorming to get better. But now I'm back in business! I'll be uploading maybe three chapters tonight! Please be sure to rate and comment! ^0^  
**


	19. Chapter 19: The Meeting

When Usagi and Aikawa walked in, all eyes turned in their direction. It was just as Aikawa said too. Everyone had arrived fifteen minutes early, except them of course. After all, Usagi was known for doing things at his own pace. He gave that convincing 'I actually really want to be here' smile to all every set of eyes that met his and nodded a greeting to those who seemed to expect it. All the women board members and employees blushed and stared at Usagi as he passed. They were practically swooning out of their chairs. One actually started fanning herself with her folder as he passed by. It was something he had grown very used to. Aikawa motioned for them to sit near the head of the table, where the president of Murakawa, Michio Murakawa himself had reserved a seat for them. Usagi sat in the seat next to him, and Aikawa sat on his right. Isaka then walked in the room, yawning in a bored and sleepy manner. It turns out that Aikawa and Usagi were not the only ones who were late. The author could not help but wonder who reprimands Isaka was he was late or did something wrong, like the way Aikawa did to him. He laughed to himself, already knowing that it was Asahina, Isaka's personal secretary and assistant. Isaka walked over to the table and sat across from Aikawa, still yawning. There was one seat that was still empty. Usagi groaned to himself.

_Don't __these __bastards __know __when __to __show __up __on __time? __The __longer __they __take __to __come , __the __longer __the __meeting __is, __which __means __the __longer __I __have __to __be __away __from __Misaki. __I __swear __that __if __I __miss __our __anniversary __date, __I __am __going __to __kill __someone_, Usagi thought to himself. He was thinking of ways he could exact his revenge if such a thing did take place when suddenly the door opened again. A man who looked to be in his early thirties. The stranger had stunning silver eyes and silky black hair that was sleeked back, which drew attention to his chiseled and handsome features on his face. Like with Usagi, the women seemed to be very attracted to the the man that had walked in. Their eyes followed him until he took the empty seat in front of Usagi. The man looked up at Usagi and smiled. Usagi of course was under obligation to smile back at him. The president stood and spoke in a clear voice.

"This meeting for Murakawa publishing will now be called to order", he said.

Everyone in the room began to open their folders, sifting through the information. Michio cleared his throat slightly and spoke up. People obediently turned their heads to give him their attention.

"Before we start, I would like to introduce you all to Murakawa's new CEO, Masayoshi Daichi**. **Please give him your utmost respect", he said, gesturing to the man sitting across from Usagi. He stood and smiled gently at the board members.

"It's an honor to work with all of you. I will try my best to live up to all the expectations that have been placed on me. I look forward to working with you all in the future. Please take care of me", Masayoshi said, bowing elegantly. Every woman in the room swooned for the second time that day. Masayoshi sat back down and brought his eyes to meet Usagi's. The author simply stared back, his gaze unwavering and smiled at him again. The president spoke, saying the meeting was now officially started.

Along with everyone else, Usagi opened his folder full of information and focused on finishing the meeting as soon as possible so that he could go back home to Misaki's side.


	20. Chapter 20: Stranger

The meeting to Usagi was pointless and boring. He had to try his hardest just to keep his eyes open. The author didn't really see any point to him attending. Most of the time, he was just sitting there, barely speaking, and getting looked at by the female employees, who were literally undressing him with their eyes. He really wanted to give all of them a death glare that would make them afraid to even cast a glance in his direction. But no. Instead he had to meet all their stares with that ever so attractive smile of his. Usagi looked at the clock on the wall and sighed to himself for what seemed to be the millionth time that day. The majority of the meeting consisted of conversation about sales and advertisement, all of which Aikawa and Isaka were in charge of, so he didn't have to answer. He could have gone home or at least come late and save himself the hassle. Nearly two hours into the meeting and he had not so much as spoken a word. With annoyance, he wondered what he was even doing here in the first place, besides getting sexually harassed by the eyes of the women in the room. He decided that he was going to make sure that he got Aikawa back for this one. While feigning his interest for the conservations that were taking place, Murakawa's eyes shifted to his, giving Usagi notice that he would be spoken to next. The author was filled with the slightest hope and anticipation that maybe he could give what information he needed to and finally _leave_. Usagi smiled slightly and nodded his acknowledgement. The president of the company spoke after the final statement from the other employee had been ended.

"Now Usami-san", Murakawa began.

"Will you be as kind as to inform us all on the concept of your newest book", he said, turning to face Usagi, who smiled in response.

"Certainly. It would be my pleasure", Usagi said, still smiling. All attention turned in his direction. As always, the women payed the closest attention.

"This time around, I wanted to try writing a novel in which would be more understanding to the readers' younger selves", Usagi said coolly. The author then heard a chair scoot in closer to his side of the table. Apparently Masayoshi had leaned in closer and placed his elbows on the table, looking subtly interested.

"That's a very interesting goal you have in your book.", Masayoshi said. "Can you elaborate on it a little?",he asked.

Usagi felt his eye twitch in slight annoyance. He was slightly taken aback. No one's ever asked him to explain his work like that. It was more the way he asked about it that really bothered the author. Not to mention that if he was asked to go over every little detail, then he would probably be there until morning.

_Since __when __does __anyone __in __this __meeting __ever __question __me __about __my __books __like __this? __They __always __just __go __along __with __what __I __want. It's going to sell either way dammit.__, _Usagi thought irritably. Though he was still feeling annoyed, Usagi answered in a clear and welcoming voice.

"What I meant was that when people read the book, I want them to feel as if they have been transported back in time towhen they themselves were in a similar situation or when they were younger. That way the book will be more appealing to the readers, as they will be able to relate to it on a personal level", Usagi said smiling coolly.

Masayoshi smiled and raised his eyebrow, meeting Usagi's eyes and still smiling.

"Thank you for explaining.",he said still smiling.

"It's no trouble. For some, it may be a difficult concept to understand. I just hope the readers will be able to feel that connection with the book", Usagi said, smiling back at him. He lightly laughed to himself, knowing that he had subtly insulted the CEO's comprehension of his book. Across the table beside Masayoshi, Isaka gave Usagi a warning look, understanding the insult that the author had given. Usagi smiled back in response. Surprisingly, Masayoshi did not respond in any way. His face remained cool and calm, an amused look in his eyes. He didn't seem to take his eyes off Usagi, even after his question had been answered. Usagi smirked in triumphant to himself. Next to him, Aikawa coughed nervously, signaling for him to let up. He turned his head to face her . She looked annoyed with him. Usagi simply shrugged his shoulder nonchalantly and brought his attention back to President Murakawa and smiled. The president smiled back and spoke again.

"Usami-san, now that you have told us what you're trying to accomplish in your novel, can you tell us what the book is about actually? We need to know what type of advertising methods and themes need to be used.", he said to Usagi, who nodded again and spoke.

"For my novel I focused on the aspect of love and hate", Usagi said.

People in the room nodded and made notations in their books and looked back up to him. They didn't seem to quite get it yet, so Usagi explained further.

"Ah, let me explain it from the book's point of view. It may be easier that way",Usagi said.

The president nodded.

"When starting a new marriage or a new life in another country how do you relinquish the past so that you may successfully begin a new without losing a sense of who you have become? What is the cost of leaving a country, a child, a marriage? What is the cost of not leaving? These are just some of the questions that will be the center of the book's making. In the story, For Annie andWill, who have left their marriages to be together, the future is fraught with the complications of starting over. Both have left pieces of themselves behind: For Annie, it is the husband and friend she has known since childhood; for Will,it is the five-year-old daughter he adores. And for the Korean-born Sungae, one of Annie's English-as-a-second-language students, it is a search for the words that will help her resolve the sorrows of her tragic past", Usagi explained. People around him began to nod in understanding, their eyes lighting up with interest. Usagi continued.

"As Sungae struggles with the new language and with her memories, her story begins to unravel in ways that will have consequences not only for Sungae, but for Annie and Will as well as their ex's. At its heart, this is a novel about the choices we make and the repercussions of those choices on ourselves and on others. As Sungae explains, "Duty is like an ancient tree which has survived many seasons. Love is only the blossom." In one way or another, success in their new lives depends on each character's ability to find their own balance between desire and obligation. Love will be a potential 'medicine' that may be able to right what has been wronged. That is the basis and plot for the book. The message and motifs should be clear to understand to those who read it.", Usagi finished. He looked up and saw that everyone in the room had gone quiet. Even the CEO and President Murakawa had gone silent with appreciation. Their eyes were opened wide in their awe and respect, they were feeling for Usagi. The author smiled to himself, knowing that he had sealed the deal. The president nodded and smiled deeply next to Usagi.

"My, Usami-san. Your work sounds amazing as always. I'm sure it'll be a bestseller as always", the president said, still smiling.

Mayayoshi looked over to the president and give him an inquiring look. The president took notice of this and turned his head slightly to look at him.

"Ah that's right Masayoshi-san. I never took the time to tell you about Usami-san here. Usami Akihiko has been our best selling author for over twelve years now. Several of his books have been turned into movies and have even won prestigious awards. He has also been nominated and won both the Kikukawa Prize and Eisner award for five years running. And also for three years he has won the National Literature Fine Arts Award.", Murakawa said, looking over at Usagi, his eyes full of admiration and deep respect. Masayoshi's shown with slight surprise for a moment, and then he smiled and looked over to Usagi and spoke.

"Well that is very, very impressive, Usami-san. Congratulations on both your past and present accomplishments. I'm sure there will be quite a few more in the future as well.", he said.

Usagi simply smiled and nodded.

"Yes,Usami-san is quite a gem here at Murakawa. I am very happy that his books are being published here. It is an honor to be associated with him a great deal", Murakawa said, smiling.

"Thank you. The pleasure is all mine", Usagi said smiling.

"Well then, I especially look forward to working with you Usami-san", Masayoshi said, smiling. There was a glint in his eyes that Usagi could not decipher so he simply ignored it.

"I look forward to getting your novel on the market as soon as possible", Murakawa said.

"The rough draft of the manuscript is halfway done. As soon as it's finishedIsaka-san and I will make any needed corrections to it and the process from there should be easy", Aikawa said.

"Not that we'll need to make any corrections, really", Isaka said, smiling lightly and casting a look at Usagi.

The other employees in the room murmured their agreements and compliments about Usagi. All he did was keep that same fake casual smile plastered on his face. Aikawa looked at him for a second, her eyes looking him over. She then turned her attention back on the meeting and began conversing witht he sales and advertisement teams, Murakawa explaining the budget that they would be using.

"Since all ofUsami-san's books always sell exceptionally well, there is no need to skimp on the budget like we do on other authors" ,Murakawa said. Usagi nodded. Just then Masayoshi spoke again, his voice as cool as ever.

"You sure put a lot of faith in Usami-san", he lightly joked.

"Well of course. He's been the number one selling author for over a decade", Isaka said.

"And most likely, it'll stay that way",he finished.

"I guess you're right", Masayoshi said, casting a glance in Usagi's direction.

"I think we need to further discuss the budget in depth", said a male employee across thet able. Usagi didn't even know his name, not to mention he was all the way at the other end of the long table. Usagi decided that he did not care and barely looked in that direction at all. He was getting so bored. The author didn't even know what to do with himself. Usagi glanced at the clock on the wall. It was quarter to one. Usagi smiled to himself, knowing that in the next fifteen minutes the meeting would be over and he could go home to Misaki and kiss and touch his soft, lithe body to his heart's content. It was true that he did like his work to a great extent but he loved Misaki more. He tuned out the conversations that were going on around him about the budget, advertising, and other work related things. The only thing that he could think about was being with Misaki. Usagi let his mind wander from work to love and for the last few minutes of the meeting he knew he would be content.


	21. Chapter 21: Stranger II

Unfortunately for Usagi, things did not go as planned. The meeting carried on for an extra half an hour. When one rolled around it took everything in him to stop himself from getting up and leaving in the middle of the meeting. All throughout it, he could see Aikawa keeping an eye on him, ready to tackle him if he tried to escape. The clock struck one thirty and the last of the conventions were finished up. He was done. Usagi could finally go home. Last night, he had already decided that he would skip the dinner party reserved for the workers at the hotel. His mind was now set on going home to Misaki to spend their anniversary together.

"This meeting for Murakawa publishing concerning Usami Akihiko's newest novel has now been adjourned.", the president said finally and closed his folder. While people began to pack up their bags, getting ready to leave, Usagi turned to Murakawa. Masayoshi was now standing next to him handing him important documents that needed to be looked over. Usagi smiled and gave a slight bow.

"Thank you for having me, President Murakawa", Usagi said politely. He turned to Masayoshi and nodded once. He smiled at Usagi in return.

"Will you be gracing us with your presence at the dinner party tomorrow night?", Masayoshi asked Usagi, staring at him intently.

Out of nowhere, Isaka appeared and placed his hand on Usagi's shoulder, smiling slyly.

"Usami-san will be sure to make an appearance at the party. He tells me he loves to take part in the gourmet food and mingle with the workers", Isaka said.

Murakawa turned to face Usagi, his eyes full of slight surprise.

"Is this true Usami-san? I don't mean to step out of my boundaries but it is indeed a very rare occasion that you attend any social events", he said, smiling slightly. He looked thoughtful for a moment and then spoke again. "But we would be delighted to have you. Especially the ladies", he added jokingly, glancing at a woman in the corner who was eying Usagi. The author gave a slight laugh and spoke.

"Well it is true that I love the parties you hold but I have a lot going on at the moment. Sadly I don't think that I will be able to make it that night, as I have some personal business to attend to", Usagi said coolly. He could feel the soft glare of Isaka next to him, who had now taken his hand off his shoulder.

Masayoshi looked over towards Usagi and smiled.

"Personal business you say? Could you by chance mean anything romantic?", Masayoshi asked, smiling coolly.

"Ah that's right, Usami-san", Murakawa interjected.

"You are very popular with the ladies. Whoever the woman is, she is very lucky", Murakawa said.

"Yes. A lucky woman indeed.", Masayoshi added. Usagi felt himself wince, detecting the emphasis that he put on the word 'woman'.

"Oh but then I guess you won't be joining us after all, Usami-san?, Murakawa asked, his gentle elderly face falling a bit in disappointment.

"No I'm afraid not", Usagi said, feigning the sound of regret and apology in his own voice.

"Ah I see, I see. It's alright.", Murakawa said, smiling. "Please enjoy your weekend then. Oh and I expect to be one of the first to get an autographed copy of your book", he said, smiling

"Of course", Usagi said, shaking the president's hand

"It's been a pleasure working with you", Masayoshi said, smiling, his hand reached out. Usagi cringed slightly to himself. He really didn't want to touch this man. Something about the way he looked at him and the way he said his name made the author feel uneasy. Nonetheless, he reached out his own hand and shook, Masayoshi's outreached one assuredly, smiling. The handshake lasted longer than expected and Masayoshi's hand lingered even after they had stopped shaking hands, almost as if he were feeling for something on his hand. Usagi pulled away and bowed his goodbye and walked towards the exit, where Aikawa was waiting for him. When they were all outside of the meeting room, Usagi could already feel the nagging that was going to come from Isaka. He was all business in these instances and he didn't like it when Usagi did his own thing apparently.

"What the hell was that about back there?", Isaka said, fairly annoyed.

"What do you mean?", Usagi asked, taking a cigarettes from his pocket and placing it between his lips.

"I mean, why would you refuse to go to the dinner party, you damn moron?", Isaka asked.

"Personal business", Usagi said coolly.

"Chibi-tan...", Isaka said in a low voice.

Usagi gave him a warning look of his own.

"Isaka-san. Maybe this time we could let it go. After all, it is Usami-sensei's and Misaki-kun's anniversary", Aikawa interjected.

Usagi raised an eyebrow.

"There is nothing wrong with having a private life. That has nothing to do with me", Isaka said. "But when it starts to interfere with your work, then something has to be done and then it's my business", Isaka said, glaring at Usagi, as they reached the elevator

Usagi pulled a lighter out of his pocket and lit his cigarette. They were now in the elevator, taking it down to the first floor of the building.

"Akihiko! Your work should come first!", Isaka said, glaring at Usagi.

"Misaki is more important", Usagi said coolly, still smoking.

"The little cutie is going to make you turn into a hermit", Isaka said, still angry.

"Speaking of cutie", Aikawa said sighing. "I wonder if Masayoshi-san has a girlfriend? He so handsome!", Aikawa squealed.

Usagi rolled his eyes. Aikawa noticed and pouted.

"What? Masayoshi-san is very handsome. I thought you would appreciate that, Usami-sensei", Aikawa said.

"Do you want me to throw you out this elevator shaft?", Usagi asked annoyed.

"Just because I'm gay, doesn't mean I'll fall for every man I see", Usagi said.

"Ah yes, that is true.", Isaka said rubbing his chin. "Akihiko is more of a lolita type", Isaka said teasingly, thinking of Misaki's cute, girl like face and slim body.

Usagi glared at Isaka, who merely smiled back in response.

"But I have to agree with Aikawa-san on this. Masayoshi is attractive. And if you have a relationship with him, it may be beneficial to us in the long run", Isaka said, jokingly. This time Aikawa was the one to speak up.

"Isaka-san! That's enough!", Aikawa said indignantly, looking at Isaka in anger.

"Yes, yes. It was only a joke. I know that Akihiko would never do anything to hurt our little Chibi-tan", Isaka said, still smiling mischievously. Aikawa was still eying him warily.

"Really, Isaka-san", she said putting a hand on her temple.

"What, do you expect me not to even look at other men? I like guys too you know.", he said.

"Oh really? I bet Asahina-san will be interested in hearing that. In fact let me call him. I have his number", Usagi said pulling out his phone and scrolling down to Asahina's contact information. Isaka's eyes widened.

"What? No way! Don't call him!", Isaka said.

Aikawa started laughing

"Why must you both turn against me?", Isaka said, slightly glaring at them both

"That's what you get for messing with Misaki-kun", Aikawa said. She and Usagi exchanged a glance of triumph. Isaka let out a sigh and placed his hands in his pockets.

"I just want to make sure that you don't screw up your career", Isaka said, perplexed.

"I won't. Just leave me in peace and let me work. It's none of your business", Usagi said.

Isaka glared at him again, ready to say something back. But the elevator reached the first floor and they all got out, slowly walking to their cars.

"Isaka-san are you going home", Aikawa asked.

"I have another meeting to go to at Murakawa back home. Some of us actually work", Isaka said, glancing at Usagi, who just ignored him.

Isaka took out his keys and pressed the locater button. His car horn beeped twice a few feet away. He steteched out his arms and yawned.

"Lucky for me the meeting is short. I can go to bed early and stay home tomorrow", Isaka said lazily. He walked over to his car and opened the door, letting himself in. Putting the car in reverse, he backed out of his parking space and drove in front of Usagi and Aikawa.

"Akihiko, get your damn work done.", he said.

"I will so stop bothering me", Usagi said coolly, taking another puff of his cigarette.

Isaka's window went up and he drove out of the parking garage and into the street.

Aikawa and Usagi began walking towards her car. They got in and shut the doors, quickly fastening their seat belts. Aikawa put the car in reverse and drove out of the parking garage, into the bright daylight. By the time they reached Usagi's hotel complex, it was already quarter past two. As soon as the car stopped and was parked in the street in front of its entrance, Usagi quickly got out and made his was towards the hotel elevator. Aikawa followed behind him, slightly jogging, her heels clicking noisily as to walked to keep up with him. Once they reached his hotel room, Usagi turned the key and flung the door open. He briskly walked into the bedroom, leaving Aikawa standing the doorway, looking tired and confused. After a few moments, Aikawa peeped her head in the room, curious. She let out a sigh, a small smile on her face. There in the large room, Usagi had thrown his large briefcase on the bed and was now throwing clothes into it, pants and shirts loosely hanging out of it, as if they were ready to fall any second. Aikawa sighed once again, slightly shaking her head in amazement. She cleared her throat and spoke.

"Usami-sensei. I know that you're in a hurry to get home but you can't leave tonight you know", Aikawa said.

"I need to get home by the day after tomorrow so I'm leaving now", Usagi replied, his back still turned

Aikawa's eyes widened in amazement

"Now? Are you serious? That's impossible!", Aikawa exclaimed.

"Why are you trying your hardest to discourage me?", Usagi asked, annoyed, now glancing in the woman's direction.

"I'm not! You know you can't do it! The airport here is still being repaired", Aikawa said.

"Then I'll take the train", Usagi said

"Trains for Tokyo aren't scheduled till Saturday", Aikawa said, rubbing her head in frustration.

_How __could __such __an __intellectual __be __so __damn __unreasonable?,_ Aikawa though to herself.

Usagi let out an annoyed sigh.

"I promised Misaki that I'd be home for our anniversary", Usagi said tuning to face Aikawa.

"Your anniversary is _on_ Saturday!", Aikawa said.

"I want to be home before that", Usagi said.

"What are you going to do? Walk to Tokyo? You have time, so relax.", Aikawa said, placing her hands on her hips.

Usagi grunted in an irritated manner and Aikawa rolled her eyes in response.

"You can leave the day after tomorrow...possibly. On Friday night", Aikawa said taking Usagi's other brief case and placing it on the bed next to the other one. She slowly started pulling clothes of the first one and began to fold and organize them. She smiled to herself, thinking of Misaki. She could hold her own when it came to keeping things in their place but she had to admit that Misaki was much neater and organized. Aikawa looked up at Usagi, a slight laugh on her lips, as she sighed in exasperation.

"Let me help you pack. I don't want you rushing at the last minute.", Aikawa said, checking the closet.

"When have I ever rushed?", Usagi asked coolly.

"Usami-sensei. The last time we went to a meeting out of the city, you left over eight hundred dollars worth of suits in the closet. You just left all your clothes!", Aikawa said, scolding him.

"Ah I do recall something of the sort", Usagi said as he took another cigarettes out of his pocket and lit it in his mouth. Aikawa walked over to him and flicked the cigarettes from his lips. It fell to the floor, not making a sound. Usagi gave her an annoyed look.

"Pack", she said.

"I thought you were going to do it for me. Isn't that somewhere in your job description?", Usagi said.

Aikawa looked towards the ceiling, acting as if she were thinking thoughtfully of something.

"Ah. Oh well then. I guess you'll be packing at the last minute again. It'd be a shame if you missed the train to Tokyo. We didn't bring our cars this time. With that I guess you'd still be able to make it back home by...I guess...", she paused for a moment and pulled out the train schedule out of her pocket "_Next_ Sunday", Aikawa finished giving the author a sly look of triumph, Usagi walked over to his bed and dumped all the clothes on the sheets. Aikawa smiled.

"That's right Usami-sensei. Pack properly", she said, still eying him.

Usagi turned to face her, still looking annoyed. Aikawa walked to over to the door and opened the door, ready to let herself out, but still stood in the hallway.

"Get out and let me pack", Usagi said, as he pushed Aikawa fully out of the door and closed it in her face.


	22. Chapter 22: Over the Phone

Misaki woke up on the couch, his face buried in the warm fur of Suzuki-san. He set up on the couch and yawned loudly, stretching his arms over his head. Misaki rubbed his eyes and looked around his surroundings, noticing now that he had fallen asleep with the television on for the third time that week. Usagi was still not home, he thought sadly. The young man caught himself and gave himself a gentle punch on the forehead, smiling to himself.

_Oh __yeah. __Usagi-san __won't __be __home __until __Saturday __morning. __What__ was__ I__ even __thinking?_, Misaki thought to himself. He recalled that all throughout the week, he had made dinner for two every night without even thinking. They would have leftovers for days. He got up from the couch and turned the television off. He let out another sigh. To him the days seemed to be so long without the older man around the concerning. Misaki was actually really hoping that he would come home early but pushed the thought out of his head, knowing that Usagi was working and that President of Murakawa himself had asked him to attend the meeting. Placing Suzuki under his arm, Misaki made his way up to his bedroom. He placed the large bear under the sheets with him and relaxed, waiting for Usagi to call. He still felt very tired but Misaki wanted to stay up to hear the sound of the older man's velvety voice. He was just felt so _lonely_. Misaki wanted to talk to Usagi but he dared not call him, in fear of interrupting his work. He picked up his cell phone and looked through the contacts, wanting to talk to someone. When Ijuuin phone number showed up, Misaki's hand stopped instantly, lingering on the call button, his eyes lingered on the number and he was very tempted to call it.

_What __am __I __even__ thinking? __How __can __I __call__ Kyou __behind __Usagi-san's __back?__ I __mean __Kyou__ is __working __too __this __week __so-__No!__No!__That's __not __the __point __here. __It __would __be __wrong __for __me __to __call __him, __especially __when __it __would __hurt __Usagi's __feelings. __And __that's __the __last __thing __I __want __to __do__...__ever._, Misaki thought. He shut his phone and placed it under his pillow. He was just about to fall asleep when his phone began to ring. Misaki quickly pulled it out and looked at the caller ID. A soft smile found its way onto Misaki's face. It was Usagi. He pressed the talk button and held it to his ear.

"Usagi-san?", Misaki said brightly.

"_Misaki, __it's __so __good __to __hear __your __voice__"_, the older man said.

"Yeah", Misaki answered back.

On the other end of the phone, Usagi sighed.

"What's the matter, Usagi-san?", Misaki asked, feeling a pang of worry for the author.

"_I __actually __wanted__ to __come __home __earlier __but __the __next __train __to __Tokyo __doesn't __leave __until __Saturday __afternoon.__"_, Usagi said in a low voice.

"Well then it can't be helped. I'll see you on Saturday then.", the brunette said.

"On our anniversary", Misaki added blushing.

"_I __look __forward __to __it.__ I __can't __wait __to __see __you, __Misaki__"_, Usagi said lovingly.

Misaki blushed.

"M-me too. I want to see you too, Usagi-san", Misaki said softly.

The younger man glanced at the clock on the bedside. It was a couple minutes past eight.

_If __only __Usagi-san __would__ be __this __punctual __with __his __work_, Misaki thought with a slight laugh.

"What time do you have to get up tomorrow?", Misaki asked, wanting to make sure the author went to sleep at a sensible hour.

"_I __don't __have __to __get __up __in __the __morning.__ I'm __just __waiting __for __the __train__ home. M__y __bags __are __already __packed__"_, Usagi said _._His voice became lower all of a sudden.

"_We__ can __talk __all __we __want __tonight. __Won't __that__ be __fun,__ Misaki?__"_, the older man asked seductively.

Misaki's face turned red, recalling the sex filled conversation they had had the night before.

"B-baka, Usagi! Stop thinking perverted things!", Misaki said.

"_Ah? __What's __this? __I __came __to __the __understanding __that __we __both __enjoyed __the __phone __sex__"_, the older man said.

"Usagi-san! Shut up!", Misaki said embarrassed.

"_Hmph. __Oh __well. __I'll __get __you __back__ for __it __on __Saturday.__"_, Usagi said lustfully into the phone.

"Wh-whatever", Misaki said, flustered.

And from there the conversation between the two of them began. They spent the rest of the night just talking about simple things, like what they did the day before and how they were getting along with other people they were around. But for Misaki he would have been happy just hearing the sound of Usagi's breathing. The older man sighed in contentment.

"_Misaki, __I __love __you__"_, Usagi said.

"I love you too, Usagi-san", Misaki said sincerely.

They were both happy with what they had and felt that they only needed to be with each other to make it through anything.


	23. Chapter 23: Time For Some Fun

Misaki opened his eyes to the bright sunlight that was streaming in through his bedroom window. Sitting up he rubbed his eyes, still adjusting his pupils to the daylight. Glancing over at the clock on his nightstand, Misaki saw that it was quarter to noon. He yanked the sheets off himself and stood up, stretching his shoulders and back, as if he were a cat. He pulled some clothes out his drawer and made his way to the bathroom. He took a quick shower and got dressed. After his shower, Misaki went back to his room to make his bed. While he was shaking out the sheets, his phone fell to the floor in soft thud. Placing the sheets back on the bed, he walked around to the other side to retrieve it. Picking it up, Misaki saw that there were forty three missed calls from his friend Todo.

_Todo __called __that __many __times __in __less __than...Thirty __minutes?! __Wow. __It __must __be __pretty__ important__, _Misaki thought as he went to his contacts and scrolled down to Todo's contact information and pressed the call button. On only the first ring, Todo picked up.

_"__Misaki! __Where __have __you __been? __I've __been __trying __to __reach __you for __**hours**__!__"_,Todo said.

_"__Uh...sleeping?__"__,__Misaki __answered __weakly._

_"__You __need __to __get__ here!__"_,Todo said,excited.

"Huh? Where?",Misaki asked confused.

_"__The __manga __convention __of __course! __You __of __all __people __should __know __about __it!__"_,Todo said.

Misaki went slightly stiff at the mention of it.

"I really don't know if I can make it actually", Misaki said.

_"__But __The __Kan __is __being __featured!__"_,Todo said with enthusiasm.

"Yeah...I know that", Misaki said scratching his head with the other hand.

_"__We __**live **__for __The __Kan, __Misaki! __We __really__ do! __And __Ijuu__in-sensei __will __be __there __in __the __flesh!__"_, Todo said.

Over the other end, Todo paused thoughtfully.

_"__It __won't __be __the __same __without __you, __Misaki__"_, Todo said quietly.

Misaki's eyes opened in surprise. He knew for a fact that Todo didn't like guys but he sounded really sincere still.

_"__I __mean __I __really __don't __think __that __I'd __have __as __much __fun __without __you __there __anyway.__"_,Todo said.

_Well...I __guess __it's __OK __isn't __it? __I __mean __I __won't __even __be __with __Kyou. __In __fact __I__ won't __even __see __him. __I'll __be __with __Todo __and __Usagi-san __trusts __him...more __or__ less__, _Misaki thought to himself_. _(In reality Usagi doesn't trust any man or woman with Misaki)

"Alright. I'm on my way then!",Misaki said excitedly.

_"__Whoo __Hoo! __Alright, __Misaki! __This __is __going __to __be __so __great! __Oh __my __god! __Your __camera! __You __have __to __bring __it! __Oh __and __a __bag! __Do__ you __know __how __much __free __stuff __we're __going __to __get?! __We'll make __out __like __bandits!__"_

Misaki smiled eagerly.

"I know! it's going to be awesome!", Misaki exclaimed, now in his over the top fan boy mode.

Over the other end of the phone, Misaki heard Todo scream in excitement.

_"__Misaki, __you __need __to __hurry! __Oh __god __their __giving __out __free __Kan __T-__shirts __signed!__"_, Todo said crazily excited., he screamed in his excitement again, talking about some other free give away. Misaki grabbed his ready to go bag with his train pass, ID, money, tokens, and manga still inside and threw a jacket over his shoulders.

"Well hey! Save some free stuff and fun for me too!", Misaki exclaimed smiling, as he let himself out of the apartment, running.

* * *

**A/N: Well Misaki seems to be excited now doesn't he? In fact he looks like he's going to have a lot of fun. But let hope he doesn't have too much fun now ;) **

**I really wanted to thank you all for all the PM's and views that I have been getting! I really means a lot to me! Keep on reading! The story is just getting good! Please rate and comment! See you all soon! ^_^  
**


	24. Chapter 24: I'll Be Home

Usagi lit another cigarette and paced around his hotel room for the tenth time for the afternoon. He was beginning to become restless and bored. But most of all, he missed Misaki. The older man wanted nothing more than to wrap his ams around the younger man's slim frame and inhale his natural sweet, soft scent. He scratched his head slightly in frustration, trying to calm his nerves. Just earlier today, Isaka had tried to ambush him in the hotel room, showing up at his room and trying to talk him into attending the reserved dinner party that he had already refused to go to. Usagi didn't even have to say a word to Isaka. As soon as he began talking about going to the dinner party, Usagi slammed the door in his face. It took nearly twenty minutes for Isaka's tantrum to be over. After more yelling and cursing through the door, Isaka left empty handed, defeated as usual. Usagi had already firmly decided that the only thing he would leave his room for was to go home to Misaki, not planning on coming back. Usagi let out another sigh and ran his fingers through his soft, silver hair, exhaling a puff of smoke as he did so. His eyes traveled to his packed bags near the entrance of the bedroom, seeming to call out to him. Finally the older man decided that he couldn't take it anymore. He had to get himself to Misaki. Now. Usagi walked over to his laptop that was on the coffee table, which was literally the only thing that he hadn't packed, and placed it in his lap. He opened it and quickly did a search for any means of transportation. Private or public, it didn't matter to him at this point. Usagi clicked his teeth in frustration, seeing that the airport in the area was still out of service. The train to Tokyo didn't leave till Saturday afternoon and Usagi didn't want to wait. He wanted to go home now. Even the buses turned out to be a failure. There were too many transfers along the way and too little running times. With something like that, he wouldn't be home till two weeks from now even if he slept at the bus stops. As he scrolled down more, he noticed an ad for a bullet train. Usagi smiled to himself seeing that it was a private, luxury train car rail that didn't run on a normal train schedule. He could reserve a time slot for anytime he wanted. There was a train that he could reserve for four the next morning. The older man groaned to himself, reiterating on the notion that he absolutely hated and dreaded getting up anytime before noon. But the vision of Misaki's emerald green eyes staring back at him, allowed him to make up his mind. Usagi picked up his cell phone and dialed the private train service.

"Hello, is this Hokkaido Bullet Transportation? Great. This is Usami Akihiko and I would like to reserve a private train that will take me into Tokyo by tomorrow as soon as possible.",Usagi said coolly.

He stopped for a few moments to listen to the information that was being given on the other end of the phone by the customer service representative.

"Yes, that's right a private train.",Usagi said.

He stopped and let the representative speak again.

"Oh thank you for your concern but I don't really mind the cost. It's very important I get to Tokyo tomorrow.",Usagi said into the phone.

The representative on the other end gave Usagi more information before wrapping it up.

"Ah yes. I'll see you tomorrow morning at four thirty...no make it three", Usagi said and hung up.

The older man stretched his arms and walked towards the bedroom. Once inside he did a sweep of the room, looking through the closets and drawers, making sure that he did not leave anything important in them. But lucky for him, Aikawa had made him pack his bags the day before, though she yelled at him when he said he didn't need to take home_ all_ his suits. Still, having everything packed meant that he had one less thing to worry about. He took his laptop to one of the rolling bags by his bedroom and slipped his laptop inside and zippered it. Aikawa would blow a gasket if he lost that. Usagi glanced at the clock and saw that it was half past twelve. Opening the door to the bedroom, Usagi let himself in and made his way over to the bed and sat on the edge. He wanted to call Misaki and check on him. It was a habit of his that he went into his room everytime he spoke with him. To Usagi, his conversations with Misaki were sacred and special. Something he didn't want anyone else to be a part of. And he wanted to be in some kind of personal space when he was talking to him. Even though it was still early, not even near eight in the evening, he wanted to hear Misaki's voice so badly at this point. He really couldn't wait to get home. Pulling the phone out of his pocket and opening it, Usagi was surprised to see that Misaki had already called. He dialed Misaki's number and let it ring. On the seventeenth ring, Usagi closed his phone, knowing that it would go to voicemail. Misaki did not seem like he was going to pick up his phone now. In defeat, Usagi decided that he would call Misaki again in an hour. Reaching under the hotel pillow, Usagi pulled out a book. It was one that Hiroki had given to him for his birthday last year and he decided that now would be a good time to read it. The book felt heavy and weighted in his hand, reasonably thick and voluminous for its size. It would be a good way to pass the time until he called Misaki again. Usagi made his way out of the room and towards the sitting area. He sat down in the chair and opened the book. His eyes began to skim over the lines of the book's pages. Even though his eyes were on the words, his mind kept traveling to thoughts of Misaki. He just hoped nothing happened to his younger lover. Usagi was glad that he booked such an early train. He would get home to Misaki as soon as he could.


	25. Chapter 25: Here at the Convention

As soon as Misaki got off the train at downtown Tokyo, he could see the mass array of thousands of people weaving through the streets towards the anime convention. Misaki was surprised at how large it was. He hadn't expected the event to be so large. Misaki walked towards the exit of the train station, where Todo had instructed him to wait. Misaki made his way to a nearby bench and was about to sit down when he felt a hand grab his arm, pulling him away from it.

"Wha!", Misaki exclaimed in surprise. He turned around to face Todo, who still had a grasp on his arm.

"Misaki! It's so good to see you here!", Todo said.

"Yeah. Even from the outside it looks awesome!", Misaki said excited.

Todo nodded enthusiastically.

"Yeah, I know. Do you know they reserved all of downtown for it?", Todo asked happily.

"Whoa. No way!", Misaki said, surprised.

"Oh yes way! And their saving the best for last!", Todo said.

"What's that?", Misaki asked, his voice going quieter for a moment.

"Aw, Misaki! Come on! Don't act like you don't know! The Kan of course! Ijuuin-sensei!", Todo said, beaming.

Misaki felt himself go stiff for a moment but then relaxed as he remembered what he told himself earlier.

_I __probably __won't __even __see __him. __Especially __in __this __huge __crowd_, Misaki thought, easing himself. He was becoming more and more excited about the convention every second.

"That's right! Holy cow! Are they giving away free stuff for that too?!", Misaki asked, his eyes bulging in excitement.

"Rumor has it they are!",Todo said.

"But that'll be one of the closing events",Todo finished.

Misaki felt his face sink in slight disappointment but then it brightened again.

"There is still lots of other stuff that we can do though!", Misaki said happily.

"Yeah! You're right!", Todo agreed.

Misaki grabbed Todo's arm and pulled him outside towards the entrance of the station. Afterwards he jogged towards the manga convention festival directional map, pulling Todo with him. When they reached the map, Misaki stopped and studied it throughly. His finger pointed to a star on it and stopped.

"Misaki what is it?",Todo asked looking slightly confused.

"Ahha! She's here!",Misaki said happily.

"Who? Who?", Todo asked behind him.

"Ichinose Erika! She's here! Oh god and she's signing books!", Misaki exclaimed happily. He placed his hand on his bag, glad that he had brought along all of the author's books so that she could sign them.

"Ichinose Erika?! Seriously?! Her manga isn't too bad! Not to mention she's one babe!", Todo said.

Todo looked thoughtful for a moment and then spoke again.

"But what about The Kan shirts! They might be sold out if we go see her!", Todo said, biting his nails, nervously.

Misaki took out a pen and paper and drew a rough draft of the map.

"Not to worry! If we go this route we'll pass by both of them and Chiharu Yoshikawa too!", Misaki exclaimed, as he pulled Todo down the busy, people filled streets.

"See this is why I need you around at times like this!", Todo said, grinning.

Misaki grinned back at him and the two were off, literally running towards the fun that awaited them.


	26. Chapter 26: Here at the Convention II

The manga festival was everything that Misaki could had hoped for and more. All throughout the day he and Todo took pictures with statues, ate food, and bought manga, all while taking advantage of every free thing the convention had to offer. There were so many things that were being given away that Todo took it upon himself to buy a large basket with wheels, so he could lug everything around for them. They had a blast. Misaki didn't even think he stopped smiling for a second. While he and Todo were resting on a bench, eating custard cones, Misaki pulled out his phone and examined the call history. Usagi still hadn't returned his call from earlier, which made him feel a little worried. He shrugged off the feeling, remembering that he had promised himself before to not be so much of a worrier. Deep down, Misaki knew that the older man was fine and he quickly gained his pep filled mood back in an instant. He hopped off the bench and stretched happily, letting the low sun bathe his skin in its warm light.

"Aren't you happy you came along, Misaki?",Todo asked smiling.

"Yeah! You bet! This is really great! Thanks for asking me to come!", Misaki said gratefully.

"I know you'd appreciate it!", Todo said laughing.

"Speaking of appreciation", Misaki said turning to look at Todo slyly.

"How do you like Chiharu Yoshikawa's work?", Misaki asked giggling slightly.

Todo nervously cleared his throat and looked around, smiling nervously.

"W-well you know. It was OK. I mean it's kinda girly for a guy like me. I can't understand why you read them...", Todo said smiling nervously.

"Todo", Misaki said narrowing his eyes mischievously.

"You started crying while you were reading it", Misaki said giggling again.

Todo blushed.

"N-noway! Imean there was just something in my eye!", Todo said defensively, still blushing.

"Both of them?", Misaki asked, raising an eyebrow.

Todo blushed again and hid his face in his hands.

"Let's Uh...keep this between us OK?",Todo asked.

Misaki winked and gave him a thumbs up, still laughing.

Todo took out one of Chiharu Yoshikawa's signed manga and hugged it closely to his chest. Noticing how Misaki was staring at him, a smile still on his face, he quickly stuffed it in his shoulder bag and stood.

"Where to next?", Misaki asked still excited.

Todo looked at the watch in his wrist and smiled brightly.

"Misaki! It's seven thirty! You know what that means!", Todo said happily.

"The Kan! The Kan! Let's go! Their setting up now so we can get good spots!", Misaki said, excited.

"Yeah! Their having a separate parade for Ijuuin-sensei and the manga! It's going to be great!", Todo said.

"Well then let's go!", Misaki said running in the direction of Ijuuin's event, laughing happily. Todo followed behind him.


	27. Chapter 27: Surprsie Meeting

**A/N: OK so hi again everyone! Miss me? I bet you did! Cause' this time, it actually has been a while since I was on here! Yes! I know! Sorry for the late uploads! I blame fanfiction. Everytime I upload a new odt (the recommended format) document for a new chapter of my story, everything is jumbled up! AGH! I annoys the hell out of me! **

**So then there I am for nearly half an hour, sometimes two hours for the chapters with more text trying to separate the words! I don't know what's going on! But I just decided to persevere and just do it the hard way! Your comments keep me strong! :)  
**

**Everytime I get a good comment, I just go to the computer with a cup of coffee and be like 'I'm going to upload some more chapters even if it kills me! ' LOL. I'm not allowed to drink coffee though! don't tell my dad.  
**

**Anyways enough chit chat! Here's chapter 27! More is on the way so enjoy! ^_^  
**

* * *

When they got to The Kan's featured event, the two young men just stood there in the street, gawking with their mouths opened and eyes full of stars. The stood like that for a few moments, gawking at the size of the event. Misaki had no idea that The Kan's featured event would have been so large. Misaki and Todo turned to face each other, still not exchanging any words.

"Misaki", Todo said.

"Todo", Misaki said.

They both felt like fainting from happiness.

"Is this heaven? I'm in heaven!", Todo said, jumping up and down slightly.

"You're right! We just died and went to heaven!", Misaki said in delight.

"Oh wow!", Todo said pointing to the sky.

Misaki turned his head upwards to where Todo was pointing. His eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets. There in the sky, was a Kan chef blimp, one of many that were now in the sky.

"It's The Kan! Only a bigger and better version!", Misaki said wide eyed.

They ran towards the crowded edge of the street, which was flooded with people. With Todo pushing past the crowd, leading Misaki by the arm, they were in front of the fun, with the best seats in the house. There were floats and blimps with The Kan characters on them. Misaki and Todo squealed in delight at every sight of them. They were really having fun. They stood for two hours, looking at the colorful and creative creations of art dedicated to the manga. People dressed up as the characters danced happily in the streets, while that band played the theme music with enthusiasm. Just when they two thought that things could not have gotten any better, Misaki and Todo screamed with excitement, their eyes nearly popping out of their sockets. Coming down the street, was a deluxe size The Kan float, one that was larger than the rest. The float was adorned in red and white ribbons with a huge Kan figure standing on it. In the back of it was a house where some people on the float were standing next to. Todo pointed them out as the new actors for The Kan anime. They both yelled in delight. Suddenly there was a screen of smoke that shot up from the flood of the float, hiding the float in its midst. When the smoke cleared, there was now a human figure standing in front of the float. Misaki's eyes bulged in surprise when he saw who it was. It was Ijuuin Kyou. He was waving and smiling at the crowd below him. People started cheering and screaming louder, trying to get pictures of the handsome mangaka,

"Oh wow! Ijuuin sensei is on The Kan float! I must be dreaming!", Todo said, happily.

He took out his camera and snapped fifteen pictures of the scene in front of them.

"I never would have expected this! How cool is this!", Misaki said as his took out his own camera and took a couple of shots. It was way better than anything he could have hoped for. Todo began yelling Ijuuin's name, calling out to him in happiness. Misaki laughed so hard he thought he would faint right there.

"Come on Misaki! You call his name too!", Todo said, pulling him closer to him.

Misaki laughed again and yelled as loud as he could.

"IJUUIN-SENSEI!", Misaki yelled loudly together with Todo. They continued yelling but did not get his attention, which was not surprising, seeing how thousands of people were yelling so much. Misaki glanced over at Todo, who looked a little disappointed and not catching the manga author's attention in some way. Misaki pulled out Todo's poster that he had made from scratch. It was very large and had Ijuuin's name written in large letters, with pictures of The Kan on it.

"Misaki! Don't take that out! It won't do any good anyway!", Todo said.

Misaki placed one end of the poster in Todo's hand and the other in his. He gestured for Todo to help him raise it in the air. The poster was bigger than the rest around them so they had a good chance to get some recognition. Once it was raised, Misaki sucked in an air of breath and yelled as loudly as he could.

"KYOUUUUUU!", Misaki yelled happily.

As he yelled the float was just about to come near them. He saw Ijuuin's head turn towards him. At first he looked surprised to see Misaki but then he smiled and waved. Todo looked at Misaki as I he were some kind if hero.

"Misaki! Do you know Ijuuin-sensei personally?", Todo asked wide eyed.

Misaki rubbed his head, laughing slightly.

"Uh kind of", Misaki said, smiling slightly.

All around them people were looking at Misaki in awe.

The float slowed to a sudden stop in front of Misaki and Todo. The two stared at each other confused. They saw Ijuuin say something to one of the security guards on the float. The security officer nodded quickly and stepped of the float, making his way towards Misaki and Todo. Using a key, he opened the gate and gestured for Misaki and Todo to step out.

"Uh Misaki? What's going on?", Todo asked, his eyes wide.

"I'm not sure", Misaki answered back.

The security guard smiled at them and led them outside the metal fence and locked is back securely.

"Ijuuin-san just asked if you would like to ride on the float with him.", the guard said.

"R-really?!", Misaki exclaimed.

Todo was in silence. He seemed to have lost all connection with reality. There was only the most shocked expression on his face. He was too happy for word.

"Of course we want to!", Misaki said, excited.

He turned to face Todo, still smiling.

"Todo are you up for it?", Misaki asked, already knowing the answer.

"You bet I'm in!", Todo said, coming to stand beside Misaki.

"Step this way then", the guard said, leading them towards the float. He helped both Misaki and Todo up the stairs of the float and then stepped up himself. People in the crown were yelling in surprise, their eyes filled with envy. As Misaki and Todo gained their footing, the float began to move down the street once again.

"I'm king of the world!", Todo said, laughing.

Misaki laughed at his friend's goofiness, feeling pretty giddy himself. His eyes met Ijuuin's and Misaki felt his smile brighten. The manga artist gestured for Misaki to come to where he was standing. Looking at Todo, Misaki gestured for him to follow him to where Ijuuin was standing. When Misaki was standing in front of him, Ijuuin placed a hand on his shoulder and smiled.

"I'm glad that you and your friend could make it, Misaki", Ijuuin said smiling.

Todo bowed.

"Thanks so much for inviting us on here! This is too amazing!", Todo said.

"Yeah this is really cool! I would have never thought that we'd get a chance to ride on The Kan float! And you're on it too!", Misaki beamed.

"Well as soon as I saw you standing there, I knew I had to invite my two biggest fans here up with me", Ijuuin replied.

"So considerate! Thank you so much Ijuuin-sensei!", Todo said bowing frantically.

"You're quite welcome both of you.", the manga author said.

He gestured towards the excited crowd below the moving float they were on.

"I'll definitely find a way to repay you for this one!", Misaki said.

"I'm sure that you will. Not that you need to. In the meantime, let's wave the people shall we?", Ijuuin said grinning at Misaki.


	28. Chapter 28: Time of Our Lives

**A/N: Well, originally this one chapter was actually two. I just though that separated they were just too short, so I combined them and made them one. I hope you guys enjoy it! ^_^**

* * *

When the parade was over, Ijuuin took Misaki and Todo to the convention center for his manga signing. He gave them both V.I.P passes, giving them access to everything in the large building. Because they did not want to bother the mangaka while he was working, Ijuuin allowed both of them to stay in the reserved private room of the building, which overlooked all of downtown Tokyo when they were finished looking around. They promised to return to the room in three hours when Ijuuin was done working and left him to his book signing. Needless to say, Ijuuin's manga convention was the best part of the entire day. Using their passes, they were able to go in any Kan event they wanted to, skipping all the lines. Todo filled his cart to the brim with Kan paraphernalia. They got T-shirts signed by the actors, the newest manga volumes of The Kan, Kan keychains, posters, limited edition art books, and more.

"I think we need another cart", Todo said, looking at the large cart that was completely full.

"I think you're right!", Misaki said, laughing.

He and Todo were about to walk towards a nearby bench when Misaki stopped in his tracks.

"Misaki,what'sup?",Todo asked.

Taking a flyer off the floor, Misaki spoke.

"Their showing an hour preview of the Kan anime! Ah and another one for the movie!", Misaki said.

"Noway!", Todo said, looking at the paper.

"Yeah! And it's for the V.I.P's too! We can totally go!", Misaki said.

"Let's go then! Last one there is a rotten egg!", Todo said running while pushing the cart, plowing through the crowds.

"Hey wait for me, Todo! That's cheating!", Misaki said happily running to catch up with Todo, smiling all the way.

* * *

Misaki and Todo enjoyed The Kan anime preview and the movie just as much as they thought they would. Since it was for V.I.P's, the actual actors were there and offered to autograph everything Misaki and Todo had. It was one of the most amazing times Misaki had in his life. After the anime showing was over, he and Todo made their way back to the private room that Ijuuin had reserved. They now had two carts that were filled with everything they had. Misaki thought that they must have visited every manga and anime booth in the whole entire festival.

"Man that was awesome!", Todo said.

"I know! I definitely won't forget this for as long as I live!",Misaki said.

"Who would?", Todo said as they walked down the long hallways towards the reserved room.

"I'm kinda sad it's over though", Todo said.

"Don't worry, Todo! There'll be another one next year! We can drive to it next time so we won't have to get carts! We can even get more stuff then!", Misaki said smiling.

"Yeah,you're right!", Todo said, as they showed their V.I.P cards to the guard standing in front of the door to let them in. When they walked in, they saw that Ijuuin was already sitting in the large armchair, drinking tea.

"Ah you two are back.", Ijuuin said looking up.

"Oh wow! I hope you didn't wait long on our account!", Misaki said worriedly.

"No, not at all. I just got here about half an hour ago. The signing lasted longer than expected", Ijuuin said stretching.

"Now that I'm done working, how about I take you both out to eat. There are alot of good restaurants in downtown Tokyo", Ijuuin said, standing.

"Really! You don't have to!", Misaki said, flustered.

"Yeah! You must be tired from working so hard! We wouldn't want to bother you or anything!", Todo protested.

"Or worse, you could get carpal tundral syndrome!", Misaki exclaimed looking frantic.

"Ahhh! Misaki! Don't say something like that! you could jinx him! What would his fans do if he couldn't write? What would _we _do?", Todo said.

"No! No! Sorry! Sorry! I take it back!", Misaki said.

Ijuuin laughed.

"It's fine. Really. You're both good company", Ijuuin said glancing at Misaki.

The brunette found himself blushing. He turned away to hide his embarrassment.

'W-well then, I guess it's OK. It's so nice of you to offer in the first place", Miskai said, looking up at the mangaka.

Misaki looked over at Todo who smile in delight.

"Alright then let's go", Ijuuin said picking up his coat.

He pulled out his cell phone to tell security and his manager that he would be going home on his own and opened the door for Misaki and Todo to get out. He closed the door behind them with a gentle click and they were gone.


	29. Chapter 29: The End To A Perfect Day

Ijuuin drove Misaki and Todo to a restaurant that was nearby, only a couple of blocks away from the convention center. Misaki quietly informed Todo on the way there that despite his attitude he was similar to Usagi in some ways when it came to spending money on extravagant things. All three of them sat in a booth and opened their menus. Upon seeing it, Misaki sighed in defeat slightly. Though the food was far less expensive than the restaurant that Ijuuin had taken him to before, it was still way more than Misaki would spend on food. The cheapest appetizer on the menu was 11701.50 yen (about $150). Misaki exchanged a look with Todo, who looked as stricken at the price as he did. Misaki and Todo decided that they would just order the cheapest items on the menu and call it a day. Ijuuin ordered beef stroganoff and brisket, with an aged bottle of wine to go with it. Misaki laughed to himself slightly, fully learning how much Ijuuin liked meat. Todo ordered the curry and Tai noodles platter, while Misaki ordered the lobster, alfredpo pasta. Everything was delicious as expected. For over an hour, Misaki and Todo made polite conversation with Ijuuin, talking about the manga festival and how much fun they had taking part in it. When Todo put the last bit of food in his mouth, he glanced at his watch and quietly gasped

"Wow! It's already midnight! I'm going to miss the last train and I have to get up for work in a couple of hours!", Todo exclaimed. He looked over at his cart filled with things he had gotten from the festival and put his head down in defeat.

"Maybe I overdid it a little", he said, scratching his head.

Ijuuin wiped his mouth and spoke.

"If you need to get home, I'll call you a cab", Ijuuin said.

"Thank you but I don't have any money to take a cab so far from home", Todo said.

"It's one of my personal cab services. They do work with Murakawa and transport the writers and editors all over the city. I can call you one and you'll be home in no time", Ijuuin said, looking at Todo.

"Thank you so much Ijuuin-sensei!", Todo said bowing.

Ijuuin nodded as he pulled out his phone to call the cab service. He told them the address of the restaurant and confirmed everything else. Placing his phone down, he turned to face the boys again.

"They'll be here in five minutes. Do you have everything?", he asked Todo.

"Ah yes! Thank you!", Todo said to Ijuuin.

He turned to Misaki and spoke.

"Hey Misaki give me your basket. I'll take it to my house for you so you don't have to lug it around. Just come get it tomorrow.", Todo said.

"Actually that's alright. Misaki and I live in the same direction. So I'll just give him a ride home", Ijuuin said.

Misaki turned to face Ijuuin, his eyes wide in surprise.

"Eh? Really?", Misaki asked.

"It's no trouble", Ijuuin said to Misaki, smiling now.

"Th-then I insist on taking Misaki's things with me too! You shouldn't have to worry about!", Todo exclaimed.

"O-OK then. Thanks Todo", Misaki said smiling.

"It's settled then", Ijuuin said, smiling. Just then his cell phone rang and the mangaka excused himself from the table, saying he'd be back momentarily. Todo pulled Misaki close to him and spoke in a hushed tone.

"You're going home with Ijuuin-sensei! You're so lucky!", he whispered excitedly in Misaki's ear.

"There are thousands of girls who wish they were in your position!", Todo said, smiling

"Todo, I'm a **guy**!", Misaki protested.

"Oh you know what I mean!", Todo said laughing. Misaki smiled himself. He was happy that he could spend more time with Ijuuin. After all they had so much fun on their last outing together. For a short moment, Misaki felt guilty. He knew that Usagi probably wouldn't like it if he knew that Ijuuin gave him a ride home but he didn't want to be rude his friend. Ijuuin looked like he really wanted to drive Misaki home, probably to get a chance to have a private, fun conversation between the two of them.

Misaki let out a small laugh and smiled at his friend. Ijuuin made his way back to the table and stood over Misaki. He faced Todo and spoke.

"Your cab is here. Do you need any help getting your things outside?", Ijuuin asked, smiling.

"Oh no! I couldn't ask that! Your hands are very important! You need them! What if you pull a muscle or something?", Todo said frantically.

Misaki felt a laugh running to the surface of his mouth and quickly slapped his hand over it to keep it in. Ijuuin smiled again.

"It's alright. Let me walk you to the cab", Ijuuin said, grabbing that handle of a cart and pushing it towards the exit.

"I'll see you later, Misaki", Todo said. He walked out the exit, pushing his cart with him.

Before going to the exit, Ijuuin turned and smiled at Misaki, causing him to blush.

"I'll be back in a bit, Misaki", Ijuuin said, smiling. He walked out the exit behind Todo and disappeared down the hall


	30. Chapter 30: A Night Together With You

**A/N: OK hey everyone! Here's chapter 30! The big 3-0! Yahoo! LOL. I gotta tell you all. I really had fun making this chapter! As much fun as I did when I wrote the chapter where Ijuuin and Misaki had lunch together. Oooo I remember all the yummy food I put in there *_***

**I have to warn you all though. This chapter is a little longer than the rest. Not too long though! But hey. The longer it is the better right? That's what I always say anyway :)  
**

**Anyway please enjoy everyone! ^_^  
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After only a few minutes, Ijuuin appeared in the restaurant doorway and made his way back over to the table, where Misaki was still seated. For the last five minutes the brunette was trying to figure out whether he should let Ijuuin drive him home or run to the train station to take the train home. As Ijuuin sat back down in his chair across from Misaki, he couldn't help but look up at the famous mangaka, feeling embarrassed. Ijuuin must have noticed that Misaki was looking at him because he looked up and smiled at the younger man. Misaki found himself smiling back, his shyness leaving him.

"Alone at last", Ijuuin said, sitting down, still smiling.

_That's __right. __Me __and __Kyou __are __friends. __I __don't __have __to __be __so __shy __around __him__ now_, Misaki thought happily. He looked Ijuuin up at Ijuuin and spoke.

"Kyou, thanks for letting me and Todo hang around you today! It made him really happy!", Misaki said smiling.

"I'm glad that I could help.", Ijuuin said.

He paused for a moment and spoke again.

"Hey, Misaki", Ijuuin said, taking another sip of his wine.

"Yeah?", Misaki asked.

"Were you on a date today?", Ijuuin asked, his voice quieter this time.

Misaki's eyes widened in surprise.

"What?! Of course not! I mean...Todo doesn't even like guys like that, so there's no way! And n-neither do I! Plus he's my friend!", Misaki said, coughing to regain his composure.

Ijuuin raised an eyebrow and then started laughing. Misaki felt his face go red in his embarrassment.

"Kyou! Stop teasing me!", Misaki said.

"I'm sorry. It's just too easy", Ijuuin said, smiling at Misaki.

The manga author stopped his laughing for a moment and stared at Misaki, an intent look in his eyes. He slid his hand across the table and lightly touched Misaki's cheek.

"Kyou?", Misaki said, feeling confused.

"I'm glad that you weren't on a date with him. Otherwise I might have been jealous.", Ijuuin said, still smiling slightly. He caressed Misaki's cheek once before pulling his hand away.

"Is-is that so?", Misaki said", Touching the place where Ijuuin had touched.

The mangaka smiled , a playful look in his eyes.

"Why of course Misaki. You're like my pet you know", Ijuuin said, grinning at Misaki.

"P-pet?", Misaki said indignantly.

"Yeah. My very adorable...baby deer. Yes that's it. ", Ijuuin said, taking another sip of his wine.

"A-a baby deer? Where did that come from?", Misaki said looking at Ijuuin.

"Hmmmm. Well you're shy, sweet, innocent...and...you're not afraid to confront anyone when you feel like you need to. Also you're pretty fast when it you're cornered and being hunted", Ijuuin said.

"Cornered? When have I ever been hunted anyway?", Misaki asked, tilting his head to one side, giving Ijuuin a peculiar look.

Ijuuin laughed slightly.

Misaki put both his elbows on the table and rested his hands on his cheeks, leaning in closer to Ijuuin.

"Really, Kyou. You have such an unconventional way of thinking", Misaki said looking up at him.

"Is it really?", Ijuuin said looking at Misaki.

"Who thinks of people by portraying them as animal?!", Misaki said, with a small laugh.

"I use animals because they are easier to understand than people.", Ijuuin said scratching his head.

"Hey, Misaki?", Ijuuin said.

"Yeah?", Misaki answered.

"What kind of animal am I?", Ijuuin said, smiling at Misaki.

"H-how should I know?", Misaki said, flustered.

"Oh Misaki. You sound like you have an animal perception of me.", Ijuuin said slyly.

"Uh...n-no I don't", Misaki said pressing his back into his chair.

"Come on Misaki. Tell me. What kind of animal do you think I am?", Ijuuin said.

"W-well...I...I guess...Ugh! Kyou! You're so weird!", Misaki said hiding his face in his hands in embarrassment.

"I thought so. Tell me., I won't get mad, no matter what animal it is", Kyou said.

"Really?", Misaki said, looking up again.

Ijuuin playfully placed his right hand over his chest.

"I promise", he said smiling brightly.

"Well if that's the case then I'd say you're a...a hippo?", Misaki said giggling.

Ijuuin's face dropped a little in astonishment.

"Are you serious?", Ijuuin asked.

Misaki laughed again.

"Misaki", Ijuuin said.

"Ha. Now you know what it's like to be teased for once", Misaki said, sticking his tongue out at Ijuuin childishly.

Ijuuin sighed and placed his face down on the table.

"When did you become so cunning?", Ijuuin mumbled.

"I learned from the best", Misaki said in triumphant. He patted Ijuuin's head and was surprised at how soft his hair felt.

"Wow Kyou, you have really nice hair. It's really soft", Misaki said and blushed right after he said it. The words slipped out of his mouth before he could stop himself.

Ijuuin raised his head slightly from the table.

"Really? I thought hippos had hard, brittle hair. As a hippopotamus it's really an honor for you to say that", Ijuuin said.

"Awe come on, Kyou. I was just kidding when I said that. You're definitely not a hippo OK?", Misaki said.

Ijuuin raised his head fully off the table and spoke.

"Then what? Are you going to tell me?", Ijuuin said brightly, smiling.

"Hey you weren't sad, you faker!", Misaki said.

"I'm the best remember?", Ijuuin said smiling.

"Maybe instead of a hippo, you're a snake", Misaki said.

"I might be. What do you think I am?", Ijuuin said looking at Misaki.

"Geez. You're not going to drop this are you?", Misaki said.

"I'm just really curious", Ijuuin said, as he twined his fingers together and placed them under his chin, still looking at Misaki.

Misaki sighed and smile. He placed his hand under his chin thinking, and looking thoughtful for a moment before he spoke and looked at Ijuuin.

"Oh! I know!", Misaki said.

Ijuuin leaned forward on the table more.

"I think you're a fox, Kyou!", Misaki said.

Ijuuin raised an eyebrow, wanting an explanation.

"A fox? Really? I never would have thought of it. Why is that, Misaki?", Ijuuin said.

Misaki looked away for a minute and scratched his head.

"N-no reason", Misaki said.

"Oh no you don't. You have a reason why you think I'm a fox and you know it. Come on. Tell Kyou the reason", he said smiling.

"Well I guess it's because...I always thought you were actually really graceful. From the first time I met you, probably before too. Um...I don't mean to sound creepy or anything...and I don't want you to think I'm weird either...but you may not know this but you're kind of...no you are really good looking...I mean there are like millions of girls who are in love with you and everywhere you go somewhere, like restaurants...girls and even guys are looking at you", Misaki said. He turned his head and with one subtly gestured to five waitresses who were looking in their direction, blushing, along with any other woman that could see him.

"And foxes are pretty...handsome you know. I mean their majestic I guess and their really intriguing...like you. Also you're intelligent and strong too. You're dedicated and hardworking like a fox too. I mean it looks like when you set your mind to something, like your work you get it done and put a lot of effort into it...I guess that's why The Kan is so popular. I really respect that you know...Ah! Oh and you're hair is really smooth and pretty!", Misaki finished, blushing.

Ijuuin did not say anything, but instead only looking at Misaki in surprise.

"You really think that of me?", Ijuuin asked.

"Um well...yeah. I said it before. You're like my role model. I really look up to you. I guess what I mean is when I look at you I...I see someone who I want to be in the future...", Misaki said.

"Misaki", Ijuuin said touched.

"I mean I know it's impossible. There's no way I could ever be like you. You're...uh...amazing I guess", Misaki said looking away. Ijuuin was still silent. He continued to stare at Misaki, causing the brunette to blush deeper.

"Oh jeez, Kyou! Why would you make me say that?! I mean...there are some things I didn't want you to know. God!", Misaki hid his face in embarrassment.

"You must think I'm really weird now! Sorry!", he said shaking his head from side to side, still hiding his face in his hands. He was surprised to feel two hands gently grip his hands and bring them away from his face. Ijuuin's face looked back at him, still having an awe struck look on it.

"Misaki...don't...don't apologize. I...it really means a lot me that you feel like that towards me...I mean...no one...not any of my other fans...my friends...not even anyone in my family...has ever said anything like that to me...I can barely believe it...I think _you're _the amazing one", Ijuuin said.

Misaki looked up, his face still flushed.

"R-really? You don't think I'm weird or anything?", Misaki asked.

Ijuuin shook his head.

"No. Not at all", he said, slowly letting go of Misaki's hands.

"Phew. That was close. For a minute, I thought you were going to tell me what a weirdo I was", Misaki said laughing slightly.

Ijuuin smiled.

"Now why would I do that? There's definitely something weirder than that", Ijuuin said smiling.

"And what's that?", Misaki asked.

"Someone who thinks of people as animals", Ijuuin said grinning and he and Misaki both burst out in laughter.

They wiped their eyes and looked at each other, amusingly. Kyou pulled his phone out of his pocket and examined the screen.

"Kyou? What is it?", Misaki asked.

"Hrnnn...It's twelve thirty. I was just thinking that it's getting late...", Ijuuin said.

"That's right, Kyou! I totally forgot! You need to get some rest. You must be tired and you have work tomorrow. Sorry! I didn't mean to keep you. If I run maybe I could catch a late train", Misaki said looking for his bag under the table.

"No it's not that. You must want to get home. It is very late after all. And Usami-sensei must be worried sick.", Ijuuin said.

"Oh actually Usagi-san is on a business trip. He won't be home until the day after tomorrow.", Misaki said.

"Really? How long has he been gone?", Ijuuin asked.

"He's been gone for five days already", Misaki said, stretching his arms.

"Hmmm", Ijuuin uttered, looking at Misaki.

"What?", Misaki said.

"I bet you miss him", Ijuuin said, raising his eyebrow.

"Do not!", Misaki said, blushing.

"Do to", Ijuuin said playfully.

"Kyou!", Misaki said, annoyed.

"Look it's not a crime. If you miss him, then you miss him and that's OK", Ijuuin said teasingly.

"You are really trying to start something with me aren't you?", Misaki said sighing.

"Of course. I love starting anything with you. It amuses me", Ijuuin said.

"Jeez", Misaki said rubbing his arm.

"But I have to admit that I am a little happy for Usami-sensei's absence", Ijuuin said.

"Oh? And why is that?", Misaki asked.

"Because it means that I get to spend more time with you", Ijuuin said.

"Yeah...", Misaki, looking at Ijuuin suspiciously.

"No really. It's fun spending time with you. And to be perfectly honest I know that I'd never get a chance to when Usami-sensei is around you", Ijuuin said.

"I work at Murakawa and so do you. We...we could start hanging out during our break times...I mean if we work on the same schedule that is", Misaki said.

Ijuuin smiled and continued.

"Misaki I don't know if you know this but...Usami-san...he...well I'm not one if his most favorite people", Ijuuin said.

"Th-that may be true", Misaki said.

"But I understand why he doesn't like me. Everytime I get the chance to, I spend as much time as I can with you and he doesn't like it. I know that.", Ijuuin said.

"It's cause' you're always making such weird jokes. I mean,...", Misaki paused and laughed slightly.

"On my last birthday, you kissed me on the cheek before you left for work. Usagi-san was going to call secret police on you, saying you were a child molester!", Misaki said, as he laughed again.

"Oh, so you're saying that you would let me molest you?", Ijuuin said.

Misaki playfully slapped Ijuuin's arm.

"See? That's exactly what I mean! People may not know it but...", Misaki leaned forward and whispered in Ijuuin's ear.

"Usagi-san is actually really sensitive you know", Misaki whispered.

"Sensitive? What part?", Ijuuin said.

"He is! Seriously! His feelings can get hurt over the smallest of things", Misaki said.

"I would have never thought of him as the sensitive type. He always looks so composed and put together in any situation.", Ijuuin said.

"Well you'd better believe it. Take it from me. I've been living with him for over five years", Misaki said.

"A very long five years", Misaki added.

"Yes a very long time", Ijuuin said.

"You said it", Misaki said.

"Do you enjoy living with him?", Ijuuin asked.

I guess...I mean Usagi-san has always provided me with everything I've ever needed. I remember this one time where he spent over a five thousand dollars on suits and cloths for me when he found out I got the job at Murakawa."

Misaki paused and laughed.

"When I told him to give me the receipt so I could take it all back, he said he lost it. But then he just threw it in the trash right in front of me", Misaki said.

"The only thing I do really is cook and clean. He is such a mess, so disorganized.", Misaki said.

Ijuuin looked embarrassed for a moment.

"I'm messy. Am I hopeless too then?", Ijuuin said, slightly embarrassed..

"No, Kyou...I mean I've seen your office and it is nowhere near to the mess that Usagi-san makes. I mean his clothes end up in the tub and I have to keep telling him that it's not the washing machine!", Misaki said.

Ijuuin laughed.

"He really can't do anything other than write novels. He can't cook for himself, does not know the meaning of the word 'clean', he barely knows when to go to sleep!", Misaki said laughing.

"I guess that's what makes him special", Misaki said.

"He's special because he has someone like you in his life", Ijuuin said.

"See there you go again...", Misaki said.

"What? Me?", Ijuuin said innocently.

Misaki laughed.

"Kyou you're too much!", Misaki said, smiling.

Ijuuin grinned in response.

"And someone else can't make you special!", Misaki said.

"If you say so", Ijuuin said.

"I mean it! Everyone is special in his or her own right!", Misaki said.

"Am I special then, Misaki", Ijuuin said, smiling playfully.

"What? Are you fishing for a compliment or something?", Misaki asked.

"Maybe...", Ijuuin said.

Misaki sighed again.

"Didn't you hear all the things I said about you a while ago? Of course you're special! Probably more so than a lot of other people! More than special really.", Misaki said.

"I'm glad you think that", Ijuuin said.

The mangaka's face turned to a more serious expression.

"...But am I special to you?", Ijuuin asked.

Misaki was taken aback by the question. He scratched his head, looking for an answer.

"Well yeah...I guess you are...No I mean you are...you're like one of my closest friends...or like another older brother I love...now anyway...last year I was practically in love with you...like a crazed fan boy...I didn't even know how to treat you like something other than a famous mangaka...It took me a while to act normal around you...but now we're friends...really good friends...you mean a lot to me...", Misaki said.

Misaki rubbed his neck and stretched.

"Have I stroked you ego enough?", Misaki said.

"You have actually and then some", Ijuuin said.

"Are you sure?", Misaki asked.

"Did you want to stroke something else?", Ijuuin said, raising an eyebrow.

"God you're awful", Misaki said laughing, causing Ijuuin to laugh as well.

Misaki glanced at his watch and saw that it was one in the morning.

"Wow it's really late isn't it?", Misaki said .

"Yes. You're right. I suppose I should take you home", Ijuuin said. He looked disappointed and lonely to Misaki. Ijuuin pulled his chair out to get out, but Misaki grabbed his sleeve, causing the mangaka to stay.

"Kyou...Um...We could stay longer. I mean...I'm not tired or anything and I don't have anything to do tomorrow. So if you're up for it...let's...stay out late tonight", Misaki said.

Ijuuin sat back down in his chair, looking at Misaki.

"Are you sure? I wouldn't want Usami-san to be upset with you", Ijuuin said.

"It's OK. Usagi-san's not home, so I won't get in trouble", Misaki said.

"So you only spend time with me when he's not around then. I guess that makes me the rebound guy...that stings a little", Ijuuin said, smiling.

"Kyou! You know that's not true! I spend time with you because I want to!", Misaki said indignantly.

"Really now...", Ijuuin said.

"Of course! Hmph! Wait till I start working full time at Murakawa! We'll be eating lunch and goofing around all the time!", Misaki, said challengingly.

"Oh...I look forward to it", Ijuuin said.

Just then a waitress came towards their table. She blushed as soon as her eyes landed on Ijuuin.

"Excuse me sir", she said still blushing.

"I'm, sorry but the restaurant is about to close so I'm afraid you and you're friend will have to leave", she said. Misaki could hear the disappointment in her voice. Looking around he, noticed that almost all the tables were empty. Only an elderly couple remained, and they were already gathering their belongings to leave.

"Oh yes of course. We'll leave right away. But is it possible that we could stay for another half an hour. It's just so comfortable in this setting.", Ijuuin said.

"Well I don't think that's possible. The staff has to start cleaning up soon", she said apologetically.

"Please? My friend and I have really enjoyed ourselves here tonight. A couple more minutes would do no harm", Ijuuin told her, winking.

She blushed deeply.

"A-alright then. I'll tell the staff", she said bowing. She turned and walked away. Misaki could still see her blush that was reaching from ear to ear.

"Kyou, you're such a lady killer". Misaki said lightly. He rolled his eyes.

"It's good in instances like this.", Kyou said, smiling.

"I don't think that's a skill normal people should have", Misaki mumbled.

"I could teach you", Ijuuin said.

"No thank you. I think it's dangerous for anyone to be _that_charming", Misaki said.

Ijuuin laughed and took another sip of his wine.

Misaki leaned back in his chair and put his hands behind his head.

"So now what? Neither of us is tired but we really don't have anywhere to go", Misaki said.

"There's a nice little caféthat's open late. We could go there", Ijuuin suggested.

"Really? I could go for some hot chocolate anytime!", Misaki said.

"Then it's decided. Let's go in a couple of minutes", Ijuuin said.

Misaki nodded.

"I just need to go up front and pay. I'll be back in a second.", Ijuuin said, standing.

"Ah! Hey why don't you let me pay for my half...or at least for a tenth of it", Misaki said.

"No. I'll pay. Like I said. I enjoy treating you when we're out together. So relax", Ijuuin said.

"OK. If you say so. But when I start working and making money, I'll treat you sometime!", Misaki said, smiling.

"Your company is a treat itself", Ijuuin said.

"Yeah right", Misaki said.

Ijuuin smiled and made his way over towards the booth to pay. When he was gone Misaki pulled out his phone and opened it. He still didn't have any calls from Usagi and he felt relieved at it. His phone was beginning to run out a batteries. Misaki groaned to himself wishing that he had brought his charger but then remembered that there was nowhere to plug it.

_Oh __yeah, __that's right. Usagi__-san's __not __home __yet. __He's __probably __sleeping __anyway. __I __can't __call __him_, Misaki thought sadly. The screen on his phone turned black and it shut off.

"Terrific...", Misaki grumbled.

_Hmmmm...Tomorrow's __me __and __Usagi-san's __anniversary. __I __hope __he __likes __my __gift. __He'll __be __home __Saturday...I really can't...wait to see him..._, Misaki thought.

Just then Ijuuin returned from the booth and sat down.

"Misaki since we're here, let's some try the new drink they have. It just came out. They said we could try some if we'd like", Ijuuin said.

"Kyou their closed", Misaki said.

"I pulled a few strings", Ijuuin said.

Misaki scratched his head.

"God it really is like there are two Usagi-sans", Misaki said.

A waiter walked over to their table and brought over a lavender colored drink.

"Would you like some? It's not alcoholic so you don't have to be worried", Ijuuin said, smiling.

"I don't know...it looks kind of expensive", Misaki said, examining the pure crystal colored glass that made up the bottle.

"I could be", Ijuuin said.

Misaki narrowed his eyes in suspicion. He was about to reach for his menu to see the price, but before he could Ijuuin picked it up and rested it in his lap.

"Misaki you don't have to worry about the price. I'll pay for it. I would like you to try it.", Ijuuin said.

Another waitress came over and placed a glass in front of Ijuuin.

"Misaki you're with me, so it's fine isn't it?", Ijuuin said.

Misaki smiled and glanced at the other waitress.

"Two glasses?", Misaki requested and he smiled again.

Ijuuin smiled and gestured for the waiter to place a glass in front of Misaki and pour him some of the beverage. The waiter poured the liquid in Misaki's glass and then took his leave, bowing before walking away. Misaki picked up his glass and examined is closely. The color was the most beautiful shade of purple that Misaki had ever seen.

"What is this Kyou?", Misaki asked, still looking at his glass with curiosity.

"It's wine made from Silene tomentosa", Ijuuin said.

"Silene tomentosa?", Misaki repeated.

"Yes. Also known as Campion", Ijuuin said.

"Is it a type of grape or something?", Misaki asked confused.

Ijuuin smiled.

"No. actually it's a type of flower from Gibraltar", Ijuuin said.

"I have no idea where that is.", Misaki said.

"A faraway place", Ijuuin replied.

"So then I'm guessing this is expensive then.", Misaki said.

"Well, so to speak. But I think you're worth it", Ijuuin said.

"The campion gives it the color and clear texture but it had apple blossoms and dandelions and carnations for the sweet taste", Ijuuin explained.

"Wow. I never knew that you could make wine from flowers", Misaki said.

"It's very interesting isn't it?". Ijuuin said.

Misaki nodded.

"Why this though? Do a lot of restaurants have this?", Misaki asked.

"Actually I had to have it made and delivered", Ijuuin said.

Misaki's eyes widened in surprise.

"Why?", Misaki asked.

"Well it's a little embarrassing but when I called you a couple of days ago and asked you out I already made a reservation for here, so I planned on letting you try some then. After you said you were busy I thought I'd just forget about it. When I saw you at the parade earlier I decided to take the chance and bring you here...with your friend too.", Ijuuin said.

"You mean you brought me all the way here just so I could try some wine?", Misaki asked, confused.

"No. I actually came to give you this", Ijuuin said, as he reached down into his bag to pull something out if it. When his hand reached the surface of the table, he had a paper bag in his hand. He handed to Misaki, who eyed it with curiosity.

"What is it?", Misaki asked.

"Open it and see", Ijuuin said smiling.

Misaki slowly pulled the paper bag down from the object and looked at the gift. His eyes widened in delight and surprise at the same time. In front of him now was what seemed to be a bouquet of flowers made from ice. Misaki recognized roses and lilies and some others but the rest seemed so foreign to him. He never saw any of the rest of them. They were exotic and beautiful at the same time. There was one of each. He couldn't take his eyes off of them.

"Those are flowers that I had permanently crystallized.", Ijuuin said.

"Kyou...", Misaki said, still amazed.

"Do you like it?", Ijuuin asked.

"It-it's beautiful. These flowers...where did they come from...I never seen some of them before", Misaki said.

"Well there's the Wax Begonias, Wax Begonias, Calendula, carnations, Chrysanthemum , corn flower, Dame's Rocket, day lily, English Daisy, apple blossom, bananna blossom, citrus blossom, elderberry blossom, Fuchsia, Gladiolus , Hibiscus, Hollyhock...I could go on", Ijuuin said and he smiled again.

"Can you?", Misaki asked.

"Really?", Ijuuin said.

Misaki nodded.

Ijuuin continued to say the names of the flowers in the bouquet, pointing to each as he did so. During this he pointed out Honeysuckle, impatiens, johnny jump up, lilac, marigold, nasturtiums, pansy, peony, Perrennial phlox, Pineapple guave, Primrose , Queen Anne's Lace, Geraniums snapdragon, Sunflower, woodruff, tulip, violet, orchid, the jade vine, chocolate cosmos, ghost orchard, Franklin Tree, Orchid in the Blue, Blue Bell Tunicate, passion flower, Adenium Maroon Star, night lily, Middlemist Red (Misaki's favorite), and so many more. Misaki couldn't even pronounce the names of some of them. From his school years, he knew that more than half of the flowers before him were one of a kind and very rare. There were so many colors and shapes to the flowers. Some of them had six different colored petals while some had the sweetest of aromas Misaki had ever smelled.

"Thank You", Misaki said. He felt the petal of one of the flowers with his finger.

"But why though?", Misaki asked.

"You said you liked flowers", Ijuuin said.

"You did all this because of that?", Misaki asked.

Ijuuin smiled at the question, as if it was something he did on a normal basis.

"Yes", Ijuuin said.

Miskai smiled.

"Now you sound like Usagi- ani", Misaki said, laughing slightly.

Misaki stopped laughing and smiled. The smile was gentle and full of bliss, a light shade of pink spreading across his cheeks.

"Thank you, Kyou. I mean...I'll cherish it...forever", Misaki said, blushing slightly.

Misaki blinked.

"Hey hasn't it been over thirty minutes. I mean we should have left a while ago", Misaki said.

"It has", Ijuuin said looking down at his watch.

"I wonder why no one told us to...", Misaki trailed off as he turned his head and saw a crowd of waiters and waitresses standing behind the large plants, hiding. When he looked at them, they hastily scrambled in all directions, trying to make themselves look busy, as if they had not been ease dropping.

"M-maybe now would be a good time to go", Misaki said, hiding his face behind the bouquet.

"You may be right", Ijuuin said, smiling.

"Let's go", Misaki said.

Ijuuin and Misaki gathered their bags and made their way towards the exit. Misaki could feel eyes burning into his back on the way out.

"Well that was embarrassing", Misaki said.

"It caught me off guard", Ijuuin said, taking his car keys out.

"I thought they said they'd be _working_!", Misaki said.

"We were much more entertaining", Ijuuin said, smiling.

Misaki raised an eyebrow.

When they reached the car, Ijuuin opened the door, allowing Misaki to enter, without having to put his flowers down. He walked around to the driver's side and got in himself. Starting the engine, he slowly backed out into the now empty street and drove for fifteen minutes, until they came to a small coffee and pastry shop, which was very quaint. As Misaki got out, he brought his flowers with him and followed Ijuuin inside. They took a table in the back of the shop and both ordered hot beverages. It was the perfect spot to have a nice chat with a friend. The two men made conversation for well over an hour and a half, talking and laughing with each other all throughout. It was something that Misaki himself had never experienced before. He felt so relaxed and at ease with Ijuuin. The only person who he could remember he felt that way about was Usagi and it startled him slightly that he could feel this way with anyone else. He felt as if he could talk to the man that was now sitting in front of him for hours. And that is exactly what he did.


	31. Chapter 31: Time To Wake Up

Usagi woke to the ringing of his cell phone alarm clock, three digital alarm clocks, three wind up alarm clocks, and the loud knocking that was coming from the outside of his hotel room door. The author groaned groggily and pulled the sheets over his head trying to block out the noise that seemed to be coming from every direction. The loud alarms and banging continued to fill the whole suite with its symphony of annoying sounds. Groaning again, Usagi grabbed his pillow from underneath his head and covered his face in it, nearly suffocating himself from the pressure that he was applying. He let out an irritated an aggrivated loud throaty scream and yanked the sheets off of himself. He swung his feet over the side of the bed and sat up. As he began to raise himself off the bed, his foot slipped out from underneath him on the sleek carpet. He landed face down on the carpet. Lying there, the sounds of the alarms sill rang all around him. He pushed himself off the floor and slowly stood up. He stood next to his bed and slammed his fist down on his cell phone, causing the sound coming from it to cease. The other alarms all around him continued to blare in his ears.

"Oh God. Just shut up", Usagi said groggily. He scooped up all of the alarms, three in each hand and slammed them against the wall, causing them to stop ringing. He dropped them and stomped down hard on them and then swept them under the bed with his foot. He let out another sigh and scratched his head in frustration. His eyes narrowed towards the door when he realized that the loud banging had continued to go on outside his hotel room. Like an angry spirit, Usagi made his way towards the hotel door and swung it open, making a loud bang that echoed from the door coming into contact with the wall. In front of Usagi stood a very nervous looking and fearful hotel attendant. The young man seemed to be frozen stiff in fear at the sight of Usagi (we all know how Usagi looks in the morning when he gets up without enough sleep now don't we? O_O'') Not breaking his angry and irritated stare, Usagi spoke.

"What the hell do you want so damn early in the morning?", Usagi asked angrily. When the man did not speak, Usagi narrowed his eyes further at him. In a nervous voice, the man spoke.

"Ah...W-well sir...I-I've come to wake you...",he said nervously.

Usagi angrily grunted in response, causing the man's nervousness to only increase.

"Y-you requested a wake up call for 2am, sir", the man said nervously.

Usagi let out another annoyed sigh.

"Oh...Goodbye then", Usagi said, slamming the door in the man's face. Needless to say the man felt very relieved that he was allowed to go.

Usagi yawned. Stretching his arms, he made his way into the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face. Raising his head to look at himself in the mirror, he clicked his teeth. He saw that he was very disheveled and rugged looking. Usagi quickly brushed his teeth and put on the clothes he had worn the day before. After he was done, he threw the clothes he was sleeping in into one of his briefcases and zippered it. He was relieved that Aikawa had made him pack his things days before, but he knew that he would still have to hurry if he wanted to make it to his private train on time. The train was scheduled to depart at three in the morning on the dot so that meant that he would have to be ready for the cab to pick him up by two thirty. He wouldn't even have time to make himself coffee. It was already two twenty five. His cell phone rang loudly, making Usagi wince at the noise. He picked the cell phone up, and pressed the talk button.

"What?", Usagi said, irritably.

_"Hello is this Usami-san? This is Kamui Taxi. We would like to inform you that your cab is waiting out front",_ a woman said into the phone.

"I'll be down in a minute", Usagi said, and hung up.

He walked into the bathroom to get another look of himself in the mirror. He had large, black bags under his eyes and his face was tired looking, sullen almost. Rubbing his chin with one hand, he let out a sigh of irritation directed at himself, feeling the stubble that was on his chin and cheeks. Usagi hated it when he grew hair on his face. It made him feel grimy and gruff. Running his hands through his hair in frustration, he walked out of the bathroom and shut the door behind him. He walked to the front door and grabbed both of his bags. Usagi took the elevator to the lobby floor and returned the room key card to the counter. He then made his way towards the exit and out into the chilly black night air. On the curb a parked car honked its horn as he walked and a man waved his hand from the driver's side window. Usagi walked over to the car, bags still in his hand. The man got out from his car and took one of Usagi's bags. He smiled and nodded politely.

"Hello. You must be Usami-san", he said putting the bag he was holding in the trunk. He took the other one from Usagi and placed it in there as well. The man walked over to the passenger side and opened the door letting Usagi enter, and closed it.

"It's only a ten minute drive to the Hokkaido Bullet train 'll make it to your train on time, I assure you", the driver said.

"I'd better", Usagi said, giving the man a dirty look. After that the man clammed up, which was fine by Usagi. It didn't look like there'd be any friendly conversation on this car ride.


	32. Chapter 32: In A Hurry

The cab driver couldn't drive Usagi to the train station fast enough. It seemed that the man wanted to get Usagi out of the car as soon as possible, which was understandable. All throughout the drive, Usagi was angrily glaring at the man, as if ordering him to go faster. The driver was going as fast as the speed limit would allow him to. There was not another car on the road and it was very quiet. Usagi glanced down at his watch and saw that it was ten minutes to three. He clicked his teeth and turned his head to the driver.

"Excuse me...", Usagi glanced at the driver's name tag.

"Yoshi-san...Would you pull over for just a moment? I wondering if you would assist me in looking at this map for a moment.", Usagi, said politely, smiling.

The driver was surprised at Usagi's sudden change in mannerisms towards him. He was now being very polite and kind. Without even thinking, the driver pulled to the side of the road.

"Ah...The map is in the trunk would you help me find it, please?", Usagi asked.

"Oh...Yes. Of course", the driver said.

He got out of the car with Usagi and walked around the car to the trunk to help the author in looking for the map. After rummaging through the cluttered trunk for a minute, Usagi turned to face the driver again.

"Oh, Yoshi-san. I'm terribly sorry. But I think the map in the car. I'm sorry I made you get out the car unnecessarily", Usagi said, apologetically.

The driver blinked.

"That's alright. Let me get it for you. It's in the passenger side?", the driver said

Usagi nodded. The drive then walked around to the passenger side door and opened it. Looking back at Usagi, he spoke.

"Where is it, Usami-san?", the driver asked peering at the empty seat.

"It's in the glove compartment", Usagi replied.

The driver nodded and sat down in the passenger seat, sifting through the cab's documents and contracts, looking for a trace of a map. He was looking so carefully that he did not notice that Usagi had walked around the car to the driver's side. Usagi opened the door and sat down. The driver didn't notice anything until he heard Usagi slam the driver's side door shut. The driver looked up surprised.

"U-Usami-san? What are you doing?", he asked.

"Nothing", Usagi said coolly, as he tested the acceleration pedal with his foot.

"Usami-san I'm afraid you're not authorized to-", the driver began but was cut off.

"It's fine", Usagi said, calmly.

"Sir maybe you should...", The driver paused, trying to think of something to say to other the man in the car with him down.

"W-we still haven't found the map yet", he said trying to distract Usagi.

Not turning his head to look at the driver, Usagi spoke

"Not to worry. I have the map right here", Usagi said pulling a map from his coat pocket. The driver's mouth dropped open in shock.

"Usami-san, let me-", the driver started but was once again cut off.

Usagi turned his head to meet the eyes of the driver next to him.

"Yoshi-san...You may want to put on your seatbelt", Usagi said.

"Excuse me, sir?", The driver said nervously.

Not speaking, Usagi put the car in high gear and pressed his toe in the gas pedal. The car surged forward. The driver's back pressed into the car seat and his eyes grew large. Usagi was driving fast. He could hear the loud whipping of the wind against the car. But he didn't care. All he knew was that the streets were empty and he needed to drive fast if he was going to catch that train on time. For the rest of the way he drove like a crazed maniac who had escaped from prison. He glance over at the driver, Yoshi, suddenly feeling annoyed that he was in the car with him.

_I'll have to give him a good tip_, Usagi thought, as he drove into the cold and black night_._


	33. Chapter 33: On My Way

After a speedy seven minute drive, Usagi pulled up to the bullet train station, where his train was to depart from. He pulled up to the entrance and parked the car on the curb. He glanced to his left and looked warily at the driver next to him once more, before getting out of the car and walking around it to the trunk to retrieve his bags. Usagi walked to the passenger side of the car, where the driver was still seated, frozen stiff in his seat, his eyes still large and wide. He opened the door and looked at the still man, who was still in a state of shock. Reaching into his wallet, Usagi pulled out 7868 yen ($100) and placed it in the man's jacket pocket. Without saying another word, Usagi closed the car door and walked towards the train station entrance, leaving the man sitting in the car alone.

Once inside the train station, Usagi made his way to the ticket station and showed his ticket to the attendant in the booth. When she saw him, she smiled, her cheeks growing red from the blush that was now spreading across her face. She punched his ticket and gave it back to him.

"The three O'clock train leaves in five minutes. Please take the escalator the east subway wing and board as quickly as you can.", she said, bowing. Usagi made walked towards the escalator and allowed it to carry him to towards the eastern wing. Behind him, he could hear at the ticket attendant talking with some other women.

"Oh my! Was that the author Usami Akihiko?", one asked.

"It was! It really was!", the other said.

"He's so handsome! I wish I was the one taking his order", another squealed laughing.

"I should have asked for an autograph!", the ticket attendant said.

The voices faded as the escalator took him down to the floor level. He mounted a moving side walk and allowed it to carry him the east side of the subway. Upon exiting it, he was now in an underground platform, where a silver bullet train was waiting up front. The conductor standing beside it waved to him, but Usagi did nothing in response, except make his way over to the train, where two other attendants took his bags and carried them to the cargo hold. The conductor walked over to Usagi and smiled, reaching his hand out for a handshake. Usagi sighed and shook the man's hand.

"You must be Usami-san. I'm Aguri. I'll be serving as the conductor for this train.", the conductor said.

"Usagi nodded and the conductor continued.

"This is the earliest train time that anyone has reserved for us in a long time. Your destination must be of great significance to you", the train conductor said, leading Usagi into the train. He led him into a sitting area of the of the train, where a woman with short, copper colored hair was waiting.

"This is Hatomi. She will be your attendant through the ride", Aguri said, gesturing towards the woman. She turned to Usagi and bowed.

"I'll be sure to see that all of your needs are met for your stay with us", she said, smiling at Usagi. He nodded in response. The author could already see that the woman was blushing. The conductor waved once and left the room. The attendant turned to face Usagi and smiled again.

"Will you be needing anything, Usami-san?", Hatomi asked, blushing.

"No.", Usagi said, blandly and turning his head. He made his way over to the armchair in front of the window and sat down. Glancing to the side, he saw that the attendant was still standing by the door.

"You can go now. I want to be alone", Usagi said, running his hand through his hair.

The attendant bowed once more and left the room, closing the door behind her in a quiet click. The train jerked backwards and then began moving forward. Over the intercom Usagi heard the loud voice of the conductor.

"_Attention __workers __and __passenger, __the __train __will __now __be __departing __for __Tokyo. __Please __be __sure __that __you __are __seated __in a __secure __location __and __if __you __are __moving __about __the __train __please __be __careful__"_, the conductor said. The train started to move, picking up speed as it went. Staring out the window, Usagi saw the walls of the subway disappear around him and the train departed into the black night of the early morning. He closed his eyes and rested his head on the chair. Sitting in the train car bedroom, Usagi felt a smile slowly spreading across his face, feeling himself overcome by a silent feeling of nostalgia. He let out a light chuckle, remembering the time he had taken Misaki to Sapporo. It was a random occurrence one his account actually. He thought back to the time that Takahiro, Misaki's brother and the person who he was in love with for fifteen years. Takahiro had called him on and told him that he would be taking Misaki back with him to Osaka to live with him and his wife. Usagi was heartbroken at the news. When Misaki called him a couple of days after, Usagi was shocked to find out that Misaki had also missed him. Though the younger man wouldn't admit it at the time, Usagi knew that he had been crying. Usagi just got up from what he was doing and drove to the train station where Misaki was. He literally kidnapped him, pulling him, running towards an overnight train destined for Hokkaido. Inside the train, Misaki said that the only thing he wanted was to not cause any trouble for him. Usagi remembered the feel of Misaki's small body in his arms, as he pulled him into an embrace, promising him that he would never give him to anyone, that he was his and his alone. His smile deepened, as he then remembered the night they spent in the train car together, making love until they both fell asleep in each other's arms. It was one of the most precious memories that he had and Usagi knew that he would hold onto it forever. Usagi relaxed in the chair more, allowing his body to slump against the comfortable fabric. Listening to the monotonous sound of the train moving along the tracks, every now and again gently twisting and turning, Usagi found himself slowly falling to sleep.

_Misaki...I __can't __wait __to __see __you. __I'm __coming __home, __Misaki...,_ Usagi thought silently. He fell into a relaxed sleep, with thoughts of Misaki in his head.


	34. Chapter 34: Troubled

Misaki and Ijuuin sat in the small café drinking hot chocolate and making small talk to pass the time and enjoying each other's company. In most situations most of the conversation topics would be boring and bland in Misaki's point of view but when he was talking with Ijuuin, there seemed to be a special spark to the boring things that they were talking about. But Misaki was not bored. In fact he was having one of the most relaxing and fun times he had experienced in while. He found it very enjoyable that he was having a fun conversation with a man that didn't involve anything more than a wholesome talk between friends. Ijuuin definitely wouldn't press him to have sex or randomly attack him, trying to take of his clothes. Misaki silently laughed to himself, his mind wandering to the sexual antics of Usagi. But he had to admit to himself that even though he protested on a regular basis against the older man's sexual advances, he did like it. Misaki now found so much warmth and comfort in Usagi's large hands, his touch, his voice. He didn't think that he could really live without it, not for one day, but now here he was drinking hot chocolate and tea with Ijuuin, who was now one of his closest friends. Yes, Misaki did feel a small twinge of guilt at the fact that he was on what most people would consider to be an intimate date with Ijuuin, but the brunette couldn't leave the mangaka alone. For some reason, Ijuuin looked as though he didn't want to be alone. Since earlier today, as the day went on, he noticed it more and more, but didn't say anything. To Misaki he just looked so...lonely. And if there's one thing that Misaki knew about it was loneliness. He shivered, imagining how things would be if he didn't have Usagi. Misaki knew that everyone needed someone, and right now Ijuuin looked like he needed a friend. Over the years, Misaki had gotten good at reading people, despite the way they looked and acted around others. The cool smile that Ijuuin was wearing as he talked to him was so much like the one Usagi had whenever he had something serious on his mind. Misaki felt a slight twinge of sadness that Ijuuin felt that he needed to hide anything from him. He knew that Ijuuin had just recently become his friend, but it was still a little painful that he had not opened up to him. One thing that Usagi had taught him is that a person doesn't have to put up a false pretense or any kind of front so that others wouldn't feel uncomfortable around them. Misaki felt that it was his duty a friend to find out what was wrong in Ijuuin's life and try to help. Ijuuin was laughing slightly about something Misaki had just said about his writing style. In a small voice, he spoke across the table to Ijuuin.

"U-um hey Kyou?", Misaki asked, rubbing his neck.

"Yes?", Ijuuin asked looked up at Misaki.

"W-well I-I was wondering...um...", Misaki started but trailed off.

"Misaki, I thought we were friends now", Ijuuin said.

"We are!", Misaki said, earnestly.

"Then why don't you just tell me what's on your mind? There's no need to feel so nervous you know", Ijuuin said smiling.

"It's not what's on my mind that I'm thinking about", Misaki said.

Ijuuin raised an eyebrow.

"It's about what's on yours", Misaki said, looking up at Ijuuin.

"Misaki, what do you mean?", Ijuuin asked, surprised.

"Well I don't want to upset you or anything but...if there was anything going on you'd tell me right?", Misaki asked.

Ijuuin hesitated slightly before answering.

"Of course Misaki. You and I are friends.", Ijuuin said.

His face grew slightly serious but then bounced back to its usual relaxed state.

"But I could be more than a friend if you want me to", Ijuuin said, playfully.

Misaki shook his head.

"Kyou, I'm serious", Misaki said.

Ijuuin paused for a moment before speaking.

"Misaki...There's nothing going on with me", Ijuuin said in a low voice.

Misaki sighed.

"Kyou I...I'm just worried about you. I mean for some reason it feels like something's happened you", Misaki said.

"There isn't", Ijuuin said, pushing a hand through his hair. His voice sounded stiff and forced to Misaki.

"Kyou...I-I know that we haven't been what you call friends for long but...if there's something bothering you...I mean you...you can tell me. It might not help the situation...but I...maybe it would help you feel better", Misaki said.

"Misaki, I'm OK", Ijuuin said scratching his head.

"I really don't think so", Misaki said, quietly.

"Misaki", Ijuuin said. The brunette thought he heard a slight twinge of frustration in the mangaka's voice.

Misaki looked up once again and spoke.

"I mean Kyou...you look...sad", Misaki said.

Ijuuin looked surprised at the statement.

"Really? Do I?", Ijuuin asked.

"Well, yeah", Misaki said looking at Ijuuin.

"I feel fine. But thank you for your concern", Ijuuin said, smiling.

"Kyou, why do you do that?", Misaki asked, making his eyes meet Ijuuin's.

"Do what?", Ijuuin asked, breaking his eye contact with Misaki.

"You...Sort of joke your way out of serious situations...like you're playing them off with that cool smile of yours", Misaki said.

"I'm fine", Ijuuin said. Misaki could hear the change in tone of Ijuuin's voice. The coolness in his voice seemed to be forced and artificial. Misaki knew that he would not have been able to detect it before. But he could now.

"I don't know if... You think we're really friends or not. But I would like to. I mean...I think we're good friends now...we have such a good time together and have fun. And when you're not happy it makes me feel a little...sad.

Ijuuin tilted his head and smiled.

"I'm not sad at all. Especially with such nice company", Ijuuin said, still smiling.

"Kyou...Tell me what's wrong", Misaki said, softly.

Ijuuin's smile turned to a more strained one. He looked away from Misaki and took a sip of his tea.

"If you can't tell me...Then please tell someone who you can talk to.", Misaki said, sincerely.

Ijuuin still was not looking at Misaki. He was looking off into space, avoiding any eye contact. Though he knew that Ijuuin was growing more and more irritated by the minute, Misaki spoke again.

"Just... Stop pretending everything's alright when it's not. You can talk to someone if you need to-", Misaki started but was cut off Ijuuin slamming his hand down on the table between the two of them.

"I said I'm fine!", Ijuuin said loudly, startling Misaki.

"Kyou...", Misaki said quietly.

" Please stop telling me how I'm feeling, Misaki.", Ijuuin said darkly, still glaring at Misaki.

" I was just-", Misaki started but was cut off by Ijuuin speaking again.

"I told you I'm fine, so please just drop it!", Ijuuin yelled across the table. Misaki felt relieved that there was no one in the café with them to witness the scene. He was surprised. Misaki would have never imagined that Ijuuin would have yelled at him, or anyone for that matter. Now he knew that there was something going on with Ijuuin. He wanted to ask if there was anything he could do to help but decided against it. Misaki felt slightly shaken at the outburst from Ijuuin. He knew that he had been asking for it when he insisted on knowing what was on the mangaka's mind but still. Misaki found himself feeling actually hurt and sad. Ijuuin was someone Misaki looked up to very much; he was more than an idol to him now. Misaki considered him to be a brother.

Ijuuin leaned back in his chair and turned his head away again. He ran his hands through his hair roughly in frustration. There was no trace of any kind of smile on his face, only a serious and pensive expression on his face. Misaki turned his face towards the floor and fumbled for his bag underneath the table. He placed his bag on his lap and then swung the strap over his shoulder and stood, his hands still shaking slightly. His movement caught the attention of Ijuuin. He turned his head to face a now nervously standing Misaki. His eyes widened in surprise.

"Misaki?", Ijuuin asked.

He turned in his seat to fully face the standing boy.

"Kyou...Ijuuin-sensei...I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...make you angry...", Misaki said sadly, he looked away towards the door.

"Are you leaving?", Ijuuin asked.

Misaki nodded silently.

"Misaki...I-", Ijuuin started.

"It-it's getting late anyway...I-I didn't mean to keep you out late anyway", Misaki said quietly.

"You don't have to leave", Ijuuin said.

"I-I think I should", Misaki said, looking away again.

Ijuuin's face turned sad.

"You can stay, Misaki", Ijuuin said.

Misaki shook his head.

"There are no more trains running. How will you get home?",Ijuuin said worriedly.

Misaki shook his head again.

"I-I'll leave...I mean...I can walk...Or catch a cab", Misaki said, pulling his jacket over his shoulders.

"Misaki", Ijuuin said, more earnestly this time.

"G-Goodnight, Ijuuin-sensei", Misaki said bowing. He looked up and spoke once more.

"I-I'm sorry that I bothered you", Misaki said. He turned and walked towards the exit, not looking back at Ijuuin. He turned a corner and walked outside into the cold blackness of the night like morning.

_Well __I'm __really __in __it __this __time. __How __**am **__I__supposed __to __get __home__a nyway?_, Misaki thought, sighing.

Misaki only walked a couple of feet before he noticed the sound of light foots trailing behind him. Turning his head, he saw Ijuuin standing behind him with his hands in his pants pockets. He was wearing a sullen expression on his normally carefree and cool face. The mangaka took a few more steps towards Misaki so that he was standing directly in front of him. Ijuuin lightly bowed to Misaki.

"I-Ijunin sensei?", Misaki asked surprised.

Ijuuin looked back up towards Misaki, letting his eyes meet his.

"I'm sorry, Misaki.", Ijuuin said, sincerely.

Misaki did not answer, but instead looked down at the ground, feeling embarrassed for some reason.

"I didn't mean to raise my voice at you", Ijuuin said.

He paused and let a heavy sigh escape his lips.

"I...You were right when you said there was something going on with me", Ijuuin said.

Misaki looked up from the ground to see Ijuuin with a very troubled expression on his face.

"I-I was?", Misaki asked, skeptically.

Ijuuin nodded solemnly.

"Would it be alright if we talk for while? I know it is very late...but I want to straighten things out with you", Ijuuin said.

"OK", Misaki said.

"But let's not talk here.", Ijuuin said.

Misaki nodded.

"Where do you want to talk then?", Misaki asked.

"My apartment's not too far from here. Only about a fifteen minute drive. We can talk there", Ijuuin said.

"Y-your apartment?", Misaki asked.

"Is that alright?", Ijuuin asked.

He looked off into space.

"If you don't want to...I can take you home.", Ijuuin said.

Misaki felt another twinge of sadness looking at Ijuuin's sad face. He didn't want to leave him alone.

"N-no it's OK. Let's go to your apartment", Misaki said.

Ijuuin said nothing. He led Misaki to his car and opened the door for Misaki to get in. When they were both in the car, Ijuuin started the car and drove off into the night.


	35. Chapter 35: The Real Ijuuin

Ijuuin and Misaki sat in the car in complete silence, the only sound coming from the engine of the car as it drove on the pavement. After a silent car ride of about twenty minutes, they pulled up to a high rise apartment complex. Misaki's eyes went wide when he saw it. The apartment building looked well-kept and maintained, very extravagant, much like Usagi's own condominium. Ijuuin drove into the parking garage and parked the car in his space. He got out and walked around Misaki's side to open the door for him to get out. Misaki got out and followed Ijuuin to the elevator, where they took it up to the fourth floor. They turned a corner and walked down the carpeted hallway to a room door with the number 463 on it in golden numbers. Ijuuin looked at Misaki once more, before opening the door and gesturing Misaki to go inside.

"Sorry for the intrusion", Misaki mumbled quietly before stepping into the apartment with Ijuuin closing the door behind him. They both stood in the hallway of the condo facing each other, neither of them saying anything. Ijuuin was the one to break the silence.

"Misaki, are you thirsty?", he asked not making eye contact.

Misaki wanted to point out that they had just come from a cafe, drinking tea and hot chocolate, so there was no way that he's be thirsty after only a short car ride. But instead Misaki simply shook his head and followed Ijuuin into the living room. Looking around, Misaki couldn't help but notice how spacious and tidy the condo was. It reminded him a lot of the one he and Usagi shared together.

"Let me hang your coat up", Ijuuin said, holding his hand out.

Misaki took off his jacket and handed it to Ijuuin, who disappeared down the entrance hallway where they had just come from. Misaki felt suddenly felt very awkward standing there in the middle of the living room, with his arms hanging limply from his side. Ijuuin returned a short while later, staring at Misaki as he entered the room. He walked over towards the couch and gestured for Misaki to sit as well. Misaki stiffly made his way over towards the full length couch where Ijuuin was sitting and sat on the armchair opposite from him. Ijuuin looked up at Misaki and spoke.

"Do you hate being around me, Misaki?", Ijuuin asked in a low voice.

"N-no! Ijuuin-sensei I was just trying to give you space.", Misaki said.

"Why are you calling me such a formal name again?", Ijuuin asked.

"I...I'm not sure.", Misaki said.

"I see", Ijuuin said.

"I mean...I just don't know if I have the right to call you by your given name...anymore", Misaki said, in a small voice.

Ijuuin rubbed his chin, as if in deep thought.

"I'm sorry if I made you feel upset, Misaki", Ijuuin said, apologetically.

"N-no. You didn't do anything wrong...I'm sorry if I made you mad.", Misaki said.

"You didn't make me angry. Like I said before...you were right when you said there was something going on with me", Ijuuin said.

Misaki let his eyes meet Ijuuin's.

"Oh? R-really?, Misaki asked, curious.

Ijuuin nodded.

"I-", Ijuuin started but Misaki cut him off.

"Um...Ijuun-no. I mean Kyou", Misaki said with a small smile.

Ijuuin smiled back at hearing Misaki call him by his first name as before.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I...I'm just worried about you. But I only want you to tell me if it's what you want.", Misaki said.

Misaki fumbled with his hands, a light blush forming in his cheeks.

"Whatever it is...No matter what. I'll listen to you", Misaki said.

Ijuuin's eyes widened in surprise. He hid his face in both hands, trying to pull himself together.

"...died...", Ijuuin mumbled.

"Kyou...What-", Misaki began to ask but was cut off when Ijuuin answered.

"My dad...he...he died", Ijuuin said, in a low voice.

Misaki's eyes widened from his shock.

"Kyou...Oh Kyou...I...I mean...", Misaki stammered. He didn't even know what to say to the man sitting across from him. He could feel his own eyes stinging with tears that wanted to fell but he held them back.

"W-when?", Misaki asked, not knowing what else to say.

"Two weeks ago", Ijuuin said flatly.

"T-that recent?", Misaki asked.

Ijuuin nodded.

"Kyou...I-I didn't know. I-I'm sorry", Misaki said, sincerely.

"I'm not", Misaki hear Ijuuin said. It surprised Misaki. His normally cool and friendly voice now sounded cold as ice and so uninviting.

Misaki looked up from his lap to stare at Ijuuin, who now had his hand clasped over his mouth, looking shocked at what he had just said out loud.

"I...I...don't know why I...", Ijuuin trailed off. Misaki could see that he was trying hard to put that smile back on his face but his face dropped back to its now sullen state. He stood up from the couch and averted his eyes away from Misaki's.

"Excuse me...I need to go the restroom. I'll be right back", Ijuuin said turning around the corner and disappearing

"Kyou...", Misaki said but by the time the name did leave his lips, he was speaking to the air. Ijuuin was gone.

* * *

**A/N: Oh god! Arent you all surprised? I know I was. Even the ever so friendly and cool Ijuuin has problems...Maybe Misaki can help him figure it out his feelings. Find out what those problems are in the next chapter...which is coming out today! :)**

**I have to warn you all though...it's kinda sad :'(**


	36. Chapter 36: Ijuuin's Story

**A/N: OK hey everyone! Let me start off by telling you all that I kinda surprised myslef in this chapter. I mean, I Made Ijuuin more than just a cool guy. Dare I say, I made him a little...deep o_O''**

**But doesn't everyone have somethig wrong in thier lives and go through rough times at some point in thier life? Of couse they do. So that's what I did for Ijuuin. The chapter was slightly emotional. You may or may not be surprised. **

**I was lucky today. I didn't have to separate any words today! I wasn't jumbled up or anything! Please enjoy! ^_^**

* * *

Misaki waited in the living room for a good half an hour before his worry got the best of him. He slowly got up and made his way towards the hallway where Ijuuin had disappeared around. He was about to look for where Ijuuin had gone, when his nose bumped into the mangaka's chest. Ijuuin seemed as if he barely felt if. He said nothing as he made his way towards the living room area, holding a bundle under his long arm. The only thing that Misaki could do was follow him. Ijuuin made his way towards a closet in the room and pulled out a pillow and sheets.

"Kyou what's going on?", Misaki asked, confused.

Ijuuin seemed to flinch at the sound of Misaki's voice.

"I'm sorry, Misaki. I...I don't think I'm in any condition to drive you home tonight.", Ijuuin said, in a quiet voice.

"Y-you mean I have to sleep here?", Misaki asked.

Ijuuin nodded.

"I'm sorry for the inconvenience", Ijuuin said.

"It's OK. I mean...I understand", Misaki said.

Ijuuin turned and made his way out of the living room, Misaki following close behind him. They walked around a corner to a staircase. He and Ijuuin walked up the stairs, and towards a room at the far end of the hallway. Ijuuin opened the door and let both Misaki and himself in.

"This is the guest room. I hope you'll be comfortable", Ijuuin said. He sounded very tired and strange to Misaki.

Misaki nodded. He looked around the large bedroom that he would be sleeping in. It was clean and very well kept. The bed was already nicely made with clean sheets and quilts but Ijuuin went and placed the extra sheets on the armchair next to the bed, which was situated in front of a large television. Ijuuin handed Misaki a T-shirt and cotton pants.

"You can sleep in these", Ijuuin said. He walked towards the door and looked at Misaki once more before closing it behind him. After he was gone, Misaki changed into the sleeping clothes. He already knew that they would be too big for him. After all, Ijuuin was taller than him, so it was understandable. When he finished pulling on the pants, Misaki knew that he was right. Though he had tied the pants with its string, the pants legs still sagged loosely over his own legs. The long sleeved shirt was big, the sleeves reaching down to almost his waste. He knew that Ijuuin was nowhere as built as Usagi but it still made the brunette feel small and tiny. Misaki sat on the bed looked up at the ceiling, deep in thought.

_I __knew __that __there __was __something __going __on __with __Kyou __after __a __while...but __I __didn't __know...it __was __something __like __that..._, Misaki thought. His eyes stung with tears once again, remembering the death of his own parents in the horrible car crash that claimed their lives when he was barely eight years old. Misaki plopped his head down on the pillow, still looking at the ceiling shrouded in the pitch blackness.

_I...I __wonder __if __there's __anything __that __I __can __do. __But __I __don't __want __to __bother __him...Kyou...he __must __be __having __a __really __hard __time __now_, Misaki thought.

_Maybe __I __should __just __leave __him __alone __tonight...it __is __really __late_, Misaki thought looking at the clock on the wall and seeing that it was five in the morning.

_Hmmm...if __Kyou __really __doesn't __want __to __be __around __anyone...then __maybe __I __should __stay __awake __and __take __the __train __at __six_, Misaki thought to himself. He hopped up from out of the bed and opened the bedroom door, peeping outside into the dark hallway that seemed so foreign to him. Easing the door open quietly, Misaki made his way down the hallway, feeling the unfamiliar walls in the dark. He stopped walking when he saw the bright light of the moon streaming into the room that he now stood in front of. Before Misaki could stop himself, he peered into the moonlit room through the cracked door. Straining his eyes, to see further in, Misaki saw a figure slumped over on the bed. He knew it was Ijuuin. The manga author's shoulders were slumped and his was sitting with his hands in his lap, looking down at them. Misaki couldn't see his face but he knew that Ijuuin was deep in thought, probably grief stricken as well. Suddenly, Misaki felt his hands slip on the wall he was clinging to, causing Ijuuin's bedroom door to ease open in a slow creak. Misaki knew he couldn't hide himself, so instead he walked into the bedroom where Ijuuin was sitting on the bed, a strained expression on his face.

"Couldn't sleep?", Misaki inquired softly.

Ijuuin didn't say anything, but looked away from Misaki.

Misaki shrugged and walked to stand in front of Ijuuin. He inhaled and exhaled loudly and then spoke.

"Kyou...Are you OK?", Misaki asked.

_OK...that __was __a __stupid __question __to __ask_, Misaki thought.

"I mean...Since you've told me what's been bothering you...I-I wish there was something I could do for you", Misaki said.

Ijuuin still did not say anything, so Misaki continued.

"I already told you before...If you need to talk about something...I-I'll listen to you...I mean it", Misaki said.

Ijuuin looked up slightly.

"Really", Misaki pressed.

"We're friends...So I'm worried about you", Misaki said.

"Kyou...Talk to me...tell me what's wrong", Misaki said, placing a hand on Ijuuin's shoulder. He felt Ijuuin's body give a small shudder under his hand, but he did not pull it away. Misaki suddenly heard Ijuuin speak.

"I...Me and my father...we never got along", Ijuuin said quietly.

"Really?", Misaki asked.

Ijuuin nodded.

"He actually never liked me either really", Ijuuin said.

"Oh", Misaki said, immediately thinking of Usagi and the strained relationship he has with both his father and older brother. Ijuuin continued.

"I first met him when I was seven years old", Ijuuin said.

"You mean you never knew him before that?", Misaki asked, surprised.

Ijuuin shook his head.

"My mother got a divorce from him before I was born. She was pregnant with me when she left him.", Ijuuin said.

"Ah", Misaki said, in understanding.

"I loved my step father. He was the only one who I would call father so easily", Ijuuin said looking into space.

Misaki nodded.

"I never knew my real father before...but I always felt as though there was a part of me that still wanted to knew the kind of person he was", Ijuuin said.

Ijuuin let out a light laugh. It sounded cold to Misaki, making him shiver.

"I was wrong about that...", Ijuuin said in a low voice.

"Huh?", Misaki said confused.

Ijuuin had gone silent once again, lost in his own thoughts.

"What...Do you mean?", Misaki asked.

"My real father showed up only a couple of, months after my step father died", Ijuuin said.

Misaki's eyes went wide in shock.

"Y-your step father is deceased as well?", Misaki asked.

Ijuuin nodded.

"Kyou...", Misaki, said apathetically.

"My step father...He...he had cancer...it...it was terminal", Ijuuin said.

Misaki kept silent, wanting to hear the rest of Ijuuin's story.

"After my step father died...My real father showed up in me and my mother's lives", Ijuuin said.

He scratched his head and continued.

"My _father_", Ijuuin said coldly and continued.

"Told me and my mother that he wanted to be in our lives again...That he wanted a second chance", Ijuuin said. He paused and held his face in his hands.

"Kyo...Excuse me for saying this...b-but isn't that a good thing? I-I mean that he wanted to be a father to you...", Misaki said.

Ijuuin shook his head fervently.

"The only thing he _wanted__was_ to have people who he could dominate over...Who he could control", Ijuuin said in a low voice.

Misaki gulped.

"So he was controlling?", Misaki asked nervously.

"He was more than controlling", Ijuuin said, darkly.

Ijuuin pulled up his black long sleeved night shirt to expose his rib cage. Misaki sat down on the bed beside Ijuuin to get a closer look at what he was being shown. Leaning in closely, Misaki let out a small gasp of surprise when he saw a long scar running down the side of Ijuuin's rib cage. He tentatively raised one of his hands and gently placed them on the long scar. He felt Ijuuin's flinch at him touching it, but he did not pull his fingers away. Misaki could feel his eye brimming with tears.

"K-Kyou...", Misaki said.

"He did it to me...My father...if you would call him that", Ijuuin said with a cold laugh.

He paused before continuing, Misaki's fingers still on the scar.

"I saw him...hit my mother...", Ijuuin said.

"O-oh", Misaki said.

"I really didn't know how long...it was going on...", Ijuuin said.

"I still don't...", Ijuuin said.

Misaki kept silent.

"When I saw that...I couldn't hold myself back...I hit him...punched him in the face", Ijuuin said/

Misaki shivered lightly.

"He did let go of my mother then...But his anger turned on me", Ijuuin said.

He gripped his shoulder tightly and continued.

"He...Had a pocket blade with him...so he brought it down on my side...cutting me", Ijuuin said. Misaki thought he heard Ijuuin's voice shaking.

"We were still yelling at each other...So I didn't even notice when he pulled it out", Ijuuin said.

He paused and looked up into space.

"I finally realized when I felt an icy stinging on my side...My mother took me to the hospital afterwards...I had to get a lot of stitches", Ijuuin said.

He laughed again.

"At the hospital...My mother told me she told the doctors I fell on glass...when I asked why she said we needed my father now", Ijuuin said.

"I...I told her that I would take care of her...that we didn't need him...", Ijuuin said, his voice softer now.

"I was just a kid then...I really didn't understand anything...", Ijuuin said, continuing.

"We didn't have a lot of money...she was in so much grief after the death of my step father...that...she just couldn't do it anymore...she couldn't stand on her own two feet...when my father showed up...she...just...gave in", Ijuuin said.

Ijuuin's hand tightened into a fist in his lap.

"My father got his way in the end...She let him stay...let him did what he wanted...we were literally at his mercy", Ijuuin said.

"He had a good job, and made a lot of money. It was true that he did provided for us financially...he took care of the bills, gave us money for groceries, everything...kept a roof over our heads, paid for everything we ever needed...but at what cost?", Ijuuin said, as if he were asking himself a question.

"He made our lives miserable...He hurt us...and enjoyed it...", Ijuuin said in a dark voice.

"He wanted to keep us closed in and away from everyone else", Ijuuin said.

"The only freedom I got was when I went to school...I'd stay as late as I could so that I wouldn't have to go home...it was a prison there...that's what he made it..", Ijuuin said.

A small smile spread across his face and he laughed lightly.

"You know...I made my first draft of The Kan in my high school library...in my first year", Ijuuin said lightly.

"But of course he had to find a way to take that happiness away from me too...he hated when I did anything I liked...when he found out I was drawing and writing stories...he threw all of my art supplies in the trash...all my paper and pencils too. I had to go school shopping again. He told me that I was worthless...everything about me was...and for a while I believed it...he managed to break me and my mother...it took me months to bounce back...I got determined...the only thing that that I wanted was to take care of my mother...that was the only thing that I wanted...so I started studying...hard in school. My mother always told me that education was the key to any kind of success...I got full marks in all of my classes...I was first in everything...When I was nearing the end of my third year in high school I was so relieved. Graduating meant freedom...it meant that that I could get away from him...go anywhere I wanted...without him putting restrictions on me...not holding me back...I began looking for colleges...ones that were far away...even ones that were in America", Ijuuin said.

He paused and clasped his hands in his lap, a serious look on his face now.

"But...There was always that one thought in the back of my head...what would become of my mother? I...I...really didn't want to leave her...I didn't think I could...not with that man controlling her every move", Ijuuin said.

"I stayed awake so many nights...Thinking of what to do...if I should go or stay...I...", Ijuuin said.

Ijuuin trailed off and paused.

"In the end I...I left her...alone...with _him_", Ijuuin hissed.

"I ran away to college and enjoyed my life while...She...my mother was...suffering", Kyou said.

"She suffered because of me...The only reason she stayed with him was for my sake...it's my fault that man forced his way into our lived...my fault she suffered...I put her through hell...I'm the reason, the cause", Ijuuin said. Misaki could hear the manga author's voice quiver as he spoke.

"I couldn't protect her...", Ijuuin said.

Misaki placed his hand on Ijuuin's comfortably.

"Kyou...", Misaki said, looking at him.

"The Kan was one of the best things that happened to me. When my manga began to get so popular...I knew it meant that I had a chance to make it up to her. When my father away on a business trip...I told her that I'd come for her and buy her a place of her own. She tried to stop me...she was afraid for me...but I didn't care...I told her that she deserved to be happy...the next thing I knew I was driving up to our old house...I took her to my apartment and then came back later during the day...I packed all of her things...and then brought them back with me. I was just so happy that my mother was safe. I went back the next day to get the last of her things...and then I ran into him. He wanted to kill me...I could tell. I remember him yelling and cursing at me...he told me that I had no right to take away his _property_. I didn't really need to hear any more that that afterwards...I...I just pushed him over and began punching him. I stopped after a while, however. The last thing I told him was to never come near my mother again...that was the last time I saw him", Ijuuin said.

He sighed heavily and spoke again.

"Then a few weeks ago I found out that he had died in a car crash", Ijuuin said.

Misaki looked up at Ijuuin.

"I-I'm sorry, Kyou", Misaki said teary eyed.

Ijuuin abruptly stood.

"You don't need to be...I don't feel anything", Ijuuin said.

"K-Kyou...", Misaki said.

"I mean it...He...he deserved what he got", Ijuuin said in a cold voice.

"Even so...He was still your father", Misaki said.

"What kind of father was he?", Ijuuin said coldly.

Ijuuin had begun pacing back and forth in the room, like caged animal. Misaki got up from the bed and stood as well, watching Ijuuin.

"All he did was abuse and hurt me and my mother. I don't...feel anything for that kind of monster", Ijuuin said.

Ijuuin sat back down on the bed and buried his face in his hands.

"I hate him...I hate him...I hate him", Ijuuin said weekly through his shrouded face. Misaki could hear his voice cracking, with the grief that he was holding in. Without looking up at Misaki, Ijuuin spoke.

"Misaki...Get out", Ijuuin said.

"Wh-what? Why?", Misaki asked.

"I...Can't be around you, anyone right now", Ijuuin said.

Misaki turned to leave but stopped himself before, just as he placed his hand on the door.

"No", Misaki said, determined.

He walked over to the bed where Ijuuin was sitting and spoke.

"I'm sorry...But I-I can't leave you like this, Kyou", Misaki said, walking closer to the bed.

"Please leave", Ijuuin said again.

Misaki did not say anything.

"Why do you want to be here?", Ijuuin asked, softly.

"Because you need someone to be with you", Misaki said.

"I don't believe you when you say that you...Hate your father", Misaki said, in a small voice.

"I'm not a nice person, Misaki...The Ijuuin Kyou that you know isn't real...this is the real me...I'm hateful and a horrible person. I'm disgusting...and I don't want to bring you down with me...so please leave", Ijuuin said, looking up at Misaki, his eyes full of sadness and despair.

Misaki shook his head again. He walked closer to where Ijuuin was sitting and stood in front of him. Misaki then placed a hand on Ijuuin's cheek and spoke.

"Kyou...You're...you're not dirty. You loved your mother and your father. It's true that your father did hurt you and you have every right to be angry...but I-I think that you still love your father...even after all he's done to you. There's no need to feel guilty for it", Misaki said.

Ijuuin's looked up at Misaki, his eyes wondering and soft.

"I hurt my mother too", Ijuuin said.

Misaki shook his head again.

"You didn't hurt your mother, Kyou...You didn't abandon her either...you did what you could and you took her away from her hurt when you go the chance. You were protecting her...even if you were still a child yourself. You couldn't't have done any better.", Misaki said.

"You're a good person, Kyou...", Misaki said, gently.

"You...Don't think I'm a bad person then...?", Ijuuin asked, his voice almost a whisper.

"No. of course not...", Misaki said.

"But...I was the one who tore my family apart...at least that's how I feel...my mother's unhappiness, her pain, and suffering...I...I feel like I'm the one who's to blame", Ijuuin said, his voice shaking.

Misaki did not say anything, but only stared at Ijuuin with sad eyes for a short moment, before he took a deep breath and spoke.

"Kyou...You're definitely not a bad person...but...you shouldn't hold feelings like this inside and keep them to yourselves like this...I mean...it's OK to feel angry and scared but...don't try to deal with them on your own. You...you don't have to put on a happy face all the time", Misaki said quietly.

He paused for a moment, thinking of the times Usagi held and consoled him.

"It's alright...So please...be a little selfish", Misaki said gently.

Ijuuin held his head tightly in his hands, as if her were having some kind of painful headache. Misaki could see how tense Ijuuin's shoulders were. After a few moments, Ijuuin lifted his face up slightly to look at Misaki. The brunette could see how tired and sad the mangaka's eyes looked. In an instant, without saying another word, Ijuuin pulled Misaki into him, pulling his legs between his own long ones from where he was sitting on the bed and buried his face in Misaki's stomach, wrapping his long arms around Misaki's small waste

"K-Kyou? What are you-?", Misaki began but stopped himself when he felt the tremors coming from Ijuuin's body, his shoulders convulsing up and down. Misaki could feel warm tears slowly soaking the sleeping shirt he was wearing, seeping onto his skin. Ijuuin was obviously crying. The feel of another man's body on his own, other than Usagi's felt so foreign to Misaki and Ijuuin held onto Misaki so tightly. Misaki did not pull away, but instead wrapped his arms around Ijuuin's warm neck and held him close, pulling him further into his stomach, while he ran his fingers through Ijuuin's soft hair, comforting him. He whispered words of encouragement, words of love, and telling Ijuuin that it would be OK. All the things Usagi had done for Misaki whenever Misaki felt this way. He let Ijuuin cling onto him, crying silently. The only thing that Misaki wanted was to let Ijuuin let go of all the pain, sadness and resentment he was feeling. Misaki felt shocked at himself when he felt hot tears running down his cheeks. He remembered the only one who he had every cried for was Usagi. At that time Misaki couldn't help but cry for the silver haired man. Usagi had just lost Takahiro, who he had been in love with because he was going to marry Manami, Misaki's now sister in law, who they had a child with, Misaki's nephew Mahiro. It was true that Misaki did have a tendency to get over emotional when it came to the hardships of other people and their feelings, but it was so different with Usagi. Misaki never felt that way with anyone else. And yet, here he was, crying for Ijuuin, feeling an invisible pull at his heart, feeling that Ijuuin's pain was his own. Ijuuin pulled away slightly and looked up at Misaki, barely raising his head. His tear streaked face, had weak eyes full of shock attached to it. He looked at Misaki in both shock and wonder.

"Misaki...why are you crying?", Ijuuin asked softly.

Misaki sniffed.

"I...Don't know...I just feel sad.", Misaki said.

He looked down at Ijuuin again.

"I...I'm so sorry, Kyou", Misaki said, a steady stream of tears now flowing down his own cheeks.

Instead of answering, Ijuuin pressed his face back into Misaki's soft stomach, wrapping his arms tighter around Misaki's body. There, with Ijuuin's face pressed into his body, feeling the stream on tears that was soaking his shirt, Misaki stayed with Ijuuin, rocking him back and forth in his arms, crying along with him. He decided right there that he would stay with Ijuuin for as long as he needed him.

* * *

**A/N: Alright then...uh...I was really surprised when I finished writing this part of the story last month. When I was done with it, I was like 'OK...just when did this become a Ijuuin and Misaki story o_O''**

**Cause' that's what's really happening! I swear, it was unintentional! **

**Please rate and comment! ^0^**


	37. Chapter 37: Stay With Me

Ijuuin held and cried onto Misaki for well over an hour, which was fine by him. Misaki did not mind the closeness that he was feeling with Ijuuin. They were good friends now and that was what was important to him. After some time, Ijuuin looked up at Misaki, his eyes slightly red from the crying. Misaki smiled encouragingly at the man that sat before him, trying to give him some strength to hold onto. Ijuuin weakly smiled back in response.

"Ah...Kyou...y-you must be really tired...I mean we've been up forever haven't we...you should get some sleep", Misaki said patting Ijuuin's head. He began to slowly pull himself away from Ijuuin, but was surprised when he felt Ijuuin pull Misaki back towards him, and buried him face in his stomach, inhaling Misaki's scent.

"Kyou...What is it?", Misaki asked confused.

He placed a hand on Ijuuin's forehead.

"Are you sick?", Misaki asked worriedly.

Ijuuin slowly shook his head and then looked up at Misaki from where he was sitting.

"Misaki...Can...can you sleep with me?", Ijuuin asked.

"Eh?...What?...huh?", Misaki asked, confused.

"Kyou...I don't know-", Misaki started but was cut off, becoming startled that Ijuuin had gently gripped his shoulders.

"I promise I won't do anything to you", Ijuuin said seriously, looking at Misaki.

"Wh-whoever said that you would?!", Misaki said flustered.

Ijuuin laughed in response.

He paused and smiled at gently at Misaki. The brunette let a small smile creep across his own face. Ijuuin was back to normal. It was the Ijuuin, the Kyou that Misaki knew. The one who smiled and was gentle and carefree. His friend, his brother. Misaki nodded without thinking, and Ijuuin smiled in response.

"Just let me get some sheets from the guest room", Misaki said.

"What would you need those for?", Ijuuin asked, grinning.

"Well there's a nice couch over there...I thought it looked comfortable", Misaki said, turning and quickly walking out of the room. After only a few moments, Misaki came back with a blanket and a pillow. He was smiling when he walked into the room.

"You see happy", Ijuuin noted, smiling.

"Of course I'm happy! I mean...you-you're back to normal. I'm relieved I guess", Misaki said softly.

He placed the pillow on the lengthy couch and was about to lie down, when Ijuuin grabbed his arm.

"Kyou?,", Misaki asked, surprised.

Ijuuin said nothing as he pulled the sleeper couch closer to his own bed, so that it was next to it. After it was positioned next to it Ijuuin patted the couch that was now next to his bed.

"Eh?", Misaki said, tilting his head to the side, in confusion.

"You can sleep here. Next to me", Ijuuin said, smiling.

"R-really...", Misaki said, wide eyed.

"Or would you rather sleep with me, in my bed", Ijuuin said, playfully.

"Kyou!", Misaki said, embarrassed. But despite it, a smile has spread across his face, happy that Ijuuin had returned to his normal self. Misaki crawled onto the comfortable couch and laid down, facing Ijuuin who was lying on his own bed. But neither of them went to sleep. Instead they both lay on their sides, looking at one another, occasionally making faces to make the other one laugh.

"OK...Well this obviously isn't working", Misaki said.

"Hmmm", Kyou said, staring towards the ceiling.

"I mean..., we're not falling asleep. Neither of us", Misaki said sighing.

"So what do you want to do then?", Ijuuin asked.

"I dunno...How about we just talk?", Misaki said, his eyes looking up.

Ijuuin smiled.

"Sounds good to me", Ijuuin said.

"Oh yeah! That's right, Kyou!", Misaki said.

"What?", Ijuuin asked.

"I wanted to tell you this earlier...But your condo is really clean!', Misaki exclaimed.

He paused and looked thoughtful for a moment.

"I mean...it's cleaner than your office at least...I thought it would have been just as messy...oops!", Misaki stopped himself, looking at Ijuuin with wide eyes.

"So you do think my office is messy", Ijuuin said.

"Well...I mean...it could be better...I think I'm just a neat freak with OCD", Misaki said, with a small chuckle.

"Haha", Ijuuin laughed.

Misaki looked closely at Ijuuin as he laughed again, louder this time, a bright smile on his face.

"Who says something like that about themselves?", Ijuuin said, still laughing brightly.

Misaki was slightly taken aback. He did not think that he had ever seen Ijuuin laugh so happily before, except for when they were having lunch together, and it topped even that. Ijuuin's face was that of a happy and bright angelic child.

"Now that's a real smile", Misaki said, smiling at Ijuuin.

"It's something that only you could bring", Ijuuin said, smiling at Misaki.

For the rest of the night Misaki and Ijuuin laughed and talked, telling stories and making jokes with each other, just having fun. They talked for another hour and a half before, Misaki began to yawn.

"Tired?", Ijuuin, asked softly.

"Nnnngh", Misaki said, rubbing his eyes

Ijuuin pulled the blanket up to Misaki's shoulders and patted him on the head.

"Good night, Misaki", Ijuuin said.

Misaki yawned again.

"Good night...Kyou", Misaki said, sleepily. He snuggled closer into his pillow and fell asleep.

* * *

Misaki wiggled under the sheets, feeling a warm bundle next to his own body. He was still sleepy and incoherent. Misaki suddenly shivered slightly, feeling a drafty breeze come over his back. He pulled himself further into the warmth that was beside him, wrapping his arms around the strong back and burying his face in a strong, warm chest. Misaki inhaled deeply, waiting for the familiar scent of cigarettes and light musky cologne to engulf his lungs, and his entire being. He was surprised when his nostrils were met with a sweet scent of vanilla and flowers. The scent and warmth together was so comforting and lovely, that Misaki pulled himself into it more, without even thinking. He was surprised to feel long, strong arms wrap themselves around his body. Misaki found himself drifting to drowsiness once more, the soft and sweet scent engulfing him, carrying him off to a peaceful sleep.


	38. Chapter 38: I'm Home

Usagi made his way off the train platform and took the escalator to the second floor of the train station. On his way out women stared at him as he walked down the pathway towards the exit. Usagi let a heavy sigh escape from his lips, feeling tired and fatigued. He was in no mood to be gawked at and undressed with the eyes of strangers. He had an aching pain and feeling of discomfort in his back and neck from the train ride. Though his room had a bed and sleeping couch on it, Usagi didn't lie in it. He couldn't sleep, not without the familiar feel of Misaki's warm body in his arms. He spent the ten hour train ride either sitting in the lounge chair, occasionally drifting off or walking around his room, having no destination in mind. He felt horrible but despite this he found himself smiling lightly, thinking of the surprised look that he would get from Misaki when he came home. Usagi yawed and walked out the exit of the building, where a car was already waiting for him. The driver bowed and opened the door, gesturing for Usagi to enter, while he grabbed the bags to put them in the trunk of the car. Sitting in the car, Usagi craned his neck back and forth, trying to get out any of the numerous kinks that he was feeling. The driver walked made his way into the driver's side of the car and started the engine. He looked at Usagi and spoke.

"Where to sir?", the driver asked.

"Home...", Usagi said, as if he were a ghost.

The driver blinked in confusion, looking surprised at what he heard. He smiled nervously and spoke again.

"Yes sir...but where do you live?...that is...you haven't given me an address", he said .

Usagi raised his tired eyes to look at the driver who sat in front of the wheel. He would have done the same thing he had done before and hijacked the car to get him as soon as possible, but he was too tired. Instead Usagi groggily gave his address to the driver and slumped back into his seat. The driver nodded his understanding and started the car.

"I'll have you home in a moment sir", he said as he pulled onto the road. Usagi couldn't help but smile at the thought of going home. After all, Misaki would be there waiting for him.

* * *

After a blurry twenty minute ride, due to the fact that Usagi kept passing in an out of consciousness, the car pulled up to his condominium. The driver got out of the car and took Usagi's bags to the entrance. In the meantime, Usagi was lightly passed out on the seat of the car. He heard a light knocking coming from the car glass and opened his tired eyes, to see the worried looking driver staring back at him. The driver opened the car door and peered inside.

"Sir, we've arrived at your destination", he said.

Usagi blinked, rubbing his head.

"You're home", the driver said.

"Yes...", Usagi said, ghostly. He got out of the car and walked a few feet before tripping on his own foot and falling face down. The driver rushed to his side, holding his arms out.

"Sir, are you alright?", the driver asked.

"Yes...", Usagi said, as if he were a spirit. He slowly got to his feet and stood shakily.

"Do you need help getting inside?", the driver asked, tiling his head.

"No...", Usagi said.

The driver hesitated for a moment but then nodded stiffly.

"Alright then. Please enjoy the rest of your day then", the driver said, making his way to the car.

Usagi abruptly turned around, looming his tall figure over that of the driver's. He looked down at the driver with dead eyes. He put his hand inside of his coat pocket and began to pull something out. The driver's eyes went wide with fear.

"Sir?", the driver asked, thinking that Usagi was going to pull out some kind of deadly weapon. He flinched as Usagi's hand emerged from his pocket. He was surprised to see that Usagi had only pulled out his wallet.

"Your tip...", Usagi said, his voice like ghostly wind.

"Oh...thank you, sir", the driver said. He held put his hand timidly waiting for a single bill to be placed in it. He was surprised to feel that his hand was stacked with multiple bills, some of them blowing away from the breeze. Without another word, Usagi turned and left, leaving a stunned driver behind him.

"Sir what about your change...?", the driver said weekly.

"Keep it...", Usagi said, incoherently.

"But-but this is 31,368 yen ($400)", the driver protested, weakly. Somehow he already knew that Usagi wouldn't turn around.

"Yes...", Usagi said, still walking away.

"I don't...", the driver began, but trailed off, seeing that Usagi had already picked up his bags and walked into the building. Usagi disappeared in the rolling doors and was gone. The driver looked at the large tip he had received once again, before he tucked it into his jacket pocket.

"Well _that_ was strange", the driver said, getting into his car and driving away.


	39. Chapter 39: Where's Misaki?

Usagi took the elevator up to his condo, his eye involuntarily closing on their own on the way up. When he reached the door he punched the entrance code in and threw the door open. Dropping his bags by the closed door, he threw his coat on the hanger rack and walked fully inside.

"Misaki! I'm home!", Usagi called by the door hallway. He was met with only silence. Scratching his head he, made his way into the kitchen. Peering inside, he saw that there was no Misaki. He then checked the living room, still searching. There was still no sign of the brunette. Usagi did a final sweep of the first flood of the condo but still did not see him. Usagi walked up to the second floor, his shoes padding on the steps as he walked. He knocked on both that bathrooms and looked inside, but saw that they were both empty, still a hint of lemon in the air from having been cleaned recently.

Turning back, he headed in the direction of Misaki's bedroom. Upon reaching it, he turned the knob and pushed open the door. It was dark and Usagi's eyes were already so tired that he didn't have the strength to adjust his eyes to the dark. Misaki had closed his curtains, so there was no light coming in from the window. Opening the door wider, he allowed more light into the room. Usagi saw that Misaki was not in his room either. He walked into the room and pulled curtains opened and turned around to face the surroundings. Misaki's room was clean and organized as usual. The carpeted floor had the fresh smell of carpet freshener, his books stacked and put away. Nothing was out of place. The only thing that was missing was Misaki. Glancing to left, Usagi saw that Misaki's bed was made, not a wrinkle or crease in the crisp sheets. Misaki was obviously not here. Running his hangs through his hair in frustration, slightly tugging it, Usagi made his way out of the room and into the hallway. He walked into his own room and sat on his bed, sighing heavily.

_Just __where __did __Misaki __go?_, Usagi thought to himself, in frustration. Looking at his watch, his saw that it was quarter past one. Misaki didn't mention having plans to go out for the week anywhere special, but then again he hadn't spoken to Misaki since Wednesday night and it was now Friday afternoon. Usagi was thinking that the brunette could have just been out shopping or running errands, but he still felt uneasy at coming home to Misaki not being there and not knowing where he had gone. Usagi suddenly remembered that Misaki had called the day before. He gloomed, recalling that he had missed the phone call because he was in a meeting. When he called back, however the phone had gone into voice mail. Pulling out his phone, he examined his recent calls list. Usagi's face saddened at seeing that Misaki had made no other phone calls since the one that he missed in the meeting. Scrolling to Misaki's contact information, Usagi dialed Misaki's number and put the phone to his ears, waiting to hear Misaki's greeting. Instead of hearing Misaki's voice, Usagi heard the phone call go straight to Misaki's voicemail. He ended the call and called four more times, hopping that Misaki would pick up the phone. He was met with the same message.

Usagi closed his phone and placed it on the bed next to him. He got up and walked out of the room and made his way down the stairs and into the living room. He plopped himself down on the couch and stared at the ceiling, his thoughts still on Misaki. Tilting his upside down head forward, Usagi noticed the phone on the stand, the tiny red light blinking, signaling that he had voice messages. Hoping that Misaki had left a message, Usagi walked over to the phone and dialed his message inbox. Sadly, the only messages were from Aikawa and Isaka about work. He quickly deleted them. Usagi was about to make his way back to the couch, when he suddenly had an idea. Usagi decided that he would call Misaki's friends and see if he had been with any of them. Usagi thought about looking at the recent calls log and check for the numbers but decided against it. It would take too long, and he had already remembered all of Misaki's friends' phone numbers by heart. The first number that popped into his head filled him with a feeling of annoyance at just thinking about it. He didn't have a choice though. Sighing, he dialed Sumi's number. After a few rings, it picked up.

"_Hi __there__"_, said a friendly voice.

"Ryouichi Sumi...", Usagi said darkly.

"_Oh__…__Usami-sensei? __Is __that __you? __How __have __you __been?__It__'__s __been __ages__"_, Sumi said, condescendingly.

"I did not call you for small talk", Usagi said.

"_Oh? __Then __are __you __here __to __pronounce __your__ undying __love __for __me__?__"_, Sumi said.

"Like hell", Usagi said.

"_Ah, __that__'__s __too __bad. __I__'__m__ always __here __though.__"_, Sumi said.

"Where is Misaki?", Usagi asked.

"_Oh __what__'__s __this? __Your __little __bird __flew __away __from__ you?__"_, Sumi said.

He laughed lightly, making Usagi that much more irritated.

"_He __must __have __gotten __tired __of __you__"_, Sumi said, laughing again.

"_Well __I__'__m __disappointed __to __say __that __he__'__s __not __here. __But __I__'__ll __be __expecting __him!__"_, Sumi said and hung up.

Usagi sighed, his tongue seeming to have a bad taste in his mouth after his conversation with Sumi. Usagi proceeded to dialing all of Misaki's friends' phone numbers from memory, asking them as to whether they've seen Misaki recently or have been with him. The answered were all the same. None of Misaki's friends had seen or heard from him all week. He thought about calling Takahiro, but reason told him Misaki would not travel all the way to Osaka, and risk missing their anniversary. At this point, Usagi was very concerned. No one seemed to have the faintest clue as to where Misaki was. He was about to put the phone back on the hook when he remembered someone who he hadn't called. It nearly slipped his mind. Misaki's friend Todo. Misaki and Todo spent a lot of time together because they had the same interests and hobbies. The two became fast friends. They were practically inseparable, something at which Usagi hated at the thought. He quickly punched in Todo's cell number and waited. It rang five times before someone picked up.

"_Hello?__"__,_ said friendly voice.

"Todo...", Usagi said, trying to hold in the irritation he felt

"_U-Usami-san! __Why __are __you __calling __me?__"_, Todo said in surprise.

"Is Misaki with you? Have you heard from him?", Usagi asked, cutting straight to the point.

"_He__'__s __not __with __me.__I__'__m __at __work __on __break. __Oh __wait...Misaki__'__s __not __home?...I __was __sure __that __he__'__d __be __sleeping __all __day __today...I __mean __we __were __out __pretty __late __after __all__"_, Todo said. Usagi's eyes went wide in interest.

"Where did you go?", Usagi demanded.

"_Oh...well __you __know...no__w__here __special __I __guess__"__,_Todo said.

"Where?", Usagi demanded, more angrily this time.

Todo gulped over the other end of the phone.

"_Well __yesterday...me __and __Misaki __went __to __the __anime __and __manga __festival __downtown...__"_, Todo said and trailed off.

"Did you?", Usagi said, darkly.

"_Yeah! __We __had __such __a __great __time! __We __ate __food, __played __games, __went __on __rides...and __we __got __so __much __free __stuff!__"__,_Todo said happily. He rambled on about the fun time they had before Usagi stopped him. He wasn't getting any helpful information that could tell him where Misaki was.

"When did you leave?", Usagi demanded.

"_Uh...well __I __left...a __little __past __midnight. __I __had __to __catch __the __last __train__"_, Todo said.

"And Misaki?", Usagi demanded.

"_He...he __stayed __longer__"_, Todo said.

"What?!", Usagi said, suddenly yelling.

His balled his free hand into a fist, his shoulders tense.

"You just left him?!", Usagi said.

"_Well...yeah...I __mean __Misaki __wanted __to __stay __and __I __had __to __get __to __work __in __the __morning..._", Todo. said. After a few moments, he continued.

"_But...you __shouldn__'__t __worry __about __it...Ijuu__in-sensei __said __he__'__d __take __Misaki __home__"_, Todo said reassuringly. Usagi's eyes went wide in shock.

"Ijuuin-sensei?", Usagi spat.

"_Yeah...he __took __me __and __Misaki __to __dinner __after __the __festival __was __over. __He __took __Misaki __home.__"_ Todo said.

Usagi felt his entire body tense.

"_So, __you __shouldn__'__t __worry, __Usami-san. __Misaki__'__s __really __responsible...he __probably...went __to __run __an __errand __or __something__"_, Todo said. Usagi let this hand holding the phone fall limply to his side.

"_U-Usami-san?...Usami-san? __Are __you __still __there?__"_, Todo asked over the other end.

But Usagi did not hear him. He couldn't hear anything now. His fist tightened in his frustration and anger. He slammed the phone down back on its hook. Storming into the entrance hallway, Usagi grabbed his keys and threw his coat back on over his shoulders, and walked out of his condo, shutting the door behind him. He took the elevator to the parking garage level and made his way towards his car. He got in and started the engine, pulling out into the street. He drove through the busy streets in silence, with only one thought on his mind. He was going to find Misaki.


	40. Chapter 40: A Happy Morning

Misaki woke up slowly from his sleep, feeling warm and secure. He was very comfortable and did not feel like getting up. Feeling the warm, bundle next to him, he pushed his face further into it, again waiting for the scent of tobacco and cologne that he knew so well. He was surprised to smell the same sweet scent that he drifted off to sleep with, only hours before. Using his foot to feel around, Misaki felt that the space in which he was laying on was much more spacious and roomy than the couch he had fell asleep on. Misaki tried to move his arms, but felt that they gently pinned in front of him, pressed up against a something firm. Misaki slowly opened his eyes to see the soft sleeping face of Ijuuin in front of him, his eye lids fluttering in his sleep. It took all Misaki had not to cry out in surprise. He didn't want to wake up Ijuuin. In most circumstances, if it was Usagi who had sneaked into his bed, he would have just bonked him on the head and demand that he leave. But looking around, Misaki realized that he was not sleeping in his bed, so it was him who was the intruder. Ijuuin's arms were still wrapped around Misaki's body, pulling him into an embrace in his sleep.

_Oh__ my...this...is __definitely...not __good,_Misaki thought nervously. He wanted to pull out of the Ijuuin's arms that were locked around his body, but did not want to wake him. Misaki gasped when he felt Ijuuin pull Misaki closer into his body in his sleep. His lips lightly brushed Misaki's forehead as he did so. In a second, Misaki's face turned a bright crimson red, flushed in embarrassment. He couldn't hold in is voice as he cried out in his shock.

"W-wah!", Misaki cried out. Ijuuin had still not let go of Misaki but his eyes slowly opened and looked down at Misaki. A gentle smile was one his face as soon as he saw the blushing brunette.

"Good morning, Misaki", Ijuuin said, smiling.

"G-Good morning", Misaki said, stiffly.

"Something wrong?", Ijuuin asked.

"Well...Um...I...Kyou...Wha-why am I...in your bed?", Misaki said.

Ijuuin smiled at Misaki.

"Ah, well...you see...you just looked so uncomfortable sleeping on the couch. So I let you sleep with me", Ijuuin said.

"I hope you don't mind", Ijuuin said.

"W-well I guess not...but...um...could we...get up...?", Misaki said.

"Aw. It felt so nice holding you in my sleep. You're very soft and warm you know", Ijuuin said.

"Um...", Misaki said, embarrassed.

"Usami-sensei is very lucky. He can hold you any time he wants", Ijuuin said.

"What?", Misaki said, embarrassed.

"N-no he doesn't!", Misaki protested.

Ijuuin smiled again.

"Really now?...then let's stay in bed longer", Ijuuin said. He pulled the sheets over the both of them and wrapped his arms around Misaki, covering Misaki's body with his own.

"Kyou! I-", Misaki protested but was cut off when he felt long fingers gently digging themselves into his ribs. Ijuuin was tickling him. Misaki couldn't stop the smile from spreading across his face. He cried out in laughter.

"Kyou!...hahaha! S-stop it...hahahaha!", Misaki tried to speak again, but started laughing.

"So you _are_ ticklish, Misaki. How cute", Ijuuin said, smiling.

"O-of course I-I'm ticklish...hahahaha!...e-everyone is!", Misaki said, laughing again, as Ijuuin continued tickling him.

"I don't think so", Ijuuin said, smiling smugly.

"I'll prove it then!", Misaki said. He lunged for Ijuuin and tackled him on the bed, where he began tickling Ijuuin's side and ribs. The mangaka cried out in laughter, smiling from ear to ear. They were both tickling each other now, both of them having too much fun to stop. They continued to tickle each other for a couple more minutes before, they both sprawled out on the bed, looking up at the ceiling and panting, smiled on their faces. Turning on their side, they stared at each other grinning.

"Now _that _was fun", Misaki said, smiling.

"It sure was", Ijuuin said, grinning back.

Misaki sat up in the bed and stretched. He glanced at the clock that was on the wall and his eye went wide on shock.

"Kyou! It's past two O'Clock!", Misaki exclaimed, hopping out of bed.

"Is it?", Ijuuin asked, swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

"We slept the whole day", Ijuuin said, surprised

"Well...we did stay up until five in the morning", Misaki said stretching. He turned to Ijuuin and spoke.

"I hope I didn't make you miss any meetings or anything", Misaki said, frowning slightly.

Ijuuin shook his head and smiled .

"No. I don't have any work until next Thursday. I have time off. I'm not complaining though. I need it", Ijuuin added softly. Misaki walked over to him and placed a comforting hand on his arm.

"Kyou...are you sure you're OK?", Misaki asked, with concern.

Ijuuin smiled.

"Yes. I am now. Thank you, Misaki. For everything", Ijuuin said.

Misaki smiled back, glad that Ijuuin was happy again.

"So, Kyou, I'd better get ready to leave. The trains are running now so I should be fine", Misaki said.

Ijuuin's face dropped slightly in disappointment.

"You're leaving already?", Ijuuin asked.

Misaki couldn't suppress his laugh.

"Kyou, I've been with you for the whole night, and most of the day before too", Misaki said.

"I know. I just wanted tickle you some more", Ijuuin said, smiling.

"I knew it!", Misaki , smiling.

"Misaki, how about I take you to breakfast before taking you home?", Ijuuin offered.

"Hmph...More like lunch", Misaki said lightly.

Ijuuin laughed

"Let's call it brunch", Ijuuin said, smiling.

This time it was Misaki's turn to laugh.

"So how about it?", Ijuuin asked, again

"Hmmm...I don't know. I mean you've done a lot me already", Misaki said.

"I want to", Ijuuin said, sincerely.

Misaki smiled and nodded

"Alight! That sounds good. I'll be in the guest bathroom getting ready to leave. I'll be ready in half an hour!", Misaki called, as he walked out the bedroom door and towards the guest room. Ijuuin began undressing himself, getting prepared to leave as well. He smiled to himself, glad that for a few more hours, he could have Misaki all to himself.


	41. Chapter 41: To You I Will Run

Usagi drove through the streets of downtown Tokyo, looking for any trace of where Misaki was. He had already called Ijuuin's newest editor, demanding that he tell him Ijuuin's phone number. That was no easy feat. The young editor was calm and collected, much like that of Ijuuin himself. His cool maturity for his age would have been slightly disheartening to Usagi if he was not so focused of finding Misaki. Thinking of the brunette made Usagi feel anxious and worried. The feeling of concern that they author had before was now slowly being replaced by his growing anger and annoyance. He didn't know why exactly but something didn't feel right. He felt as if something were very wrong. The thought of Ijuuin and Misaki together made him seethe in silent rage.

Ijuuin's editor did not give Usagi the information he needed, so he turned to a new way of obtaining it. Usagi resorted to the one thing he hated most...flirting with women. But it was the only way he could get what he needed. But with his good looks and smooth talking, Usagi had gotten one of the female office workers to give him Ijuuin's number and address. Yes he had to tell a small lie that he and Ijuuin were doing work together and that was why he needed the information so badly but it would all blow over. He knew it. Usagi was the bestselling author at Murakawa, so no one questioned him when he asked for Ijuuin's contact information. Usagi had called both Ijuuin's cell phone and home phone number at least several times each, but no one answered. And when he called Misaki's cell phone, it went straight into the voice mail. He left numerous messages, but he had a distinct feeling that he would hear nothing back from them.

So now he was driving in downtown Tokyo, towards Ijuuin's apartment, an instinctive feeling spreading through his body. Usagi pulled his car up to the address he had gotten from the worker and examined the surroundings. Looking at Ijuuin's condominium, he knew that Ijuuin made a lot on money in his work. The condominium complex was as large and spacious as his own. Quickly getting out of his car, Usagi made his way into the building, and took the elevator up to the fourth floor. He walked quickly down the hall until he came to the door with the number 463 on it. He scowled at the door, in annoyance when he saw it.

Stepping in closer, Usagi used the knocker to knock on the door. There was no answer from the other end. He used the knocker to tap on the door again. There was still no response from the side. Usagi sighed loudly in frustration. He knocked on the door loudly, this time using his fist, pounding it against the door. No one came to the door to answer his knocks. People from the other apartments were peering out of their own, looking at him. But Usagi didn't care that he was drawing attention to himself. He raised his fist again, ready to continue banging on the door, when he noticed a group of women standing in the hallway, staring at him. One of them walked up to him and timidly spoke.

"Excuse me...", she said.

Usagi turned his annoyed eyes to meet hers, causing her to flinch in surprise.

"What?", Usagi asked irritated.

"You're Usami Akihiko, the author aren't you?", she asked, her face bright with happiness.

"Yes? What of it?", Usagi said annoyed.

She frowned slightly and continued. Usagi rested his palms on the door, searching for a way to get in that didn't involve breaking down the door.

"Um...are you looking for Ijuuin-sensei, by any chance?", she asked. Usagi perked up and looked at her.

"Yes", he said, making his voice friendlier and smoother.

She blushed.

"He's not here", she said.

"He's not?", Usagi asked.

She shook her head.

"Me and Ijuuin-sensei are working together for our next work. He and I made plans to meet up and discuss the production of our newest book", Usagi said, saying the same lie he had in the office.

"Oh really? I'm sorry to say he's not here", the woman said.

She looked thoughtful for a moment before she spoke again.

"He left about an hour half an hour ago", she said.

"Did he have anyone with him?", Usagi asked earnestly.

"Well...yes. He left with a boy. I think he was a high school student.", she said.

"Did he have brown hair and green eyes?", Usagi asked.

"I...I think so", she said.

"Misaki...", Usagi said, fatigued.

"Do you know him as well?", the woman asked.

Usagi turned to her and smile.

"Ah yes. Misaki, the boy who left with Ijuuin is my...personal assistant", Usagi said.

He let out a light laugh, making his face gentler.

"He must have been getting more material from Ijuuin-sensei for me.", Usagi said.

He looked at the woman, a more serious look on his face.

"Do you know where they went? It's very important that we discuss our new project", Usagi said, straightening his tie.

"Oh...I do believe they went out to eat. There's a restaurant not too far from here. Ijuuin-sensei frequents it a lot. You may want to try there", she said. The woman gave Usagi the name of the restaurant and directions.

"Thank you", Usagi said. He bowed quickly and before the woman could try to make any passes at him, he walked to the elevator and disappeared in the doors. Once he was at the lobby area, Usagi walked to his car and got in. starting the engine, he pulled out into the street, in the direction of the restaurant, where Ijuuin and Misaki were.


	42. Chapter 42: Longing

**A/N: Hey there everyone! It's me again with a new chapter for my story! Who hoo! So you guys wanna know why I'm so excited? Well it's cause' in this chapter, things start to get really interesting! I already told you all that I have the whole story already finished and I am just taking my time to upload everything right? Well when I finished writing this chapter last month, I was pretty happy with it! I'm tell you, that...ooohh...that Ijuuin...he is so...oooo...that manga artist...LOL. Well read on and see what I mean! Enjoy guys!**

* * *

Ijuuin drove them to a small restaurant near his condo. It was less than a fifteen minute drive to get there and on the way there, Misaki and Ijuuin made small talk as they usually did, laughing and smiling throughout. They got out of the car and walked inside of the restaurant and was greeted by a staff member who led them to a table in a private area of the restaurant. Misaki was happy for the seclusion from the inquiring and wandering eyes that seemed to follow him and Ijuuin everywhere they went. They sat across from each other, talking and joking, and just having fun. Misaki had to admit to himself that he enjoyed Ijuuin's company. The mangaka was fun to be around and they had the same interest, which allowed them to talk for hours on end and this was no different.

"Hey Kyou. I forget to tell you how jealous Todo is of me that I called you by your first name at the festival yesterday", Misaki said, giggling.

Ijuuin raised an eyebrow.

"Really?", he asked.

"Yeah. He was telling me what a privilege it was to call you but it. I mean. ...it was so funny!", Misaki said, laughing again.

"It's not really a privilege. It's just my name.", Ijuuin said, smiling.

"That's what I said!", Misaki exclaimed.

"Hmmm. But I kinda feel bad that I can call you that and Todo doesn't", Misaki said.

"Don't worry about it Misaki. You can call me more formally when we're in public and when we're alone you can call me by my first name", Ijuuin said.

Misaki looked up.

"Huh? You mean you would mind if Todo called you by your first name too?", Misaki asked.

Ijuuin smiled.

"Misaki, how many people do you think outside of my family call me by my first name?", Ijuuin asked.

"I-I don't know", Misaki said.

"No one", Ijuuin said, in a simple manner.

"R-really?", Misaki asked.

Ijuuin nodded.

"No one else?", Misaki asked again.

"No", Ijuuin said.

"Not even people who you've dated?", Misaki asked, surprised.

"Especially not them. My relationships tend to not last long", Ijuuin said.

"B-But you let me call you by your name", Misaki said.

"I do", Ijuuin said, taking a sip of his tea.

"How come?", Misaki asked confused.

Ijuuin put his tea cup down and looked at Misaki.

"Because, you're special to me, Misaki", Ijuuin said.

Misaki's eyes widened in shock.

"Wha-what?", Misaki asked, taken aback.

"You're...very dear to me", Ijuuin said softly, still looking at Misaki.

"I-I am?", Misaki asked.

"Yes. You are.", Ijuuin said.

Misaki looked away, his face flushing.

"You...mean a lot to me too, Kyou", Misaki said.

Ijuuin smiled.

"Not as much as Usami-san does though", Ijuuin said.

"Huh?", Misaki exclaimed in his confusion.

"Usami-san…. You're in love with him.", Ijuuin said. It was a statement, not a question.

"Kyou...I...", Misaki trailed off, not knowing how to cover up his love for Usagi. He had come to love the author so much that he didn't know how to push it away when confronted with it.

"You don't have to lie to me, Misaki. I've known since last year", Ijuuin said.

"O-Oh", Misaki said, looking down. He felt Ijuuin's hands clasp his own from across the small and intimate table.

"Misaki...I love you", Ijuuin said.

Misaki rolled his eyes slightly.

"Kyou, that joke's getting old you know", Misaki said, letting out a light laugh. Despite the brush off, Misaki felt nervous for some reason. He looked over at Ijuuin, thinking he'd see that cool smile on the manga author's face, his eyes glinting mischievously as usual. But instead Misaki saw Ijuuin looking at him with a serious face, his eyes burning with passion. He pulled Misaki closer to him from across the table.

"I mean it. I've been in love with you for five years now, Misaki. Since the first time I met you.", Ijuuin said

"Kyou...", Misaki said, his face flushing to a deeper shade of red.

"I love you, Misaki", Ijuuin said again.

Misaki looked away from Ijuuin's intense gaze. He could feel his heart pounding out of his chest.

"I-I like you too", Misaki said, still not meeting Ijuuin's gaze.

Ijuuin pulled both Misaki's hands to his mouth and gently kissed each of them warmly.

"You know...that's not what I mean", Ijuuin said, meeting his intense eyes with Misaki's.

"K-Kyou...I-I". Misaki began. But he couldn't finish his sentence, not with the hot intensity that he could feel coming from Ijuuin's eyes as he stared at him. Misaki felt exposed and naked under such a gaze.

_K-Kyou loves me...he's...in love with me...no way…no way…I..._, Misaki's thoughts trailed off. Ijuuin's hot breath still warmed his entire body, making him feel as if his body was surrounded in a current of electricity. It was if he were in some kind of trance, he didn't know to escape from. Then the thought of a silver haired man with passionate lavender eyes, brought him out of it.

_Usagi-san..._, Misaki thought. He slowly lifted his head up to look at Ijuuin. He gently gripped Ijuuin's hands in his own, not sure what he was holding onto them for.

"K-Kyou,,,,I-I can't. I mean...I really like you...but I don't know if it's that kind of like...and U-Usagi-san...I already...have him...I-", Misaki said, Ijuuin slowly released Misaki's hands and placed his own on the table in front of him.

"You must love him very much", Ijuuin said.

Misaki blushed before, his heart beating faster.

"Y-yes. I do. I love him", Misaki said in a small voice.

"I'm sorry", Misaki said.

"There is nothing to be sorry for. I just wanted you to know how I felt", Ijuuin said.

Misaki couldn't find anything to say. He wanted to explain to Ijuuin his own feelings. It was true that he did respect and was attracted to Ijuuin. And there was a part of Misaki that that did love Ijuuin. He truly loved Ijuuin, but the love he felt for Ijuuin was a spark compared to the fire that he felt for Usagi. Misaki wanted to tell Ijuuin how he felt, so that he could understand his feelings. He wanted so badly to tell Ijuuin how Usagi made him feel. How the silver man haired made him feel complete, how when he looked in Usagi's eyes and was held by him, he felt he was home and nothing could hurt him. How Usagi took up all the space in his heart, his entire being, leaving no room for anyone else. He wished he could explain these things to Ijuuin, but he knew he couldn't.

"Kyou...I...you mean a lot to me...you really do...but Usagi-san...I...I don't think that I could go without him...ever", Misaki said quietly.

"I understand", Ijuuin said.

"Usami-sensei is one lucky man", Ijuuin said.

"I think...that I'm the lucky one", Misaki said.

"Oh, Misaki. Don't tell me you're going to say something like, 'he completes you'. Because that would be so played out and dare I say cheesy", Ijuuin said, grinning. There was sadness in the smile and Misaki could see it.

"I would never say anything like that! What do I look like to you?", Misaki said, embarrassed.

"The type of person who would", Ijuuin said, smiling.

Misaki smiled back, laughing. Ijuuin paused and looked at him.

"Kyou?", Misaki asked.

Before he could say anything, Ijuuin leaned over the table and kissed Misaki gently on the lips.

"K-Kyou?", Misaki asked, his face turning red in a blush. No one except Usagi had ever kissed him before. It was a feeling that Misaki was not used to but he didn't hate it.

"That was my surrender", Ijuuin said.

"Wha-what?", Misaki asked.

"I'll let Usami-san have you, not that I had a choice in the matter. You would have picked him over me anyway.", Ijuuin said.

"Well...", Misaki trailed off.

"But...if he ever does anything to you...makes you unhappy in any way...I won't hesitate to steal you away from him", Ijuuin said, seriously.

"I...I really don't think...that will happen...", Misaki said.

"A guy can dream, right?", Ijuuin said, smiling.

"Y-you're horrible!", Misaki said, but he began laughing anyway, Ijuuin joining along with him. But Ijuuin suddenly stopped laughing and cleared his throat, his gaze looking far way. Misaki stopped laughing, surprised at Ijuuin stopping his own laughter in such a short amount of time.

"Kyou, what's-?", Misaki started but stopped when he followed Ijuuin's gaze toward the entrance. The entrance was so far away and hidden with a thick array of shrubbery that, Misaki had to slightly squint his eyes to see properly. He felt his face drop when he saw the tall figure standing in the entrance, slowly making its way over to where they were sitting. Misaki felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He could recognize the silver hair that seemed to glisten in the sunlight anywhere. It was Usagi.

* * *

**A/N: So there it is! Ijuuin told Misaki how he felt...No I mean he _really _told Misaki his feelings for him. He was actually serious. Well he was always serious, I think but this time he wasn't playing around with it. He wasn't even smiling! o_O''**

**But too bad for him, Misaki rejected him with love. Hmmmm...I dunno know Misaki...for some reason, I'm really feeling Ijuuin right about now. I mean he could be even better than Usagi. And I apologize to all you MisakiXUsagi fans out there...I happen to be one too...a really big one actually...but if given the choice, I think...I would have chosen Ijuuin. Sorry! ****I mean damn he's just so sexy!**  


**But really, Misaki has properly rejected Ijuuin this time, because he acknowledged his love for Usagi. Speaking of which, there we have Usagi there, ready to pounce. One has to wonder just how much of the conversation he heard? Hope he hasn't gotten the wrong idea. Stay tuned for the next installment! Please rate and comment! ^0^  
**


	43. Chapter 43: Suspicion

Usagi stood a few feet away from the table where Misaki and Ijuuin were sitting, his eyes searching the room. Misaki unconsciously slouched down in his chair, pulling his head lower. The last thing he wanted was for Usagi to see him. He sat in his chair, silently urging Usagi to walk back out the door. Before, Misaki felt that he was not doing anything wrong by having a meal with Ijuuin, but now that Usagi was in the room, knowing that he was looking for him, Misaki was overcome by in intense feeling of guilt. Misaki saw the older man look towards the direction from where he just came, and Misaki felt himself relax a little. If Usagi did leave then, he could go out the back entrance. He would go straight home and tell Usagi the truth about where he had been. Misaki silently cursed himself for not finding a phone to call Usagi and tell him where he was. He then cursed himself again when he realized he was thinking in such a sneaky manner. Misaki let a relieved breath when he saw the older man turn his head to face the direction on the door, his feet turning along with him. But his silent prayers went unanswered. The author turned around and walked past the shrubbery that had been concealing Misaki and Ijuuin. He was now standing directly in front of the table they were sitting at, staring at them with a mixture of emotions. Usagi's eyes were a dark wind of shock and anger, as he stormed over to where Misaki sat across from Ijuuin. Now standing over them, Usagi's eyes were dark and stormy with his anger, but he had still not said anything to either of them. Misaki found himself feeling nervous and scared at the sight of Usagi just standing there silently.

"U-Usagi-san...", Misaki said but trailed off at his lack of words to explain himself.

The silver haired man remained silent, his eyes hidden in anger. Misaki looked at Usagi nervously, still trying to , make him understand. Ijuuin smiled, and looked at Usagi.

"Usami-sensei. I'm surprised to see you back from your trip so early. Misaki tells me that you weren't due back till tomorrow", Ijuuin said, glancing at Misaki, his own eyes slightly surprised. Misaki nodded nervously.

"Did he?", Usagi said, looking at Misaki. The brunette couldn't suppress his flinch from Usagi's eyes making contact with his body.

"Yes. But it's good to see you all the same. It has been quite some time since we've had a friendly conversation", Ijuuin said lightly.

"When have we ever been friends?", Usagi said, looking at Ijuuin.

"Oh my. Could it be that you're angry I'm out with Misaki?", Ijuuin said.

He let out a light laugh.

"I asked Misaki to help me with some work today. That's the only reason he's here", Ijuuin, lied, coolly.

"Really now? That's quite amusing Ijuuin-san. A short while ago I came from Murakawa and they told me that you had the rest of the week off", Usagi said, looking at Ijuuin.

"Yes, that is indeed true, but I'm always an early bird when it comes to my work. The earlier I start, the faster I get it done. And Misaki here keeps me at a good work pace", Ijuuin said.

"I see", Usagi said.

He looked down at Misaki questioningly, as if seeing if he would say anything.

"Misaki was also helping you with work last night, correct?", Usagi inquired.

Misaki flinched, remembering that the night before, he and Ijuuin had slept in the same bed.

"No actually. Misaki and his friend Todo came to my event at the manga convention and afterwards I treated them both to dinner", Ijuuin said. Usagi stared at him for a moment before he turned to Misaki and smiled.

"Well then, thank you for taking care of Misaki for me", Usagi said.

"It was my pleasure", Ijuuin said, smiling back.

Usagi then turned to Misaki once again and spoke.

"Misaki, let's go home", he said picking up Misaki's bag in one his hand and turning to leave.

"Ah...OK!", Misaki, said. He turned to Ijuuin and gave him a small smile.

'Ky-Ijuuin-sensei, thank for lunch", Misaki said. He eased out his chair to leave. As he did so Ijuuin grabbed his hand and held onto him for a moment.

"K-Kyou", Misaki whispered, anxiously. He cast a nervous glance towards the door where Usagi's back was turned, waiting for Misaki. He was was about to protest further, when Ijuuin pulled a paper bag from underneath his chair and placed it in Misaki's hand.

"Don't forget this", Ijuuin said.

Feeling the velvety contents of the bag, Misaki knew it was the bouquet that Ijuuin had made for him.

"Thank you again, Misaki", He said, smiling.

Misaki smiled and nodded. He tucked the bag inside of his jacket and walked the to door to meet Usagi.

* * *

**A/N: OK so everything seems good now. But I'm going to give a slight spoiler and Tell you all that things do not get better in the next chapter. They only get a lot worse. See what happens in the next chapter! Keep reading everyone! Please rate and comment! ^0^**


	44. Chapter 44: Hatred

Once outside Misaki and Usagi got in the car, and Usagi started the engine, pulling off onto the road. They drive for a few moments in silence, which was slightly surprising to Misaki. He was so used to the older man asking about his day and what he had been up to, especially when he was gone for a period of time. But today was not the case. Usagi seemed to be in deep thought as he drove, his eyes looking straight ahead into space. What was more stranger to him was that Usagi had not even brought up their upcoming anniversary that was tomorrow. The author was usually on point with things such as that. Misaki decided that he would be the one to start the conversation this time.

"So, Usagi-san, how was your trip?", Misaki asked, trying his best to make conversation.

Usagi shrugged his shoulders.

"Boring as usual", he answered, looking straight ahead.

"Oh", Misaki said, slightly disappointed that he had failed at the conversation attempt. He forgot how much Usagi hated to talk about work, especially when it involved him leaving home.

"I'm guessing you didn't have any fun then?", Misaki said, lightly.

"I hate going to those damn meetings", Usagi grumbled. Misaki couldn't help but smile. It was so usual of Usagi to hate work.

"What about you, Misaki?", Usagi said.

"Huh?", Misaki said.

"Did you enjoy yourself while I was gone?", Usagi asked, glancing at Misaki. There was an emotion in his eyes that Misaki couldn't quite figure out.

Misaki felt his heart jump for a moment, remembering the night that Ijuuin and him spent together.

"Ah...yeah! Me and Todo went to the manga and anime convention! I guess Ijuuin-sensei told you that though...which reminds me...I have to pick up my share from Todo's place later!", Misaki said.

"So you had fun then...that's good", Usagi said.

"Well...yeah", Misaki said, lightly. Usagi sounded strange to him for some reason.

"I see...good then", Usagi said. He pulled onto their street and parked the car on the curb. Misaki grabbed his bag from the backseat and swung it over his shoulder, the paper bag with the flowers still pressed to his side in his jacket. They both got out and walked to the condominium entrance. They rode the elevator up to their floor in silence, the only sound coming from the movements of the elevator. When they reached their floor, they walked to their condo apartment. Usagi entered the entrance code and let them both inside. Usagi placed his coat on the rack and kicked his shoes off and walked into the living room. Misaki hung up his jacket and tucked the paper bag under his arm and followed Usagi into the living room. The older man was sitting on the couch reading a book.

"Usagi-san, what do you want for dinner?", Misaki asked.

"I'm not hungry", Usagi said.

Misaki looked at Usagi inquiringly.

"But it's only four. You could get hungry later", Misaki said.

"I don't want anything", Usagi said, rubbing his head.

Misaki walked over to stand in front of him.

"Are you sick?", Misaki asked, worriedly.

Usagi shook his head.

"OK", Misaki said. He turned to leave when he heard Usagi speak.

"Misaki", Usagi said.

"Yeah?", Misaki answered back.

"I was just wondering...where were you yesterday?", Usagi asked, putting his book down.

Misaki's entire body turn stiff.

"I was at...the convention with Todo", Misaki said. He tucked the bag he was holding further under his arm.

"Where were you last night?", Usagi asked, his face hidden.

"Oh...well after the convention...Ijuuin-sensei took me and Todo out to eat...", Misaki said. He could feel his voice getting quiet.

"What time did you get home?", Usagi asked.

Misaki could hear the accusation in Usagi's voice.

"I...Um...", Misaki said, trailing off.

Usagi stood up from the couch and walked over to stand in front of Misaki.

"Misaki...I'll ask you again. What time did you get home?", Usagi asked. He voice seemed to have grown more tense. Instead of answering, all Misaki could do was look away. He couldn't look Usagi in the eyes and tell him that he had spent the night with Ijuuin. They hadn't done anything but Misaki could still feel the guilt weighing on his chest, crushing him.

"I called Todo", Usagi said.

Misaki didn't say anything, but continued to look down at the floor.

"He told me that he left before you and Ijuuin-san...after midnight.". Usagi said looking down at Misaki.

The brunette still did not break his silence.

"You were still with him after Todo left.", Usagi said.

"Y-yes", Misaki said.

"When did you get home?". Usagi asked again. Misaki felt as if he were being crushed by the question.

"Ah...", Misaki quietly trailed off.

Usagi moved in closer to Misaki, barely leaving any space between the two of them. Misaki himself slowly backed away towards the wall, but as he did so the bag that he had tucked away under his arm, fell to the ground in a soft thud. Misaki helplessly looked down at it. He was about to pick it back up, but the older man beat him to it. Usagi picked up the bag from the floor and held it between his hands, feeling it with his fingers, as if trying to guess what would be inside. After a few moments, Usagi slowly pulled the bag away, exposing the crystallized bouquet of flowers. Misaki looked away from Usagi as he held it in his hands, turning it in circles, examining it.

"This is quiet an array of rare flowers", Usagi said, in a low voice.

Misaki went quiet once again.

"Did Ijuuin-sensei give you these?", Usagi asked, his voice growing darker my the minute.

Misaki remained quiet.

"I see.", Usagi said, still holding the flowers in his hand.

He turned his back to Misaki, not speaking.

"I-", Misaki began, finally finding his voice, but was cut off when Usagi began to speak.

"Do you love him, Misaki?", Usagi asked.

"Wha-what? No!", Misaki said.

"Are you sure?", Usagi asked, his back still turned.

"I mean...I-I do really like him and his work but it-it's different. I-", Misaki began, but was cut short.

"So you do have feelings for him", Usagi said.

"N-not like that!, Misaki, protested.

Misaki paused for moment, and then continued in a small voice.

"It-it's not like that", Misaki said, in a small voice.

The author did not answer.

"U-Usagi-san...y-you know that I-", Misaki started but was cut off when the silver haired man suddenly spoke.

"What? You love me?", Usagi said in a low voice.

Though he knew that the author could not see, Misaki nodded slightly anyway.

"Y-yes. I-", Misaki began but stopped when the author abruptly turned around and spoke, his eyes stormy with anger.

"Then why were you with him?!", Usagi yelled as he threw the banquet of flowers to the floor, shattering them.

"U-Usagi-san...", Misaki trailed off.

"Misaki...you...", Usagi trailed off, his voice full of anger. He walked over to Misaki, backing the brunette into a wall.

"Usagi-san...", Misaki said, his voice full of sadness.

"Do you know what I did to get here. I wanted to be home for our anniversary. It took a ten hour train train ride for me to get home", Usagi said angrily.

"T-ten hours? Then y-you mean you left work at-"

Misaki paused, counting backwards in his mind

"Four in the morning...", Misaki said, quietly.

"Try three", Usagi said.

"U-Usagi-san, I'm-", Misaki started but was cut off again.

"And I come home, expecting you to be here, but you weren't. You were out with _him_," Usagi spat.

"I-", Misaki said.

"Don't you care how I feel at all?", Usagi said.

"Of-of course I do. I-", Misaki said.

The brunette stared at the floor.

"Look at me when I talk to you, Misaki", Usagi said, darkly.

Misaki did not look up. Instead he tried to move from where he was standing. But the older man put his arm in front of Misaki, stopping him.

"Misaki", Usagi said, darkly. Using his other hand, Usagi gripped Misaki's shoulder firmly.

"Look at me", Usagi said again.

Misaki still refused to look up. The older man let out a heavy sigh.

"You must have had fun with him right?...Ijuuin-san seems to have taken quite the liking to you", Usagi said.

The older man removed his hand from Misaki's shoulder and turned the brunette's face up to look at him.

"You were out so late with him having dinner. On a date. And you didn't expect me to feel jealous?", Usagi said.

"It wasn't-", Misaki began.

"Then what was it like? You must have had fun. It's a wonder you went to sleep at all", Usagi said darkly.

Misaki couldn't help but look away, his lip trembling. Usagi stared down at him for a moment, his eyes searching. The silver haired man's eyed suddenly widened in realization.

"Misaki...you...you didn't come home last night...did you?", he said, his eyes still dark.

"I...U-Usagi-san...", Misaki said quietly, trying to explain.

"Did you come home last night?", Usagi asked, firmly.

"N-no", Misaki said, looking away.

"I-I didn't come home last night.", Misaki said, still looking away.

"You were with him.", Usagi said, his voice still, dark

"Y-yeah", Misaki said, still looking away. Usagi sucked in a quick breath and looked away, his hand tightening into a fist on the wall. Misaki looked at Usagi and saw that the older man looked to be truly distressed and angry with what he had done.

"U-Usagi-san. Please...I swear...we-we didn't do anything", Misaki pleaded,wanting the older man to understand.

But Usagi remained quiet.

"M-me and Todo went to the anime convention and we saw Ijuuin-sensei there. He took us out to eat", Misaki said.

The older man still did not say anything.

"I-I did try to call you...to tell you where I was going. I really did. B-but you didn't answer so I just left...", Misaki said.

"It-it's true that me and Ijuuin-sensei stayed after Todo left...but all we did was eat and talk", Misaki said.

"You went over to his house then.", Usagi said.

"I-", Misaki began but was cut off by the older man speaking again.

"You...spent the night with him", Usagi said in a low and a dark voice.

"U-Usagi-san...it-it's not what you-", Misaki started only to be cut off again.

"Then what the hell is it?!", Usagi yelled, startling Misaki.

"You go have dinner with him, you go over to his apartment, and you sleep there! Just what is it you want me to think, Misaki?", Usagi yelled.

"W-wait...Usag-", Misaki began.

"You...", Usagi trailed off.

"I-I didn't-", Misaki started but cut himself short when he saw the angry glare that Usagi was giving him.

"Stop talking. I don't want to hear anymore", Usagi said, darkly.

In an instant, the older man pressed Misaki's body up against the wall with his own and roughly kissed the brunette hungrily on the lips. Misaki felt as if he couldn't breathe. The kiss was just too full of anger for him to feel anything else. Misaki tried to push Usagi away from him, but the older man only pressed his body harder against Misaki's in response. The older man suddenly began unbuttoning Misaki's shirt, exposing his chest and stomach. Misaki flinched as he felt the cool air from the atmosphere make contact with his skin. He desperately tried to push the older man's roaming hands away from his body. But Usagi was determined. His hand continued to fondle and caress Misaki with angry passion. Misaki flinched when he felt a large hand cup his crotch and then began to unzipper his jeans.

"U-Usagi-san! Stop!", Misaki said.

But the older man did not seem to hear him. Instead his pushed his hands up on Misaki's chest and began pinching his nipples. Again, Misaki tried to detach the older man's hands from his body but to no avail. Usagi continued to touch him, despite his protests. During the protesting, Misaki had not noticed that the author had eased them away from the wall. It came to a surprise to him, when Usagi suddenly pulled Misaki towards the couch, still kissing him and pushed Misaki down on it. The brunette tried to get up but the the older man quickly got on top of him and continued kissing him. Misaki squirmed and struggled but Usagi's hard body refused to move itself from on top of Misaki's. Usagi pulled Misaki's unzippered pants down and put his hand inside of his white underwear, stroking his manhood.

"Did he touch you like this, Misaki?", Usagi asked darkly.

Misaki only whimpered in response.

Usagi bent his head lower and ran his hot tongue over one of Misaki's nipples, causing the younger man to flinch in response. The older man then sucked and licked Misaki's nipples, roughly, nibbling on them as he did so. The brunette's body had become completely flushed. Using one of his long fingers, Usagi pulled Misaki's underwear down past his butt and cupped Misaki's manhood firmly in his hand. He bent down and took Misaki's heat into his mouth, sucking and licking as hard as he could. Though Misaki's body was beginning to react to it, in reality, Misaki felt as if he were going to be sick. Placing his hands on Usagi's shoulders, Misaki weakly began pushing the older man away from him. Usagi didn't even look up at Misaki from what he was doing. The brunette felt his body growing more and more hot by the second. Shuddering, he felt himself release in the older man's mouth. He couldn't help it. His body reacted on its own.

He slumped back down into the couch. Misaki stared at the ceiling, his eyed fixed on the walls that surrounded them. Misaki felt Usagi's lips hotly kissing his neck and angrily biting down on the soft skin and make their way down his his chest. He felt Usagi press his own large erection into his body, Misaki wanted to scream, but he held it in. He felt tears burning in his eyes, threatening to stream down his face. Misaki began to shiver out of fear uncontrollably. He didn't want to do this with Usagi. Not like this. It made him feel hated and as if the older man did not love him. And that was a feeling that the brunette could not live with. Usagi's lips continued to trace Misaki's body, marking him. Then the tears finally came.

They ran down his cheeks and ears from where he was. Though he tried to hold it in, Misaki found himself crying harder, frightened and scared noises escaping from his lips. Usagi's lips ceased their movements. The older man raised his head to look up at Misaki. The brunette looked as if he were truly terrified. Tears soaked his cheeks and face. His lips and body shaking. Against Usagi's chest, Misaki's hands were trembling and he was crying, small hics coming from him. Usagi looked at Misaki for a moment before slowly raising himself off the brunette and walking towards the entrance, picking up a blanket from the other end of the couch. Usagi tossed the blanket at Misaki,and turned his back towards him.

"Go to your room", Usagi said darkly, his back still towards him. Without saying another word, he walked out of the living, room, leaving Misaki on the couch still feeling shaken and anxious at what had just happened.

* * *

**A/N: Please rate and comment! ^0^**


	45. Chapter 45: Negligence

Usagi didn't talk to Misaki for the rest of the afternoon. He didn't even look at him. For the rest of the day, Misaki took refuge in his room, just laying in bed, even though his was far from tired. He just didn't want to go to sleep. Thoughts of Usagi spun around in his head, making him feeling confused and anxious.

_I-I __didn't __mean __to __upset __Usagi-san __like __this. __Kyou __just...he-he __needed __someone. __I __couldn't __just __leave __him __alone. __I __couldn't. __But __I __know...that __Usagi-san __has __every __right __to __be __mad __at __me_, Misaki thought, tears still running down his face. Misaki reached under his bed and pulled out a tall purple box. It was Usagi's anniversary gift. It took Misaki over a week to finish, since the materials were so hard to find. It was for Usagi, so it had to be perfect. He held the box in his lap for a moment, hugging it to his body before he slipped it back underneath the bed.

_Does __Usagi-san __even __want __to __celebrate __our __anniversary __now...?_, Misaki thought glumly.

Misaki felt the need to talk to Usagi growing inside of his chest. All he wanted was for Usagi to understand that he hadn't betrayed him. He never would. Misaki loved Usagi and it wouldn't change for anything. Or for anyone. He wanted to tell the the older man everything so that he would believe him. But Misaki knew that he couldn't. It was Ijuuin's secret, not his. He had not right to tell anyone anything. Not when the mangaka had confided in Misaki. He couldn't betray Ijuuin and break his trust like that. He was Misaki's friend after all. The young man was stuck between a rock and a hird place. Misaki rubbed his head in frustration and anger at himself, thinking about all the things he had done wrong. Of all the things he could've done differently. Thinking he could have made things turned out better if he had just tried harder than he had. He was just blaming himself. Misaki laid down in bed facing the wall and closed his eyes. He willed the sleep to come and overtake him. He wanted to go to sleep and wake up with everything right again. Usagi wouldn't be angry with him and they would both be looking forward tho their anniversary that was tomorrow. But Misaki knew that such a thing wasn't possible.

If he wanted Usagi to understand anything, then he knew he would have to talk to him. Yes, Misaki was scared. But not of Usagi. He was scared that the older man would still not listen to him. But he knew that he would find no peace until he at least talked to Usagi and tried to come to an understanding of some sort. Misaki sat up on his bed for an hour, thinking of what he would say to the older man. After all the time had passed, Misaki still came up empty. His mind was a mess with worry. He decided that he would just speak from what he was feeling.

Glancing at his clock, Misaki saw that it was already six in the evening. Misaki pulled a twinge in his heart. This would be the time that he would be preparing dinner. But Misaki already knew that they last thing Usagi wanted was to be in the same space as him. Letting out a heave sigh, Misaki walked out of his room and down the hall. He paused by the stairs and peered down over the banister, he could see Usagi on the couch reading a book, looking as if he were in deep thought. Misaki almost didn't want to bother him, but he knew he had to. He took a deep breath and slowly made his way down the staircase, trying as hard as possible not to make any noise. Misaki stopped when he was several feet away from where the man was sitting. He knew that Usagi knew he was in the room. The older man did not look up from his book. Misaki cleared his throat and spoke.

"U-Usagi-san", Misaki said quietly.

The author did not say anything. Misaki let out another heavy sigh. He knew that the older man was not going to speak to him. He had a distinct feelings of so. Misaki decided that he would take the chance to talk, knowing that he wouldn't be interrupted.

"Usagi-san", Misaki said again, louder this time.

"I-I...W-we need to talk", Misaki said, moving in closer.

The only thing that could be hear other than Misaki's voice was the sound of Usagi turning pages in the book he was reading.

"I-I wanted to tell you...nothing...nothing happened between Ijuuin-sensei and me...I mean it...all we did was talk...th-that's it.

Usagi angled his body on the couch, turning himself further away from Misaki.

"I-I mean it", Misaki said again.

"A-all we was eat...and talk...I...it's true that I went over to his place...b-but that was for something else.", Misaki said.

He took another breath and continued.

"I...the reason that I went over to his place...I mean...Ijuuin-sensei...when he told you that I was over at his place in the morning, helping him with his work...he-he...it wasn't true. I spent the night there. But we-we didn't do anything.", Misaki said.

"I-I was helping him though...w-with something else", Misaki said, not wanting to reveal anything about Ijuuin's past. He felt that he was getting more scared as the minutes passed.

"P-please...Usagi-san...I...please...believe me", Misaki said.

He felt as if he were going to cry again.

Usagi continued to turn the pages of his book, not saying anything. He wasn't even looking at Misaki. It was if he didn't exist. Misaki couldn't help but feel small and vulnerable.

"Y-you know h-how I feel about you. I...you're the only one I-I love, Usagi-san", Misaki said weakly.

"S-so please...believe me", Misaki said sadly.

The brunette was startled when he heard a book shutting closed. Usagi closed the book and stood up from where he was sitting. Without even looking at Misaki, he walked up the stairs and into his own room. The sound of a door slamming shut slowly followed. Misaki stood there stunned for a moment, before he felt fresh tears stinging in his eyes, as they slid their way down his cheeks. That was it. Misaki knew that he couldn't fix this. Not this time.


	46. Chapter 46: Giving You Space

Usagi didn't come out of his room for the rest of the night. There were so many times that Misaki thought about knocking on the older man's door and beg for him to listen to him, to believe him, but ultimately Misaki decided against it, thinking he had no right to do so. He was paying for staying the night at Ijuuin's. This was his punishment. Usagi not talking to him, not even acknowledging that he was there. Misaki went to his room, feeling defeated and just all around horrible. He felt like such a bad person. He wanted to wash these feelings away from him, but he knew he couldn't. Misaki laid his head on his pillow, his body suddenly feeling tired and heavy. He closed his eyes and invited the sleep to come over him, and stop his internal suffering, even if it only be for a short time. And it did. Tucked away in his sheets, Misaki felt the sleep wash over him, like waves in the ocean. Misaki slowed his breathing and fell into a restless sleep.

* * *

Misaki woke from his sleep hours later, not feeling any better that he had when he first went to bed. He looked at the clock on his nightstand and saw that it was quarter past ten. Misaki had slept the whole night away and some of the day too. The first thing that popped into the brunette's head were thoughts on as to whether Usagi had eaten or not. He quickly pushed them away, not wanting to torment himself any further than he was already feeling. He was feeling bad enough as it is. Hopping out of bed, Misaki slid his feet into his slippers and creaked his door opened, and cautiously looked outside. The hallway was empty. Misaki grabbed some clothes from his drawer and made his way to take a quick shower. After he was showered and dressed, he made his way downstairs and looked around. Walking into the kitchen, he saw Usagi standing by the counter, drinking his usual coffee. Misaki felt the urge to run back to his room, but he suppressed it, and walked on. He slowly made his way into the kitchen and stood awkwardly, waiting for Usagi to say something to him, anything. The older man stayed silent as he drank his coffee. Misaki timidly spoke.

"G-good morning", Misaki said, timidly.

The author did not say anything in response to Misaki's greeting.

"U-Usagi-san...I-I know you're not talking to me but...", Misaki trailed off.

The older man continued to drink his coffee, only one side of his face visible to Misaki.

Misaki wanted to tell Usagi that it was their anniversary, but he suddenly lost his confidence, when he saw that the older man was still treating him coldly. Misaki looked away from the man, not wanting to remember how he was feeling. Usagi put his coffee mug in the sink and walked out of the room, leaving Misaki alone once again to feel the throbbing pain in his heart that didn't seem to go away.

* * *

Misaki went back up to his room and sat on his bed, burying his face in his hands.

_I...Wha-what __should __I __do? __I...Usagi-san...he __doesn't __even __want __to __be __around __me...I..._, Misaki thought helplessly.

He slowly raised his head from between his hands, tears once again burning in his eyes.

_I...can't __stay __here...I...I __need __to __leave...if __Usagi-san...if __he __doesn't __want __me __around...then __I __should...respect __his __wishes_, Misaki thought numbly. He could feel his heart panging and twisting in sorrow. Though that thought ran through his mind, Misaki really felt terrified at the thought of leaving Usagi. He couldn't be without the man. He knew that. Misaki felt that if he did leave Usagi he would lose a part of himself. And he was afraid to. Instead of leaving for good, Misaki decided that he would instead give the older man the time alone he needed. Usagi needed to sort out his feelings and he wouldn't be able to do that with Misaki there. He didn't want to spent time apart from Usagi, especially when it was their anniversary but he knew that it was the right thing to do. Misaki thought about the places he could go to kill some time. Murakawa was out for him. There was not doubt about it. If he went there then Usagi may get the wrong idea, like he had now. He thought about going to his Osaka to visit Osaka, but also decided against it. He didn't want to be a bother to his brother and sister in law. Misaki did think about spending time with some of his friends, but that was no good for him either. Most of his friends would want to go out drinking or karaoke and Misaki was in no mood for that. Instead Misaki decided that he would spend the day by himself. He could go to the manga cafe and relax.

It was a set plan for him. Misaki walked over to his closet and pulled out the bag he had taken to the convention. It still had everything he would need in it. From his closet, his also pulled out a blue paper bag, and placed the box with Usagi's present inside of it. He decided that when he got home he would give it directly to Usagi. He swung his bag over his shoulder and walked out of his bedroom. Misaki quickly walked down the stairs. Before going any further, he peered into the living room and saw Usagi sitting on the couch, his legs crossed, reading the paper. Misaki was about to speak, but something held him back. He knew that Usagi wouldn't talk to him anyway. Instead Misaki walked to the door and eased his feet into his shoes. With another glance at the hallway, Misaki opened the door and stepped out into the bright sunlight, hoping that things would be better between Usagi and him when he got back.


	47. Chapter 47: Distraction From My Heart

From the living room, Usagi heard the front door shut with a silent click. Misaki had left. He knew he had. Misaki did have every right to leave. Usagi remembered that only hours earlier he had tried to force himself on Misaki again. Just as he had done the week before. The only difference this time is that he was able to sop himself. The older man let out a heavy sigh and put the newspaper he was reading down. He wasn't really reading it anyway. He reached in his pocket and pulled out his pack of cigarettes and placed one in his mouth. Fumbling around in his pocket, he pulled out his lighter and lit the nicotine stick. He had already smoked a lot for the day already, but he couldn't stop. He had the habit of always smoking when he felt angry or upset and this time was no different. The smoke whirled around into the air, creating his usual scent and coating his clothes. But smoking didn't help. Not with the way he was feeling. Usagi could still feel rage and jealousy brooding inside of him, taking him over. He was angry at Misaki, angry with Ijuuin, and angry with himself. He couldn't stop the way he was feeling. The emotions covered him entirely, making him feel black inside. From across the hall. He could hear the phone ringing. Usagi clicked his teeth, annoyed by the sudden sound. The last thing he wanted to do was talk to anyone. Not even Takahiro. But he decided that he needed something to distract himself, so he trudged over the phone and put it to his ear, not even bothering to look at the caller ID.

"What?", Usagi gruffed into the phone.

"_Hmph...now __what's __with __that __attitude __Usami-sensei? __That __is __no __way __to __answer __the __phone. __Where __are __your __manners?__"__, _a woman's voice chirped in haughty tone. Usagi recognized it at Aikawa. Of course it had to be her. She was the only woman who could speak to him like that. The older man grunted in response. He heard Aikawa sigh on the other end.

"_Alright.__I __get __it, __Usami-sensei. __I __know __you __want __to __be __alone __with __Misaki-kun __right __now...But __I __just __wanted __to __wish __you __both __a __happy __anniversary__"__,_Aikawa said. She really has bad timing on this one.

"_Ah, __that's __right, __Usami-sensei. __I __have __an __anniversary __gift __for __you __and __Misaki! __But __I __can't __bring __it __to __you __right __now __and __I __want __to __give __it to __you __both __personally.__"__,_Aikawa said.

"Fine.", Usagi said, shortly.

"_Is __Misaki-kun __there?__I 'd __like __to __tell __him __congratulations __too__"__,_ Aikawa said happily.

Usagi bit his lip, his anger threatening to boil over..

"_Usami-sensei?__"__,_Aikawa asked.

"No. Misaki's not here", Usagi said, in a cold voice.

"_Eh? __But __today __is __your __anniversary. __I __was __sure __that __you __would __have __hauled __him __off __to __some __private __island by now__"_, Aikawa said jokingly. Usagi did not reply.

"_Usami-sensei? __Is __everything __alright?__"_, Aikawa asked, suddenly sounding worried.

"Yes", Usagi answered shortly.

"_Where __is __Misaki?__"__,_Aikawa asked.

"Don't know", Usagi said shortly.

"_You __don't __know? __That's __strange...__"__,_Aikawa said suspiciously.

"What are you doing now?", Usagi asked suddenly.

Aikawa let out a short laugh.

"_I'm a__t __Murakawa. __Some __of __us __actually __work__"_, Aikawa said. She was expecting to hear the man come up with some snide and witty remark in response but the he did not say anything.

"_Usami-sensei?__"__,_Aikawa asked again.

"I'll be there in a minute", Usagi said.

"_U-Usami-sensei? __What __are __you __talking __about? __Today __is __you __and __Misaki-kun's __anniversary. __This __is __the __one __day __I __let __you __goof __around __and __you __**want **__to __come __to __work? __Besides __you __never __want __to __come in__to __work. __Ever.__"_, Aikawa said, still shocked.

"First time for everything. I'll bring my work with me", Usagi said.

"_Are __you __serious?__"_, Aikawa asked,

"I'll be there in ten minutes", Usagi said, and hung up.

He walked to the entrance hallway and put his shoes on. He let himself out of his condo and closed the door behind him. One the elevator ride down, Usagi couldn't help but think about what he was doing. It was so out of character for him. Usagi hated to go into work, especially at the company who made him go to so many meetings and event. But he wanted to get his mind off Misaki. For even a moment, he wanted to forget everything that was going wrong with their relationship. Inside of the parking garage, Usagi walked to his car and got in. he sat there for a moment before starting the car and driving down the street in the direction of Murakawa publishing. He felt numb as he drove in his silence.

* * *

As soon as Usagi walked through the doors of the publishing building, every stopped what they were doing to stare at him, as if he were some kind of alien. Usagi could hear their whispering as he made his was through the building. He ignored it and walked on.

"W-wait...no way", One person said.

"So handsome!", A woman squealed from behind him.

"Is-is that Usami Akihiko? In the flesh. He never...", another said.

"I thought he was just a myth", another female employee said.

Usagi the urge to turn around and threaten them all with lawsuits. He was in not mood to take any abuse from anybody at this point. The only thing he wanted was to...to...work. He just wanted to get his mind off of Misaki. Usagi felt horrible and he wanted to stop feeling. He decided he would bury himself in work for the next couple of hours and then talk to Misaki when he got home. Usagi had been ignoring Misaki since yesterday. He couldn't help it. It was the only thing he could do to stop himself from lashing out against his younger lover. Usagi was not good when he was angry, and he was trying to keep himself from getting out of control. Usagi took the elevator to the sixth floor, where Aikawa's new office was. He stood in front of her room door and knocked. After a moment, the red haired woman answered. When she opened the door, she was gawking at him with her mouth wide opened.

"Y-You actually came?", Aikawa said stunned.

"Why wouldn't I?", Usagi said, annoyed.

"Because you hate it", she said still shocked.

"Are you going to continue acting stupid or are you going to let me in?", Usagi asked.

"How rude", Aikawa said. She opened the door wider for Usagi to come in.

"I brought my newest manuscript with me. I'm already finished. I just want to go over it again.", Usagi said, walking in.

"What? Seriously? But we didn't need it until next month!", Aikawa exclaimed.

"I have a lot of time on my hands", Usagi said, simply as he took a seat next at the round table.

"Yeah...", Aikawa said, trailing off. She was looking at Usagi was searching eyes, trying to figure out what was wrong with the author. But Usagi's poke face didn't go anywhere. It stayed plastered on his face, not giving anything away and shrouding his emotions. Usagi walked over to the table in the room and sat down in a chair, placing his briefcase on the glass surface.

"OK. What's going on here?", Aikawa asked, sitting down across from him.

Usagi shrugged.

"Nothing. What makes you think there is?", Usagi said simply. He took a cigarette from his pocket and placed it in his mouth. He was about to light it when Aikawa pulled the cigarette out from between his lips ans stared at him.

"Problem?", Usagi asked.

"No. you're the one who has the problem, Usami-sensei.", Aikawa said.

"What are you talking about?", Usagi asked, annoyed.

"What are you doing here?", Aikawa asked.

"Working", Usagi said, pulling out his pack of cigarettes and drumming his finger on it.

"I mean what are you doing here when you should be with Misaki-kun?", Aikawa asked looking at him seriously.

Usagi did not answer.

"Oh...I see...You and Misaki-kun had a fight.", Aikawa said.

"It's none of your business", Usagi said.

Aikawa sighed.

"Usami-sensei. Whatever it is you and Misaki-kun are fighting about you should hurry up and fix it already. Or else you'll be lacking material for your next BL novel", Aikawa said, jokingly.

The older man didn't even respond.

"Wow. This must be serious. You don't even care about your BL books", Aikawa said, shocked.

Her face soften.

"But I am serious, Usami-sensei. You guys'll make up in no time. You just have to talk it out", Aikawa said reassuringly.

"Assuming we want to", Usagi grumbled.

"Is it really that bad?", Aikawa asked,

"What happened?", she asked, placing her hand on her chin.

Usagi went silent once again.

Aikawa rubbed her head and let out an exasperated sigh.

"Fine. You don't have to talk about it. But the main point of the matter is that you love Misaki-kun and he loves you, so I'm sure that you guys can work it out.", Aikawa said.

"Yeah", Usagi answered back, nonchalantly. He didn't mean what he said at all.

Reaching into his briefcase, Usagi pulled out a large stack of papers.

"Here's the manuscript. I wanted to go over it together", Usagi said, sliding it towards Aikawa.

Aikawa's eyes widened in their surprised and then turned slightly sad.

"If that's what you really want", Aikawa said, taking the stack into her hands.

"Let's get to work then", Aikawa said, turning the first page.


	48. Chapter 48: To Keep You Off My Mind

**A/N: Hi again everyone! I hope you guys are enjoying the story thus far. Well let's do a small recap shall we? Just a small one. OK so you all know that thing between Misaki and Usagi are not going so great :(**

**But hopefully it'll get better!...or maybe not. Only time will tell...oh yeah and me cause' I wrote the story! :)  
**

**Chapter 48 everyone! We are really moving along on this! Enjoy! :)  
**

* * *

Aikawa and Usagi spent the next couple of hours working. Together, they edited and revised the needed parts, adding text and changing words around to make it more interesting. Needless to say, it barely had any mistakes. Usagi had delivered just as he always had. His work was practically flawless. He was the one who made the most suggestions to it, during the session together. After four hours of working, they finally got through the manuscript. The last forty pages did not need to be edited.

"Well, Usami-sensei tickle me impressed.", Aikawa said.

"The story was very interesting...but", she said, trailing off.

She placed the manuscript on the table and turned to look at Usagi.

"Did you finish it during the time you were having trouble with Misaki?", Aikawa asked.

"And?", Usagi said.

"I notice that...your story...the point of view...you've gone back to your old writing style. It has a cruel outlook on the world at the ending...like you always did...before you met Misaki-kun", Aikawa said worriedly.

"Ah, so you noticed", Usagi said, slowly.

"If it's really this serious, then you should call Misaki-kun right away", Aikawa said.

She was about to say more, when suddenly there was a knocking at the door. Aikawa looked up, surprised.

'Who could that be? I didn't have any other appointments for today. And I'm not expecting anyone either", Aikawa said, getting up from her seat. She opened the door and there stood Masayoshi Daichi. Aikawa found herself slightly blushing when she saw him, which was very unusual for her. She spent hours alone with Usagi, who was very handsome himself, and never once reacted the way she was not. Usagi rolled his eyes at the sight of it.

"Ah good hello Aikawa-san. How are you doing this afternoon?", Masayoshi said, smiling.

"Oh...I'm fine...thank you for asking", Aikawa said, still blushing slightly.

She cleared her throat and spoke.

"But what brings you here Masayoshi-san?", Aikawa asked, surprised.

Masayoshi let out light laugh before answering.

'Ah, well...I've just finished a four hour meeting with Murakawa. And and on my way out I heard quite the rumor going around", he said.

"Rumor?", Aikawa asked.

"Yes. They say the great Usami Akihiko has come into the company. I just dropped by to see if it was true and to say hello to the both of you of course", Masayoshi said.

Aikawa couldn't help but laugh.

"Well he's here alright. We've just finished working.", Aikawa said, letting him into her office.

Usagi did not even look up when he entered. Aikawa gave him a stern look, one of which he saw. So Usagi put on the charm, as he always had.

"Good to see you Masayoshi-san.", Usagi lied through his smiling face.

"Same here, Usami-sensei.", Masayoshi said.

"Aikawa-san tells me that you've finished your latest manuscript.", he said, looking down at the table at the stack of papers.

"It would be an honor if I could catch a glimpse of your amazing work". He said, placing a hand on the table. Before he could move any closer to it, Usagi took it into his hands and smiled at him.

"Ah, ah, ah. Not before it's published. It'll be a surprise", Usagi said, smiling coolly.

Masayoshi laughed.

"You're quite the character, Usami-sensei", Masayoshi said.

"Oh I think the same", Usagi said, still smiling.

Masayoshi turned his attention to Aikawa and smiled at her.

"Aikawa it must be an experience to work with Usami-san", he said.

"You can say that again...I mean yes! It's truly...interesting", Aikawa said.

"Your boyfriend must be very jealous", Masayoshi said.

Aikawa blushed.

"Ah...no...I don't have anyone special like that", Aikawa said.

Usagi couldn't stop a small amused noise from escaping from his lips. Aikawa shot him a death glare.

"Really?", Masayoshi asked.

Aikawa nodded.

"Why? Is there something wrong with that?", Aikawa asked, suddenly feeling very defensive. She was a little self conscious about the issue. She was older that Usagi and she'd never been in a serious relationship.

"No. I'm just surprised...you're quite attractive", Masayoshi said.

Aikawa's blush deepened. The only one that she knew who had called her pretty was Misaki. She was shocked that someone else thought so.

"I...really?", Aikawa asked, shocked.

"Well in my opinion...yes", Masayoshi said.

He frowned slightly.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. That was quite inappropriate wasn't it?", he said.

"No...It's fine...Th-thank you", Aikawa said.

"I'm glad you're not angry", Masayoshi said.

Aikawa smiled back at him, her face still flushed.

"Are you both finished working?", Masayoshi suddenly asked.

"I think we are done for the day actually", Aikawa said, checking her work schedule.

Usagi raised an eyebrow.

"Aikawa-san should we go over the manuscript once more. I feel as though I may have missed something", Usagi lied.

"We went over it four times already. There's no need to do it again", Aikawa said looking at him.

"Oh...we did", Usagi said.

"Are you in a hurry, Aikawa-san", Masayoshi asked.

Aikawa turned to him and spoke.

"Oh no...not at all. It's just that Usami-san has very **important **business to attend to. And I don't want to keep him.", Aikawa said, glancing at Usagi.

He knew that Aikawa was trying to make him go home so that he would talk to Misaki. But he felt like he couldn't do it. Not now. He was still angry and upset.

"It's taken care of. I have time", Usagi said.

Aikawa cast him a warning glance but he ignored it.

"Oh perfect timing. Would you both care to go out to eat with me?", Masayoshi offered.

"I could eat", Usagi said, suddenly, without thinking, he could see Aikawa looking at him with shock beside him. He was just at surprised at himself. Usagi hated meeting new people and socializing. In fact, it was the thing he hated most about his work. But he felt that he needed some distraction. Something to keep his mind off of Misaki.

"Aikawa-san is coming also", Usagi said, looking at her. Her eyes said otherwise. She looked worried. Usagi quickly shook off her gaze and handed Aikawa her purse. He picked up his own briefcase from the table and stood by the door where Masayoshi was waiting. Together, all three of them made their way down the escalator and out of the building. Usagi knew that he was not going to leave his car at Murakawa so Aikawa and him decided that they would follow Masayoshi to the restaurant. They pulled up to a large and expensive restaurant in that was situated in front of a rose garden.

"Let's eat outside", Masayoshi suggested.

"We could...but inside would be better", Usagi said, walking towards the entrance.

"Either is fine", Aikawa said.

"Inside it is then", Masayoshi said as they made their way into the restaurant. Masayoshi walked to the guest to ask for room for the three of them. Moments later, a waiter led them to a table inside of a darkly lit dining room. As they walked towards their table, all eyes tuned on the trio. It wasn't surprising, seeing how Usagi was a famous author with looks to boot, and Masayoshi was very handsome himself. Aikawa also got glances from people herself, making her feel self conscious. They were all happy when they finally reached their table and sat down. The waiter gave them menus and they ordered their food. After fifteen minutes, the waiter came back with their food and left. For a few moments, they at in silence before Masayoshi spoke.

"You're both very quiet", he commented lightly.

"Ah, excuse us. We just really don't know how to have a friendly conversation with someone who works with us", Aikawa said, smiling.

"Oh it's quite alright", Masayoshi said.

"I'm the same. I'm very shy around the people I work with as well", he said, taking another bite of his food.

"Really? You don't act like it", Usagi said, taking a sip of his wine. Aikawa stepped on his foot underneath the table. Usagi cast her angry glance in response.

Masayoshi laughed slightly.

"You two are very funny you know", Masayoshi said, smiling.

"Making fun of us?", Aikawa said, jokingly.

"Quite the opposite", Masayoshi said.

"I think it's very nice that you and Usami-sensei are so close. His girlfriend must be fuming", he said, laughing.

Aikawa tensed.

"They...really don't mind at all. In fact we're good friends.", Aikawa said.

"Oh I see", Masayoshi said and then turned to face Usagi.

"It's good to see that you all have such a good relationship", Masayoshi said, his eyes glinting.

"Yes. It is", Usagi said, stiffly.

Trying to change the subject, Aikawa spoke up.

"That reminds me Masayoshi-san", Aikawa said.

"Hmmm?", he said looking at her.

"What about you, Masayoshi-san? Are you seeing anyone?", Aikawa asked, suddenly feeling protective of Usagi.

Masayoshi let laughed.

"Me? Oh no.", Masayoshi said, still laughing.

Aikawa was surprised at his response.

"Really?", she asked surprised.

"Getting back at me for earlier?", Masayoshi asked, jokingly.

"No, no. I'm just really surprised. Women look at you everywhere you go", Aikawa said.

"Well thank you for the compliment", Masayoshi said, smiling.

"But I never do that well in relationships. And I'm a little too old to start now", he said, smiling.

"Old? You?", Aikawa said.

Masayoshi looked up at her further, his eyes slightly surprised.

"I don't mean to be rude...but how old are you if you don't mine me asking", Aikawa said.

"I'm forty seven", Masayoshi said, simply.

Usagi dropped his utensils on the floor. He couldn't help it. It came as a surprise to him that Masayoshi was thirteen years older than him. And ten years older than Aikawa. Speaking of which, she looked just as shocked, more so even. Her eyes were threatening to pop out of their sockets. Masayoshi frowned slightly.

"I supposed you both think I'm an old geezer", he said.

"No! Of course not! We're just really surprised. I mean...you don't look forty seven at all! You look so young", Aikawa exclaimed. Masayoshi laughed.

"Thank you. I don't feel so bad anymore", he said, smiling.

The three of them ate and talked for another hour and a half. Aikawa seemed to be having the best time of all. Everytime Masayoshi spoke to her, she blushed. It was obvious the woman had a crush on him. Aikawa glanced down at her watch and sucked in a quick breath.

"It's already past four! I'm supposed to email Isaka-san on Usami-sensei's status and meet with one of my supervisors!", she exclaimed, hopping to her feet.

"Leaving already?", Masayoshi asked.

"Yes!", Aikawa chirped. She began to reach into her purse to pull out her wallet but Masayoshi stopped her.

"You don't have to pay. It's my treat", he said, smiling.

Aikawa blushed at the contact. She then turned her attention to Usagi.

"Usami-sensei don't you have to leave too?", she asked, a knowing look on her face.

"I'll leave when I'm ready to", Usagi said, coolly.

Aikawa looked at him but didn't say anything.

"May I walk you to your car, Aikawa-san?", Masayoshi asked.

"Eh? You don't have to", Aikawa said.

"It'd be my pleasure", Masayoshi said, getting up.

He looked at Usagi for a moment.

"Will you be leaving soon as well, Usami-sensei?", he asked.

Usagi shrugged.

"I can stay a while longer", he said, taking another sip of his drink.

"I'll see you when I come back then", Masayoshi said, gesturing for Aikawa to grab his arm.

Aikawa cast one last worried look over her shoulder before, taking Masayoshi's arm and walking towards the exit with him. Once they were out of sight, Usagi pulled out his cell phone and flipped it open. There were no missed calls from Misaki. Usagi felt that he was losing his will to stay away from Misaki, even though he was still angry with him. He dialed Misaki's number and put the phone to his ears. It went straight to voicemail. He called three more times and there was still no answer. Misaki obviously wasn't going to pick up his phone. Usagi closed the phone and stuffed it back in his pocket. He scratched his head in frustration, so many thought racing through his mind. In his mind, Usagi couldn't help but picture Misaki and Ijuuin together. Laughing together, touching each other. It was driving him mad. He pulled the wine bottle out of its ice back and poured himself a glass, filling it to the brim. He downed it all in three big gulps. The bubbly sensation on his tongue felt good. He poured himself another glass, and another. Before he knew it, Usagi had drunk the entire contents of the wine bottle, not leaving even a drop back. He sat back in the chair, still holding his glass. Usagi felt that that he wanted to get drunk. He wanted to make his mind feel fuzzy and blurry so that he could forget this insecurity that he was feeling. But a bottle and a half of wine wasn't going to do it. Unfortunately, unlike Misaki, he had a high tolerance for alcohol. He thought about ordering more wine, but waiters across the dining room were staring, probably because they had seen him pour himself so many glasses. And Usagi didn't feel like getting kicked out of anywhere today. From the entrance area, he could see Masayoshi walking towards him. Once seated Masayoshi's eyes wandered to the empty bottles of wine.

"You sure can drink, Usami-sensei", he said, laughing.

"Yeah", Usagi grunted.

He held his empty wine glass in his hand, looking at it sadly, as if he were willing it to be filled again. Masayoshi smiled at him.

"If it's drinking you want, there's a nice bar not too far from here", Masayoshi said, smiling.

Usagi looked up.

"Is there?", Usagi asked.

Masayoshi nodded. "

"Very comfortable setting. Dark and private.", Masayoshi said.

"Let's go then", Usagi said, standing up from the table. He grabbed his briefcase and together they walked out.

* * *

**A/N: Please rate and comment! ^0^**


	49. Chapter 49: Let Me Buy You A Drink

**A/N: OK readers! Here is chapter 49! Enjoy everyone!**

* * *

It was only a five minute drive to get to the bar driving. Masayoshi had offered to drive Usagi on his own car, but he refused. He wasn't drunk. Usagi never got drunk. He always made sure to stop before he even get the slightest feeling of being tipsy. The high alcohol tolerance level helped. They pulled up to a three story building hidden in trees. It was just what Usagi was looking for. They both parked their cars in the street and made their way into the building. Inside the bar, it was cozy. There was no other word to describe it. It was very dark and inside there was barely anyone seated. Secluded and dark. Exactly what Usagi wanted. It was very large and had all the amenities of a bar and more. There were shelves of hundreds, maybe thousands of different wines and beers, probably any type of alcohol that was known to man.

"Do you want to sit at the bar or at a table?", Masayoshi asked.

"A table", Usagi said.

"Perfect", Masayoshi said.

They sat in a table at the back, where no one was and Masayoshi gestured for a waiter to come over.

"Diachi, how's it going?", a waitress said walking up to the table.

Usagi could see she was very young, maybe Misaki's age, or even younger. Despite her casual tone, she was blushing.

"It's going great. How about you?", Masayoshi asked.

"Oh, same old, same old. Oh yeah. Congratulations on your promotion,", the waitress said, bowing.

"Thanks. But how did you know about it?", Masayoshi asked.

The waitress laughed.

"It was all over the news!", she exclaimed, smiling.

"Oh yeah. That's right", Masayoshi said, grinning.

The waitress' blush deepened and she looked away for a moment, trying to calm herself.

"Ah how rude of me", Masayoshi said.

"Soko, this over here is Usami Akihiko. My friend and co-worker", he said, gesturing to Usagi.

Usagi smiled and nodded a hello.

"Wait...the Usami Akihiko. As in the famous novelist?", Soko asked.

"The one and only", Masayoshi said.

"Oh wow...It's a pleasure to meet you. I read all your books. You're an amazing writer!", she said.

Masayoshi laughed.

"I won't ask for an autograph or anything...but it's really nice to meet you. Oh damn...I must be interrupting as meeting or something.", she said, putting her face to her hands.

Masayoshi laughed again.

"Not exactly. Me and Usami-sensei just needed a drink.", he said.

Soko smiled and nodded.

"Speaking of which...what can I get for you guys?", she asked taking out a pen and pad.

"I'll take five beers", Masayoshi said.

He turned to Usagi.

"Usami-sensei, what about you? Get anything you want.", Masayoshi said.

The author felt the cell phone in his pocket. The one one that Misaki did not answer.

"Anything I want?", Usagi said.

"Yes. Well as long as it's legal", Masayoshi said, with a short laugh.

Usagi turned to the waitress and spoke.

"OK then. Get me a bottle of absinthe, and a bottle of vodka'", Usagi said.

"Got it". Soko said, writing it down, and turning to leave.

"Wait one more thing. I want a bottle of everclear on the side", Usagi said.

"Right", Soko said, and walked away.

When she was gone, Masayoshi turned to Usagi.

"Are you sure you can handle that. Everclear is the strongest alcohol out there", he said, smiling.

"I can", Usagi answered.

"Fine by me", Masayoshi said. A few moments later, another waiter came to their table with their drinks. Usagi immediately poured himself a tall glass of vodka and quickly drank it. Pouring himself another, he did the same thing. Masayoshi drank his beer, watching Usagi closely. After a few minutes, Usagi finished the bottle of vodka and moved onto his other drink, pouring some of the everclear in it. He repeatedly drank tall glasses of the absinthe and finished it in ten minutes. He sat back in his chair ans slumped his shoulders.

"Something you need to get off your chest?", Masayoshi asked.

"No", Usagi said in a low voice.

"I really don't think that's the case", Masayoshi said, eying the empty bottles.

Usagi grunted and reached for one of Masyoshi's beers. He opened the can with a pop and chugged it. When he was done he put the empty can down and wiped his mouth with his forearm. He was about to reach for another beer when Masayoshi put his arm out, stopping him.

"Usami-sensei, you are too much of an intelligent man to drown you sorrows in alcohol". Masayoshi said.

Usagi clicked his teeth in annoyance but did not say anything more.

"Relationships...", Usagi grumbled in a low voice.

"Excuse me?", Masayoshi asked.

"Relationships...are pointless aren't they?", Usagi said.

"Oh...I see...having lady troubles are we?", Masayoshi said, looking at Usagi.

The author couldn't help but look away.

"Well I don't know about relationships being pointless...but they do help you grow. Take it from an older man. If you truly love the person, then it's not pointless", Masayoshi said, opening another beer and drinking it. After finishing it, he put the empty can down and looked at Usagi.

"Love comes in all shapes and forms. Either way, you'll learn from them and grow as a person", Masayoshi said.

"Yeah", Usagi said, simply.

"Well since you don't seem to feel so sad anymore...I think we could drink and not feel bad about it in the morning", Masayoshi said. He spotted a waiter a little ways away.

"Waiter! Can we get a couple of silver tequila shots?", he called to the waiter.

"Sure thing, Daichi!", the waiter said in response. In a moment he had gone to the back to get their drinks.

"That's Ryo. He always sneaks me extra free of charge", Masayoshi said, playing with his beer can.

Usagi raised an eyebrow.

"Do you come here a lot?", he asked.

Masayoshi laughed.

"That sounds like a pick up line, Usami-sensei. Are you going to buy me a long island iced tea next?", he asked jokingly and Usagi couldn't help but smile at his confidence.

"Not a chance", Usagi said, still smiling.

The waiter came back with a plater of shots and placed it on the table between Usagi and Masayoshi.

"It's happy hour now", Masayoshi said, rubbing his hands together.

Usagi smirked.

"It just might be", he said.

Masayoshi picked up a shot glass and raised it in his hand.

"I propose a toast. To relationships", Masayoshi said.

Usagi raised his own shot glass.

"And to the good...and the bad that comes with them", Usagi said.

They clinked their glasses and swung their heads back and drank to the toast.

* * *

**A/N: Alright guys so knowing me as a writer, you all probably know that in my stories that are like this, something has to go wrong, especially since it's Misaki and Usagi I'm writing about :/  
**

**Ummm...hrnnn...I guess you all know where this is going to lead now don't you. But I'm gonna warn you all right now anyway that things do not get any better...in fact they go downhill in a negative and fast pace, that even I, as the writer don't know what the hell happened O_O''  
**

**So umm...let me give a shout out to damons-hot-as-hell for her comment...and let me also answer yes...'Usagi is going to do what you think he's going to do', and I know that you've all been thinking it actually...so I hope you along with all the other readers don't hate me for it when it happens O_O''  
**

**And now I am going to take an hour break so that I can mentally prepare myself for the action of posting that damn chapter that comes out next where it's just...horrible...all of you are seriously going to hate me for it...no despise me...that's about right...I am going to burn a lot of bridges on this one huh? O_O''  
**

**Please...rate and comment V_V  
**


	50. Chapter 50: The Point of No Return

**A/N: Chapter 50 my fellow writers and readers! I know you've all been waiting for this! Enjoy! :)  
**

* * *

As the hours went by and the two men engaged themselves in conversation, talking about work at first, and then easing themselves into other Topics as well. Usagi learned that Masayoshi lived in the same area that he had when he was growing up, but then moved away to be with his mother, who was sick at the time. It came as a shock to Usagi. But then he remembered that Masayoshi was older than him and that was the reason.

"I like my job, but the meetings are what's killing me. There's no point to them. And on top of that Aikawa and Isaka insist on dragging me off to social events when they know I hate it", Usagi said, drinking a glass of bourbon.

"I know how you feel. Those meetings are brutal.", Masayoshi said, taking chugging his bastard on the beach drink.

"Who wants to sit in a chair for six hours listening to someone tell you how well you're doing? My ass hurts just from thinking about it", Usagi said, pouring himself another drink.

"Oh...I see...so it wasn't me you hated it was the meeting", Masayoshi said.

"What do you mean?", Usagi asked.

"I thought you hated me when we first met in Hokkaido", Masayoshi said.

"No I did", Usagi said, simply.

He took another swig at his drink.

"You were acting like a know it all. I had to put you in your place. It was my duty", Usagi said.

"How noble of you", Masayoshi said.

The time passed by and they continued to drink. They finished three platters of tequila shots, a numerous quantity of beer, and other drinks as well. Usagi knew that he had a very high tolerance for alcohol but he could feel himself getting tipsy as the minutes went by. In another hour, he was completely drunk. He was hiccuping and could barely hold a keep his eyes focused on anything for more than a few seconds. Masayoshi on the other hand was nowhere as drunk. In truth, he was tipsy, but nowhere as close as Usagi was. He finished the drink that was in his hands and poured himself another. He was about to drink it, when Masayoshi gently took it from his hand.

"I think you've had enough, Usami-sensei", Masayoshi said, smiling. A hiccup escaped from his lips and he quickly covered his mouth with his hand in embarrassment.

"I guess...you have too", Usagi slurred.

"Hey now. I am nowhere...as near as drunk as you", Masayoshi said.

"You're as wasted as I am", Usagi said.

"I'm tipsy", Masayoshi shot back.

Usagi fumbled for his phone in his pocket and pulled it out. He opened his phone and saw that Misaki had still not called him. It was very disheartening for the author. He quickly shut the phone and stuffed it back into his pocket.

"Waiting for a call?", Masayoshi asked.

"Yeah. For one that's not going to come", Usagi grumbled in disappointment.

He looked into space.

"Misaki...won't call me", Usagi said.

"Oh?...Misaki? Is that his name?", Masayoshi asked.

Usagi turned his unfocused eyes to stare at him.

"Don't be alarmed. I knew from the very first time I saw you", Masayoshi said.

"Is is really...that obvious?", Usagi said, groggily.

"No, of course not. It's...uh...", Masayoshi trailed off.

He scratched his head.

"I forget what I was...going to say", he said.

Usagi chuckled.

"This amuses you?", Masayoshi asked.

"It does", Usagi said, hiccupping again.

"What I was going to say was...you look so...disinterested...around...women", Masayoshi said, slowly.

Usagi cocked his head sideways and looked at him.

"So what's...going on with this...uh...Misaki...fellow?", he asked.

Usagi rubbed his neck in frustration.

"He...he went over to another guy's house...and slept there. And he wants me to think nothing happened...

-hic-...when he won't tell me a-anything else", Usagi slurred.

"So he cheated on you did he?", Masayoshi said.

"A-and today is our anniversary. I busted my ass get home early...a-and he was having lunch with the guy!", Usagi said.

Masayoshi looked at Usagi and grinned.

"His loss", he said.

"Oh?", Usagi said and hiccupped again.

Masayoshi nodded.

"You're so handsome...Usami-sensei", he said looking into Usagi's eyes.

He leaned in closer.

"And your eyes...their absolutely gorgeous", Masayoshi said, leaning in close to Usagi from across the table.

Usagi blushed. He couldn't help it. Masayoshi leaned in closer, his lips on Usagi's ears.

"Your face... Your hair", Masayoshi said, pulling back slightly.

"...your lips...", he said running a finger a long Usagi's lips.

"Everything about you...", Masayoshi whispered, leaning forwards to Usagi. He next thing he knew, Masayoshi's lips were on his own. Usagi knew that he should pull away. He knew that he should push Masayoshi away and punch him square in the jaw as he normally would have. Tell him that he already had Misaki and there was no one else for him, that there could be no one else. But he didn't. Masayoshi's tongue gently slid its way past Usagi's lips and rubbed along his teeth, begging for entrance into his mouth. Usagi still did not push him away. Instead, he granted Masayoshi's tongue entrance into his mouth, allowing it to dance with his own. The kiss was something that Usagi had never experienced before. It was hot and full of lust. It made his body tingly and hot. He could feel his entire body flush with heat. It was probably the way that he made Misaki feel when he kissed him. After a few moments more, Masayoshi slowly pulled away. Usagi was surprised to that he was panting slightly. The kiss had taken his breath away. Masayoshi sat back in his chair, leaning his elbows on the table, leaning towards Usagi. He seductively licked his lips and looked at Usagi.

"God...you're an amazing kisser", Masayoshi said, smiling.

Usagi felt his face suddenly flush.

"So adorable", Masayoshi said, looking into Usagi's eyes.

The author turned away, to hide his embarrassment.

"I've been wanting to do that for the longest. It's amazing I've restrained myself until now", Masayoshi said.

Usagi looked up, his face still flushed.

"Is...-hic-...that so?", Usagi asked.

Masayoshi smiled and reached his hand across the table to meet Usagi's.

"It is", Masayoshi said.

"So...-hic-...you're into men then?", Usagi asked.

"No...I'm into you", Masayohsi said.

The author felt his face flush once again.

"But...you...-hic-...barely even know me", Usagi said grinning.

"On the contrary...Usami-san...I've been watching you for a long time now. Your books captivate me", Masayoshi said.

Usagi laughed lightly.

"So...-hic-...it's the books you love", Usagi said.

"Your novels also", Masayoshi said simply smiling at him sexily.

"What...hic...do you want...-hic-...really?", Usagi asked, grinning again.

Masayoshi looked at Usagi, his stunning silver eyes burning into his own.

"You", Masayoshi said, as he leaned forward again and pulled Usagi into him. He kissed Usagi so strongly and possessively that the author immediately felt himself giving into the kiss, his entire body engulfed with an intense heat of his heightened pleasure. After a couple of minutes, Masayoshi ran his tongue along Usagi's lips before pulling away once again.

"I want to, Usami-san", Masayoshi said, sexily.

Out of nowhere, Soko came to their table, gawking at the empty cans, bottles, and shot glasses.

"Well someone's having a good time", she said.

"Indeed...we are", Masayoshi said slowly.

"Not too much fun I hope. Will you be OK to drive?", she asked, as she began cleaning up.

"I'm buzzed at most. I can still drive.", Masayoshi said.

"Him on the other hand...", Masayoshi said, gesturing to Usagi.

"Is in...no condition to...operate a vehicle", Masayoshi said.

He got out of his chair and walked over to Usagi, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"I'll be taking him home", he said, pulling Usagi in closer to him.

"You sure you're OK to drive? I can call you guys a cab or something.", Soko said.

Masayoshi looked at Usagi again.

"No. it's fine. I've consumed more alcohol that this before. I can take him home.", Masayoshi said.

"Lucky him", Soko said, picking up the last of the glasses and winking at him. She gave one last wave and left. When she was gone Masayoshi turned to Usagi.

"I'd better got you home", Masayoshi said, draping his jacket over Usagi's shoulder.

"Go…-hic- where?", Usagi asked.

"Your place of course", Masayoshi said. He looked at Usagi and smiled.

"You need to sleep that alcohol off", Masayoshi said.

He chuckled lightly and spoke again.

"You're going to have one hell of a hangover in the morning", he said, still chuckling.

"No I won't...I have a...-hic-...fast metabolism", Usagi said groggily.

"Alright then...come on", Masayoshi said, putting money on the table.

"A true gentleman always pays for his date", he said looking at Usagi and grinning.

"What...-hic- makes you think this is a...date?", Usagi asked.

Masayoshi grinned at him again.

"Well...Think about it...dinner and drinks.", he said.

"Oh", Usagi said.

Masayoshi moved closer to Usagi, pressing his large hand in the small of Usagi's back.

"So...Usami-san...the next thing would be...me taking you to bed right?", Masayoshi whispered in the author's ear. Usagi shivered, feeling Masayoshi's hot breath in his ear. His face flushed again.

"That...sounds...-hic-...about right", Usagi said grinning handsomely.

Masayoshi grinned back at him.

"Well then...shall we?", Masayoshi asked, gesturing towards the door. Usagi shakily stood. His legs felt like rubber, like they were boneless. He took a step forward and nearly lost his footing. Masayoshi caught him and Usagi pressed his face against his chest. Usagi found himself deeply inhaling Masayoshi's scent, which was a mixture of expensive cologne and jasmine.

"Watch your step", Masayoshi said.

"I wouldn't want you breaking anything...before I get the chance to", he said seductively.

"You smell nice". Usagi said, groggily.

"Thank you", Masayoshi said, smiling.

"You're...welcome", Usagi said. He tried to stand again but fell back into Masayoshi's chest.

"I'd better help you walk", Masayoshi said.

He pulled Usagi into him and placed a secure hand on the side of his waist, pulling Usagi in close to his own body. Usagi face flushed once again, feeling the solidness of Masayoshi's large frame against his own. He rested his head in the croon of Masayoshi's neck.

"Hmmm? What's this?", Masayoshi said, looking at Usagi.

"I was...-hic-...thinking that it's nice to be...with someone who's taller than me", Usagi said.

"Well...I'm happy that I meet your tastes", Masayoshi said, smiling. With Usagi holding onto him, he walked them to the door, making sure to go slowly so that Usagi didn't trip. Masayoshi practically had to walk Usagi to the door, literally, making sure that he put his feet in front of the other.

"Leaving already? Well it's about time. You and your friend have been here forever". Soko said, walking up and opening the door for them.

"Well Usami-san and I have been here for a while. It was happy hour after all", Masayoshi said smiling. He gave one last nod to Soko and walked out the door with Usagi. Usagi nestled his head on Masayoshi's cheek, brushing his soft silver hair against his skin. He smiled at seeing Usagi's lavender eyes that looked up at him innocently.

"The real fun...is about to start", Masayoshi said, opening his car door and gently sitting Usagi inside. He buckled his seatbelt and walked around the driver's side of the car. He got in and started the engine. Turning his head to face Usagi, Masayoshi spoke.

"Where do you live, Usami-sensei?", Masayoshi asked.

"I...Uh...I don't quiet remember", Usagi said, smiling.

"That's what I thought", Masayoshi said, laughing.

Usagi began laughing himself, smiling happily.

"Do you at least remember the street name", Masayoshi asked.

"Uh...-hic-...yeah...it's...", Usagi trailed off.

Masayoshi pulled out his blackberry and pressed the screen a couple of times.

"Oh...now I got the address...you live in a very nice neighborhood", Masayoshi commented.

"Wow ….how did you find it?...it's like you did magic", Usagi said, smiling goofily.

"No magic here, Usami-san. Just the perks that comes with being the CEO", Masayoshi said , smiling.

He pulled out into the street and began the drive to Usagi's place. The drive to Usagi's condominium apartment complex was quick. It went by in a blur to Usagi, who was feel surprisingly happy. Halfway through the drive home, he had started laughing for no apparent reason and would not stop. The only time he paused his laugher was when Masayoshi would talk to him, and then he would continue his laughing, finding something funny whenever Masayoshi spoke to him. They pulled up to Usagi's place and parked in the street. Shutting off the car engine, Masayoshi got out and walked to the passenger side and then opened the door for Usagi. He helped the author inside on his building, letting him lean on him. As they walked in, people couldn't help but stare at them. It wasn't just because they were both handsome, but more as they were surprised to see the novelist acting so closely with another person besides Misaki. Though no one in the building knew about their relationship, many were shocked to see him in the arms of another man. He walked them over to the customer service area and waited at the counter until an attendant came over.

"Hello sir. How may I help you?", the attendant asked, looking at Usagi who had hunched over on Masayoshi's shoulder.

"Ah, well you see...my friend here...had a little too much to drink...I wanted to take him home, which is here...but he doesn't seem to remember his entrance code, nor does he have a key on him. I was wondering if it would be possible to have someone open his door.", Masayoshi said, coolly. He pulled Usagi's ID out of his pocket and handed it to the man.

"Oh. Yes. My apologies...I didn't...recognize him...", the attendant said, looking at Usagi again.

"He's had a rough week", Masayoshi said.

"I'll send someone to open his door right away", the attendant said.

"Thank you", Masayoshi said, and led Usagi to the elevator. Taking it up to the Usagi's floor, Masayoshi led the author to his condominium apartment, where another worker was already waiting by the door, holding it opened for them. Masayoshi nodded his thanks and walked through the door, the worker closing it behind them as they made their way inside. Usagi started laughing once again, as they made their way further inside.

"What's so funny?", Masayoshi asked, looking at him.

"Nothing...,it's just...that...I thinking...I forgot where I put my car", Usagi said, laughing again.

"We left it at the bar remember? You couldn't drive it.", Masayoshi said, smiling.

"I...-hic-...bet I could have", Usagi said.

"Oh please. You would have killed yourself", Masayoshi said.

"Yeah...I...-hic-...guess you're right...I would have died in an accident...just like...-hic...Misaki's parents did", Usagi said.

"You lover's parents died in a car crash?", Masayoshi asked.

"Yep", Usagi answered back.

"How sad. My condolences", Masayoshi said, smiling.

"Yeah", Usagi said.

"I bet you were his knight in shining armor that rescued him", Masayoshi said.

"Yeah...and...-hic-...it still wasn't good enough for him", Usagi said.

"Well you're plenty good enough for me", Masayoshi said, pressing Usagi into a wall. He leaned in close to the croon of Usagi's neck.

"Everything about you is beautiful. You're absolutely magnificent", he whispered in Usagi's ear, causing him to shiver in delight. Masayoshi pressed his body closer to Usagi and cupped his face between his hands and kissed him deeply, his tongue gaining immediate entrance into Usagi's mouth. Usagi returned the kiss, slipping his own tongue past Masayoshi's lips and entering his mouth. The kiss was so much more that he had ever experienced before. It was hot and full of lust, and very arousing. It made Usagi feel as though he were on fire. Without even thinking, Usagi wrapped his arms around Masayoshi's strong neck and pulled him in closer, deepening the kiss further and closing the space that was between them. Masayoshi kissed Usagi's neck and jaw, letting his tongue leave a thin trail of saliva on his skin. They continued to kiss and grope each other, allowing their hands to explore each other's bodies through their clothes. The kissed one another lustfully and hungrily, barely leaving any room for them to breath. Moans began escaping from Usagi's lips. It was pure bliss. Usagi had to admit it. Even in his drunken state, he could still tell good from bad, and Masayoshi's touch felt like heaven on his skin. Just the feel of Masayoshi's breath on his skin made Usagi feel hot with arousal, so much that he could barely take it. He didn't know how to handle such a feeling. During their kissing Usagi felt Masayoshi's hand slide its way between his crotch, gently caressing it with his palms. The sudden touch caused Usagi to cry out.

"Nnnnn...Ahh!", Usagi moaned, as Masayoshi continued touching him.

Masayoshi ran his tongue along Usagi's chin and the edges of his lips.

"You surprise me, Usami-san. I never thought I would see this side of you", Masayoshi said, smiling seductively.

Usagi moaned again.

"Are we...going to do it now...or are you gonna keep...talking?", Usagi asked between his moans.

"You are very eager...I like it", Masayoshi said, smiling. He took Usagi's hand in his own and placed it inside his opened pants. Usagi could feel a very large and hard erection in his hand.

"But...I may be even more ready than you are, Usami-san", Masayoshi said, seductively.

Usagi moaned in pleasure at feeling the hot length in his hand. He slid his fingers further into Masayoshi's underwear and stroked the tip with his finger. Masayoshi let a lustful moan escape from his lips.

"You're...very good at that...", he said hotly. A smile spread its way across Usagi's lips.

"Then...let's take this...to the bedroom", Usagi said, hotly.

That was all it took. In another instant, Masayoshi was hungrily kissing Usagi once again, taking off his shoes as they moved. Still kissing hotly and nonstop, they made their way into the bedroom, occasionally bumping along furniture on the way there. Masayoshi pushed Usagi down on the bed and kissed his hard and passionately. He took off Usagi's sweater and then began working on undoing the buttons of his dress shirt. His fingers worked quickly and efficiently, unbuttoning all the buttons in seconds flat, not having to fumble at all. Masayoshi really knew what he was doing. Usagi suddenly felt even more aroused than he already was, thinking about how manly and seductive Masayoshi was.

"What are you thinking about?", Masayoshi asked, smiling.

"Nothing really...just...about...how it's nice to have someone else take the league...for a change", Usagi said groggily.

Masayoshi smiled.

"Well OK then...how about I be the seme and you be the uke?", Masayoshi, suggested.

"That'll be...-hic-...some good material for my next work", Usagi said, grinning.

Masayoshi grinned back and undid the last of Usagi's buttons, exposing his chest and stomach. He ran a finger down Usagi's stomach, lingering on his opened pants.

"My...you have a lovely body...it's as if it was sculpted by heaven itself", Masayoshi whispered.

"How...nice of you", Usagi said slowly. Masayoshi took off his own shirt and tie and threw them to the floor, exposing his own body to Usagi. He had to admit that Masayoshi had an excellent body and physique. It was hard to believe that he was forty seven. His sculpted abs and muscular waste and back were amazing, as was the rest of him. He was flat muscled like Usagi, but had more of it. Every inch of his body was well defined and muscular, barely having an inch of fat on them. Masayoshi bent down and began kissing Usagi's neck, licking it with his warm tongue. He trailed kisses along his neck, before moving to his chest, where he began to lick and nibble on Usagi's already hard nipples. Usagi moaned in pleasure again, not being able to hold it in, no matter how hard he tried to. Masayoshi played with Usagi's nipples with his mouth and tongue for a few more minutes and then began kissing his stomach hotly and moved lower, until he reached Usagi's lower section of his body. He quickly took off Usagi's pants and threw them into the corner of the room. Instead of continuing, he smiled and stared downward.

"Well...you really are eager aren't you?", Masayoshi said, smiling. He eyed Usagi's large erection through his underwear. He bent down and sucked on Usagi's erected heat through his boxers and looked back up at Usagi. The author couldn't stop himself from moaning anymore. Whenever Masayoshi did something, he reacted to it. Usagi's erection grew in size again, making Masayoshi smile. He took off Usagi's boxers and stared down at his exposed heat.

"Usami-san...you're so beautiful...it makes my heart race", Masayoshi said, seductively. Usagi flinched in surprise when he felt Masayoshi's hot lips on his erected cock. He licked and nibbles on the tip at first, his warm tongue lapping it. Usagi let out a lout moan and his breath quickened. Masayoshi them took Usagi's full length into his mouth, taking it all in as he sucked and licked it. He cupped and played with Usagi's testicles as he did so, causing the author to only moan louder in response. In response the author began thrusting his hips forward, allowing his heat to enter Masayoshi's hot mouth further. He tangled his hands in Masayoshi's hair, bringing him closer into his hips. Still deep throating Usagi's cock, Masayoshi reached under Usagi and pushed a long, hot finger inside of his hole, making Usagi cry out in pleasure. He focused his attention back on Usagi's heat and continued his movements, sucking faster every second, his hand pulling back the skin as he put it in his mouth, rubbing it, which only increased the friction that Usagi was feeling. He was close.

"So...good...so good", Usagi moaned. He could feel himself reaching his limit.

"I'm...I'm going...to come", Usagi breathed through his gasps. Masayoshi did not look up. He continued his movements of his mouth. With an arch of the back and a cry, Usagi released into Masayoshi's mouth. Masayoshi swallowed it all, in one single gulp, and looked up at Usagi, cum still drizzling down his chin.

"You taste so good", Masayoshi said seductively, as he trailed his tongue around the insides of Usagi's thighs, running it up towards his stomach. Usagi couldn't help but flinch at the feel of Masayoshi's hot tongue on his skin. The feeling alone made him dizzy with pleasure. Masayoshi sat on his knees, looking at a dazed Usagi. He smiled down at him sexily, his handsome features contorted in an enticing smile. Usagi reached on of his hands up and gripped Masayoshi's heat between his hands, stroking it with his finger and caressing his sacks. In response, Masayoshi let out a throaty moan, clearly turned on by what the author was doing.

"Oh god...Usami-san", Masayoshi breathed.

"Where in the world did you learn to do that?", Masayoshi said, lustfully, rubbing his hands along Usagi's chest.

"Just...something I picked up", Usagi said, a goofy smile on his face.

"Well...I encourage you to continue", Masayoshi said, darkly. Usagi rubbed his hands all along Masayoshi's hot and erected cock, making him moan in his ecstasy. Pre cum was already drizzling down his large heat and onto Usagi's cupped hands. He bent his head lower to go down on Usagi again, but the author stopped him with his hands.

"You...already did that", Usagi said, teasingly.

Masayoshi smiled alluringly.

"I know but...you're so captivating...it makes me want to spoil you", Masayoshi said.

"I see...", Usagi said, trailing off . Masayoshi bent over, his face near Usagi's neck.

"I know a way...where we can both feel happy", Masayoshi whispered, hotly in Usagi's ear.

He sat Usagi up and placed him on top of him.

"Lie on my stomach and face my legs. Bend over me.", Masayoshi said. Usagi smiled and did as he was told. In a moment he was face to face with Masayoshi's large erection and his ass was toward Masayoshi. He took a moment to marvel at the swelled and erect organ that was before him. He reached a hand out and cupped it, feeling it pulsing in his hand.

"Like what you see?", Masayoshi asked, as he spread Usagi''s ass cheeks apart and stuck his tongue in his hole. Usagi moaned.

"You...you're...so big", Usagi exclaimed groggily. In truth Usagi had never seen a man with an organ the size of Masayoshi's. It made him blush unconsciously.

"Thank you. And you are as well", Masayoshi said, stroking Usagi's erection on the tip.

"Why don't you...give it the attention it deserves", Masayoshi said.

Usagi moaned as he felt Masayoshi's large hands squeeze his ass cheeks firmly.

"Suck me off", Masayoshi said, hotly, making Usagi shiver. He licked the tip of Masayoshi's length and then began deep throating it, just as Masayoshi had done for him. Masayoshi moaned blissfully as the movement of Usagi's hands massaging his sacks and the feel of Usagi's mouth over his heat. While he was pleasuring the cock that was in front of him, Usagi felt Masayoshi's long tongue in his hole, prodding and inserting it, making Usagi cry out in pleasure. It was something that he had never felt before. He couldn't even describe it to himself. Usagi moaned again, his hands gripping Masayoshi's knees, needing something to hold onto.

"Usami-san...your mouth stopped moving", Masayoshi said to him, as he sucked on Usagi's hole and stuck his tongue inside again. Usagi moaned again.

"I...your mouth...I-Unnng", Usagi moaned.

"Oh...you like this don't you?", Masayoshi said, teasingly, inserting his long finger inside of Usagi's hole. The author groaned loudly.

"Why don't you keep going?...I'll reward you for it later", Masayoshi said, hotly. Usagi was too overcome by physical pleasure to even think of saying no. The only thing that he was feeling, was that he wanted more. He wanted Masayoshi to touch him more. Usagi bent back down between Masayoshi's thick, muscular thighs and continued sucking on Masayoshi's large, erected girth, while in return Masayoshi did the same for Usagi, every once in a while spread his butt cheeks apart and eating his ass out. Usagi never stopped making noise for even a second. It was too good. After a few more minutes, Usagi felt himself release into in Masayoshi's mouth again, for the second time. He sprawled out on top of Masayoshi, his head resting on his leg.

"That was...wow", Usagi, said, groggily, panting.

"That was just the warm up", Masayoshi said, as he effortlessly picked up Usagi and laid him down on the bed on his back. Masayoshi positioned himself on top of Usagi and looked down at him lustfully. He kissed Usagi with thirst and desire, allowing his tongue to lay hot kissed on Usagi's neck and chest, while, his fingers reached inside of Usagi, making sure he was ready. He sat up, still on top of Usagi and placed his knees underneath him.

"Where do you keep your lube?", Masayoshi asked,

"Do we...even...need it?", Usagi asked, smiling at him.

Masayoshi chuckled.

"Well no...but if you have any that's flavored...then it may be fun to lick it off later", Masayoshi said, smiling.

"Pervert", Usagi said.

"You like it though", Masayoshi said, smiling down at him.

"I...can't talk...", Usagi said.

"Yes. You're also a pervert aren't you?", Masayoshi said sexily.

"Maybe", Usagi responded.

"Well...I hope you're a masochist too...because I'm about to break you", Masayoshi whispered. He reached into Usagi's night stand drawer and pulled out a bottle of lubricant. He drizzled some of it on his still very hard and erect girth and smeared it all over it. Usagi trembled in anticipation. Squeezing more of the lube onto his fingers, Masayoshi pumped them in and out of Usagi's hole one more time, causing him to moan. He then placed Usagi's legs over his muscular shoulders and gripped his thighs. Usagi flinched when he felt Masayoshi's heat inch itself inside of his hole. It had been a while since he was the one who was on the receiving end of a sex session, over seventeen years to be precise, and he had forgotten how of felt. But man did it feel _good._ It made Usagi's insides shiver with pleasure at feeling the hot friction that he was now experiencing. Halfway in, Masayoshi thrusted his cock all the way inside of Usagi and began moving inside, pumping in and out of Usagi. The author cried out loudly in pleasure when he felt Masayoshi's heat hit his prostate. The sensation felt absolutely amazing. It made Usagi feel dizzy with ecstasy. Masayoshi continued his thrusting, never failing to hit Usagi's prostate in the process. Usagi's hips buckled at the pleasant pain he was feeling in his hips and hole. He began panting loudly and his breath quickened. Masayoshi leaned down and kissed his hotly on the mouth, still thrusting and playing with Usagi's hard nipples at the same time. Usagi continued his non stop moaning, filling the empty condo with his sounds of lust.

"Shit...you're amazing", Masayoshi grunted, still holding Usagi's legs over his shoulders and thrusting faster.

Usagi's screams of pleasure only heightened.

"Damn...you're so...tight", Masayoshi said in a deep voice. It made Usagi shiver. He could feel himself climaxing again. Masayoshi picked Usagi up again and sat him in his lap, penetrating Usagi's hole even deeper than he had before. Usagi found himself making noises that he never knew he could. He wrapped his arms tightly around Masayoshi's back, digging his nails into his skin. He didn't know how to handle the intense pleasure. Masayoshi kept thrusting for another hour. Neither of them seemed to be tired and were both fueled by their desire and lust.

"M-Masayoshi-san...I...I'm going to...", Usagi breathed.

"Oh yes...don't hold back", Masayoshi groaned in rapture. He thrusted faster and harder. On the final thrust, Usagi felt himself climax. He arched his back and threw his head back, crying out loudly as he came all over Masayoshi's stomach. Masayoshi himself moaned in pleasure as he came inside of Usagi, filling him with his thick, hot ejaculation. They stayed like that for a moment, before collapsing onto each other, breathing heavily.

"You were simply wonderful", Masayoshi said, planting a hot kiss on Usagi's neck.

"Nnnnnghhh", Usagi moaned sleepily. He closed his eyes and saw stars dancing in front of him. He couldn't see straight, so there was no point in keeping them open any longer. His head began spinning and he began to feel dizzy. He was just so tired. He didn't know what else to feel. His body ached, but he was too drunk to tell if it hurt in a good way or a bad way. He felt Masayoshi lie down next to him, wrapping his long arms around Usagi's waist and pulling him against his broad chest. The world spun in circles and then went black.

* * *

**A/N: Well now we _all _saw that coming didn't we? LOL. Oh snap! What the hell just happened? I'll tell you what...Usagi had some hot ass sex wit Masayoshi!I I salute the guest user, I'm sorry i don't know your name, else I would have given you a shout out, but you were right to have a bad feeling about this chapter. I'm really sorry to say that they did go to bed together good instincts by the way (gives you a thumbs up)...and...yeah...so that's how the cook crumbles...  
**

**You all have no idea how I felt when I finished this chapter last month...I was like 'what the hell is wrong with me?' I mean you all know how much I freaking LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Misaki and Usagi as a couple right? So I was really surprised at myself when I wrote this. ****OK and I know that some of you were all confused as to who actually betrayed who in this story and I'm gonna tell you all right now...here is the answer. I mean you all probably knew where this was going since chapter 49. I think I told you anyway. So...ashurikun...LOL...maybe this will clear things up**. It's Usagi who screws everything up...Or was it Misaki? O_O''  


**I'm actually not really sure...I could have been mistakes made on both sides. A guest user (I would have included their user name if i could) pointed out that Misaki should have never gone over to Ijuuin's house in the first place...But come on now! We all _know_ how naive and sympathetic Misaki can be...it's why we all love him! And at least he didn't have sex with Ijuuin! But really I encourage you all to leave comments saying who you think was more at fault. (not saying that there is someone to blame, but there probably is)  
**

**I for one feel that Usagi is at fault...but It's only cause'...well...you know...I just really like Misaki... :/  
**

**Oh and I know that this is rambling and I probably don't even need to say this but in the sex scene I was describing position 69...Sorry I just really felt like that needed to get out there. Sorry for talking so much!  
**

**Please rate and comment! ^0^  
**


	51. Chapter 51: Discovery

Misaki turned to the final page of The Kan manga he was reading and sat back in his reclined seat. Stretching his arms, he let out a loud yawn and rubbed his eyes. Looking down at his watch, he saw that it was past eleven, almost midnight. He was relieved when he learned that the manga café was opened late this Saturday due to the manga convention that had just passed. It was an excellent place for him to kill time. Misaki had actually fallen asleep in the chair a couple of hours ago, a book draped over his face. The quiet time alone made him feel more relaxed so that he could better gather his thoughts.

_I __guess __I __should __go __back __home_, Misaki thought sadly.

_But...Usagi-san...he's __still __mad __at __me...I-what's __the __point __of __going __home __if __Usagi-san __is __just __gonna __ignore __me?_, Misaki thought , suddenly feeling very cold. He rubbed his arms, in attempt to get rid of the goose bumps that he could feel starting to form on his skin.

_I-I __could __go __over __to __Todo's __house __for __the __night...and __stay __there...maybe-...No...I __mean...I __have __to __go __home...make __Usagi-san __understand...that __I __only __l-love __him. __I __can't __just __run __away_, Misaki thought resolutely.

He grabbed his bag and swung it over his shoulder. He then picked up the bag with Usagi's present in it and walked out the entrance. Outside was dark and chilly. Misaki wrapped his sweater closer to his body and kept walking. It was only a five minute walk to the train station from where he was in downtown Tokyo. Misaki could already see the lights of the train station ahead. He quickly went into the station and bought a ticket from the ticket booth. As soon as he made his way down the platform, the train was already pulling itself onto the tracks, boarding passengers. He had made it just in time. Misaki didn't know if that was a good or bad thing. He boarded the train, which was seemingly empty and sat down in a seat, pressing Usagi's gift into his chest.

After a twenty minute ride, Misaki came to his stop and got off the train. He exited the train station, and began to walk home briskly, feeling the cool air run against his cheeks. After a couple minutes of walking, he slowed his pace, thinking of what he would say to Usagi to make him understand how much he meant to Misaki and how he would never do anything to hurt him. Everytime, Misaki thought of something, he found flaws in it and pushed it out of his mind. He didn't even know if there was anything he could say. Usagi trusted Misaki. He knew it. But Misaki had still made himself look guilty of cheating when he wouldn't tell Usagi why he had gone to Ijuuin's apartment in the first place or what they did when they were together. Misaki couldn't just tell Ijuuin's secrets to anyone. It would make him untrustworthy and a liar. He sighed and kept walking. The condominium complex was now in view. He walked across the street to the building and entered the doors. Misaki thought about taking the stairs just to put off seeing Usagi, who would most like still not speak to him, but the brunette stayed strong and decided that he would face the problem head on.

He made his way towards the elevator and took it up to their floor. He dialed the entrance code into the security keypad on the door and quietly made his way inside the condo. He shut the door so quietly behind him that he barely heard it himself. All the lights were off. Misaki took off his shoes by the door and walked further inside. He strained his ears, trying to pick up the familiar sounds of Usagi. His mug clinking on the glass table, his heavy footsteps on the carpeted floor, or his long fingers quietly hitting the keys on his keypad as he typed. There was nothing. Everything around him was silent. Misaki clicked on the light in the living room, but the author was nowhere in sight. Usagi's unpacked luggage was on the end of the couch. Misaki walked into the kitchen and saw that it was also empty.

He made his way out of the kitchen and into the living room. Glancing up at the staircase, he sighed heavily. He squeezed the bag he was holding tighter in his hand and slowly ascended the stairs, his feet making soft noises as he did so. He put his ear to the door and listened for any signs that the author was there working. Silence greeted him. Misaki raised he hand and knocked on softly on the door. There was no answer from the other end. He raised his hand and knocked louder and waited to a response. There was still nothing.

_Is-is __Usagi-san __ignoring __me?..._, Misaki thought sadly. He could feel his chest beginning to tighten with anxiousness.

_No...Usagi-san...he __wouldn't __do__ that...at __least __I __hope __not...he __would __at __least...answer __me...I_, Misaki thought trailing off. The silence coming from the other end of the door still stayed. There was no sound of movement from inside. He turned himself away from the door and walked three feet away.

_He's...he's __probably __not __home.__He's-he's __out __I __guess...but...I...I __need __to __talk __to __him._ Misaki thought sadly. He pulled out his phone from his pocket and scrolled down to Usagi's number. He pressed the call button and held it to his ear. As it began ringing, Misaki was about to make his way to his own room, when he heard something. It was the sound of Usagi's cell phone ringing. He traced his steps back to Usagi's door and stood listening. It was coming from Usagi's room.

_So-so __he __was __ignoring __me __then..._, Misaki thought sadly.

He walked closer to the bedroom door and stood in front of it, suddenly feeling very nervous. Misaki could still hear Usagi's phone ringing on the other side. He shut the phone shut and raised his hand and knocked softly, holding Usagi's gift bag to his chest. There was still no answer from the inside. He knocked louder and listened again but he was met with the same silence that had greeted him earlier.

_He-he __could __be __sleeping...either __way...I __have __to __talk __to __him...at __least __see __him_, Misaki thought. He knocked on the door again and there was still no answer. Taking a deep breath, Misaki slowly and quietly pushed opened the door.

"U-Usagi-san?", Misaki called gently through the door that was now creaked opened. His nose crinkled slightly when his nostrils were hit with a smell that was both strange yet very familiar at the same time. It was a sweaty, almost musky scent. And he could smell the strong scent of alcohol.

"Usagi-san?", Misaki called again, pushing the door open wider.

There was no answer.

"I...um...I know that y-you're still mad at me b-but-", Misaki started but stopped when he heard a muffled groan. Misaki that felt something was strange. The groan he heard...it sounded weird to him. Misaki, who had spent countless nights with Usagi knew all the sounds that the older man would make, when he was awake and asleep and the groan that he heard was not that of Usagi's. He heard the sheets shuffle on the bed again and Misaki walked into the room more. He did not want to put the light on because he didn't want to wake Usagi. Instead, he adjusted his eyes to the darkness and focused on the bed where Usagi was. He could see the older man sleeping, his head hung low against his arms, but he could see something more. Looking down the author's figure, Misaki could see an arm wrapped around Usagi's waist. Misaki felt his heart dislocate in his chest. He put his hand to his mouth to hold in the cry that was threatening to come out. His eyes burned with tears as he realized the one thing that he had feared most. In the bed wasn't one figure...there was another person in bed with Usagi.

* * *

**A/N: Well the cat's out of the bag now! :O**

**How will Misaki react to this? What will happen next? O_O''  
**

**Find out in chapter 52!  
**

**Please rate and comment!  
**


	52. Chapter 52: Shattered

**A/N: Alright finally! I got the document manager to work again! Praise shinjuku nakamura-sensei! OK so I tried really hard to make this chapter really sad...especially for Misaki :(**

**I also decided to rewrite one part of the story! But don't worry! Everything is all good! Chapter 52 everyone! Enjoy! ^_^  
**

* * *

Usagi groaned groggily as he tried opened his eyes, trying his best to focus them, which proved to be very difficult for him. He felt his brain pulsing against his skull, making him feel dizzy and disoriented. He felt confused and out of place. He tried his hardest to remember what had happened. But he could barely remember his own name. The harder he tried to put two and two together, the more he head hurt. Usagi already could tell that he had been drinking...heavily. He felt his knee from his long bent leg hanging off the bed so he slowly pushed himself on the bed towards the other end. As he did so, he could feel a hand hanging loosely around his waist. The hand was large and he could feel a strong and muscular arm attached to it. Next to him he could feel someone's body pressed against his. His back was pushed up against a muscular and hard chest. He felt a chill around himself, his body pressed into the sheets. He was naked. The author didn't know what to think. Nothing made sense to him. There was one thing that he knew for sure. It wasn't Misaki in his bed. Silent alarm rang inside of Usagi's head, thinking of what he had done.

_No...it's __not __possible...I __wouldn't...I __couldn't...please...no..._, Usagi thought alarmed, his eyes opening slowly.

He slowly sat up in bed and looked around his surroundings. Usagi saw his clothes sprawled across the floor and on the chair. He could also see another pair of clothes near the edge of the bed. Clothes that were not his own. Usagi was afraid to look down at the bed. He didn't want to see anymore. But he knew he had to. Sucking up his fear, Usagi glanced down at the bed. His fears were confirmed. Next to him was a man who was sleeping soundly, light snores escaping from his lips. He pushed himself further from the sleeping man and paused. He raised his hand from the sheets and stared at the sticky semen that now coated his entire hand. Usagi's eyes opened wide in shock and horror, seeing Masayoshi lying in his bed naked, like he was. Usagi now fully understand what had happened. The first thing that flew into his mind were thoughts of Misaki. His Misaki. The one who loved him, scolded him, took care of him, and made him feel loved no matter where he was. Usagi felt sick. He wanted to kick and punch Masayoshi, and tell him to get the hell out of his apartment. No, it was more than that. He wanted to kill Masayoshi and then himself. But he couldn't move. He was trapped in a trance that he couldn't bring himself out of. His heart twisted in pure hatred and disgust at him himself. He could feel guilt taking over his entire being, swallowing him whole. Usagi jumped when he suddenly heard the sound of his door creaking opened. He felt his body go stiff and his heartbeat quicken with fear. Usagi felt as if he wanted to disappear. He wanted to fade into nothing and hide his shame. His guilt. His sin. But his body felt as if it were being weighed down by an invisible force. The door opened wider and Usagi could see a short figure hidden in the shadows, and a small, trembling hand desperately clinging to the opened door. With the dim hallway light, Usagi could see messy brown hair, poking into the opened door. Shocked, sad emerald green eyes stared back at him. Usagi realized with horror who it was.

_Misaki..._

* * *

Misaki could see Usagi sitting up in bed, the other man's arm still hanging around his waist. The author was looking straight at him, looking just as shocked as Misaki himself felt. The brunette felt frozen in his place. His hand still covered his mouth, in attempt to keep him from screaming in sadness. But it didn't stop the tears that had silently begun running down his cheeks. He couldn't hold them in, no matter how hard he tried to. Misaki didn't even speak. He couldn't. He was much too shocked and dismayed. When Misaki first realized what he was seeing, he felt numb, not really feeling anything. But now, he could feel every emotion that was going through him, ripping him apart. He could feel the sadness, the anger, the hurt, betrayal. They all swallowed him whole, taking over his body. Without knowing it, he had silently begun shaking his head, his hand still clasped over his mouth, trying to deny what he was seeing. But he couldn't. How could be deny something that was right in front of him? He knew that what he was seeing was real. It made him feel cold to his bones. It stripped Misaki of all the warmth he had inside of him. The truth could not be denied. It was staring right back at Misaki, taunting him. Usagi had slept with another man.

In front of him, Misaki could see Usagi slowly edging himself out of the bed, coming towards him. His eyes were full of guilt and woe. But Misaki could not ignore the feelings that were now coursing through his own body, his heart. Tears still silently running down his face, he took two steps back away from the opened door. His face was still blank, his eyes welling with endless tears. But now he could feel his face contorting in his grief and sadness. Misaki saw the older man slip on his boxers and walk closer to Misaki. He backed away further every step closer Usagi got. Noises were escaping from Misaki as he started crying more. Usagi took another step towards Misaki, a woeful look in his eyes.

"M-Misaki...I", Usagi said, trailing off.

But Misaki couldn't hear anything. His crying, which was growing in volume seemed to be blocking everything else out. Misaki backed away again. He pressed himself against the wall and dropped the shoulder bag he was holding. He shut his eyes tightly, trying to at least make the tears stop flowing, but it did no good. The warm tears escaped through his tightly shut eyelids.

"M-Misaki...p-please...I-", Usagi started again but cut himself off when Misaki suddenly dropped the other bag he was holding and ran.

"Misaki!", Usagi yelled after him. But it was too late. Misaki had already run down the stairs and flung himself into the living room. He didn't know where else to go. In truth Misaki wanted to run to his own room and bury himself in his sheets, try to put the image of Usagi's naked body next to another man out of his mind. But the fact that Usagi had slept with another man, only down the hall from his own room, made him feel sick to his stomach. Instead he flung himself into the living room, looking for anywhere he could trap himself. But there was nowhere for him to go. The first thing that came to his mind was the door. The front door. Through the front door he could escape. Get outside. He would just walk and clear his head. Misaki silently cursed himself for dropped his bag upstairs. He wanted to leave. To get out. But all his train pass, wallet, ID, and other things were left by Usagi's room when he had ran away. But Misaki's need to run still stayed. It took over his entire being. He didn't know what else to do. He looked at the front door again, deciding that he would leave. Misaki knew that he didn't have any money on him but he didn't care. He was about to run towards the door, when he heard Usagi's heavy footsteps behind him. Misaki put his hand on the door and flung it open. But he suddenly felt Usagi's large hands on his waist pulling him back inside and shutting the door. Misaki turned his face away, not wanting to look at the author. Usagi turned him around and gripped his shoulder s forcing Misaki to look at him. Misaki could see that the older man's eyes were alert and desperate. Bags were underneath them and he reeked of alcohol. He was still in only his boxers but he didn't seem to care. The only thing that Usagi cared about was making Misaki understand him. But the brunette couldn't look at him anymore. He turned his face away, tears still streaming down his face.

"Misaki...please!", Usagi said desperately.

"No...no...no...don't-don't touch me...", Misaki said through his crying.

Misaki pulled himself away from Usagi and turned towards the door again, but Usagi pressed him back against him.

"Misaki...please...I-!", Usagi pleaded. He gripped Misaki's arms and turned Misaki to face him. Misaki cried. Harder this time. He didn't hold his tears or his sad sounds back anymore. He let them come out, filling the room. The tears blurred his vision and he could feel himself choking on them. He was taking fast gasps of air and his body was shaking uncontrollably from his hurt and sadness. Usagi kept talking to Misaki, pleading for him to listen, to even look at him. But he wasn't getting any of those things. Misaki shut his eyes tight again and looked away, still crying. The sound of Usagi's voice made Misaki sick. He didn't want to hear it. He wanted to be as far away as possible from him. Misaki cried harder and weakly punched the older man on his chest, trying to make him let go. Misaki scratched the author's face, hit him, anything he could do to hurt him, to make him release his grip on Misaki's arms. But Usagi didn't let go but instead he kept talking to Misaki, wanting him to listen.

"No!...I said no! Don't-don't touch me!", Misaki screamed, still crying.

"Oh...Misaki!...please...please...listen to me...", Usagi said, still holding onto him.

"Y-you…..h-how could you?...h-how…..?", Misaki, stammered through his tears.

"P-please….", Usagi pleaded again, gripping Misaki's arms tighter.

Misaki slapped Usagi hard on the cheek, leaving a bright red bruise on his skin. But Usagi still did not let go. Instead he swung Misaki over his shoulder and walked into the living room. Misaki scratched and punched the older man on the back as he walked.

"Get off me! No!...I hate you, Usagi-san!...I hate you!...Oh god...oh god...no...no...I can't...I can't!...don't touch me!...no!", Misaki screamed, crying. Putting both his hands together and cupping them into a fist, Misaki hit Usagi on his bare back, causing the older man to grunt in pain and let go of Misaki. Misaki was about to run back towards the door when Usagi wrapped his arms around Misaki, pulling him into an embrace. Misaki yelled and screamed, telling Usagi to let go of him, but the older man did not comply. There suddenly came a knocking at the front door, but Usagi ignored it, and kept his attention on Misaki.

"Misaki...I...oh Misaki...please...let me...explain...", Usagi trailed off. He could feel his own eyes brimming with tears. He held them in and pulled Misaki closer.

"Misaki...no...I...I...love you...p-please", Usagi said beseechingly. Misaki only cried harder when he heard those words he had come need. To Misaki, not they sounded false, plastic. They made his heart ache in pain and sadness. It felt as if his insides were being twisted, making his chest ache in pain. It was suffocating. When Usagi told him he loved him it would make him feel warm and happy beyond description, but now they made him want to shut himself off, entirely from the world. It made him want to die. Misaki felt his body lose power. He crumpled to the ground in front of Usagi, and held his face in his hands, still crying hard, more so even.

"M-Misaki..." Usagi said woefully. He touched Misaki's shoulder but the boy continued to cry uncontrollably.

"N-no...y-you're a liar, Usagi-san! I-I...you don't love me...you don't!", Misaki cried.

"Yes I do!...please...Misaki...", Usagi implored.

"G-go away...l-leave me alone!", Misaki cried.

"Please...", Usagi said again. He reached down and stroked a strand of Misaki's soft hair. Misaki slapped Usagi's hands away.

"Go away...go away...go away...", Misaki cried weakly through his tears, feeling weak and very vulnerable.

Usagi bent down on his knees and pulled Misaki into an embrace, running his fingers through his soft locks. In one violent shove, Misaki pushed Usagi away from him. The older man stumbled back, still uncoordinated from his alcohol consumption. Usagi fell back with a silent thud against the edge of the couch. Misaki turned once again to run, but the older man once again caught him in his long arms, pulling him close, trying to console him. Misaki elbowed Usagi in the stomach, trying to make him release hi grip around his body, but he still held him tight. At this point, Misaki was screaming and crying uncontrollably in his sadness. He couldn't stop.

"Stop! No!...No!...Let me go!", Misaki screamed. It was nearly blood curdling. His sadness knew no end. From the entrance way of the condom, there was a loud knocking, someone wanting entrance into the apartment. Usagi did his best to ignore it and focus on consoling Misaki, to get him to understand. Anything that would make him stop crying and listen to him. But he didn't get the chance. From the doorway entrance, there came a soft, click, signaling that someone had opened the door.

"Excuse me…..sir?", came the voice of a male from the entrance.

"What?", Usagi irritably barked towards the entrance. He wanted to be left alone with Misaki.

"Is….everything alright?", The man asked.

Still in his arms, he could feel Misaki shaking and crying, pleading for him not to touch him.

"Everything is fine. Now get out!", Usagi said, running his hands through Misaki's hair again.

"Sir….we are having complaints that there is a commotion going on this floor. I'm afraid I have to make sure that I have to check in on it. It's routine", the man said. Usagi cursed under his breath. Misaki continued crying. His screams began a second later.

"Let me go! Get off me! I hate you! Hate you!", Misaki screamed again crying.

In that moment, Usagi could hear the door click again and the door swing open. Footsteps soon followed. In another moment, there was a man standing in front of them.

"Sir…..what is going on here?", The man asked staring down at the small brunette's tear streaked face. He then focused on Usagi's naked body and strong arms wrapped around Misaki's small frame, holding him in place. The man's face turned sterner.

"I am afraid I'm going have to ask you to explain yourself.", the man sad narrowing his eyes.

"Didn't you hear me? I told you to get out!", Usagi said, making the man jump, taking a step back. Just then, the sound of heavy foot steps descending from the stairs could be heard. The foot steps then could be heard walking towards the living room entrance. Masayoshi wearing nothing but a towel draped over his waist came into view.  
He stopped at he scene in front of him and then looked up at the man, who was looking even more nervous them before.

"Is there a problem here sir?", Masayoshi politely asked. At hearing his voice, the man seemed to relax a little.

"We...people in the other units heard screaming and yelling coming from this apartment...This is the only apartment on this floor. I have come to make sure that everything was alright and...", The man trialed off, his gaze once again traveling to the brunette with a tear streaked face who was securely in Usagi's long arms. Masayoshi followed the man's stare and looked Misaki dead i the eyes. The brunette flinched when he looked into Masayoshi's silver eyes.

"Ah, I see", Masayoshi said, turning to the man once again.

"Sir there seems to be some kind of misunderstanding", Masayoshi said.

"But...sir there were reports of screaming. We suspected some form of violence going on here", the man said.

Masayoshi laughed.

"I am very aware of that...It's what woke me up in fact", Masayoshi said, coolly, running his hand through his hair.

"So...there was a dispute going on here then?", the man inquired.

"No, no...you misunderstand again. Misaki...", Masayoshi said, glancing in his direction.

"...is going through a hard time right now, that's all", Masayoshi said.

The man perked up.

"Really?", The man asked.

Masayoshi nodded.

"Yes...I'm sad to say that not too long ago...Misaki...lost his parents in a car crash. He blames himself for the death of his parents. Akihiko was only consoling him", Masayoshi said.

Misaki could feel his entire body freeze. His head was spinning. He couldn't feel anything. He knew that there was no was that this man would know such a thing...unless Usagi told him. He rose his tear streaked face to look at Usagi for the first time since he had come home. His eyes were opened wide wide in not only shock...but also just pure...betrayal. It was a look that caused Usagi's heart to break into pieces. He had rarely confided in anyone about the death of his parents and how it mad him feel. Usagi was the only one and he had just...told it all. The fact that Usagi had been openly talking about his personal problems to a complete stranger made him feel so...dirty...filthy...betrayed...deceived...he couldn't even describe it. Usagi looked just as sad as Misaki felt. He shot Masayoshi a look full of hatred.

"Masayoshi!...", Usagi spat, glaring at him.

While Usagi was distracted, Misaki pried himself away from Usagi's long arms and then pushed past the man. His face was wet with tears and his heart felt as if it had been torn out of his chest but he kept running.

"Misaki!", Usagi called after him. But the brunette didn't stop. His throbbing heart made his leg move faster.

Tears still running down his face, Misaki threw himself back into the hallway and out the front door, still only wearing his slippers. He sprinted into the night, running as fast as his legs could carry him. He didn't know where he was going, but he didn't care. The only thing he felt was an urge to get away. He ran past the park and then past the train station, his eyes opened, allowing tears to fall freely. Misaki still kept running. He could feel his chest tightening in pain and a gnawing numb feeling coming from it. He ignored it and kept sprinting. Misaki didn't stop running until he felt his legs go limp underneath him. He leaned his back against a large tree and tried to get a grip on his situation. But it was useless. Misaki couldn't calm himself down. He could feel himself hyperventilating. He placed his hand on his chest, feeling his rapidly beating heart in his palm. His heart continued to jump in his chest, making him feel as if he were in a heart attack. After a couple of minutes, Misaki could feel his heart rate return to normal. He buried his face in both his hands and slumped down in a fetal position against the tree. New tears began to form in his eyes, and started streaming down his cheeks and chin. He pulled his arms around himself, putting his knees in front of him, and curled up into a ball, sobbing heavily. He couldn't stop himself from trembling. Misaki stayed like that for well over half an hour before he slowly raised his head up from his arms and looked around, his eyes still blurry with unshed tears. Misaki sniffed a couple of times and wiped his eyes with his sleeves. More tears ran down his face, replacing them. Misaki stood up and walked a few feet away from the tree to look at his surroundings. He didn't know where he was. The place seemed unfamiliar to him. The only thing that he could tell was that he was in some sort of park. Trees and grassland surrounded him. A couple hundred feet away, Misaki could see the dim lights of the train station poking out from the trees. Japan had a lot of new parks. This park must have just been built. Misaki never noticed it here before. Still crying, Misaki made slowly walked towards the edge of the road and to the train station. He sat down on a bench and wrapped his arms around himself, trying to calm the coldness that now coursed through his body. He let out a shaky sigh, and looked up into the night. The full moon in the dark sky shone down on him, covering him in its light. He sucked in a deep breath, trying to figure out what he would do next. He didn't have anywhere else to go.

_I-I...wh-what should I do? I...Usagi-san...h__e-he...oh god...no...I can't believe...he would..._, Misaki trailed off inside his head, feeling more tears make their way down his cheeks.

Misaki swallowed back sobs he could bubbling from his throat.

_Where...where am I supposed to go?, _Misaki thought sadly

He began thinking of where he could stay until morning at his head, Misaki went through a list of all the people who he knew. He didn't want to bother anyone else by staying with them but he had no money to even rent a cheap hotel room. Misaki thought about going over to stay with his brother in Osaka, but found two faults with that plan. One: he didn't have any money on him, which meant no train ticket and two: he didn't want to be of any trouble to Takahiro. He had his own family now and Misaki did not want to get in the way of that. He thought about going over to Sumi's place but quickly pushed that thought away. If Usagi was looking for him, then that would be the first place he would go to. Misaki pushed deeper into his thoughts, trying to come up with a plan.

_Aikawa-san...she's always up late...I...maybe I could call her...I mean-no! No of course I can't call her...she-she works with Usagi-san...she's his editor...there's no way I can call her...she-she would tell __Usagi-san where I am...and-and I don't want to...mess up the relationship they have..._, Misaki thought. He put his hands to his temples and sighed loudly. He thought about all the other people he could call. More of his friends came to his mind. Misaki then thought about calling Todo. He would be the best person to stay with. Though Todo didn't know him and Usagi were dating, he knew that they are...were very close to one another. On Sundays, Todo doesn't have to work, so Misaki wouldn't be keeping him up. He resolved to call Todo, but something inside of him told him otherwise.

_Todo...I-I'll call Todo...maybe...he'll pick me up...I just-I just need to go somewhere...someplace where Usagi-san isn't_, Misaki thought, trying to convince himself. He was about to go to Todo's call information but then stopped himself, the phone clasped tightly in his hand.

_B-but if I go to Todo's….that-that'll be the first place that Usagi-san…no Akihiko-san looks for me…I c-can't…no_, Misaki thought in woe. He held the phone to his forehead, tears once again beginning to trickle down his cheeks. Misaki's eyes slowly opened, tears still streaming down his cheeks. He looked at his phone again, held in is lap. He could feel his heart beating faster as he scrolled down to Ijuuin's call information. He looked at it for a minute, feeling the pull of his heart, how it twisted in his confused emotions. Without even thinking, Misaki pressed the call button and put it to his ear. While it rang, he thought about hanging up right there, closing the phone, and just thinking of someone else to call, but something….something made him hold it in place, pressing it further into his ear.

He put it to his ear and listened to it ring. It rang three times before someone picked up. There was a groan from the other end followed by the sound of a groggy voice.

"_Nnnnnn...Hello?"_, Ijuuin answered sleepily. Misaki automatically felt guilty for calling the older man in the middle of the night.

"H-hey K-kyou...wh-what's up?", Misaki said nervously.

"_Wait...Misaki...what are you calling so late for? It's the __middle__ of the night"_, Ijuuin said.

"Oh...y-yeah...I-I'm sorry...I-I just", Misaki said, suddenly feeling a throbbing pain in the back of his throat, followed by the stinging of fresh tears in his eyes.

"_Misaki?...what is it? Are you OK"_, Ijuuin asked worriedly.

"Y-yeah...I-I'm fine. I'm...perfectly f-fine", Misaki said, his voice beginning to crack with sobs.

"_Misaki...where are you?"_, Ijuuin asked. Misaki could already hear the shifting of sheets on the other end. The sound of Ijuuin getting up.

"I'm not s-sure...I-I'm at a park by the train station by Usag-I-I mean Usami-sensei's place", Misaki said with a sorrowful hiccup.

On the other end, it was silent. Misaki held in his tears back that seemed to want to begin spilling down his face.

"Kyou...I...I'm sorry...it's fine...y-you don't have to-", Misaki started but cut himself off when he heard the sound of keys jingling followed by the sound of a door shutting on the other end.

"_Misaki...stay right where you are. I'm coming to pick you up"__,_ Ijuuin said. The next thing Misaki heard was the rumble of an engine starting and the sound of tires skidding on the pavement.

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**A/N: Please rate and comment! ^0^**


	53. Chapter 53: Hurt

**A/N: Sorry for the late update! I've been catching up on soooo much sleep. LOL. I just had to upload this chapter from my flash drive. Enjoy readers! :)  
**

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Ijuuin pulled up to the train station in less than ten minutes. Misaki was still sitting in the bench, his shoulders hunched over. From the few feet away in which he was standing, he could already see Misaki's small shoulders were shaking, as was the rest of him. Not even bothering to park, Ijuuin quickly got out of his car and walked over to where Misaki was sitting. In less than a minute he was standing over Misaki, and looking down at him, examining him. He laid a comforting hand on his shoulder and looked down at him, his eyes earnestly searching for an answer.

"Misaki! What happened? Are you alright?", Ijuuin asked him. But the smaller boy did not even look up

"Please... Didn't you hear me? Please...say something", Ijuuin said, as he gently gripped Misaki's shoulder tighter.

Misaki still did not answer.

"Hey...", Ijuuin called softly. He then placed his hands on either sides of Misaki's cheeks and gently raised his face to look up at his. Misaki did not even struggle against the gesture. Ijuuin's warm hands on Misaki's face made him feel safe and more relaxed. Ijuuin's eyes slightly in shock when he saw Misaki's tear streaked face looking up at him.

"Tell me what's wrong", he said, taking off his jacket and draping his jacket over Misaki's shoulders.

The brunette silently shook his head, tears once again stinging in his eyes. Ijuuin sat down on the bench beside Misaki and took his small hand in his own.

"Are you OK, Misaki?", Ijuuin asked, worriedly.

Misaki sniffed loudly and tried to wipe some of his tears away. As he did so, more streamed down his cheeks.

"I-I'm fine", Misaki said looking down again. He didn't want Ijuuin to see him like this.

"You don't look fine", Ijuuin said.

"What happened?", Ijuuin asked.

"N-nothing", Misaki said sadly.

"If it was nothing then you wouldn't have called me", Ijuuin said, squeezing Misaki's hand tighter.

"I-I just...h-had a fight with Usami-sensei", Misaki said, feeling the throbbing pain he was feeling grow stronger at just thinking about the author.

Ijuuin's eyes widened.

"A fight...", Ijuuin said, uncertainly.

Misaki looked away.

"Misaki...?", Ijuuin asked.

He put his hands on Misaki's shoulder and pulled his face to look at Misaki

"Did he hurt you?...", Ijuuin asked, his brows beginning to furrow in anger. He grabbed Misaki's face and gently turned it from side to side, looking for any signs of bruises or physical abuse.

Ijuuin exhaled.

"You don't look hurt", Ijuuin said, relieved.

"Ah...n-no...Usami-sensei didn't hit me or anything...w-we just had a fight...I-I don't know", Misaki said quietly.

"I see", Ijuuin said, understanding that Misaki was not quite ready to talk to him about it.

He looked at Misaki again.

"What happened? I mean...did he just throw you out?". Ijuuin asked.

"I-I just left", Misaki said.

"It must have been serious then. What did you fight with Usami-san about?", Ijuuin asked. The mangaka knew that he was prying too much but he didn't care. The only thing that he could see was Misaki's tearful eyes.

Misaki's heart twisted. He wanted to say something but no words would come out of his mouth. His lips began to quiver in sadness. He looked down at the ground and said nothing.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to", Ijuuin said.

Misaki bit his quivering lip.

"Misaki...hey come on", Ijuuin said squeezing his shoulder slightly.

Misaki turned his head up to look at Ijuuin. Tears were streaming down his face as he tried desperately to wipe them away. But Ijuuin had already seen them. He could see that the small brunette's eyes were red and puffy from crying, and they were now beginning to fall once again. His entire face was now coated in his hot tears. Ijuuin looked worried again.

"I-I'm sorry, Kyou. I didn't mean to gross you out. Sorry", Misaki, still crying but now with a forced smile on his face. He let the tears continue to fall, knowing that it was no use to try to wipe them away anymore. His tears could be endless.

"You don't want to talk about it?", Ijuuin asked.

Still crying, Misaki shook his head. His face turned back to its woeful state. He looked down at the ground again, not saying anything.

"Alright", Ijuuin said with a nod.

Ijuuin stood and looked down at Misaki once more, still worried. He squeezed Misaki's shoulders one more time before he held out his hand to the brunette. Misaki just looked up, a sad expression still on his face.

"Come on", Ijuuin said, his hand still reached out.

"E-eh?", Misaki said quietly.

"I'm not going to just leave you out here in the middle of the night. You can stay over at my place for as long as you need to", Ijuuin said.

He gave an encouraging smile.

"R-really? I-I don't know...", Misaki said, suddenly feeling very untrusting of anyone, even one of his closest friends.

Ijuuin nodded.

"Of course. It's no trouble, Misaki", Ijuuin said.

He gave a slight smile.

"It's fine, Misaki. Really. I want you to come home with me", Ijuuin said.

He reached out his hand further to Misaki.

"Come on.", he said encouragingly.

Misaki gave a small smile and reached his hand out to Ijuuin's and took it. He pulled Misaki up from the bench he was sitting and wrapped an arm around the brunette's small shoulders. He looked down and let a small laugh escape his lips.

"W-what?", Misaki asked.

"Misaki, you're wearing bunny slippers", Ijuuin said giggling.

Misaki looked down himself and then realized that he was still wearing his pink bunny slippers. He blushed.

"Hey! I was in a hurry alright?". Misaki said defensively.

Ijuuin laughed again.

"Cute bunnies", he said, chuckling.

Misaki blushed then grinned slightly. He knew that Ijuuin had pointed such a thing out so that he could distract him, and he was happy about it. Ijuuin was very special to him and he was happy to know that he was there with him. His thoughts wandered to Usagi and he could feel tears in his eyes again, wanting to come out. Misaki quickly wiped his eyes with his sleeves. Ijuuin squeezed Misaki's shoulders tighter, wanting to let him know that he was there for him.

"Will you be OK?", Ijuuin asked.

"I-I will be", Misaki said, as another stream of tears began running down his cheeks. Ijuuin reached into pocket and pulled out a handkerchief. He handed it to Misaki, who took it gratefully. Misaki dabbed his eyes with the soft fabric and then sniffed loudly, sucking the sobs that he could feel coming from his throat. Ijuuin squeezed the small of Misaki's back reassuringly and led both of them to the car that was waiting for them. He opened the car door and let Misaki inside and then made his way to around the car to the driver's side.

"I'm sure things will work out for the best", Ijuuin said, not meeting his eyes with Misaki's. Somewhere in his heart, no deep down his knew that he didn't want Misaki and Usagi to work things out.

Misaki tried to smile but it backfired on him. He couldn't stop the sounds of the sobs that were starting to rise. Ijuuin cast another worried glanced in Misaki's direction and then started the engine. He pulled out of the station and into the street. Misaki leaned his head against the headrest and closed his eyes. Suddenly he was feeling very tired. He could feel himself dozing off. Ijuuin looked at him again, a worried frown in his face. Misaki gave the slightest smile.

"I-I'm OK. Really. Just tired", Misaki said.

Ijuuin reluctantly focused his attention back onto the road and began the drive to his house. Instead of going to sleep on the car ride, Misaki stared out the window into the dark sky, his mind once again on Usagi. Just thinking about the older man made his eyes fill with tears, and his heart ache in its sadness and anguish. He just felt so...deceived. He never would even think that Usagi would ever do something like that. He had always told Misaki that he loved him and how he wanted them to be together always. And in his heart Misaki knew it was true and that his feelings were also the same. He wanted to be by Usagi's side for as long as he could, and forever. But seeing what had happened tonight made him feel sick with sadness. Now he didn't know what to think. Misaki looked rolled the passenger side window down and allowed the cool night air to rush against his skin. He closed his eyes and hoped that he really would be OK, even though he already knew that he wouldn't.

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**A/N: Well at least Misaki can count on Ijuuin. ;)**

**Anyway thanks for all the comments! Haha, I get such a kick out of all of them! LOL. Most of you have really grasped the plot of the story pretty well. I mean I'm going through some of these comments and I'm thinking 'did you already read my story or are you really just guessing? When did I give ant sneak previews?' o_O''. Because s lot of you are right on the mar with your comments!  
**

**Also some of you are practically begging me to not let Misaki have sex with Ijuuin. And I didn't. I mean come on! You guys all know that I have Misaki's character own to a tee! _Of course_ he wouldn't do something like that! I mean gosh...is that how you all think of me? I'm deeply hurt. LOL. I did not have that idea when I finished the story and now that you some people brought that up, I'm thinking 'huh...now that could be interesting...' LOL. I mean of course it wouldn't be _right away. _Hmmm...well now I'm brainstorming in my author's notes...uhhh...sorry. O_O''  
**

**Please rate and comment! ^0^  
**


	54. Chapter 54: I'm Sorry

**A/N: I actually rewrote a couple of my finished chapters that I haven't uploaded yet. I think you guys will like this chapter though...well I hope you guys will anyway. **

**Enjoy readers! :)**

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Usagi stared out at the doorway looking after Misaki, even though he was already long gone out of sight. He could still hear the sound of the door slamming shut behind him in his ears. Misaki was gone Usagi could only blame himself for such an occurrence. The man and Masayoshi were still in the living room with him, also looking past the doorway where Misaki had just escaped off to. Usagi felt cold seeping into his bones. He felt himself shiver on the inside. He didn't even know why. He stayed kneeled down on his knees, still not taking his eyes off the hallway, still hoping that Misaki would walk back in and talk to him, even though he very well knew that he didn't deserve it. He never cried in front of anyone except Misaki, but he could already feel tears stinging in his eyes. Usagi was brought out of his trance when he heard the man from the maintenance clear his throat.

"Well….I think I see how things are at this point", the man said.

Masayohi smiled and then spoke.

"Yes. Usami-san has been taking care of Misaki for quite some time. But the boy still has problems at times", he said.

Usagi felt his insides boil in anger. He wanted to punch Masayoshi in the face. The older man had told Misaki's personal information to some man just for the amusement of it all. Usagi seethed as he remembered the way that Masayoshi smiled at Misaki when he said it. But he was also angry at himself for telling it to Masayoshi in the first place. The man spoke once again,

"Well I do hope that he will be alright.", the man said sympathetically.

"Should I call the police?….they may be able to help us find him", the man suggested.

Masayoshi scratched his neck.

"Thank you for the offer, but I think it's best that we just allow him to come back on his own accord. All he needs is some time to himself to sort his feelings", Masayoshi said glancing in Usagi's direction. The author could feel his insides boil once again.

"I see", the man.

"But…all in all I believe that Misaki is a good kid. He would do anything to make the people he cares about happy", Masayoshi said, meeting his eyes with Usagi's. At that point, Usagi could not take it anymore. He gritted his teeth and glared at Masayoshi. The man saw that way that Usagi was looking at Masayoshi with murder in his eyes and took a step back out of instinct.

"Don't….", Usagi said, gritting his teeth harder.

He narrowed his eyes further at him.

"Do not talk about Misaki as if you know him!", Usagi yelled, standing. He clenched his hands into fists at the side of him. He could feel himself shaking in anger, shame, guilt and remorse. He didn't know which one.

Masayoshi looked him straight in the eyes, not wavering even once. He put his hand to his forehead and sighed, as I he was bored with what Usagi was saying, as if it didn't even matter. Without even looking at Usagi again, Masayoshi turned to the man and spoke.

"Once again, I am truly sorry for the disturbance that we have cause you", Masayoshi said to the man.

"It's….alright. I understand. I'll make sure to tell my supervisors that it was nothing serious", the man said.

"Thank you. We will try to keep the noise level down as well", Masayoshi said, looking at Usagi again, who was still fuming and glaring at him. The man also looked at Usagi as well. He suddenly looked worried and unsure. Masayoshi caught on to this and spoke again.

"It's alright. Usami-san has had some hard times himself also. He is working and talking care of Misaki at the same time. He occasionally can get stressed out at the burden of it all.", Masayoshi said coolly.

"Shut up…..Just shut up! Don't act like you know every damn thing there is to know about me and Misaki!", Usagi yelled. The man looked worriedly between the two of them. Again Masayoshi did not look away but met Usagi's gaze before turning to the man once again.

"It seems as though my friend here is also having a hard time himself. Please…. let me talk to him. I assure you that there will be no more disruptions for the rest of the evening.", Masayoshi said reassuringly. The man nodded and headed for the door, Masayoshi walking him out. Usagi was left there silently shaking and seething in rage still. He did not know what upset him more, the fact that Masayoshi had talked down to him and insulted Misaki by talking about his family problems, or the fact he had told Masayoshi such information in the first place. He didn't know and in truth, it didn't really matter wither way to him. The only thing that he knew now was that Misaki was gone. And that it was his fault. Usagi heard the footsteps of Masayoshi returning from the front door, finished getting the man out of the condo. He stopped to stand in front of Usagi, his tall frame towering over his.

"Usami-san….that was quite a scene you put on there", Masayoshi said.

"I don't want to hear you speak", Usagi growled.

"We're lucky that I was able to calm him down. If not he may have called the authorities. That may have had a negative effect on you reputation", Masayoshi said.

"My _reputation?_", Usagi spat.

"That is the least of my problems at the point!", Usagi said.

"I know", Masayoshi said.

"No. you don't!", Usagi yelled back at him.

Masayoshi stepped forward and gripped Usagi's arm in his large hand. Though he didn't look as if he were putting much effort into it, he applied an intense amount of pressure on his arm with one movement of his hands. Usagi wince, feeling the pain from his had suddenly shoot down to his fingertips. Masayoshi looked at him again, more sternly this time.

"Usami-san…lower your voice", he said, squeezing harder.

Usagi looked at him in anger. He attempted to pull his arm away, but Masayoshi's grip was much too tight.

"Let go of me", Usagi growled.

Masayoshi still did not let go, but loosened his grip slightly.

"Calm down first", Masayoshi said.

Usagi gritted his teeth in response and tried to yank his arm away, this time Masayoshi allowing him to do so. He continued to glare at Masayoshi in anger.

Masayoshi sighed and spoke.

"Usami-san…listen….I'm very sorry that….Misaki….walked in and found out….what we had done….but please….I didn't mean for anything to happen like this", Masayoshi said.

Usagi continued to glare at Masayoshi, sill not saying anything.

"I'm serious", Masayoshi said.

Usagi clicked his tongue.

"Leave", Usagi spat.

"Usami-san….let me speak first", Masayoshi said. It wasn't a plea, but an order.

Usagi said nothing.

"It's true that I am sorry that Misaki saw us together….but I'm not sorry for what happened between us", Masayoshi said.

Usagi suddenly felt his insides twist. He felt sick just thinking about what he had done.

"Like I told you earlier….I've wanted you for a very long time. And tonight…..I've finally had you. I won't apologize for it, because it made me extremely happy", Masayoshi said.

Usagi could feel bile and rising behind his throat. It was a feeling he never experience until tonight. He didn't know who he was angrier at Masayoshi, or himself.

"I really actually care about you", Masayoshi said, smiling.

Usagi scoffed in anger.

"Care about me? All you did was get me drunk for one night and had your way with me", Usagi said, angrily.

He turned to Masayoshi indignantly.

"You make me sick", Usagi said, but in the inside he made himself sick as well.

Masayoshi smile slightly and spoke again.

"Is that the kind of answer you give someone whose just confessed to you?", Masayoshi said, running a hand through his hair.

"You took advantage of me. I was a fool to fall for it too. You're disgusting", Usagi said, glaring at Masayoshi again.

Masayoshi narrowed his eyes, his face turning more serious.

"You know Usami-san….I find it peculiar that you're making me out to be the bad guy", Masayoshi said, his void of all warmth.

"What?", Usagi said, glaring.

"It takes two people to do what we just did…..that is unless you're a self-starter as I like to call it", Masayoshi said.

He scratched his head and continued.

"What I'm saying is that you can't just put the blame on me….no matter how much you want to.", Masayoshi said, stepping in closer to Usagi.

"We were both willing partners", Masayoshi said.

"You're disgusting", Usagi spat.

"Oh?", Masayoshi said, backing Usagi up into a wall. He pressed his body firmly against Usagi's and brought his large hand down on Usagi's bare thigh, raising it at he did so. Usagi was shocked at himself when his body reacted on its own pressing further into Masayoshi's. He leaned down and breathed into Usagi's neck, causing him to shiver. His other hand pressed itself into the small of Usagi's back and then trailed downwards until it was between his ass cheeks. Usagi flinched again when he felt Masayoshi's long middle finger trail itself upwards to his hole. An unintentional moan escaped from Usagi's lips. He felt dirty. He quickly covered his mouth with his hand. Masayoshi pulled him in closer and spoke hotly in Usagi's ear.

"See?...your body remembers me.", Masayoshi said hotly.

"Get off me", Usagi growled.

Instead of moving Masayoshi spoke into his ear again.

"We're both the guilty ones here", Masayoshi said. Usagi could almost hear the tease in his voice. In one violent shove, he pushed Masayohsi away from him.

"Get out….", Usagi said.

He gritted his teeth.

"Get out! I said get out! Now!", Usagi yelled at Masayoshi.

Masayoshi stood there for a minute, staring at him. Without so much as a response, he walked up the stairs to get his things. Usagi did not move from where he was standing, but looked at Masayoshi disappeared up the stairs and in the direction of his room. After a few moments, Masayoshi came back down stairs, fully dressed in his suit and shoes, his briefcase in hand, looking as if he had just come straight form a business meeting. He cast one last glance in Usagi's direction before walking towards the entrance hallway, not even uttering so much as a goodbye. Usagi heard the door close behind him as he left.

It took Usagi a few minutes to make his legs start moving again. He felt unstable and his head hurt from all the wine and liquor had had drunk. But what hurt the most was his heat. It stung with the guilt and shame he felt, knowing that he had slept with another man, betraying Misaki. The worse part of all was that Misaki had seen him, in bed with another someone else. There was nothing he could do to deny it. His heart felt as It were tearing itself apart when he remembered the look in Misaki's eyes when he saw him in bed with Masayoshi. Usagi could never forget it. The tears that were streaming down Misaki's emerald green eyes, his trembling body, the way his face was grief stricken when he realized what was going on. It tore the author apart from the inside out.

He couldn't stop the heart wrenching pain that now ached his heart to the core. It made it hard for him to breathe. He didn't know what he was going to do. Misaki was gone. He had pushed him away himself. Usagi knew that he was to blame and no one else. Holding onto the wall, Usagi made his way upstairs, tears stinging in his eyes now. When he reached the top of the stairs, he fell to the floor on his knees and slumped against a wall, feeling very dizzy. The throbbing pain smashing itself aging his skull seemed to have increased in strength. Suddenly, he was overcome by an intense wave of nausea. He could feel the bile and vomit rising inside of his throat. He was going to be sick. Slowly and drunkenly lifting himself off the floor, he stumbled his way inside of the bathroom.

He put his hand over his mouth to keep himself from getting sick all over the floor, but that did not stop the intense burning acidic heat he could feel rising from the back of his throat. He slumped over the edge of the toilet and vomited. Everytime Usagi heaved the alcoholic contents of his stomach up he could feel his abs contracting, making his entire body ache ever more than it already was. The vomiting seemed to go on forever, as if his stomach was a bottomless pit. Just when he thought it was over, more bile and vomit rose from his stomach. Usagi could not hold in the sickening noises that were escaping from him. The sounds of his retching and hacking filled the room and echoed off the bathroom wall around him. The sickness was intense, dizzying. After a few more minutes it was finally over. Usagi sat on the floor and leaned against, the wall, breathing heavily.

He slowly got up, still leaning on the walls for support and walked out of the bathroom and towards his bedroom. But sleep was the last thing on his mind right now. He was still thinking of Misaki and how much he had hurt him, betrayed him, broke his trust. He didn't know what to do or if there was even anything he could do. He just felt so helpless. Weak even. Usagi wanted to call out a search party to go and look for the brunette and bring him back to him. But then what would he tell them. That he cheated on his lover and they left? Nothing would come out of it. And besides that, Misaki had left on his own. No more like Usagi forced him to leave. But it still didn't lessen Usagi's intense need to want to run and find the boy, hold him in his arms, kiss him, love him. Yes. He knew that he was no longer worthy of those things, or if he even once was but still….he missed Misaki…and he wanted him back. He just wanted Misaki to forgive him, but deep down….he already knew that such a thing would never happen.

Usagi made his way towards his bedroom, slumping along against the wall. He was three feet away from his door when he stepped on something. A purple gift bag. Next to it was Misaki's messenger bag. The ones that Misaki was holding when he ran out of the condo. Usagi leaned down and picked up Misaki's bag, holding it to his chest. He could almost feel the smaller boy's warmth. But it was not enough. Nothing ever would be. He picked up the other bag in one hand and went into his room. He sat down on is bed, still holding the bags. The gift bag slipped out of his hand and onto the floor where it made a ruffling sound, like cardboard. Usagi placed the messenger bag on the bed beside him and tentatively picked up the purple bag and sat it in his lap.

He carefully turned bag upside down, and slowly slid out the contents. A white gift box with a purple ribbon on it was now in front of him. Almost mechanically, Usagi undid the ribbon and took the top of the box off, allowing it to flutter to the floor. He reached inside and felt something soft, like fur. He put the box to his side and pulled out a stuffed teddy bear. It was dressed in a dark purple suit with matching pants and blazer, complete with a light purple dress shirt, and a yellow tie, much like the outfit the Usagi frequently wore. On its head, it had a pair of pink rabbit ears, a headband but it fit snuggly on the head of the bear. He could tell that the bear was made by hand.

Between its paws, in the middle of its chest there was a heart that with the words beautifully embroidered in cursive that read _Happy Anniversary, Usagi-san. Thank you for letting me love you. _Usagi examined it further, and saw that there was more. There was a small bag with marbles in the box as well. Attached to it was a note that said _Usagi-san, I never told you this before and I__ kno__w I'm not supposed to but __back in __Kyoto__ when you took me there for my birthday, you told me the wish you made on your marble. Mine was the same as yours….If I could have one wish, it would be to be with you forever. There is nothing that I want more than to be by your side alwa__ys. Usagi-san….I love you. _Usagi felt his eyes stinging with tears again, only this time he knew that he couldn't hold them in any longer He held the bear to his face, inhaling the scent of it. Tears silently began streaming down his face.

"Misaki…..Misaki….Oh Misaki…..", Usagi said silently. His heart pulled again and he kept thinking of Misaki. How he pushed away the one person who he ever truly loved. That was when he allowed himself to cry.

* * *

**A/N: Awww...Poor Usagi! Now I kinda feel bad for him :(**

**But it was kind of expected I guess huh? Usagi cheated on Misaki...so had had to leave right? I mean Misaki is even more hurt than Usagi is. So...I guess he got what he deserved?...Awww...Well I can't say that now! I just feel so _bad_ for him. But I guess...He made a mistake and now he has to deal with the consequences...which could include losing Misaki to Ijuuin. O_O''  
**

**Please rate and comment! ^0^  
**


	55. Chapter 55: Comfort

**A/N: Sorry for the late update. But hey what can I say I like to sleep.**

**Chapter 55 everyone! Please enjoy! :)  
**

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Misaki stated out the car window to the black sky. Everything around he was darkness, it was all he could see in front of him. But the strange thing was that he could not tell if it was the darkness in the sky of the darkness he could feel creeping in his heart. His heart hurt and he could feel tears forming in his eyes at just the thought of Usagi. How he had found him in the arms of someone else. He couldn't get the picture out of his head. It was as if were burned into his memory. It was all he could think about. He tried his best to think about other things, anything other than Usagi, but it was of no use. Everytime he tried, his thoughts seemed to wander back to the silver haired man who he had come to love so much. Misaki closed his eyes, and felt a single tear roll down his cheek and along his chin. It felt strange to him that he felt both sad and numb at the same time.

He remembered the time in the park he had spent crying after finding out about Usagi and Masyoshi. Misaki was hurt, terribly sad but he didn't want to cry anymore, especially with Ijuuin sitting in the seat right next to him. Ijuuin had been glancing at him once every often out of the corner of his eye and Misaki did not want the mangaka to worry about him. He told himself that he could take the gnawing numbing pain in his chest. The last thing that he wanted was to let Ijuuin be worried about him. After all, Ijuuin had already been kind enough to take him home with him and that was more than enough.

But now he couldn't feel anything. He didn't know why though. Misaki knew that there were still feelings that he was now keeping to himself. But he didn't want to think about it. He was too afraid to face them. All he knew for sure was that the one person who he had trusted most had betrayed him. He was broken. At least that's how he felt on the inside. Misaki wanted to cry, but held it in. He would hold it in until he was alone at least.

Misaki bit his lip, frustrated at himself as he once again began thinking about Usagi. He felt a soft sob rise from the back of his throat, but desperately held the noise in. Although, he was able to stop any sounds from rising to the surface, he was still thinking of Usagi, and he hated himself for it. He didn't want to think about the man who he thought had loved him breaking his heart only moment ago. It was too much for him to handle. Misaki was in such deep thought of the matter, that he did not even notice when Ijuuin pulled up to his apartment complex. He had already parked the car even.

"…..Misaki", Ijuuin called.

Misaki didn't even hear him.

"Misaki", Ijuuin said, this time placing a hand on his shoulder.

Misaki looked up

"H-huh?", Misaki said, suddenly aware of where he was.

"We're at my apartment", Ijuuin said, turning off the engine. He got out of the car and closed the door behind him and then walked around to the passenger side and opened the car for Misaki to get out. Misaki slowly got out the car, Ijuuin's jack still draped over his shoulders. Misaki rubbed his eyes once more, knowing that they were still red and teary. He looked up and saw that Ijuuin was staring at him, with a worried expression on his face. Misaki tried his best to smile, to make it look as if he would be OK but the smile he bore was full of sadness and woe. It was something he couldn't do anything about.

Silently he followed Ijuuin to the elevator and waited for it. The elevator seemed to take forever to come. He could see Ijuuin looking at him for the few moment they were standing. Ijuuin was also quiet himself. He did not try to ask Misaki anymore questions on what had happened with Usagi. Misaki was grateful for it. He didn't think that he was ready to talk about, or if he ever would be. He was still in shock. But he knew what he saw was real and not a dream, no matter how matter he wished it was. The elevator came after a few more moments and the two took it to Ijuuin's floor in silence. Ijuuin was still staring at Misaki and Misaki couldn't help be feel guilty that he had made him worried.

When they got to their floor, Misaki and Ijuuin walked to his condo, neither of them talking yet. Upon reaching the door Ijuuin took his keys out of his pocket and opened the door to let Misaki in. He entered as well and closed the door quietly behind him. Misaki let out an unintentional sigh and then quickly put his hand over his mouth. But Ijuuin was already looking at him again, or he never took his eyes off him. Misaki felt naked under Ijuuin's intense stare and began fidgeting with the jacket that was on his back.

"O-oh yeah...um I'll hang up your jacket", Misaki said, turning to the coat rack. He slowly hung it over the hook and lingered near it, acting as if he were fixing the coat. But in reality he just didn't want to have to face Ijuuin. He obviously wanted an explanation for why Misaki had been crying in the train station in the middle of the night. He knew he told Ijuuin that he had a fight with Usagi, but Misaki knew that Ijuuin was well aware that there was more to it. He turned away from the coat rack and back to Ijuuin, who was looking at him again with those worried eyes of his. Misaki decided that he needed to break the silence.

"U-um….thanks for letting me stay here tonight, Kyou", Misaki said.

Misaki rubbed his neck.

"….uh….you know….again", he finished.

Ijuuin smiled slightly.

"It's not a problem, Misaki", Ijuuin said.

He walked into the living room and Misaki took off his slipped and followed him. He stood in the middle of the room and looked at Misaki again.

"Would you like some tea…or are you hungry", Ijuuin asked picking up a stray shirt that was hanging on the side of his couch.

"Oh…um…No thanks….I'm not that hungry", Misaki said.

And it was true. He didn't know if he would ever be able to eat. Not after what he had just witnessed tonight.

"Alright then", Ijuuin said.

He stretched his arms over the top head.

"Well it is pretty late after all. Maybe you should get some sleep", Ijuuin said.

"Ah….yeah….I'm sorry for having you pick me up so late, Kyou.", Misaki said, looking down.

Ijuuin walked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Misaki….I would have been more upset if you _hadn't _called me", Ijuuin said.

"O-oh….ok then", Misaki said.

"Do you remember how to get to the guest room?", Ijuuin asked.

"Yeah. I think so", Misaki said.

"I'll walk you there anyway", Ijuuin said, walking towards the stairs.

Misaki said nothing, but only followed.

When they reached the room, Ijuuin looked at Misaki again.

"Feel free to use any of my clothes that are in the drawers. If you need anything, I'm right down the hall, OK?", Ijuuin said.

"OK, Kyou", Misaki said. He opened the door and let himself in. Ijuuin waved once more, before continuing in the direction on his own room. Misaki closed the door behind him and leaned against the door. He sighed heavily and looked at his surroundings. Everything was the same way he had left it. Ijuuin must rarely have guests over. Misaki quickly undressed and pulled on a pair of sleeping pants and white T-shirt that were in one of the drawers. Again, they were too big for him, but for some reason Misaki liked the idea of wearing Ijuuin's clothes. He felt a tiny bit better once he had them on. But he knew that he was a long way from OK.

After he was done changing, Misaki sat on the edge of the bed, his thoughts going to Usagi once again. He could feel fresh tears forming in his eyes. He sighed shakily, still not wanting to cry, but he could feel his eyes already becoming blurry.

_I….I ….don't understand….h-how could Usagi-san…d-do that to me?...I….I thought he…_, Misaki thought trailing off.

He felt another stream of tears flowing down his cheek, this time he let it, not even bothering to wipe them away this time. He was alone now so it didn't matter to him. As long as he didn't cry in front of Ijuuin, it was ok with him. He didn't want to cause any trouble to Ijuuin, not when he had been so nice to him already. Misaki sat fully on the bed, bringing his knees up to his chin and buried his face in his arms. Loud sobs were beginning to escape him from the back of his throat. The sadness that he was holding in on the car ride there was now coming up to the surface. He pressed his face further into his arms to quiet the sobs. Misaki didn't want Ijuuin to hear him crying.

Misaki continued his crying, trying his best to be as quiet as possible. Every now and then, he had to take a couple of gulps of air to because he was breathing so hard. At this point his face was coated in a mask of hot tears with more still coming. He pressed his face back into his arms and shut his eyes tight, only muffled sobs escaping from him. He couldn't hear or see anything at this point, and his didn't want to. The only thing he could feel was the misery and pain that now seemed to be taking over his entire body.

Misaki's face was pressed so tightly into himself that he did not even notice the door slowly open, nor did he notice the sound of quiet footsteps making their way towards the bed he was now on. He was surprised to feel a hand gently caress his head and run its elegant fingers through his hair. Misaki filched upon the contact. He slowly raised his head from his arms and looked up to see Ijuuin staring down at him, dressed in is black night short and gray sleeping pants. He stared at Misaki with concern and worry.

"Misaki…..", Ijuuin started bringing his hand to touch Misaki's cheek.

"…What's wrong?", he asked.

Misaki quickly wiped his face and sniffed.

"N-nothing", Misaki answered pathetically. He knew he wasn't fooling anyone.

"Don't say it's nothing, Misaki", Ijuuin said, sitting on the edge of the bed.

He moved in closer to Misaki and spoke again.

"Talk to me", Ijuuin said.

Misaki shut his eyes and shook his eyes.

"Please", Ijuuin urged. He placed a hand on Misaki's shoulder.

"Kyou…I", Misaki started but trailed off.

"Is it something you can't talk about with me?", Ijuuin asked. He looked hurt.

"N-no. That's not it.", Misaki stammered.

"Oh?", Ijuuin asked.

"I-I just don't want to b-bother you with my problems", Misaki said. He wiped his eyes again.

He looked up at Ijuuin and spoke again.

"The last thing I-I want to do is cause you trouble, Kyou", Misaki said, still teary eyed.

Ijuuin's face turned solemn. In a low voice he spoke.

"Misaki….thank you. Even when in pain yourself, you're still considerate of others. But…..what do you expect me to do when I see you crying like this?", Ijuuin said, looking at Misaki intensely.

"Kyou….", Misaki said. He fliched when he felt Ijuuin's fingers graze his neck.

Ijuuin brought his hand to the side of Misaki's neck.

Misaki looked away.

"I-I don't know", Misaki said.

"It's ok, Misaki. I'll listen to you. It doesn't matter what it is", Ijuuin said.

"I-I had a fight with Usag-I mean Usami-san", Misaki said sadly.

Ijuuin nodded.

"It was that serious wasn't it?", Ijuuin said.

Misaki looked at Ijuuin, surprised.

"You usually call Usami-san by his nickname", Ijuuin said.

"Y-yeah", Misaki answered back.

"What happened?", Ijuuin asked.

Misaki looked away again.

"I know that I may be prying too much but seeing you like this….Misaki….I…I can't take it", Ijuuin said, seriously.

"I-I'm sorry", Misaki said.

"You….don't have to tell me if you don't want to", Ijuuin said quietly.

He began to get up off the bed.

Without even thinking, Misaki reached his hand out and grasped Ijuuin's in his own.

"It-it's ok", Misaki said

He looked at Ijuuin.

Ijuuin sat back down.

"Tell me", he said again, squeezing Misaki's hand.

"U-Usami-san…..", Misaki began.

"Yes?", Ijuuin said softly, as he intertwined his fingers in Misaki's. It gave the brunette a warm feeling throughout his body.

"I-I guess I found him…", Misaki said trailing off.

He took a deep breath and continued.

"In-in bed…..w-with another guy", Misaki finished. He felt fresh tears stinging in his eyes.

Ijuuin squeezed Misaki's hands tighter. It hurt but Misaki also find himself squeezing tighter despite the pain. Misaki sensed that Ijuuin was angry.

"What?", Ijuuin asked. His face had changed so suddenly that is scared Misaki. He was clearly upset, angry…for him.

Misaki looked away, suddenly feeling ashamed.

"I-I don't know…uh…..the other man…he-he was there too….so….I-I just ran….U-U-sami-san…..he-he tried to talk to me b-buy I didn't….I-I….couldn't…..th-the last thing I remember was running to the park. Th-that's when I called you, Kyou", Misaki said.

Ijuuin looked at Misaki woefully.

"Misaki….", Ijuuin started but was cut off when Misaki began to speak.

"I-I don't even know why he would….I-I don't know…I don't understand h-how he could…", Misaki began again but suddenly stopped when he felt his eyes watering.

Misaki felt another stream of tears going down the side of his face.

"Ah….", Misaki uttered bringing a hand to his cheek.

Ijuuin looked at him, his eyes opened wide.

Misaki sniffed and wiped the tears away. More came down as he did so.

"I-I'm sorry….I-I don't know why….but I-I can't…s-stop", Misaki said, sobs beginning to escape from his throat and coming to the surface.

"I-I'm sorry", Misaki said again, putting his hands to his chest.

In an instant, Ijuuin was sitting next to Misaki on the bed, wrapping his arms around Misaki and pulling him into an embrace. He put a hand on Misaki's hand and pushed his face in deeper into his chest.

"Misaki….I'm so, so sorry", Ijuuin said, holding Misaki tighter.

"I can't believe…..that Usami-san…would…would do that. How dare he?", Ijuuin said, pressing Misaki closer into his chest.

"Kyou…..", Misaki said, looking up at him.

"How could…he do that to you?", Ijuuin asked, his voice suddenly growing colder.

"It-it's ok", Misaki said, still crying.

"It isn't.", Ijuuin said. He squeezed Misaki tighter.

"Oh…", Misaki croaked. Ijuuin was holding him too tight but….he liked it somehow.

"Misaki…..", Ijuuin said.

"You….don't have to hold it in", Ijuuin said.

"H-huh?", Misaki asked.

"You can cry if you want. I'll stay with you", Ijuuin said.

"Kyou…..", Misaki said.

Ijuuin placed both hands on either sides of Misaki's face and looked deep into his eyes.

"Please…rely on me", Ijuuin said.

He pulled Misaki back into his body and ran his fingers through his hair.

"It's ok, Misaki", Ijuuin said, breathing in the scent of his hair.

Misaki didn't have to say anything more. He let the tears fall freely then, not even bothering to hold them in any longer. Ijuuin broke down all his defenses in one word. Without even knowing it, he brought his hands to Ijuuin's back, clinging to his shirt. Loud sobs began coming from his lips. He was relieved that he no longer had to hold himself back. There in Ijuuin's arms, he felt safe and secure. Like nothing could hurt him. And for a brief moment, he thought that maybe it was where he should stay.

* * *

**A/N: Well that was a little sad for Misaki that is.  
**

**Well it was very nice of Ijuuin to comfort Misaki like that though...and on top of that he is angry _for_ Misaki. He obviously really cares about Misaki...probably more than he wanted to. But I mean this...this could lead anywhere. Stay tuned for the next time! See you in the next chapter!  
**

**Please rate and comment! ^0^  
**


	56. Chapter 56: A New Start

**A/N: My stupid brother screwed up my computer. That's why I haven't been uploading. And I'm giving you all a heads up...it is still broken. Enough said. V_V**

**Chapter 56 everyone! Sorry for the wait! Enjoy readers! :)  
**

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Misaki slowly opened his emerald green eyes to the dim sunlight that was now steadily creeping its way along the walls of the room. Underneath him, he could feel the light crispness of the sheets that had a fresh and clean scent on them. He could not remember falling asleep. The only thing that he could recall was crying his heart out for hours on end while Ijuuin warmly held him in his arms. The mangaka had stayed with him for the entire night while he cried. It was something that Misaki was truly grateful for. He was happy that he had such a friend in his life. Now that he was thinking about him, Misaki suddenly became aware of the sweet scent that surrounded him. Misaki opened his eyes further and saw that his face was pressed against a cotton shirt. Around his waist he could feel an arm wrapped around him pulling him in towards a solid body.

His head was resting on an arm, as if he were using it as a pillow of some sort. The brunette suddenly stiffened as he realized where he was. One thing was for sure. He had definitely neglected to return to the guest bedroom last night. Misaki slowly raised his head higher and saw Ijuuin's handsome sleeping face before him. Just like last time, the mangaka had him locked in a warm and comforting embrace. He was holding him tight, but for some reason Misaki could not find it in himself to complain about it. And that was something that bothered him, but he couldn't really lie to himself about it.

He blushed at his thoughts on the matter. Not wanting to wake Ijuuin, Misaki began to slowly maneuver himself out of the other man's tight hold. Like last time, it was fairly difficult. Not only did Ijuuin have him pressed into his hard body, but he had an arm wrapped around Misaki's head, pulling the brunette's face into his neck. Misaki could hear and feel the pulsing of Ijuuin's veins as he silently breathed in and out. He could smell Ijuuin's sweet, yet pleasantly musky scent all around him. Realizing that he was even taking this in made Misaki blush again. Once again, Misaki tried to move out from underneath Ijuuin's embrace. As he did so, Ijuuin moaned quietly and stirred in his sleep. Misaki quickly returned to the position that he was in before, as if he had not even moved. When Ijuuin stilled, Misaki tried to move himself once again. He managed to raise himself about an inch and slid Ijuuin's arm off him. As he did so, Ijuuin's arm found its way down on Misaki once again, only this time it pulled him in even closer.

Misaki was now right in front of Ijuuin's face. He was so close, he could feel Ijuuin's cool breath against his skin. It sent a shiver down Misaki's body. By this time, Misaki had given up trying to move out of Ijuuin's grasp, which was much too tight. It was impossible to do so. He tried one last time to move out of the bed, but Ijuuin ponce again pulled him in closer in his sleep and then stirred. Ijuuin's eyed slowly opened. As soon as he looked down and saw Misaki's blushing face, he couldn't help but smile and laugh.

"Good Morning, Misaki", Ijuuin said, with another laugh.

He looked thoughtful for a moment and then spoke again.

"Oh and Déjà vu", he said, still smiling.

Misaki blushed again, clearly flustered.

"Kyou….", Misaki groaned in embarrassment.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding", Kyou said, laughing.

Misaki sighed and rubbed his forehead.

"Geez, Kyou", Misaki grumbled.

Ijuuin laughed again.

Misaki felt his face redden when he realized that he was still pressed up against Ijuuin's body.

"Oh….Uh….I…", Misaki said, blushing.

Ijuuin's eyes opened wider suddenly.

"Ah….Sorry, Misaki.", Ijuuin said, unwrapping his arm from around Misaki's head. He began to move his arm from around Misaki's waist. He slowly moved his other arm from around his waist as well. He had nearly taken his arm off when he stopped. Ijuuin let his hand linger on his waist, his fingers slowly tracing their way up and down his hips. Misaki took notice of this, and looked up at the mangaka, who was looking him in the eyes, a solemn look on his face. Misaki felt his face flush again.

"U-um…..", Misaki said, quietly, trailing off. He was at a loss for words, not really know what it was he wanted to say.

Ijuuin let his fingers linger on Misaki for a moment, longer before he slowly raised his hand off of Misaki.

"Sorry", Ijuuin said again.

"A-ah…it's OK, Kyou", Misaki said quietly. He pulled the covers off of himself and swung his legs off the edge of the bed. He stretched his arms and stood up, his bare feet on the soft carpet. For some reason, Misaki suddenly felt cold and exposed. Was that because he left Ijuuin's embrace? He silently criticized himself for thinking such a thing. Misaki felt a numbing pang in his heart when his mind wandered to thoughts of Usagi. Why was he feeling so chilly? Was it that he was missing Usagi's arms wrapped around him when his slept? Misaki wrapped his arms around himself, suddenly feeling colder than before. Whenever he used to think of the author, a feeling of warmth and peace swept over him, letting him know that he was loved. Thinking about him would make him feel happy. But now sweet feelings such as that were now replaced with feelings of sadness and betrayal. He didn't think that he would be able to regain the feelings of love and security that he had once come to rely on. Not after what had happened last night. Misaki felt his eyes beginning to blur again, signaling that tears were on the brink. He held them in. This time, not even allowing even one to leave his eyes. He didn't want to cry anymore. Misaki quickly walked to the end of the room, not wanting to let Ijuuin see that he was still feeling hurt.

"Thanks…for letting me sleep here last night, Kyou", Misaki said, quietly, his back to Ijuuin.

Misaki could feel Ijuuin's eyes burning into the back of his neck. Misaki did not want to meet them with his own. He walked over to the drawer and placed his hands on it.

"I-I'd better get my things together", Misaki said.

He paused for a moment, the pang in his heart returning with twice the pain.

"S-sorry again for inconveniencing you like this", Misaki said.

He did not notice that Ijuuin himself had gotten out of bed and walked over to where he was standing. Misaki didn't even hear his footsteps coming up from behind him. When he felt Ijuuin's warm hand on his should, he was snapped out of his thoughts. Misaki took a silent breath in to himself and slowly turned around to meet Ijuuin's eyes, which were clouded in worry.

"Misaki…are you alright?", Ijuuin asked, worriedly.

It was unintentional but a small, sad smile formed its way along his lips. The smile quickly disappeared and Misaki found himself looking down.

"I-I'm fine", Misaki said.

Ijuuin continued to look at Misaki with the same expression.

Misaki could feel Ijuuin looking at him and he looked up again.

"I-I mean I will be", Misaki said. This time he did not even bother to smile. After all, he couldn't really hide anything from Ijuuin. No matter how hard he tried.

Ijuuin simply nodded.

"OK then", he said, his hand still on Misaki's shoulder. Ijuuin gave Misaki's shoulder a reassuring squeeze before letting go. Not wanting to worry Ijuuin any further, Misaki decided to speak.

"Ah, I need to shower", Misaki said, lightly. He faked a smile to ease Ijuuin's worries.

"Sure. You can use the one down from the hall", Ijuuin said, stretching himself.

Misaki thought for a moment.

"Down the hall?", Misaki asked.

"What about the one in the guest room?", Misaki asked.

"Ah…well in that one the lights are a little dim. I haven't gotten a chance to buy new bulbs yet. You can use the main bathroom", Ijuuin said.

Y-you mean…the bathroom that you use?", Misaki said. He could feel his face flushing.

Ijuuin let a light laugh escape his lips.

"Is that a problem, Misaki?", Ijuuin said, smiling.

"Of-of course not!", Misaki said, rattled.

Ijuuin laughed again.

"I-I'm gonna shower now!", Misaki said, embarrassed. He quickly escaped from out of the room and down the hall to the guest bedroom. He quickly pulled opened the drawers, looking for clothes to wear. Examining the insides of the drawer, he stopped himself, suddenly realizing that he was not back in the condo and that this was Ijuuin's apartment, where none of his clothes were stored. He walked over to the bedroom door and opened it, peering outside, looking for Ijuuin. He did not see him anywhere in the hallway. Of course he wasn't. He was probably in his own room getting dressed. Misaki closed the door and went back over to the drawers. Looking into them again, Misaki saw that there was mostly only sleeping clothes to sleep in. He did have his own clothes swung over the couch in the room, but he didn't want to wear them again, thinking they were probably dirty. Instead of debating with himself over it, Misaki quickly pulled out a pair of old sweatpants and a long sleeved white shirt. He already knew that they were too big for him, but it didn't bother him.

Misaki opened the door to the bedroom and made his way down the hall to the bathroom. He didn't see Ijuuin on his way there. Misaki opened the door to the bathroom and let himself inside, where it was still dark. Feeling on the wall for the light switch, he found it and turned on the lights. The bathroom was instantly lit up with the bathroom lights, which Misaki noticed were the perfect combination on dim and bright. They were lit well enough to see, but also dim enough to feel at ease. Misaki instantly felt relaxed. Now that the lights were on, he could see that the bathroom was very spacious and clean. The entire bathroom had the same theme of black and gold.

The walls of the entire bathroom were tiled in black, while the floor was covered in black marble as was the rest of the bathroom. A polished dark Oakwood mahogany vanity stretched across the length of the bathroom. Above the three sinks, was a long length mirror outlined in gold. Crystal containers with hand soap and body wash were on the vanity. It was a very nice bathroom, very extravagant but with a certain class that you could only get from a form of simplicity. Misaki had to admit that Ijuuin had excellent taste.

He quickly removed his clothes, placing them on the spare hooks and walked over to the shower. Pulling open the sliding glass door, Misaki let himself inside. He turned the crystal knob of the shower and was met with a strong and steady spray of water. He adjusted the water to a hotter setting and let the heat wash over his body. He instantly felt more relaxed. He stayed like that for a few minutes just bathing himself in the hot water. It felt good on his skin. Misaki closed his eyes and threw his head back and sleeked his hair back with the hot water running through it. He allowed the steady rhythm on the water to massage his head for a few more minutes.

He opened his eyes, on instinct looking for body wash that was in his reach. He was about to quickly step out of the shower and retrieve the body wash from the vanity when he noticed a black glass container in the corner of the shower. He reached over and picked it up, weighing the container in his hand for a moment. It felt full to him so he didn't think it would be a problem to use any. Misaki didn't have a wash cloth with him but he decided that he would use it anyway. He pumped a generous amount into his palm and rubbed his hands together. He then began to gently massage his body with his hands, washing himself in the slick body wash. The smell was pleasantly sweet, and it reminded him of Ijuuin. He let the scent wash over him. He could feel his muscles relaxing and his breathing suddenly become slower, calmer. He was comfortable.

Before he knew it, nearly an hour had passed by. Misaki had lost track of time in the bathroom's comfortable setting. He turned off the shower and stepped onto the soft bathroom floor mat, drying his feet. He could still smell the body wash on his skin. He contemplated looking for lotion for use but decided against it. Instead he decided that he would just dry himself and be done with it. Misaki suddenly realized that he did not have a towel with him. Looking around, he saw that there were a couple of towels on the rack next to him. He didn't think it would hurt to use one. He picked up a dark red towel and began drying himself with it. It felt soft and light against his skin. When he was done drying, Misaki put the clothes he had taken out of the drawer on and placed the towel neatly back on the rack. He picked up his clothes and tucked them under his arm. Misaki opened the door and made his way outside into the hallway.

He walked to his bedroom hung his old clothes back on the couch and then ventured out into the hallway once again. His nostrils were met with a pleasant and delicious smell of food being cooked. Misaki walked downstairs and followed the aroma into the kitchen. He peered curiously inside and saw Ijuuin standing in front of the stove. Ijuuin casually glanced in Misaki's direction and smiled at seeing him.

"Hey, Misaki. Are you hungry?", Ijuuin asked.

Now that Ijuuin had brought it up, Misaki realized that he had not eaten since yesterday afternoon. He placed a hand on his stomach and on cue it growled with hunger. Misaki blushed in slight embarrassment. Ijuuin let out a light laugh.

"See? You are hungry.", Ijuuin said smiling.

Misaki walked up to stand beside Ijuuin, peering curiously over his shoulder.

"Whacha making, Kyou?", Misaki asked, curiously.

Ijuuin smiled at Misaki.

"Nothing really. Just my secret recipe for eggs.", Ijuuin said, smiling.

Misaki couldn't help but raise an eyebrow.

"Special recipe? I thought you said you didn't really cook", Misaki said, curiously.

"Give me some credit, Misaki. I'm not _totally_ useless", Ijuuin said, playfully with a quick wink.

Misaki couldn't help but smile back at him. Ijuuin always seemed to have that effect on him. When he was in room Misaki couldn't help but smile.

"So I see. But I have to wonder who could teach you to cook Kyou", Misaki said, playfully.

Ijuuin stood silent for a moment and turned the eggs with the pair of chopsticks that he was holding.

"My father", Ijuuin said.

Misaki felt himself stiffen with guilt, realizing that he had brought up a sore subject. He quickly turned to Ijuuin, his eyes full of worry.

"I-I'm sorry, Kyou…I-I didn't mean to bring up any sad memories", Misaki said in a small, apologetic voice.

Ijuuin smiled at Misaki.

"It's alright, Misaki. I know you didn't mean anything by it", Ijuuin said.

His face suddenly grew more serious.

"I…..I just…sometimes I still have a hard time with the fact that…he…he's gone", Ijuuin said.

"I-I can relate, I think", Misaki said.

He paused for a moment before continuing.

"I-I lost my parents in a car crash when I was eight. It can be hard sometimes. I-I still think about them a lot too", Misaki said, looking down.

Ijuuin turned off the stove and faced him.

"Misaki….I had no idea", Ijuuin said, his eyes growing wide.

"It's fine. I mean I still miss them even now…but um…I guess you just have to let yourself live your own life. But you know…it doesn't mean that you have to forget them", Misaki said, smiling lightly.

Ijuuin smiled his eyes suddenly full of a new admiration.

"You are wise beyond your years, Misaki", Ijuuin said.

"Huh? I'm twenty three!", Misaki said.

"Oh? Sorry. I must have forgotten. I have a bad habit out of thinking things based off appearance", Ijuuin said, playfully.

Misaki knew that Ijuuin was referring to the fact that he still looked like a high school student to some…every person who saw him.

"Bully!", Misaki said, childishly sticking his tongue out at him.

Ijuuin only laughed in response.

"Ah , the eggs are done", Ijuuin said, turning off the stove.

"I can't wait to try them", Misaki said, happily.

Ijuuin used the chopsticks to place the two rolled egg omelets onto plates.

"That looks really tasty, Kyou! What else did you make?", Misaki said.

"Hmmmm…well I have to tell you I really didn't prepare anything else", Ijuuin said.

"Eh? You mean you just want to have eggs for breakfast?", Misaki asked.

"It's basically the only thing that I can cook for myself", Ijuuin said, with a slight laugh.

Misaki did recall Ijuuin saying that he ate out most of the time. But he still really thought that Ijuuin should eat something else too. Rolling up his long sleeves, Misaki opened the fridge.

"Misaki?", Ijuuin asked curious.

"Kyou, you should eat more than that for breakfast, you know", Misaki said.

"Really?", Ijuuin asked.

"Uh huh", Misaki said, still peering inside the fridge. He looked up at Ijuuin.

"Do you mind, Kyou.? I don't want to bother you or anything", Misaki said.

Ijuuin smiled.

"Oh no. Please. Go right ahead.", Ijuuin said.

Misaki nodded.

"Ah, Hey, Kyou. Why don't you go in the living room and wait. I'll bring the food to you", Misaki said, pulling salmon and vegetables out of the fridge.

Ijuuin placed the plates aside.

"I'll help you", Ijuuin said.

"Really?", Misaki asked.

"I can't let you do all the work. It's rude of me to make you cook in the first place. You're the guest after all", Ijuuin said, rolling up his own sleeves.

He looked at Misaki and grinned.

"Plus…maybe you can even teach me to cook myself", Ijuuin said, smiling.

Misaki smiled as well.

"Sure!", Misaki said. He moved over to make room for Ijuuin near the stove.

"So what's on the to do list, chef Misaki?", Ijuuin asked, with a playful wink.

Misaki laughed. He liked the sound of the name though.

"Well, you can cut the vegetables", Misaki said, handing Ijuuin carrots, spinach, and lettuce.

Ijuuin did as he was told and began to cut the vegetables, while Misaki fried the salmon and started to boil water for soup. When Ijuuin was done cutting, Misaki placed the vegetables to boil with the broth he had made.

"I never learned how to fry salmon", Ijuuin said, stepping in close to Misaki and peering down at the pan.

"Kyou, it's dangerous to stand so close to the fire", Misaki scolded.

"Ah, sorry, sorry", Ijuuin said, smiling, sheepishly.

"If you want to learn how to cook pan seared salmon, I could teach you!", Misaki said, happily.

"I'd like that", Ijuuin said, moving in front of the stove next to Misaki.

"OK, now when you're cooking salmon in the pan, you have to cook each side for seven minutes on each side", Misaki explained to Ijuuin.

"Seven minutes exactly?", Ijuuin asked, with a smile.

"Yes! It has to be the perfect blend of moisture and flakiness", Misaki exclaimed.

"I see", Ijuuin said.

For the next fifteen minutes, Misaki instructed Ijuuin on how to cook and flip the salmon and vegetable as needed. By the time they were finished cooking they had a meal of rolled egg, miso veggie soup with okara, and salmon. Misaki had even made fried rice with shrimp and vegetables and sausage. Together, they set the table and placed the food on plates. They sat down, both of them ready to eat. Misaki was suddenly overcome by a gnawing feeling of sadness mixed with nostalgia, remembering how he always made breakfast for Usagi and how they always talked like he and Ijuuin were doing. He quickly pushed the feeling away.

"Itadakimasu", Misaki said, picking up his pair of chopsticks.

"Itadakimasu", Ijuuin said, doing the same.

Ijuuin broke off a piece of salmon and placed it in his mouth.

"Delicious", Ijuuin said, smiling at Misaki.

"You cooked it", Misaki said, in response.

"Yeah. With you holding my hand the entire time.", Ijuuin said, smiling.

"You did a really good job though", Misaki said, placing a piece of egg in his mouth. It tasted amazing to Misaki. It was both sweet and spicy at the same time. His eggs never had such a taste to them.

"Wow! Hey! This is really good, Kyou!", Misaki exclaimed.

Ijuuin chuckled.

"Thank you", He said.

He put another piece of food in his mouth and then spoke again. He smiled lightly.

"When I was a child, me and my father would get up every morning and make this together. I remember I would burn it around the edges every time and my dad had to scrape it off the pan. I never really came out perfect most of the time but it was so much fun to make", Ijuuin said, smiling again. It was a sad smile. One that was full of memories. Misaki could tell that Ijuuin was talking about his step father. The one whom he loved like a real father. Ijuuin looked up at Misaki, his eyes suddenly looking hazy.

"I'm sorry, Misaki. I didn't mean to babble like that", Ijuuin said, laughing lightly. He took a sip of his coffee.

"Not at all, Kyou. It's OK that you talk about him…..I mean you really loved him after all…..so there's nothing to be embarrassed about. I told you that I'd listen to you, no matter what…and hearing you talk about your dad like that…it was nice", Misaki said, smiling sweetly.

Ijuuin smiled at him.

"You're always there for me, taking care of me", Ijuuin said, smiling at him, lovingly.

"I always will be", Misaki said, smiling again.

The two ate their food, joking and talking, like they knew each other forever. And it felt like they did. It was refreshing. When they were done, they cleared the table and placed the dishes in the sink. Ijuuin had recently gotten a brand new dishwasher installed, so cleanup was easy. All they had to do was soak the dishes and put them in later. After placing the dishes in the sink, Misaki and Ijuuin made their way back into the living room. Misaki's sleeves had drooped all the way down and were now sagging on his arms, but he let it be, not feeling bothered by it in the least.

"Sorry for having to borrow your clothes again, Kyou", Misaki said.

"It's no trouble really. They look good on you", Ijuuin said, smiling.

Misaki felt his cheeks blush.

"Th-thanks", Misaki said, blushing.

Ijuuin paused for a moment, and looked in Misaki's direction.

He walked over to Misaki and stood in front of him.

"Misaki….", Ijuuin said, stepping in closer.

"Huh?", Misaki asked, suddenly feeling embarrassed at their closeness.

Before he could say anything else, Ijuuin bent his head lower to Misaki's neck and inhaled lightly.

Misaki flinched, feeling Ijuuin's breath on his neck.

"K-Kyou?", Misaki, asked.

"…different…..", Ijuuin said. He face was pressed so close into Misaki's neck that he did not hear the mangaka's entire sentence.

"Eh?", Misaki asked.

Ijuuin raised his head from Misaki.

"You smell different", Ijuuin said, lightly.

"Oh…..yeah, that's right. Sorry, Kyou. I used your body wash without asking", Misaki said.

"I don't mind", Ijuuin said, running his hand through his hair.

"Really?", Misaki asked.

"Of course", Ijuuin said and smiled.

"Thanks, Kyou", Misaki said, smiling.

"You don't have to thank me, Misaki. It's just body wash", Ijuuin said.

"But it smells really good!", Misaki said.

"You like it?", Ijuuin asked.

Misaki nodded.

He placed a hand on the back of his neck and let out a light laugh.

"You know how I like things that smell good. I was actually a little jealous of how you smelled", Misaki said, laughing again.

Ijuuin grinned.

"You're the only one who would feel envious of an aroma", Ijuuin said, still grinning.

"Hey I like sweet smelling things!", Misaki said, embarrassed.

"You smell sweet", Ijuuin said, smiling.

"No I don't!", Misaki protested, smiling.

"Oh yes you do. Like strawberries and crème.

"I really like your body wash. That's why you always smell so good.", Misaki said.

He looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Hmm…but I dunno if I can pull off a scent like that", Misaki said.

"Hmmm?", Ijuuin inquired, raising his eyebrow.

"It's…I dunno…uh…a seductive scent maybe? I just don't know if it would suit me.", Misaki said.

"Oh? So now you think I'm trying to seduce you? Misaki I understand that no means no", Ijuuin said, playfully.

"Th-that's not what I meant", Misaki said, flustered.

"Sure, sure", Ijuuin said, smiling.

"But I really like how it smells. You have to tell me where you get it!", Misaki said, smiling.

Ijuuin chuckled.

"Well I don't buy it in stores actually. I make it", Ijuuin said.

"Wah? Really? That's so cool!", Misaki said.

"I'll make some for you if you want", Ijuuin offered.

"Are you sure. I don't want you to do anything extra like that for me", Misaki said.

"I want to", Ijuuin said.

"Thanks, Kyou!", Misaki said.

Ijuuin smiled and walked over to the arm chair to pick up a stray shirt.

"So what do you want for dinner, Misaki?", Ijuuin asked, suddenly.

"Huh?", Misaki asked.

"What foods do you like to eat for dinner?", Ijuuin asked, again.

"Ah, well….", Misaki trailed off, still not sure what to say.

He looked up at Ijuuin, still slightly confused.

"Ah, Kyou…you don't…have to make me dinner…..I mean I…..", Misaki said, trailing off again.

He looked away for a moment, taking a deep breath.

"I-I don't want to bother you…uh….I-I can eat later", Misaki said.

Misaki placed a hand on his own shoulder.

"I-I need to go to my brother's place…and tell him tomorrow or soon or later…a-about….", Misaki trailed off.

"Where will you go, then? What are you going to do after that?", Ijuuin asked, suddenly looking concerned.

"W-well…I-I'm actually not sure…I mean…I have two part time jobs right now so…I…..maybe I can afford to live by myself", Misaki said.

He wrapped his arms around himself, suddenly feeling the same chill from earlier return. Why did he start to feel cold as soon as he thought about Usami-sensei?

"I…..there's no way…I-I mean I can't go back to Usami-sensei's place", Misaki said, in a small voice.

"Are you sure about this…I mean…will you be alright on you own?", Ijuuin asked, concerned.

"I-I think I have to be…..I can't move in with my brother. He lives too far away from my school. I….I really don't know what else to do", Misaki said, quietly. He wrapped his arms tighter around himself.

"Misaki…..". why don't you come live with me?", Ijuuin asked.

Misaki looked up, surprised.

"E-Eh?", Misaki asked, confused.

"Come live with me", Ijuuin said.

"B-but I….", Misaki, trailed off.

"I live pretty close to your college. You can take the train there, or I can drive you.", Ijuuin said.

Misaki was still skeptical, but he really didn't want to say no. He didn't even know what he wanted to say.

Ijuuin walked closer to Misaki and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"You told me that you're only taking a two month course in advanced computer concepts at college before you start working at the company. You'll be done in a couple of weeks. I live close to Murakawa and I work there. You can go to work and your class. Please…..stay here. At least until you can get everything straightened out.

Misaki hugged himself tighter, not even wanting to trust what he was about to say.

"W-would it really be OK?", Misaki asked, quietly.

Ijuuin smiled.

"Yes. It would. I would love to have you over, Misaki"

"Plus…..I really like your cooking", Ijuuin said, grinning.

Misaki couldn't help but smile back at him.

"Is that the only reason you'd let me stay?", Misaki asked, raising an eyebrow.

"The life of a bachelor _is _a difficult one", Ijuuin said, chuckling.

Misaki turned more serious and thoughtful for a moment.

"I…I'll try not to cause you any trouble", Misaki said, lightly.

"Misaki…you're too nice", Ijuuin said, smiling.

Misaki looked thoughtful for a moment before speaking again.

"Thank you, Kyou", Misaki said, looking up at Ijuuin.

"I just want you to be happy, Misaki", Ijuuin said.

"Thank you", Misaki said again.

"Misaki…..will you be OK?", Ijuuin asked.

"Yes", Misaki said, this time not even thinking about it.

Ijuuin smiled, relieved.

"But…um…Kyou…is it alright if I go back to sleep for a couple of hours…..sorry for lazing around like this but….I just feel kind of…..tired", Misaki said.

"Of course. That's fine, Misaki", Ijuuin said.

"Go to sleep. Later tonight we can make dinner", Ijuuin said, grinning.

Misaki smiled back. He nodded once more before going to the guest room. Misaki threw himself onto the bed and buried his face in the pillow. From outside the window, he could see that it had gotten foggy outside, the sun hidden behind the dark clouds. He felt himself once again drifting off to sleep. Still, he couldn't help but think about his current situation. Misaki thought about what he would do after today. He would have to go back to the author's apartment sooner or later. He knew that. But the last thing that he wanted to do was see Usagi. Misaki's thoughts began to wander to the silver haired man, but he stopped himself before it got any further than that. He didn't want to cry over it anymore. Usagi had done what he had done and that was it. There was nothing to think about. Instead, he found himself thinking of Ijuuin. The mangaka was so nice to him. Ijuuin was a good friend and Misaki was grateful for that. But there was something that caught in the back of Misaki's mind as he felt himself succumbing to sleep. He thought about how he had said yes after Ijuuin asked him if he would be ok. What surprises him that most was the fact that he said it so quickly. He had to ask himself. Why was it that he felt he would be OK when Ijuuin was with him? Was it ok for him to feel that way? Surely, it was just Ijuuin's friendship that made him feel so secure, but why did he suddenly feel differently? Those thoughts stayed with Misaki as his lids grew heavier. He closed his eyes and slept, suddenly deep down really feeling that he would be alright.

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**Please rate and comment! ^0^**


	57. Chapter 57: Stolen Away

**A/N: I'm really trying my hardest to upload with out a computer at home now but I pulled through on this one! O_O''**

**Chapter 57 everyone! Please Enjoy it, guys! :)  
**

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Usagi stirred painfully as his eyes slowly opened to see what was around him. His lids felt heavy against his eyes, not wanting to be opened yet. With much due effort, Usagi managed to open his eyes. Darkness surrounded him. He reached a hand to his face and placed it over his hazy eyes, massaging his forehead with the one hand. His entire body ached all over. Usagi stirred painfully, making an effort to raise himself out of the bed. Just the smallest of movements hurt. After a few more minutes of painfully stretching and stirring, he managed to turn his body over to its side, sinking his hips further into his sheets. Preparing to raise himself out of bed, Usagi placed a hand in front on him and that's when he felt it. The softness of fur. He immediately knew what it was. Letting out a quick breath, Usagi pulled out the stuffed bear from underneath him. The one that Misaki had given him for their anniversary. He eyes it questionably for a moment, still slightly unaware of where he even was. It took him anther moment to remember. That's when it all came rushing back to him. He remembered everything. The bar. Drinking….Masayoshi. But the most painful of all the recollections was Misaki running out of the condo crying. He was responsible for that. Between his hands, Usagi gripped the stuffed bear, desperately holding onto it.

_Misaki…..I…I have to find him_, Usagi thought, his desperation suddenly growing in strength.

He pushed himself out of bed and groggily stood to his feet. He was still feeling sick. He could feel his veins pulsing through his head, rushing blood through his body. But he ignored it. Instead, he slowly made his way to the bedroom door, the bear still pressed tightly to his bare chest. Usagi nearly stumbled on a stray shoe that was in his path, but he quickly regained his balance. Lifting his head, he looked towards the door. It suddenly seemed to be so far away from him. A sudden urge to be free of the room's walls suddenly overtook him. He needed to get out of there. The walls of the room felt as if they were closing in on him, confining him there, forcing him to remember what he had done only hours ago. When he reached the door, he clumsily turned the knob and let himself out into the hallway.

He was met with silence. Of course he was. There was no one else in the condo with him now. Not anymore at least. Would there ever be again? He wasn't sure. But Usagi was not focused on the future that may or may not lie ahead. He was focusing and the present and what was most important to him now. And what was most important, what was always and always will be the most important was Misaki. He slowly made his way down that stairs, being very careful not to let himself fall down them. When he was finally down the steps, he made his way into the living room, not even knowing what the purpose of going there was. Standing in the living room more fuzzy memories of what had happened the night before came into his head. He turned his head to the left to where the length couch sat in front of the television. To the spot where Misaki had ran out of his embrace and into the night.

Suddenly he was feeling even more anxious, thinking about the smaller brunette. Now not only was he overcome by an intense gnawing feeling to be with him, but he was also worried out of his mind. The night before, he was much to overcome by grief and loathing for himself to think clearly, but now that he was fully awake, it finally came to Usagi that he had no idea where it was that Misaki ran off too. He could be anywhere. The author became overcome by another wave of worry, remembering again that Misaki had run out of the condo in tears…in the middle of the night. Misaki was a small kid. Anything could have happened to him by now. Hours had passed since he last saw him. Usagi looked at the clock on the wall and saw that it was already past eight. The sky outside was already dark with the late evening beginning to slowly creep itself in.

Usagi quietly cursed himself, thoughts of desperation and worry continuing to race their way through his head. Why didn't he wake up sooner? If only he had, then maybe he would have had a better chance of finding the small brunette. It was already dark outside. He had slept for over fifteen hours. The day was long over. Usagi ran his hand through his head in frustration, once again berating himself for everything that he had done wrong. He looked towards the phone that was in the far corner of the living room. He knew that it was late but he was just so _worried_. He felt as though he needed to see to Misaki, talk to him even though he knew that he was probably the last person that he would want to see. Usagi felt his heart ache in regret and shame, knowing that he had pushed Misaki away by betraying him like he had done. There must have been something wrong with him. There _had _to have been. But he knew that it was no excuse for what he had done. More than anything he wanted to see Misaki. He knew that much.

He quickly walked over to the phones, his desperation seeming to grow with every step. Before he knew it, his hand was on the phone receiver, both his body and mind telling him to do whatever it took to find Misaki. His let his hand linger on the phone for a few moments. His closed his eyes in frustration at himself. After a minute, Usagi picked up the phone and held it in his hand. He had no idea who he should call at the point. Despite being quite around some people, he knew that Misaki had a lot of friends. He could be with any of them. Taking a few deep breaths, Usagi closed his eyes for a minute and then opened them again. In most situations that would help, but now it did not calm him down in the least. Misaki could be anywhere at this point. He may even be hurt. Usagi felt his body grow cold at the thought. He silently shook his head and focused on the phone, forcing himself to be rational.

Looking at the phone, he continued to think of where Misaki could have gone. He knew that Misaki had raced out of the condo so fast that he had not taken any money or his train pass with him. He probably couldn't have gotten far. For a brief moment, he thought that maybe he should take a quick trip around in his car looking for the boy. He dismissed the idea almost immediately. It would be difficult to find Misaki at night. He could have wandered through the streets anywhere by now. And even if he did find him, Misaki was more likely than not to run in the opposite direction if he saw him. Usagi's red sports car wasn't exactly what you would call inconspicuous. No. Just knowing where Misaki was would be more than enough for him. He mentally recited the names and corresponding numbers of Misaki's friends, his entire body cringing in loathing when he realized who he would call first.

Letting out an aggravated sigh, Usagi dialed Misaki's former college sempai. He bit his lip, willing himself to not lash out before he got the information he needed. The phone range several times before, Sumi picked up.

"_Sumi here", _answered a cool voice, one that made Usagi want to punch him.

"I know who this is", Usagi said, irritably.

"_Ah…it's Usami-sensei. Calling me twice for the week….To what do I owe this pleasure?"_, Sumi asked, smartly.

Just hearing his voice made Usagi want to slam the phone down. But he gripped it tight. Over the phone Sumi continued his teasing and taunting.

"_Oh...so you do like me after all"_, Sumi said.

He let out a light laugh and continued.

"_I knew you wanted me too, Usami-sensei"_, Sumi said, in a huskier tone of voice. Usagi felt himself seethe in irritation. Suddenly he was feeling angry. Why was that? It could be for any reason. If anything, he should be angry at himself. And he was. Usagi was in no mood for Sumi's arrogant attitude. He gripped his free hand into a fist at his side, suddenly wanting to punch something, anything. He began to speak with a low voice strained in his anger.

"_Or wait….no. Let me guess…..Misaki left you __**again**__", _Sumi said, smugly.

Usagi gritted his teeth.

"_So that's it huh? I should have guessed. He seem__s to be tired of you anyway"_, Sumi said, mockingly.

"Where is he?", Usagi asked, through gritted teeth.

"_Hmmmm….Misaki….Let me think for a moment"_, Sumi answered back teasingly.

"Where?". Usagi asked his voice dark.

"_Misaki who?", _Sumi asked, a smile in his voice.

Usagi's fist loosened. His arm now hung loosely to his side. He brought his and up and covered his face with it. He was just so…..tired. And worried. All Usagi wanted was to see Misaki. He knew that he had told himself that he only needed to know that he was alright but he must have been lying to himself then. He wanted Misaki back…..desperately. Usagi suddenly felt his eyes growing watery with tears. They did not fall but he did feel like crying. If something happened to Misaki while he was out there, then he would never forgive himself. He wanted so much for the brunette to speak to him, to look at him with his soft green eyes. To touch him and to be touched by him. His heart fell. Would he ever be able to do any of those things again? Usagi's breath suddenly became shaky. Was he emotional as an after effect of the alcohol or was it something else? He spoke into the phone again, his voice forlorn and hopeless.

"Sumi-san…..please…..do you know where Misaki is?", Usagi asked. He hated himself for feeling so weak. Sumi was the last person on earth who he wanted to be nice to but he was past feeling any pride in himself at this point. On the other end, Sumi had gone quiet. It was a few moments before he spoke again.

"_I haven't see Misaki in a wee__k"_, Sumi said finally, hearing the blatant sound of desperation in the author's voice. Either he felt sorry for him or he just found no joy in teasing Usagi when he didn't bite back.

"I…..I see", Usagi said, in disappointment.

His grip on the phones tightened.

"If you do see him, call me right away", Usagi said.

"_Will do, Usami-sensei"_, Sumi said and hung up. Somehow Usagi had a feeling that he would not be hearing back from him. Even if he did hear from Misaki later on.

After that Usagi went on to call all of the people Misaki hung out with or was even associated with. Like last time, no one had heard from him. Not even Todo knew where he was. Usagi was becoming more and more edged with worry by the minute. He needed to find Misaki, wherever he was. Usagi contemplated as to whether or not he should call Takahiro and tell him that he could not find Misaki, but decided against it. He wouldn't want to worry him. Not to mention that Takahiro would probably bite his head off for allowing Misaki to go missing. He put the thought out of his head, at least for now anyway. All he needed was more time to find Misaki, if anything to just make sure he was safe. But it seemed useless to him now. He had no idea where Misaki was. No one did. Usagi walked over to the couch and slumped down in its cushions, defeated. He put a hand to his forehead, thinking. Where else would Misaki go?

Upon the thought, Ijuuin's face flashed before his eyes. Usagi abruptly sat up straight, suddenly feeling more alert. Could it be that Misaki was at Ijuuin's? Usagi knew that no matter how much he hated the idea, Ijuuin and Misaki were close, very close. Too close in fact. He also was aware that Ijuuin had feelings for Misaki. He didn't want to think about it. But again, he felt his being seethe in silent rage at the mere thought of the two of them together. He looked towards the phone again, both his body and mind screaming for him to call Ijuuin and demand to know where Misaki was. His legs were already itching to walk over to where the phone was.

And before he even knew what was happening, his legs moved on their own, taking him towards the phone. He was now standing in front of it, his hand already on the receiver. Picking up the phone, Usagi dialed Ijuuin's cell phone and put the receiver to his ear, listening to it ring. It rang for a few moments before someone answered.

"_H__ello?", _answered a friendly yet cool voice. Usagi automatically knew who it was.

It took a moment before Usagi could speak. Swallowing the rage that he could feel growing in the back of his voice, he spoke.

"Ijuuin Kyou….", Usagi said, darkly.

He hadn't meant to sound so hateful but his feelings refused to be held in.

There was a silence on the other end. Usagi could hear the sound of a door closing and the sound of movement. After another moment the mangaka spoke.

"_Why are you calling, Usami-sensei?"_, Ijuuin asked, his voice cold. Usagi had to admit that he was surprised at Ijuuin's tone of voice. But he ignored it. His own rage was growing stronger by the second

"Where is Misaki?", Usagi asked, darkly, this time his anger making its way to his voice.

Ijuuin was silent on the other end for a moment before speaking.

"_Why are you asking me something like that?"_, Ijuuin asked, coolly. Usagi knew that he was lying.

"Don't play ignorant. You know where Misaki is don't you? Tell me", Usagi said, his anger rising.

Ijuuin paused again and then spoke.

"_He's sleeping"_, Ijuuin answered, his voice, low.

Usagi let out a sigh of relief to himself, happy to hear that Misaki was alright. But his good mood did not last long. Rage engulfed his entire being. Why was Misaki with Ijuuin?

"I'm coming over there", Usagi said, angrily. He was about to hang up the phone and get dressed, but the sound of Ijuuin's voice stopped him.

"_No, Usami-san….I think it would be in everyone's best interest if you stay exactly where __you are", _Ijuuin said, in a cold voice.

"What? Why would I do that?", Usagi asked angrily.

"_Well that's pretty simple don't you think, Usami-sensei…..he doesn't want to see you"_, Ijuuin said, his own voice low and angry.

Usagi stiffened but then spoke again.

"Do you honestly think that I'll listen to this?", Usagi asked, his anger rising.

"_Maybe not…but Usami-sensei….answer this one truthfully….do you honestly think that Misaki would want to see you after what you did?"_, Ijuuin asked.

Usagi felt his body turn to ice.

"What?", Usagi asked, in rage.

"_You can't feign ignorance with me, Usami-sensei__. We both know what you did__"_, Ijuuin said on the other end.

"I don't know what you're thinking, but I love Misaki. I won't let you or anyone take him away from me", Usagi said, his free hand turning into a fist again.

He heard Ijuuin scoff on the other end.

"_Love?...you sure have funny way of showing it, Usami-sensei….aren't you the one who slept with another man?"_, Ijuuin said through the other end, his voice serious and cold.

Usagi's eyes opened wide in his surprise, realizing that Misaki had told Ijuuin.

"_You had me fooled for a while. I actually respected you. __I never would have thought that you would be capable of something like this…..your feelings for Misaki seemed so strong and sincere to me…but I guess you're just full of surprises aren't you", _Ijuuin said.

"Let me speak with him", Usagi said, gritting his teeth.

"_No. I won't disturb him over something so trivial. At this point in time….you're irrelevant. "_, Ijuuin said, darkly.

"What the hell do you hope to accomplish by this? Rest assured that I won't let you get away with such actions.", Usagi said.

"_And what of your actions, Usami__-sensei? You deeply hurt Misaki. You were the sole reason he __cried__ himself to sleep last night"_, Ijuuin said.

He paused for a moment before continuing.

"_You're the one who should be __punishing, not Misaki"_, Ijuuin said, darkly.

Usagi felt sharp icicles pricking his body. His entire body shook in anger but he remained silent. Why couldn't he say anything?

"_But….I suppose that you are punishing, am I right? After all…..you drove Misaki __away from you"_, Ijuuin said.

"How dare you", Usagi spat in anger.

He was about to say more but Ijuuin spoke once again.

"_But….I suppose that I should be thanking you, Usami-sensei…..because of your selfishness…..I may have a chance now. Though I'm sure that you are very aware of this, I will say it again…..I'm in love with Misaki. _

Usagi's fist tightened at his side. He was filled with rage towards Ijuuin and himself at that moment. He screwed up. Usagi knew that. But hearing it coming from Ijuuin's mouth was a blow to his ego. He spoke like he knew everything there was to know about Misaki and that was what made him so angry. He was past saying anything else at this point. The only sentences that he could feel in his mind wanting to make their way down to his mouth were demands and threats. Usagi knew that he would get nowhere with them. He held his mouth shut tightly. Ijuuin spoke again.

"_Usami-sensei…..I will be hanging up now. I don't want you calling here again. You'll only hurt Misaki more by doing __such things. Goodnight"_, Ijuuin said and hung up.

Usagi stood there for a moment, the phone still raise in his hand, shaking in anger. There was nothing he could do. At least not tonight. He slowly put the phone back on the hook and walked over to the couch. The Usagi bear, sitting on the seat, staring at him. He walked to where the bear was and stood in front of it. What was he going to do? What could he do? Usagi shivered inside, suddenly feeling cold to his bones, hallow. Was that his fear? The one thing that Usagi was scared of most was being alone. Misaki had become so precious to him. The author couldn't be without him. He had grown so used to Misaki being there for him. And his worst nightmare had come true. He had lost Misaki. No…..No he hadn't. Both his hands curled into tight fists at his side. Usagi was not going to accept this. Not now, not ever. At that moment, Usagi made a vow to himself. He was not going to let Ijuuin have Misaki.

* * *

**A/N: OK this is kind of a question for you guys...Let's see. Some of you...the readers of course have been asking that I let Usagi and Misaki get back together in the story...and that's fine I guess...But let me ask you all this...Would you get back together with someone who's cheated on you?**

**Now personally, I've never dated...so I really don't know how to feel about this...I mean getting back in a relationship with a cheater something people do on a regular basis? Is it wise? I really don't know...So that's why I'm asking you all. I'm just confused. Ok Yes...We all love Usagi and Misaki as a couple but put yourself in Misaki's shoes. How would you feel if you were him? And Let's call this...reference material for me the author on the subject.  
**

**Please rate and comment! ^0^  
**


	58. Chapter 58: Reality Sinking In

**A/N: Hey guys I'm back! I just wanted to upload another chapter before Christmas, i know most of you guys will be eating too much and opening too many presents to get on the computer to read a fanfiction story. So here it it! I hope you guys like it! **

**Enjoy readers! :)  
**

* * *

Usagi paced around the living room for the third time that morning. He had not slept the night before. The only things that kept playing through his head were the words that Ijuuin had said to him. The mangaka did not hold back in pointing out every single thing that Usagi did wrong to drive Misaki away the way he had. He clamped an already crushed carton of cigarettes in his fist. Usually smoking in any kind of situation would be able to calm his nerves, but not this time. His stress and fatigue were much too great in strength to be eased by the strong smell of tobacco. Usagi plopped himself noisily down on the couch and looked at the clock. It read quarter past ten. How long had he been up exactly? He couldn't tell. Time passed by slowly for him last night, but his mind was not on that on the least. Instead, no matter how hard he tried to he could not seem to get Misaki out of his mind.

His mind kept lamenting on ways in which he could win back the small boy. Usagi had thought about going over to Ijuuin's apartment and demanding that he let him speak with Misaki, despite the cold warning the mangaka had given to him, but ultimately decided against it.

_You'll only hurt Misaki more…_

Ijuuin words from the night before played in his head like a broken record. Usagi had hurt Misaki. He knew that. But he still wanted….needed another chance. Yes, he knew he didn't deserve it, but the older man felt as though his heart was being ripped apart from the inside out. Usagi ran an anxious hand through his hair, once again rebuking himself for his actions. How could he have been so stupid as to sleep with someone else? He burned with rage towards both Masayoshi and himself. His skin crawled from disgust at just the thought of it…..of them together. He was then overcome by an intense feeling of shame once again, suddenly realizing something. Usagi was very aware of the fact that he had been highly intoxicated at the time but he also knew that there was something else. He had been upset with Misaki for spending time for Ijuuin. He knew that. He also knew that he had ignored Misaki when he tried to apologize to him. When he heard Misaki leave out the front door that day, he just lost it. The thought of Misaki ever leaving him made his entire being turn to ice. Going to the bar to drink with Masayoshi was just a distraction.

When Masayoshi kissed him at the bar, he knew that he was still sober enough to pull away. But he didn't. When he and Masayoshi were at the condo together, Usagi knew that he had ample opportunity to put a stop to it. But again, he didn't. Usagi had to face the facts. That somewhere in his mind he had _wanted_ to hurt Misaki. It was a horrible thing and Usagi hated himself for it. All he wanted….now more than ever was to hold and kiss Misaki. He loved Misaki..,,of that he was sure. Even when he was having sex with Masayoshi, his love for Misaki still burned through him. He just lost himself to the pleasure and the touch of another. But the funny thing about it is that only after sleeping with Masayoshi was when he felt his love for Misaki the strongest.

Usagi looked at the phone again. He was so tempted to pick it up and call Misaki's phone number. There was an intense urge inside of him to hear the brunette's voice. But he knew he couldn't. At least not yet. Usagi knew that he would have to give Misaki some time to himself before he could call him. Somewhere in his mind, he was actually hoping that Misaki would automatically let him back into his life and love him again. Or at least let things get back to the way they were before. But Usagi knew better than that. He knew it all too well in fact. No. He would wait until the right moment to call him.

Usagi let out another sigh and ran his hand through his hair for the second time that morning. Suddenly he was feeling very tired. No, it was more like he was feeling restless. He didn't know what to do with himself at this point. With Misaki gone, maybe for good this time, Usagi didn't feel like himself in the least. He felt so anxious and strange. He couldn't calm himself down, no matter how much he tried to. In frustration at himself, he threw his carton of cigarettes to the floor and then abruptly stood up. What he needed right now was a way to relax, to calm himself down a little, even if it be only for a short time. His eyes silently wandered to the hallway leading towards the kitchen. In the kitchen was the door that led downstairs to the wine cellar.

Usagi felt as though he wanted to kick himself at the thought. In fact, he hated himself for even thinking about taking any alcohol into his system after what happened. But he couldn't help himself. All he wanted was to relax. If not, then he would surely drive himself insane thinking of Misaki. He was about to make his way to the cellar when he heard the phone ringing. The sound made him stop in his tracks. He slowly turned his head to face the direction the phone. The phone continued to ring. Thoughts began to run freely through his head. Who was it? Could it be Misaki calling? Did he….did he want to talk to him? Usagi stopped asking himself anymore questions and quickly made his way over to the phone. The caller ID said unknown. His heart sunk in disappointment. He was going to ignore it but instincts told him to answer.

"Hello?", Usagi asked. He was trying to sound calm, but he could hear the desperation in his own voice.

There was no answer from the other end of the phone.

"Hello?", Usagi asked again.

He was once again met with silence from the other end.

Usagi opened his eyes wider in sudden realization. Why was the person on the other end of the phone not speaking? He could hear the light sound of breathing on the other end. Like the person on the other end wanted to say something, but couldn't get the right words out. Usagi felt his heartbeat quicken in anxiousness. Somehow, he knew who was on the other end of the phone. He shakily breathed out and then spoke.

"M-Misaki?", Usagi asked. There was the heavy feeling of desperation in his voice, but there was something else also. There was the tiniest bit of hope in his voice. But all his hopes were crushed when he heard the phone click, signaling that it was hung up. That was when he felt his heart drop to his stomach.

* * *

Misaki stood in the hallway, clutching the phone in his already shaking hand. He was relieved that Ijuuin was still sleeping. He would not want the mangaka to see him like this now. He could already feel tears stinging in his eyes at just hearing the sound of Usagi's voice. Misaki quickly wiped them away in both embarrassment and anger. Why was he still feeling this way? The brunette was feeling so confused and sad. He didn't know what to do. When he got up that morning, he had intentions of calling Usagi to tell him plainly that he was coming over to get his things. It was that and nothing more. He so desperately wanted to handle the situation like an adult and get down to the point of the matter. But everything that he had rehearsed to say all went out the window when he heard the sound of Usagi's voice. The sound of the older man's voice had that same effect that it had always had on him. Just hearing his deep, husky voice made all of Misaki's emotions spill to the surface. And what he was feeling now was the sadness and hurt that still lingered in his heart after he had been betrayed.

Now Misaki stood there, feeling angry at himself for not even being able to do the one thing that he knew he needed to do most….to end things with Usagi. Instead of handling the situation like he thought he could, he had called and hung up, as if he were a child making a prank call. Misaki put the phone back on the hook and held his head in his hands, desperately trying to think of what he next move should be. His relationship with Usagi was over. That seemed crystal clear to him at this point. Ijuuin had already offered to take him in as a tenant, free of charge. The only thing that was left was to retrieve his things from Usagi's condo. After that was done, then maybe…..just maybe he could move on with his life. All Misaki wanted to do was to forget everything that was associated with the author, but he already knew that he couldn't. Usagi was already too deep in his heart and under his skin for him to simply forget everything. He actually laughed at himself for having such a thought. There must be something wrong with him. At least that's what Misaki thought about himself.

Instead of focusing so much on his relationship with Usagi, which was of now nonexistent, Misaki decided that he would put his energy into figuring out how he would get his belongings from Usagi's place. Again, Misaki felt his heart twist inside of his chest, thinking that it had once been _their_ place, the home they shared. He ignored the stinging wetness that he could feel welling inside his eyelids, silently cursing himself for even crying. He had already promised himself so many times that he was not going to cry anymore. Wasn't he passed this? Again, Misaki wiped his eyes and tried to concentrate on what he should do. One way or another, he would have to find a way to get his stuff from Usagi's place. Though he was trying to be mature about it, the last thing Misaki wanted to do was see Usagi. He just felt so…..scared. He didn't know how he would react if he ran into the older man. What if he wanted to still stay together with him? Misaki had already been hurt once and he didn't want to that to happen again. His heart was telling him that he still loved Usagi. He knew that was true. But at the same time his head was telling him it was over between them. Misaki didn't know which he should trust. His heart…or his head.

But Misaki somehow knew the answer. He had to go with his brains on this one. But still…he was terrified that if he saw Usagi then his heart would pull him in the wrong direction. Misaki began to think long and hard about how he should go about the whole thing. In truth he wanted to, just leave everything at the condo and be done with it, but he couldn't wear Ijuuin's clothes forever…..even though he actually liked it. Another thing that he was worried about was worrying Ijuuin. If he didn't get his things back form the condo, then Ijuuin would probably….no he definitely would want to buy Misaki new clothes. He didn't want Ijuuin to do such a thing. The man was much too nice to be taken advantage of. Misaki knew that he had to take care of this on his one. He didn't want to drag Ijuuin into anything messy. The best thing that he could do was to go the condo and get his things himself. The worst thing that could possibly happen was that he would see Usagi. And if he did he would deal with it when the time came.

The young man could still feel himself losing confidence. This was the last thing that he wanted to do, especially when he had no idea what Usagi's schedule was like. He almost wanted to strangle his past self for pushing Usagi to finish all his work on time. That meant he would be at home more. But still….all Misaki needed was one day. Just to get his things together. And then it would be over and done with. There was still that big 'what if' lingering in the back if Misaki's mind. What would he do if Usagi caught him in the condo? He could call the police on him for breaking and entering. After all he didn't live there anymore. Without reason, Misaki's eyes wandered to the phone on the wall again. And then an idea suddenly came into his head. He could…call someone….and ask them to get his things for him. Misaki hated himself for even letting such a thing cross his mind. Asking anyone to do such a thing would be a selfish request on his part and he hated bothering anyone with his problems. And in most situations, he would never have thought to do something like this…but he was just so….desperate. Desperate to move on. Without even thinking, he walked over the phone yet again and picked it up. Misaki didn't even need to think about who he needed to call. His fingers dialed the number on their own. He put the receiver to his ear and listened. It rang five times before someone answered.

"_Hello?"_, Todo answered, though the other end.

"Uh…Hi Todo.", Misaki said, still not sure how to bring up the conversation.

"_Ah…Misaki?...Is that you"_, Todo asked.

"Y-yeah? Hey", Misaki said, trying his best to sound casual.

"_I didn't know it was you who was calling. I didn't recognize the number."_, Todo said.

"Oh…I-I'm at a friend's house", Misaki said. He didn't really know if he was lying or not.

"_Well I'm glad you called! I've been calling you since last night!"_, Todo said.

"You have?", Misaki asked.

"_Yeah. Usami-sensei's been looking for you. I think he's worried. He's been calling like __**everyone**__. You should __let him know you're ok__."_, Todo said.

Misaki blinked in both surprise and worry. So Usagi had been looking for him. The brunette was overcome by a feeling on guilt and sadness. He had not meant to cause problems for the older man. He quickly shook his feelings away. His mind was already set on what he needed to do. He had to focus on getting his things from the condo. That was the only thing that mattered now. The rest was history. Misaki knew that he couldn't keep doing this. He couldn't keep going around in a circle because of what had happened between him and Usagi. He had to let himself move on from it. There was a long silence before Misaki realized that Todo had been calling his name through the other end.

"_Misaki?..."_, Todo asked.

Misaki blinked again, suddenly snapping out his depression for a moment.

"_Are you OK?"_, Todo asked, worriedly.

"Huh?...Ah y-yeah I'm fine", Misaki answered back.

Todo was the one to go silent for a moment this time. He was obviously still worried about Misaki.

"Really…I'm fine", Misaki said, trying his best to sound happier.

"_OK…if you say so"_, Todo said, sounding more reassured.

Misaki let out a slight sigh of relief. He didn't want Todo worrying about him too.

"_Oh yeah! That's right, Misaki. I forgot that you were the one who called in the first place. What's up?"_, Todo asked.

"Well….Um….", Misaki said, trying to think of what he should say.

"_Do you need help with something?"_, Todo asked.

"Actually…I do", Misaki said, taking in a deep breath.

"_Well, hey lay it on me! I bet I can help."_, Todo said.

"Are you sure?….I mean you're probably really busy…", Misaki said, suddenly second guessing his idea to ask Todo for his help.

"_No, it's OK. I'm off work all week so I have a lot of free time. I've __just been sitting__ around my apartment reading comics. I could use something to keep me occupied."_, Todo said, laughing.

Misaki couldn't help but smile himself. Todo could cheer him up at anytime.

"_So what is it you need help with?"_, Todo asked.

W-well….I….it's kind of about my living arrangements right now…., Misaki said.

"_Oh ,it is?...what is it? Need help redecorating of something?"_, Todo asked.

"I'm not a girl!", Misaki shot back, flustered.

On the other end Todo was laughing.

"_OK, OK…but seriously….what do you need?"_, Todo asked.

"Well…..", Misaki, trailed off….

"_Is it cleaning…because if it is let me tell you now that I'm really horrible at doing housework"_, Todo said, jokingly.

Misaki shook his head.

"It….it's not housework or anything like that", Misaki said, quietly.

"_Hmmmm….well is it __moving furniture__?__….cause' I can do that"_, Todo , guessed again.

"N-no….it's not moving furniture really….but it has something to do with moving stuff….", Misaki said.

"_Oh I get it….you need me to help you sort through old boxes and pack them right?"_, Todo asked. He really wasn't getting it.

"_Awww…I give up….just tell me"_, Todo said.

Misaki sighed and spoke again.

"Well…..I kinda need you to…..help me pack my things…..from Usa….I mean….Usami-sensei's place", Misaki said, quietly.

"_Huh__...__Hah?...what?"_, Todo asked in surprise and confusion.

Misaki was not surprised at his reaction.

"_Misaki, you're moving?", _Todo asked.

"Y-yeah…I am", Misaki answered back.

"_Really__?__...__Wow…."_, Todo said.

He paused for a moment before speaking again.

"_But why?...I mean…..don't you really like it there? You and sensei seem to get along really well too"_, Todo said.

For a moment, Misaki felt the same aching pain, which he had come to know all too well. He quickly pushed it down and spoke again.

"I…It's just not working out….so I-I'm moving", Misaki answered.

"_Oh…"_, Todo said, now completely understanding.

"I kind of…..had a….falling out with Usami-sensei….I don't think he-he wants me living with him anymore", Misaki said.

"_Wow…I'm really sorry, Misaki….If you want you can come to my place…I wouldn't mind having you as a roommate"_, Todo said.

Misaki smiled at his friend's kindness.

"No….that's OK…someone's already offered to let me stay with them", Misaki answered, looking at the stairs that led towards Ijuuin's bedroom.

"_Well, that's good….but there's always a room free for you at my place"_, Todo said.

"Thanks Todo", Misaki said, sincerely.

"_But anyway…what do you need? I'm all ears"_, Todo said.

"Well…I don't want to-", Misaki started but was cut off by Todo.

"_Misaki….It's fine….I'll do anything to help OK? So just tell me…"_, Todo said.

Misaki took another deep breath before answering.

"W-well I….Kind of need to get my stuff from Usami-sensei's place….but I…..just…..I mean it was a pretty bad fight we had…..so I…, Misaki trailed off again. He had to stop himself because he could still feel the same twisting pain inside his heart.

"_And you don't want to see him?"_,Todo finished.

"Y-yeah", Misaki said, in a small voice.

_Say no more, Misaki…when do you want your things by?"_, Todo asked.

"A-are you sure, Todo? If you don't want to….then you can tell me", Misaki said.

"_No, really. It's fine. I can do it."_, Todo said.

Todo laughed on the other end.

"_Just leave it to me, Misaki!"_, Todo said, almost too enthusiastically, making Misaki laugh.

"Thanks again, Todo.", Misaki said, smiling.

"But….I'm going to need a key or something to get in", Todo said.

"I-I can give you the entrance code", Misaki said.

"_Let me get a pen"_, Todo said.

Misaki gave him the entrance code, Todo repeating every number, making sure it was right.

"_Good. I'll see if I can get your stuff tomorrow."_, Todo said.

"S-so soon", Misaki asked, surprised.

"_You bet. A guy's got to have his comic books, am I right?_, Todo joked.

Misaki laughed himself.

"Ah…but Todo?", Misaki asked.

"_Yeah?"_, Todo answered.

"Can you…I mean when you're there…you don't have to pack the suits in my closet.", Misaki said.

"_Wait…you want me to leave __**all **__your suits?"_, Todo asked.

"Yeah…I mean…Usami-sensei bought them all for me so….", Misaki trialed off.

"Got it", Todo said.

He and Todo stayed on the phone talking for another half an hour, before they both said their goodbyes. After he hung up, Misaki let out another sigh of relief. Once he had his things, he would be ok. He knew it. That's what he kept telling himself anyway but he was suddenly feeling very different on the inside. Misaki sat himself on the couch, still thinking. He knew he was doing the right but something inside of him was screaming for him not to. Misaki knew why. And he hated himself for it but…he still loved Usagi. He couldn't help himself. Misaki quickly pushed his feelings down and swallowed them, hoping that they would never again come to the surface to haunt him. Thinking things like this would only hurt him even more.

Misaki was so deep in thought that he did not notice Ijuuin making his way down the stairs. He was still in his sleeping clothes but he looked fresh and….wildly kempt. Misaki stood when he notice him and smiled.

"G-good morning, Kyou", Misaki said.

"Ah…Morning, Misaki", Ijuuin said.

"I slept in this morning", he said, stretching his arms over his head.

"Y-yeah", Misaki said, walking towards the kitchen.

"Are you hungry…I made breakfast with your coffee but I didn't want to wake you", Misaki said.

"I could eat", Ijuuin said, smiling.

"OK", Misaki, said. He was about to walk to the kitchen when Ijuuin walked up behind him. He was close and Misaki was well aware of his presence. He could feel the heat radiating from Ijuuin's body.

"Misaki….are you alright?", Ijuuin asked.

The brunette was thrown off by the mangaka's question.

"Hah?", Misaki asked, shocked.

Ijuuin walked ahead a little so that he was now standing in front of Misaki, looking down at him.

"Are you OK?", Ijuuin asked again.

"I-I'm fine….I mean I'm getting along so you-you don't have to worry about me…", Misaki said.

Ijuuin placed a hand on Misaki's shoulder, causing him the flinch.

"Misaki….", Ijuuin said, slightly squeezing his shoulder.

At that, Misaki suddenly felt vulnerable and shy. Ijuuin could always tell when there was something wrong with him. How was it that Ijuuin knew what he was feeling? It made Misaki lose power. Misaki held his head down and looked at the floor, not wanting Ijuuin to see him.

"I…I called Usami-sensei. I wanted to tell him that I was coming over to get my things…but when he picked up the phone….I panicked. I don't know why. I just hung up…", Misaki confessed.

Ijuuin did not say anything but instead just listened with an intent look in his eyes.

"After that…I-I called Todo…and he said…he'll get my things from the condo for me…so it's fine now, I guess", Misaki said.

He suddenly felt cold again. For no reason, his body began to shiver. Ijuuin gripped Misaki's shoulder tighter.

"It…it's really over isn't it?", Misaki said, in a small voice.

Again he could feel his eyes stinging with warm tears. Without even saying anything, Ijuuin pulled Misaki into his arms and embraced him warmly. It was something that he really needed. As soon as he felt Ijuuin's long arms around him, he instantly felt calm and secure. It was…nice. Misaki wrapped his arms around Ijuuin's back and let himself silently cry into his chest while Ijuuin held him close.

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**A/N: Please rate and comment! ^0^**

*****ps: How many of you guys read the newest chapter of Sekaiichi Hatsukoi?! Nakamura-sensei is a genius! Wahhh! I loved the sex scene! It was too hot and sexy! I got multiple nosebleeds! (froths at the mouth and faints from awesomeness and fan girls spasms) *_*  
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**Sorry just really want to put my feeling out there guys! XD  
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**If you haven't read the newest chapters of Junjou Romantic and Sekaiichi Hatsukoi! I need to find a way to send that mangaka a fan letter! O_O **

**Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!  
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	59. Chapter 59: Reflection

**A/N: Hello everyone! Happy New Year! LOL. Sorry I know it's kinda late but hey..I'm saying it now. I hope that you all had happy Christmases. **

**But anyway back to the story! Here is chapter 59 of my story! Sorry it took so long to update. I think I had a minor case of writer's block! O_O''  
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**But it's here now! I know you've all been waiting for it! Enjoy readers! :)  
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Usagi sat on the couch, still clutching the phone tightly in his hands. It had been hours since the call, but for some reason he could not bring himself to put the phone down. Deep down he was hoping that the phone would ring again and that the person on the other end would talk to him, listen to him. The silver haired man was a mess of emotions at this point. He felt so confused, worried, agitated, and above all guilty and remorseful. Misaki had called. He knew that. When he got the call, the author felt a twinge of hope swell inside of his heart. The older man automatically felt saddened once more when he remembered how the line went dead as soon as he spoke into the phone. Misaki _had_ called alright, but he didn't stick around long enough to speak to him. No…he didn't want to talk to him.

Usagi looked down at the phone once again, concentrating on it, as if he were willing it to ring again….for Misaki to call again….not that he deserved it. Usagi sighed again, feeling even more defeated than he had in the last couple of hours. Misaki was not going to call. And Usagi couldn't blame him. After what he did, there's not a chance that the brunette would want to even look at him. Usagi let the phone drop from his hands and onto the floor. He lowered his face and held head between his hands, feeling horrible on the inside and the out.

No matter how hard he tried to, he could not shake the feelings of disgust he was now feeling towards himself. Cringing to himself, Usagi had no choice but to agree with what Masayoshi had told him. He was just as guilty as Masayoshi was. It _had_ taken two people to do what they had done together and as much as Usagi wanted to gag at the thought of it, he had enjoyed it. He remembered how Masayoshi pushed him up against the wall and breathed into his neck hotly, how just the feeling of the breath on his skin made his entire body tingle in ecstasy. Masayoshi was right. His body did remember…everything. It made him sick to his stomach.

It was a moment of weakness and he had chosen to act upon it. And he hated himself for it. His thoughts wandered to Misaki again. He couldn't stop thinking of the small brunette….he didn't want to. Misaki was…everything to him.

He pushed his face deeper into his hands, feeling tears stinging in the back of his eyelids. Over and over again he cursed himself for what he had done. He gritted his teeth in anger…at himself. He truly despised who he was. He was completely revolted.

Why?...why did he do it? It was something that he never thought he would do...it was something that he never wanted to do. So many things raced through his mind concerning the matter.

Yes, it was true that he was jealous and angry at the fact that Misaki and Ijuuin had gotten to be so close over the last couple of weeks. Misaki had always been so happy to see Ijuuin. Usagi felt irritation at the fact that Ijuuin called Misaki by his first name and Misaki call Ijuuin by his. They were practically best friends now. Even Todo would have to take a backseat to Ijuuin's friendship with Misaki. But could you really call it friendship? Ijuuin always had eyes for Misaki. And that angered him even more.

Despite his feelings, Ijuuin played his first confession to Misaki off as a joke, probably not wanting to ruin their friendship. And Misaki, trusting as he is, believed him. Nothing seemed out of place in his opinion. Just two guys being friends, that was all it was to him. But it was more to Ijuuin. The mangaka had been waiting for a chance to be with Misaki, to be more than a friend to him. And Usagi had given him the chance when he made the mistake of cheating on Misaki.

The author felt a painful lump form in his chest at admitting what he had done to himself. He _cheated_ on _Misaki__. _There was nothing more he could say on the matter, even though he wished that there was. Again he could not help but ask himself the same question. Why did he do it? He was indeed jealous…insanely jealous…there was no doubt about that. But he knew that there was more to it….there just had to be.

Usagi lamented on the conclusion that he had come to nights before. He had _wanted_to hurt Misaki and that was the honest truth. He already knew this, however. The silver haired man scoffed at himself. What he did was dishonest and hurtful. But…could it be that the only reason he slept with Masayoshi was because he was upset with Misaki for staying with Ijuuin for night? His head still in between his hands, Usagi tugged his hair in frustration once again. There must have been something wrong with him.

Thinking of the night that Misaki stayed with Ijuuin made his head ache again. It was the trigger for his actions with Masayoshi after all. When Misaki told him that he had spent the night at the mangaka's apartment, he snapped. He couldn't help it. It was for that reason that he shouted at the small brunette and ignored him the next day. Now here today, nearly five days after that, it seems plain to Usagi that he did not react in the way he should have. Jealousy had clouded his judgment. He can see that now.

Yes, his skin crawled at just the thought of Misaki and Ijuuin even in the same space together and he was still very angry at the fact but…he knew Misaki. And Misaki never lied to him…ever.

He should have known that. He should have believed him….he should have believed in him, Misaki. Jealousy is an ugly emotion to act on and he made the mistake of doing just that. Because he felt hurt, he wanted to hurt Misaki. Not only was it hurtful to Misaki, but it was also childish. Was this really the kind of man he was? One he acts and thinks recklessly based on his emotions? Could he be more immature?

Because of his poor choice of actions, Misaki was gone and he might not be coming back. Usagi felt a sudden chill go throughout his body realizing that there was a chance that Misaki was going to leave him. He _needed_ Misaki. He truly did. Just the thought of having to get through a day, a second without him sent fear surging throughout Usagi's body.

Usagi gripped his hair tighter between his hands, nearly feeling it being pulled out at the routes. But he didn't care, he didn't mind the numb pain. He welcomed it even. After all, he deserved to feel pain after what he had put Misaki through, what he _was_ putting Misaki through.

The tears that were welling in the back of his eyes began to silently stream down his cheeks. He was crying….again. Only Misaki could bring such strong emotions from him to the surface.

The author was not now only crying out of sadness, knowing that he had pushed Misaki away from him, but also out of anger towards himself for betraying the brunette. He shouldn't have done what he had done. He should have listened to Misaki, he should have tried harder to understand, he should have talked it out with him instead of raising his voice and walking away from the problem. But it is as the saying goes: Should have, could have, but didn't. What's done is done and there is no way to change it. No matter how much he wanted to. And how he prayed to God that he could.

But it's too little, too late. Too little to do about it and too late to apologize for what he did. He'll just have to live with it…and hope that Misaki would forgive him. He wanted nothing more. But why should he? There's no reason for Misaki to come back to him. But the older man has given him ever reason not to.

Tears seeped through his hands and onto his lap, slowly beginning to soak his night pants. He felt so pathetic and wretched. He didn't deserve Misaki, but he wanted him more than anything else the world could offer him. He didn't need anything else…just Misaki. Without him….Usagi felt that he was nothing. Loving Misaki is Usagi's everything, the only reason he gets up in the morning. The silver haired man could not picture himself without him.

He shivered again, thinking that he would have to get used to Misaki not being around him every second of the day. Sleeping with Masayoshi was the biggest mistake he had made in his entire life. And Usagi rarely made and mistakes in his lifetime, even as a young child. There was no rewind or redo button for him in this situation, even though he desperately wished that he could take back sleeping with Masayoshi. He couldn't fix this. Only time could. And Usagi was skeptical as to whether or not even time could be of much help to him now.

He made a bad decision, a horrible one and he knew that he was going to pay dearly for it. He stopped thinking for a moment to curse himself, once again berating himself for his actions. Again he asked himself why he did such a thing, not wanting to face the real reason as to what fueled his anger and deceit.

How could he have done something to hurt Misaki when he loved him so much, when the brunette was so dear to him in every sense of the word? How could he? Usagi suddenly blinked through his tears remembering, reliving the events that took place after Misaki found out what he had done.

"_How could you?..."_

The author could remember the sound of sadness and woe in Misaki's face when he asked Usagi that same question that he was still asking himself. He'd never forget the look in the younger man's tear stained face, the look of someone who's been betrayed by the one they loved most. But the boy had every right to feel the way he was feeling. Usagi knew that. When he and Misaki first met, Usagi knew right away that Misaki had a difficult time being around strangers. It was hard for him to trust people, and also hard for him to trust himself. But as the years went by and they stayed together and developed their relationship, he could feel Misaki opening up to him more and more, trusting him. And Usagi was grateful for that. He wanted Misaki to trust him, he wanted Misaki to be able to put all his faith in him without a doubt in his mind. And he had it and then lost it. In one night because of his idiocy, Usagi had shattered all the trust that Misaki had ever been able to give him and he wasn't sure if the brunette would be able to trust him again….if he'd ever _want_ to trust him again.

He gripped his hair in his fist even tighter than he was already holding it, his anger towards himself rising. What was he thinking? How many times has he told Misaki that he loved him? That he wanted to be with him always? Was he lying to himself? No…Impossible. He was a man of his word. Not only that, but what he felt in his heart for Misaki was not a lie. His feelings could not be fabricated out of nothing. He wasn't that kind of person who would stay with someone for as long as he was with Misaki out of boredom. No, he loved Misaki. He still does. The only hitch was that he made a terrible mistake and pushed him out of his arms reach…into the arms of someone else.

Usagi raised his head higher, his thoughts going to Ijuuin. Almost mechanically, he slowly ceased his crying to think more clearly.

Ijuuin….

Usagi remembered the promise he made to himself. He was not going to let Ijuuin have Misaki. It didn't matter to him if the mangaka's feelings for Misaki were genuine, which he knew they were. Misaki was his and no one else's. Every stand of hair, ever crevice of skin, his lips are his and his alone. All of Misaki belongs to him. Usagi wasn't going to accept anything less. He refused to. He wasn't going to let anyone take Misaki away from him. And maybe it was selfish, greedy even on his part to think this way, especially considering the circumstances but there was no helping it. Usagi was in love with Misaki. That's all there is to it. Usagi loved Misaki and no one else. It could only be him. He was the only person Usagi could see in front of him, the only person he wanted to see.

He stood up and made picked the phone off the ground. Holding it in his hands, he suddenly felt very tempted to dial Misaki's cell phone and speak to him, even if it were just to hear the sound of his breathing. It was a strong urge that he felt but he knew he had to put it off, at least for now. As much as he hated to think about it, Misaki was probably still with Ijuuin. And he needed to speak to Misaki alone, in private for them to really talk. He put the phone back on the hook and then walked the stairs to his bedroom. Although Usagi had had been sleeping, maybe too much in fact, his entire body still felt tired, which was understandable taking into account his large alcohol consumption along with his stress and fatigue. He didn't even bathe for the day and he probably wasn't going to at all, not that he cared. Usagi laid down on his side on the bed and then got up shortly after. He automatically felt sick remembering what he and Masayoshi had done on his bed. He quickly got up and violently stripped the sheets off the bed and threw them near the small trash bin in a far corner at the end of the room. There's no way in hell he was going to sleep on those sheets ever again. Luckily, Usagi has a closet full of expensive, comfortable sheet and quilt sets down the hall in the closet. But for now he'd just rest a bit. Feeling tired but still not wanting to even go near the bed, he grabbed an old blanket from the nightstand and Suzuki and made himself as comfortable as he could on the shag carpet rug.

He could feel himself drifting off to sleep once again. As his eye lids grew heaver, he let his body relax. The man was about to fall to sleep when he suddenly heard his cell phone ringing from his pants pocket. Usagi instantly jumped to a sitting position and quickly reached for his pants. He hoped it was Misaki calling him to talk. Frantically clawing at his pants, he dug his phone out of his pocket and held it to his face to see who was calling. His heart sunk, seeing that it was Aikawa calling and not Misaki. He let out a defeated sigh. He wanted to ignore the call and then completely turn off his cell phone but thought against it. Aikawa had stayed out of his way and given him his space this week. She even managed to push back all of his deadlines so that he could spend a couple of days with Misaki in celebration of their anniversary. Too bad he managed to screw that all up. The knot in his chest returned. The phone continued to ring nonstop. The editor obviously was not going to stop calling. Letting out another sigh, he pressed the talk button and held the phone to his ear.

"What is it?", Usagi asked. He hadn't meant to sound so irritated but it had been a rough week for him.

"_Usami-sensei! I've been calling you for hours!"_, Aikawa yelled at him.

Usagi rubbed his forehead and temples. He was not in the mood for being yelled at. Not to mention, he didn't think he had fully recovered from his intense hangover.

Aikawa must have either called when he was sleeping or when he was downstairs, sitting on the couch with the land line phone clasped in his hands. Either way he didn't get any of her calls, not that he regretted it, hearing how she was yelling at him now on the other end. But he was not going to tell Aikawa all that.

"I didn't hear it ring", Usagi said, simply. It was the truth, wasn't it?

Over the other end on the line, Usagi heard Aikawa huff in irritation.

"_Authors should keep their damn phones with them at all times in case their editors need to speak with them!"_, Aikawa scolded angrily.

"Is that so?", Usagi asked nonchalantly.

"_You damn well know it is"_, Aikawa yelled at Usagi, causing him to wince slightly.

"What are you calling for anyway? I thought I was granted personal time", Usagi said, feeling sad again at the reference to his and Misaki's anniversary.

"_Hah! Nice try! As of right now, your vacation is over!"_, Aikawa said.

"It wasn't long enough", Usagi said, suddenly feeling even more tired.

"_I gave you a week. I was being generous!, _Aikawa said.

A week? Had it really been that long?

"Just tell me what you're bothering me about this time", Usagi said, running his free hand through his hair.

"_Well I was __**trying**__ to call you earlier but you wouldn't pick up. You have to come into the company today"_, Aikawa said.

I won't", Usagi said. He did not want to think about anything work related because it made him think of a certain silver eyed CEO.

"_You can't just not come. It's for __**your**__ book!_", Aikawa said, annoyed.

"Just push the meeting back a day or two", Usagi said.

"_I can't do that, you imbecile!_", Aikawa said, angrily.

"Why not? It can't be that hard", Usagi said.

"_Usami-sensei! Would you please stop and think about how hard you make it for me to be your editor?!__ Show some consideration god dammit!__"_, Aikawa screamed crazily.

"I'll be sure to start some time in the near future", Usagi said. A yawn escaped his lips. He was seriously tired.

"_Usami-sensei! You can't refuse this time! The presid__ent even asked Masayoshi-san to-"_, Aikawa began but was cut off.

"What?", Usagi spat. His words turned into venom at the mention of Masayoshi.

"_The president asked Masayoshi to attend the meeting since he'll be in the city for a couple of days. He'll relay the information back to the president so I don't need you making me and Isaka-san look bad! You have to-"_

"Are you telling me that…._he'll_ be there?", Usagi spat.

"_Him? You mean Masayoshi-san? Yeah…he'll be there I just said that. Stop making excuses! The meeting is scheduled for four O'clock so get a move and-"_

"I won't….", Usagi growled.

"_Wh-what?"_, Aikawa asked, surprised by his tone.

"There is no way in hell I am going anywhere near that damn meeting!", Usagi yelled.

"_But you have to! __"This meeting is taking place today! It's important!_, Aikawa yelled at him.

"Then have the meeting without me", Usagi said, standing.

"_What are you talking about you idiot! Hurry up and-"_

"Aikawa-san…..", Usagi growled, his voice venomous and low.

"I said no and that's final", he finished with venomous authority.

"_U-Usami-sensei? What?-"_

Usagi didn't wait for Aikawa to finish her sentence. He ended the call and shut his phone off.

He was fully awake now. Aikawa had painfully reminded him of the reality that he worked with Masayoshi. He was the CEO after all. He'd be attending a lot of meetings concerning book sales and such. And since Usagi was the bestselling author for over a decade, chances have it that he'd be seeing a lot of him. His stomach churned at just the thought of it.

He walked over to his desk and looked at the clock on wall. It read quarter to three already. Usagi really didn't have to think about this. Knowing Aikawa, she would probably burst through his door and dress him herself and haul him off to the meeting tied in chains if she had to. Again he felt a pang in his chest, thinking of Misaki. If the brunette were here, he'd scold him and make sure that he went to the meeting. Aikawa had always asked him to make Usagi do his work and attend meetings on time. But he wasn't there with him now. He saddened again but decided that he wanted to leave the condo before Aikawa came to fetch him. The last thing he wanted to do was to see Masayoshi's smug face veiled by his smooth features. He walked to the bathroom and took a quick shower, not even having the time to relax in the heated water. He'd have to do that at the hotel he'd be staying at for the night. Afterwards, he got dressed in a grey sweater and black slacks. He then grabbed his wallet, his car keys and coat and was out the door in a matter of minutes. He could buy everything else he needed if it came to that. But it probably wouldn't. It's not like he was running away or anything, he just couldn't think about work right now. This was not another distraction like the bar. He shuddered to himself remembering the event. Was he going to have sex with someone else to forget about work and Masayoshi now? He scoffed at himself, repulsed by the thoughts he was having. Usagi made his way down the elevator and to the parking garage to retrieve his car. He got in and started the engine, exiting but having no idea where he was going. Usagi automatically decided against going to a five star hotel as he would usually do. If he did that Aikawa would find him for sure. But he was not going to sleep in a sketchy, run down place either. He'd have to go in between. He decided that he'd drive by Senzokuike Park where it was quiet and try to find a place to sleep there.

Usagi drove for nearly three hours before he arrived at the Senzokuike area, on the outskirts of Tokyo. Driving, he saw that there were not a lot of people in the area, maybe just a couple a students, but that's about it. He liked it instantly. It was quiet here, peaceful. He could spend some time here and be happy about it. He could clear his head and think. The nature that surrounded him made him feel more serene, more relaxed than he ever could in the city. But it didn't keep his thoughts off of Misaki. Nothing did.

After another twenty minutes of driving, he found a hotel a couple of miles away from where he first entered. He parked his car in the street and got out. People turned their heads as he walked towards the entrance. He seemed to attract attention anywhere he went. The red foreign sports car really didn't help with keeping a low profile. Still, he knew for sure that Aikawa and Isaka would not look for him here, not that they needed to. He'd go back tomorrow, or stay two days tops, at least until the meeting was over. Usagi knew that he was acting like a child running away from his mistakes but he didn't care. If he saw Masayoshi then he would punch him. And he didn't want to lose his job, which is why he deliberately skipped that important meeting. He knew that doing this could have a negative effect of his credibility but his judgement told him that this was the right thing to do.

He entered the lobby and made his way to the help desk and asked for a room for the night. The middle aged woman behind the desk blushed when she saw him. Usagi simply smiled gently back at here. She was a kind looking woman. Misaki's mother must have been like this too, petite and gentle. She handed him a room key and let him go about his business. Usagi liked her treatment. She didn't try to smother him like any other woman would, and that also reminded him of Misaki. He sighed sadly, thinking of the small brunette.

When he was in his room, Usagi shut the door behind him and took off his coat. Looking around him, he saw that the room was actually very nice and well kept. It had a bathroom in the bedroom and kitchen area. I was modest but very comfortable. Usagi made himself at home and took off his shoes. Usually in a hotel he would smoke but he was tired and worn out. He just wanted to close his eyes and sleep. Without taking off any of his clothes Usagi laid down and the bed and closed his eyes. As his eye lids grew heavier, all he could see in his mind were images of Misaki. He was right after all. Misaki was the only thing that he constantly thought about, without even knowing he was doing so. He couldn't get the brunette off his mind. Misaki was the first thing he thought about when he got up in the morning and the last thing he thought about before he went to sleep. Thinking of the younger man, Usagi yearned to be with him again, to love him. As he drifted off to sleep, he prayed that his longing wish would become a reality once more.

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**A/N: Please rate and comment! ^0^**

*****ps: I just read the yaoi manga Katekyo! And it was awwwweeeesoooooome! *_*  
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**i wished to god it was longer! It's freakin' hot! Kyaaahh! I swear if only the creators of this website would create a Katekyo! section, I will be soooooo happy! I would be on here every day!***  
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**See you all in the next chapter!  
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	60. Chapter 60: Desperation

**A/N: Hello everyone! I'm back with chapter 60! I hope you enjoy reading it! :)**

Usagi slowly opened his eyes to the dull sunlight that was slowly streaming its way over his body. The light covered his face, making him feel slightly disoriented and out of it. On instinct, his hand searched for sheets to pull over his face to block out the sunlight. They came up empty however. Usagi then realized that he was not even under the covers. He opened his eyes further and raised his head off the pillow, staring at the unfamiliar walls that surrounded him. The author slowly sat up further and rubbed his head, remembering that he was not at his condo in his own dark yet comfortable bedroom. A lot of things gave this away. For one the room was much smaller than his own and was much too brightly lit. Usagi made it a habit of his to keep his room dark with little light coming in so that he could relax better.

Yes that's right. Now he remembered. He was at a hotel in Senzokuike Park. He had come here to avoid Aikawa dragging him off to a meeting at Murakawa where he would have to be in the same room as Masayoshi. Usagi's frown deepened in disgust at thinking about him as soon as he woke up. Letting out a low growl of anger, he swung his legs over the edge of the bed and stood up, arching his back. He felt a little achy but at least he was not waking up to a hangover this time, which he was relived for. He glanced at his watch and saw that it was already quarter to noon. Apparently he had slept in….again. But he was doing that a lot lately wasn't he?

Ever since Misaki found him in bed with someone else and ran away in tears, he didn't feel like doing much. Usagi's face contorted in sadness at the thought of the small brunette. He hadn't even spoken to him since then and Usagi wanted to….more than anything. The question is as to whether Misaki would want to even see him at all, let alone speak to him. Probably….no definitely not. Not after what he did. Usagi smoothed his clothes from the day before and went to the bathroom. He didn't even have a toothbrush with him. He rinsed his mouth with cold water for a couple of minutes and washed his face with cold water, trying to wake himself up further. Raising his head, he looked into the mirror and was not happy with what he saw. He had large bags under his eyes, despite the fact that he had slept for so long and his skin was pale and also clammy with sweat. He looked as bad as he felt.

Not even bothering to dry his face, he went to his bedroom and grabbed his car keys off the table next to the bed. He didn't even need to do a check of the room. Usagi walked out the door and down the hall towards the elevator. After a very short elevator ride, Usagi made his way to the lobby to check out. He dragged his feet, moving as slowly as he possibly could without drawing attention to himself. In truth, Usagi didn't really want to leave. Instead, he wanted to stay longer and get away from everything….everything that he had done wrong in the last week and a half but he knew he couldn't. He needed to get home and try to contact Misaki, even if he didn't want to talk. Usagi decided to do everything in his power and then some to get Misaki back. He was not going to let go…ever. With that thought in mind, he quickened his pace.

When he reached the receptionist counter, he was glad to see the same woman that had assisted him yesterday. She smiled at Usagi when she saw him. And Usagi probably would have smiled back at her too if he didn't feel so horrible. The lady continued to smile at him as he handed her his identification and it made him want to soften his expression a little. He didn't however. The lady thanked him and Usagi was made his way towards the exit, his expression sullen and unhappy still. But you couldn't blame him for it. He was in no mood to be smiling at all.

Outside, he walked to his car got in the driver's side. He sighed and then put the keys into the ignition and started the engine. Pulling back into the street, he began the three hour drive home to Tokyo. He drove in silence though he wasn't even really concentrating on the road. All his thoughts and senses were on Misaki once again. He needed to find a way to speak with Misaki in person, privately. Somewhere and sometime where they wouldn't be interrupted. He remembered the woman at the front desk at Murakawa saying that Ijuuin had the rest of the week off…but when was that exactly? Usagi lost track of time in his own self-loathing and it made it hard to keep up with the days. Misaki could be alone at this very minute, he could be missing an opportunity to speak with the brunette alone, without the watchful eyes of Ijuuin lurking in the near distance.

The thought of the mangaka spending time with Misaki sent rage running through his veins. Usagi gripped the wheel tight and increased his speed. With his eyes locked on the road ahead of him, the only thoughts that were running through his mind were on Misaki. Thinking about him, made the drive go by faster. Before he even knew it, he was already back in Tokyo, less than twenty minutes from his condo. Usagi pulled onto his street and drove as quickly as the speed limit would allow him to. He decided that when he got home, he would call Ijuuin's number again to see if he was home or not. If he didn't pick up, then he go to his apartment and look for Misaki himself.

His tall condo complex came into a view and Usagi drove to the parking garage to park his car. He then hastily walked to the elevator and took it up to his floor. Usagi hastily walked to his apartment door and punched in the entrance code. As soon as it clicked, he swung the door open and began to step inside of his apartment. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Todo standing in front of him rolling two suitcases behind him. Usagi automatically knew that they belonged to Misaki. His gritted his teeth and looked up at Todo, his face darkening by the second. Todo looked as surprised to see Usagi. He was looking around from side to side, as if he were trying to find another way out of the condo. But there was only one way out and it was through Usagi. And he'd be damned if he let Todo leave with Misaki's things. He let the door close shut behind him and glared at Todo angrily. Todo was the first to speak.

"U-Usami-sensei….uh…hi….I'm sorry that I just came in here without permission but I just came to get Misaki's things. He gave me your entrance code", Todo said, looking at Usagi.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?", Usagi asked darky.

"Um…leaving actually", Todo said.

_Uninjured I hope….._, Todo thought.

"I mean what do you think you're doing with Misaki's things?", Usagi asked, taking a step closer.

Todo sighed.

"Like I told you…I'm leaving. Misaki….uh….he told me you guys had a fight or something", Todo said.

"Sorry about that, by the way", he added.

_So am I…_, Usagi thought, sadly, but his hard expression didn't change.

"Look, I don't know what happened exactly between you two but it must be pretty serious if Misaki's moving out because of it….Again I'm really sorry that you two had a falling out.", Todo said.

Usagi remained silent.

"This is the last of Misaki's things. I have the rest in my car so….don't worry. I won't be back", Todo said, as he moved towards the door.

_Won't be back…_, the thought echoed in Usagi's mind for a few seconds, even as he was looking at Todo moving around him to get to the door.

Misaki's sad face suddenly flashed in his mind, tears silently running down his face.

_I won't be coming back here, Usagi-san…_

Just as Todo was about to move closer to the door, Usagi moved in his way again and stared him dead in the eyes. It was a look that could kill. Todo was surprised, but he stood his ground.

"You're not going anywhere….at least not with Misaki's things", Usagi said, darkly.

"Wh-what do you mean?", Todo asked, suddenly feeling nervous.

"I mean you're not taking Misaki's things with you", Usagi said.

Todo's eyes opened wider in shock. He was definitely taken aback.

"But…Misaki needs the rest of his stuff, you know. You guys had a fight and he's just trying to get out…what's the point of making it so hard for him to leave?", Todo asked, nervously.

"If you look around you, Todo…you'll see that this is my apartment….and you're not supposed to be here without **my** consent. Now get out before I make you", Usagi said.

Todo let out a nervous laugh. It reminded Usagi of Misaki.

"Th-this is some kind of a joke right? Y-you're not like this at all", Todo said, letting out another nervous laugh.

But he stopped when he saw that Usagi was not smiling. This was no joking matter to him.

Todo stared at Usagi again, this time realizing how serious Usagi was.

"L-look…I don't want any trouble. Just let me take the rest of Misaki's things…and I'll be on my way. There's no need to call the police or anything. What would you tell them anyway?", Todo said.

Usagi took three more steps closer to Todo, his expression dark and murderous.

"Todo...I don't believe I made myself clear…you're **not** taking Misaki's things", he said darkly.

He took another step closer and Todo took a step back.

"Also…I never said that I'd call the authorities on you", Usagi said, in a low voice.

Todo looked surprised again.

"R-Really?", Todo asked. Usagi's dark expression did not change.

"No…I won't call them….but the way I see it, you have two choices. You can either leave those suitcases and get out or you can try to leave with them and suffer for it", Usagi said, darkly.

"Wh-what?", Todo asked.

Usagi took another step towards Todo. But the younger man could not find it in himself to move. Usagi's stared was too menacing to even look away from it. Usagi let his 6'3'' frame tower over Todo.

"Let me be frank with you and make you understand….if you don't leave right this second, I'm going to break your arms in two", Usagi said.

He took another step closer and stared Todo down.

In reality, the author did not want to treat any of Misaki's friends in this manner, but it seems that he had no choice. If Todo leaves with the rest of Misaki's stuff, then it'll all be over. It would be the end of his and Misaki's relationship….it would be the end of him. He couldn't let that happen.

Usagi knew that Todo had been playing sports since he was a child, so he knew that Todo was in good shape physically. If Todo decided that he wanted to defend himself, then he would be able to put up a pretty good fight. But still….Usagi was sure that he would win if it came to that.

Usagi continued to stare at Todo, his expression remaining hard and cold. Finally after another minute of silence, he heard the handles for both suitcases drop on the floor. Usagi stepped back and walked to the door and opened it.

"Get out", Usagi said, darkly.

Todo cast one last worried glance at Usagi and then slowly made his way out of the apartment. Usagi shut the door behind him.

After another minute, Usagi picked up Misaki's suitcases took them back upstairs to his room. He stopped as soon as he looked inside. He saw that the closet and walls were now bare. The bed was stripped of all the covers, leaving only a mattress and the framing. Usagi walked in further and let the suitcases drop to the floor. Examining all the drawers, he saw that all of Misaki's clothes were gone. It was as if…Misaki never lived there in the first place. Usagi shivered to himself. Was this room always so…big? He was instantly overcome by feelings of despair and loneliness. Walking over to the closet, he saw that the only things that were left were the suits that Usagi had bought for Misaki. He obviously made it clear that he didn't want them.

Usagi left the room quickly, not wanting to see what was no longer there. He suddenly felt that he needed to get out again. The feeling was intense, too intense. Things in his condo seemed so out of place without Misaki around. His condo, everything felt too empty. There was nothing there for him. Something was missing and Usagi knew exactly what it was…but would he be able to get it back?

He needed to get Misaki back beside him. He just had to. This feeling, the aching pain in his chest refused to go away. It gnawed at him day in and day out. It was too painful to deal with anymore. Desperation and woe clawed his entire existence, making him feel small and wretched. He felt like nothing, he was nothing.

Usagi walked down the stairs and threw on his coat. He had to get out. If even for a minute. When he reached the door again, he noticed that there was a note on the door. Usagi snatched it up, hoping that it was from Misaki. He sighed, recognizing Aikawa's handwriting. She had been here. Usagi was glad that he made the decision to leave before. And now he was going to do it again. But he'd be back in a couple of hours this time.

As he was about to open the door, he stopped himself. He couldn't leave, he realized. Not when he hadn't even saw Misaki. How could he? Usagi hung his coat back on the rack and started to make his way over to the living room. Once there he threw his keys on the couch and then made his way over to the phone. He could already see the blinking red light, and he already knew that his editor had left too many messages for him to want to even listen to. He sighed. Aikawa would have to wait. Usagi looked at the phone again. He wanted to call Misaki but at the same time he didn't. Part of the reason was because he knew that Misaki would not pick up and the other one was that there was a chance that Ijuuin might still be there. And there was no way that he would let him speak with Misaki. Not when he had Misaki in his grasp.

Usagi furrowed his eyebrows in anger, remembering that he had already vowed that he was not going to let Ijuuin have Misaki. He would never allow such a thing. Usagi sat on the couch and clasped his hands between his lap, thinking seriously.

What was a surefire way that he could make sure that Misaki was alone when he talked to him? Misaki did say that he was going to be taking computer classes before he starts working at Murakawa, so there's a possibility that he could ambush him at school. Misaki wouldn't be able to cause a scene because he's in public. Usagi groaned to himself. He felt like he was planning a kidnapping.

But he just wanted to talk with Misaki. No, in fact Misaki wouldn't even need to speak at all. Usagi could do all the talking. The only thing that he really wanted was for Misaki to listen to what he had to say. But what was there to say? I'm sorry I cheated on you, will you forgive me anyway? Do they make a card for that? Definitely not.

He wanted to make Misaki understand that it was a mistake that he slept with Masayoshi. A very big mistake. The one Usagi loved was Misaki and no one else. He let his emotions run him for a split second and did something stupid. Now all his wanted, all his needed was Misaki. His feelings for the brunette would never change…ever. Everything of himself was Misaki. And he needed him. Usagi didn't even know who he was without him. He was the most important person in his life.

_Then why did you betray him?_ A little voice in the back of his head asked. He must be going crazy if he was hearing voiced. Still the little voice had a good question and Usagi may or may not know that answer, but right now he didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to think about anything….except Misaki of course.

Usagi pushed himself deeper into the couch cushions and allowed himself to relax. He did not want to move….he would not move until he saw Misaki. And he had a feeling that he would, or he hoped his would at least. The older man knew that he was behaving like a child. Being spoiled and waiting for the thing he wanted most to come to him. But he didn't care. He would most likely act anyway if it meant that it would bring Misaki back to him. What he wanted most was Misaki's small, soft body wrapped in his arms where he could hold him tight and inhale his scent. He threw his head back and closed his eyes, imagining that Misaki was next to him. Usagi needed Misaki like no one needed anyone else. And he was going to wait for him. No matter how long it took Usagi to get him back, he would have Misaki in his arms again.

* * *

**A/N: Well things don't seem to be going to well for Usagi-san! :O  
**

**And look how violent he's become D: (OOC? O_O'')**

**Oh and yeah! I was so surprised when I got all these comments saying that Misaki should just dump Usagi! LOL. It was kind of funny. One comment read: "f**ck Usagi! Let Misaki be happy with Ijuuin"**

**I actually laughed a little. But I would say the same thing if I was reading this story :O**

**And Misaki ending up with Ijuuin is a very strong possibility at this point.**

**Hell I don't even know where I'm going with this story now. O_O''**

**But i guess that's the fun of writing! **

**See you all next time!**

**Please rate and comment! ^0^**


	61. Chapter 61: Leaving

**A/N: Hey all! I'm back with chapter 61! Please enjoy it! :)**

* * *

Another two hours slowly passed as Usagi sat on the couch, staring into space. The only thing that he wanted to do was to wait for Misaki to be ready to talk to him. But on the inside, he felt as if he were going insane. Though his eyes were trained on the phone in front of him, his mind was certainly somewhere else, a place where he didn't know. Being inside his apartment felt unwelcoming and cold now that Misaki was not inside of it. Once again, the walls seemed to be closing in around him. He didn't understand it. He wasn't even claustrophobic. But the author already knew why he was feeling this way and it was all because of Misaki. He couldn't help but laugh at himself. He felt pathetic. When did he become so dependent on Misaki's presence? It must be love. At least that's what Usagi thought. Ever since Misaki ran away, his chest felt heavy and tight, as if he couldn't breathe. And here he was in his apartment feeling as if he could truly die from loneliness.

The walls continued to close in around him. Everything around him was silent, dead silent, as if he was in a timeless void in space. Had it always been so quiet? The silence was almost deafening, making his ears ring in pain. Usagi put his head between his hands and leaned further into the couch cushions. He was going crazy. He really was. The feeling to get out of the condo returned, only stronger this time. His legs itched to get up and walk out the door. Even a couple seconds out would be fine. After a few more minutes, the urge to leave overpowered his urge to stay and wait. After all, Misaki wasn't here so why should he want to stay here? Usagi looked at the phone again. It hadn't rang in all the time he was waiting. Even Aikawa had stopped calling. His heart sank. Misaki wasn't going to talk to him.

Again, Usagi stood from the couch and put on his coat. He made his way down to the car garage and quickly walked to his own car. Once he was inside with the doors closed, he leaned his head back and sighed sadly. Taking in a deep breath, he finally put his keys in the ignition and started the car. When he reached outside, he turned onto a random street. He didn't even know where he was going. He just knew that he was going somewhere that wasn't home.

_But where is home without Misaki?_

The thought made his lavender eyes sting with fresh tears again. But he held them in. He didn't want to cry, at least not in a place where he couldn't be alone. Suddenly a place with trees and flowers passed through his thoughts very briefly. Usagi made a left turn onto a secluded street and then a right turn onto another. Still he didn't know where he was going, but he didn't care. He let his feet and heart do most of the driving His mind was elsewhere, probably on Misaki. More trees and grassland came into view ahead of him and Usagi suddenly knew where he was. It was the park where him and Misaki viewed flowers and ate picnics. He didn't even knew he remembered it. They had only been there a couple of times. But here, he felt at peace.

Usagi tuned onto an empty patch of grass and parked his car. He got out and slowly walked towards a large tree with cherry blossoms already beginning to bloom healthily. He looked at it sadly, thinking of Misaki. If things had went the way they should have, he would have brought Misaki here for their anniversary. But he did away with that in one night.

Usagi looked it his surroundings. In spring, the cherry blossoms were beautiful, like they were now. But in the colder months, like November and October, the park was a wonderland full of crisp leaves of all colors and fresh, cold air. He remembered how he had always thought autumn suited Misaki. He could recall one time when he and Misaki had come here in October. Seeing Misaki in the middle of all those trees under the dim orange light made him realize how much autumn suits the brunette. The leaves that fall on his hair, the puff of chill air that comes out of his mouth and nose whenever he breathed, his cheeks reddening from the cold, and the way the golden light reflected on his green eyes. Autumn suited him well, but summer also reminded him of Misaki. To him Misaki was the sun, more than that even. And now he was gone. The only thing that he could see in from of him now was darkness.

Looking to his right. Usagi noticed a single bench and walked over to it. Sitting on it, he felt cold and alone despite the low warm sun that was out. There was no one in the park now. He was grateful for that. The author wanted to be alone. He may have to get used to it sooner or later. The aching pain in his heart returned, making him wince slightly. Alone….he was alone. Misaki had left him and for good reason. But he didn't want that. He didn't want Misaki to be out of his life….ever.

He bit his lip, trying to keep from crying, but it was no use. He closed his eyes and silently let the tears stream down his face.

* * *

Misaki lay on his back with a volume of The Kan draped over his face. He was relaxing. Even though it felt strange to him, he actually felt right at home in Ijuuin's apartment. It was a different feeling but he definitely liked it. He couldn't remember the last time he had gotten so used to his surroundings so quickly. It made him feel almost giddy with a feeling he couldn't even describe himself. His thoughts then turned pensive and serious.

He let a light sigh escape his lips. Could he really stay here…with Ijuuin? The thought crossed his mind for the third time that day. It was true that Misaki liked living in Ijuuin's apartment and he enjoyed being around Ijuuin but there was definitely an elephant in the room that needed to be addressed. Ijuuin had confessed to him a week ago and here he was _living with_ him? Was this really OK? He truly treasured Ijuuin and everything about him but he didn't feel that those feelings gave him a right to take advantage of Ijuuin. Misaki frowned slightly. Was it fair to Ijuuin to reject his feelings and then just start living with him out of the blue? Misaki did not think so. The mangaka deserved to be treated with as much kindness as the world could offer. When Ijuuin offered to let him stay here, he hadn't even thought about it. He just said yes without even thinking.

Misaki sighed again, thinking of what he should do. He knew that the right thing to do was to leave and find somewhere else to stay but at the same time he didn't want to go anywhere. He liked it here. He liked Ijuuin. Misaki blushed at the thought, finally admitting to himself that Ijuuin was special to him. He then blushed deeper at the fact that he had blushed in the first place. Why was he blushing anyway? Misaki pressed the manga volume deeper into his face, not wanting to think about it.

After all, there was no way that Misaki liked Ijuuin…not in that way anyway. Misaki pulled the shirt he had borrowed from Ijuuin closer around his body. He felt warm with it on. Without even thinking about it, he pulled the collar to his face and inhaled. It smelled like Ijuuin. Misaki blushed a deep shade of red and then shook his head. Why did he just do that? Surely it must have been because he liked the way that Ijuuin's body wash smelled. Because there was _no_ way that he had feelings for Ijuuin. For the next five minutes that's what he kept telling himself.

Ijuuin was just a good friend to him. He was taking care of Misaki while he got his affairs in order. Just because he was living in the same apartment as Ijuuin did not mean that they had a romantic relationship. But then again, that's how things started out with Usagi too. Misaki's chest suddenly tight, thinking of the silver haired man. He felt like crying again. Misaki closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He was right after all. There's no way that he could have feelings for Ijuuin. Not when he was still in love with Usagi, not when just the thought of those passionate, lavender eyes caused his heart to ache in pain. Misaki suddenly felt the urge to pick up the phone and dial Usagi's phone. Just to hear his voice. But he suppressed this feeling and pushed the thought in the back of his mind. That was over and done with already.

All Misaki had to do was retrieve his things from the condo and it would be finished, and lucky for him Todo was taking care of that. He'd be able to close that chapter in his life and write a new one. But he knew it would be hard. In his heart, Misaki didn't think that he'd be able to find his place in life if Usagi wasn't there with him. And he was scared, terrified even. Would he be OK without Usagi? He knew he was going to find out. There was no way he could go back after what happened.

Misaki closed his eyes again. He listened to everything around that was around him and tried to take everything in. Inside the apartment was quiet. Ijuuin had gone out, probably to meet with his editor. But he would be back later. The brunette sulked ever so slightly. Though he didn't want to admit it, he felt lonely when Ijuuin was gone. It was so easy to get used to him being around. Misaki blushed again.

_I do __**not**__ miss him. It's just really quiet in here without him here is all!..._, Misaki thought eagerly, trying to convince himself.

But he didn't really know what he was feeling in the first place. A small laugh escaped his lips. What was happening to him? Misaki put his hands over his face and let out another sigh. His insides felt as if they had been tied into knots. He didn't want to deal with his feelings, at least not now.

_Th-there's no way that I could like Kyou like that…no way!...besides I…I…_, Misaki trailed off, He didn't even know what he was thinking anymore. He didn't want to think anymore. Somewhere, deep down, he felt…wrong, like Usagi had broken him in some way. He didn't think that he could be fixed. He was damaged goods.

Misaki's mind flew back to the night when he found Usagi in bed with someone else. He couldn't help but let a teary whimper escapes his lips. Why was he still crying over him? Usagi threw him away for someone else. He didn't want to cry over him anymore. He didn't want to think about him. And he certainly didn't want to have feelings for him anymore. But….he still did. Another sob rose from the back of his throat. Misaki was glad that Ijuuin was out for the day. He turned on his side and closed his eyes, allowing the warm tears to silently fall and gently biting his lip so he wouldn't make any sounds.

Suddenly the phone on the wall began to ring. Misaki slowly raised his teary, red eyes and looked in the direction of the sound. He sat up and walked over to the phone. He wiped his eyes with his sleeve and sniffed and few times before answering.

"Hello?", Misaki answered, trying his best to sound casual.

"_Misaki?__I'm __glad__ you picked up"_, said the person on the other end. Misaki recognized Todo on the other end immediately.

"Oh, Hey Todo. What's up?", Misaki greeted.

"_Actually, I was calling about your stuff that I was supposed to get from Usami-sensei's place"_, Todo said.

"Oh…did you get them already?", Misaki asked, almost hopefully.

There was a short silence on the other end, which is never a good thing.

"Todo, is everything alright?", Misaki asked worriedly.

"_Yeah…about your stuff…._", Todo started.

He took a breath and spoke again.

"_Uh…well there's some good news and bad news"_, He said.

"Uh oh", Misaki said.

"What happened?", he asked.

"_Well…the good news is that I packed __up __you__r__ stuff and I have most of it in my car", _Todo said.

Misaki exhaled.

"But that's good", he said, confused.

"_Wait a sec…you didn't let me finish….um…how do I say this?..."_, Todo said.

"…_..the bad news is that…Usami-sensei was there and I couldn't get the rest of your stuff…"_, he finished.

Misaki's heart sank.

"I-I see", Misaki said.

"_I'm really sorry, Misaki….but he was acting really weird..."_, Todo said.

"W-weird?", Misaki asked, curious.

"_Yeah…he wouldn't let me leave with the rest of your things…__.he was acting pretty violent __too"_, Todo said.

"D-did he hurt you or anything?", Misaki asked.

Todo sighed on the other end of the line.

"_No…but he came pretty close to….we almost kind of got into it….but I know that he's your brother's friend so I didn't really want to fight him"_, Todo said.

"_I'm really sorry"_, Todo apologized again.

Misaki shook his head.

"No…It's good that you didn't fight him. You could have gotten in trouble for it. I'm the one who should be sorry. I didn't mean to put you in that kind of situation", Misaki said.

"_Don't worry about it. I'm more concerned about you. What are we going to do about you stuff?"_, Todo asked.

Misaki thought for a moment and came up empty on any good ideas.

"I-I don't know", Misaki said.

He paused for another moment and thought again. He took a deep breath and spoke.

"I-I guess I'll just have to get my stuff myself", Misaki said.

There was another pause on the other end. Todo was thinking.

"_Alright then. When should we go over there?"_, Todo asked.

Misaki felt touched that Todo was still willing to help him. And he desperately wanted it. If Todo was there when he went to get his things, then he would feel less nervous. But he had to think about Todo too. He didn't want to make Todo uncomfortable in anyway, especially after he had already gone there and nearly got into an altercation with the older man. As much as Misaki dreaded it, he would have to do it himself.

He let out a deep breath and spoke to his friend again.

"I'm really happy that you'd want to help me…but you don't need to come", Misaki said, trying his best not to sound nervous and unwilling.

"_You mean you're going to go alone__?__"_, Todo asked.

"Uh…yeah", Misaki said.

There was a pause on the other end of the phone. Todo was thinking.

"_I don't know, Misaki….are __sure __you want to go by yourself?"_, Todo asked, seriously.

Misaki took another deep breath and spoke.

"Yeah….I mean I don't think it'd be a good idea for you to come…not after what happened earlier", Misaki said.

"_I'm still not too sure about this….maybe you should call your brother. He'd help you out"_, Todo reasoned.

The thought had crossed Misaki's head at least a thousand times, but he didn't want to bother his older brother. He has a family to take care of. Besides that, Usagi and Takahiro are close friends. Misaki didn't want to get in the way of their friendship.

"No…I'll just go get my things first and then tell Nii-chan about my situation later", Misaki said.

Todo paused again before speaking.

"_Are you sure that you really want go alone?...He was in such crappy mood. What if he gets violent or something?"_, Todo said.

Misaki thought for a moment. Usagi had never gotten violent with him before and now would be a pretty bad time to start anyway. Usagi would never hurt him…physically anyway. But then again, Misaki never thought that Usagi would cheat on him either. He wasn't going to trust anything he thought he knew about Usagi….not anymore.

He paused.

"I'll be careful", Misaki promised.

"_Ok. But call if anything happens, alright?"_, Todo said.

"Deal", Misaki answered.

They talked for a couple more minutes before saying their goodbyes. After he hung up, Misaki went to the guest bedroom and got dressed. He was glad that Ijuuin had a laundry machine and washer. After he was finished he went downstairs and put on an old pair of Ijuuin's shoes. Since he had run out of Usagi's condo wearing nothing but slippers, he'd have to borrow them. Luckily for him, Ijuuin had a pair of shoes that fit him. They were Ijuuin's…. from when he was in middle school. Once he was ready, Misaki headed for the door. A couple of feet away, however, he stopped. He patted his pockets and realized that he had no money. Misaki slapped his forehead with his palm. Of course he had no money. He dropped his entire bag in hallway with everything in it. And Todo probably had the rest packed away in his car. How was he supposed to get there?

An idea came to his mind. He walked back into the living room towards the phone and dialed the operator.

"_Operator 429041 speaking. How may I direct your call?"_, a machine said.

"Please connect me to a no charge cab company", Misaki said.

"_One moment please"_, said the voice.

The phone rang five times before someone picked up.

"Kaisha cab. How may I help you?", greeted a woman.

"Ah yes. I'd like to request a cab", Misaki said.

"What Is your address?", the attendant asked.

Misaki gave her the information and within ten minutes, the driver called to tell him that he was outside waiting. Misaki quickly made his way down to the lobby and out the entrance. The cab was parked down the street. He got in and quickly gave the driver the address of Usagi's condo and then he was off. A fifteen minute drive later, the familiar condo came into view. Once it was a place that Misaki called home, but now it was just the memory of where he got his heart broken. Pushing such thoughts out of his head, he forced himself not to get emotional. The driver stopped the car across from the condo, on the opposite street and announced their destination. Misaki thanked the driver and hastily made his way towards the entrance. He was eager. Misaki wanted to get his things as soon as possible so that he could leave.

He jogged through the lobby doors and made took the elevator to Usagi's floor. Walking briskly down the hall, he found himself in front of Usagi's apartment door before he knew it. Now that he was standing directly in front of the door, he really didn't know what to do. He wanted to get in and get out as fast as he could but at the same time he didn't want to go in at all. He was too scared. However, Misaki knew that it had to be done if he wanted to get on with his life. He raised his hand and knocked loudly on the door and waited a few minutes. No one answered. He knocked again, even louder but there was still no answer. He was a little relieved, actually. Taking a deep breath, Misaki punched the entrance code into the keypad and opened the door.

He opened the door a crack and peered inside. There was no one in sight. He opened the door wider and took a cautious step inside. Looking around again, Misaki still could not see any signs that there was anyone in the condo. Fully stepping inside, he carefully closed the door behind him. He looked the staircase that led to the next floor. He did not want to go up there but he knew he had to. Practically tip toeing, Misaki carefully made his way up the stairs, wincing even at the slightest squeak his shoes made on the steps. In normal circumstances, he would have removed his shoes first, but he already decided that he would keep them on so that he could leave in a hurry.

After what seemed to be forever, Misaki reached the top of the stairs. Quietly, he made his way towards the bathroom door. Again, he opened it a crack and peeped inside to see if it was occupied. It wasn't He ran to the counter and snatched his toothbrush up, among other things and then quickly left, making sure he closed the door to make it look undisturbed. Next, he carefully walked in the direction on his own room, his former room. He made sure to be extra quiet since he would be passing Usagi's bedroom. As he passed the author's bedroom, he noticed that the door was opened. The brunette nearly felt his heart stop. He pressed himself to the wall and held his breath. Was the author asleep? Did he wake him up? Misaki stood still for a few moments and then noticed that there were no sounds of life coming from inside the dark room.

He finally caved and took a look inside. From the light in the hallway, Misaki could see that there was no one in the bedroom. Misaki couldn't help but breathe a loud sigh of relief. Usagi wasn't home! He could get the rest of his things and be gone without Usagi even knowing that he had come. It looked as if luck was on his side today. Walking faster and without any attempted stealth, he made his way to the bedroom that he once called his own. He looked inside and saw that the suitcases were still as Todo had packed them. Yep this would definitely be easy.

Walking further into the room, Misaki couldn't help but look around. This was his room, his home for the last five years of his life. Looking at the bareness of it now, Misaki was overcome by a sudden wave of sadness that threatened to bring more tears to his eyes. It would be as if he never lived here, as if he never existed here. He would miss it. But he knew he had to move on. The room had so memories. He could remember the times that Usagi had crept into his and night and how he woke up with the older man's long arms around him. He could also remember all the times that Usagi had held him whenever he had his nightmares. Usagi had always been there for him. It was terrifying to think that this would be the last time that he was in his condo, the last time he would have anything to do with him. How could the person closest to him betray him like this?

Misaki shook his head. No. There's no use thinking about it anymore. The only left to do is move on. Walking over to his bed, he got on his knees and looked underneath it. It was empty. Todo had done a good job cleaning everything out. Next he checked the drawers, and his closet. All were bare of anything that belonged to him. The only thing left that could be traced to him were the suits that Usagi had bought for him. But he could keep them. He wouldn't need them.

Rolling his suitcases behind him, Misaki quickly walked down the hall towards the staircase. When he reached Usagi's bedroom he stopped. This room had wonderful memories for him….and some bad too. He shuddered, suddenly feeling nauseous at the thought. This was where he saw how Usagi had deceived him. Misaki put his hand to his mouth, trying to keep from crying all over again. He needed to leave and it had to be now.

He walked inside the room and searched with his eyes until he found what he was looking for. On the floor was his messenger bag. He looked inside and saw that everything was still where he had left it. He stuffed the bag in his suitcase and walked out, wheeling his bags along with him. On the bed was the anniversary gift that he had gotten for the author. He heart ached in pain and his eyes stung with tears but he pressed on and walked out. This time he closed the door behind him. Misaki placed once hand on the door and looked at it woefully. His chest felt tight but he uttered the word that he knew he wouldn't be able to say to Usagi's face.

"Goodbye", Misaki whispered as a single tear rolled down his cheek. He was sure that more were to come.

He grabbed his bags and walked down the stairs. Downstairs, he could feel his eyes stinging with more tears. He was right about the tears. Misaki decided that he would take the train back to Ijuuin's. He messenger bag had some money in it; he'd probably take the express train to the station and then call a cab from there. Taking the long way once in while is good. Gives you time to think. As Misaki rolled his bags towards the front door, he stopped. He could have sworn he heard something….like footsteps maybe? He hoped not. He truly did. He walked closer to the door, desperate to get out….and then he heard it. The buzzer of the door, signaling that someone had entered the entrance code and was coming in. Misaki's expression turned to one of shock and horror. The door knob twisted and then the door was slowly pushed open.

_No….please...I-I can't…..not now…..no…_, Misaki thought in horror. He knew who it was.

The first thing that Misaki saw was the familiar soft silver hair that seemed to shimmer in the sunlight, followed by a pair of long legs and arms moving into the apartment. A pair of surprised, lavender eyes met his and the brunette instantly felt frozen in place.

_Usagi-san…_

* * *

**A/N: Well so much for luck Misaki LOL**

**So yeah there was chapter 61! I bet you're all happy for this chapter, no? Because now Misaki has to talk to Usagi about what happened. O_O''**

**And he was sooooo close to making a clean getaway! Damn that Usagi and his timing...  
**

**Find out how the encounter goes! See you all in the next chapter!**

**Please rate and comment! ^0^**


	62. Chapter 62: Already Gone

**A/N: Hello everyone! I missed you all so damn much! First off, let me say thank you all soooo much for your comments and pm's on my story. I love them all! I swear that when I'm on the train or bus or even at home, I'm on my phone looking at the comments you guys leave and I just start smiling! And I can't stop! , especially when I get a really long comment. Don't be shy with them! I encourage wordy comments! People around me look at me like I'm crazy or something! Their like 'what are you smiling about? O_O' but of course I don't tell them XD **

**I know it took a while but I'm back with chapter 62! Sorry for the wait! I know some people have been talking about that kick ass cliff hanger I put in there but hey I needed to build up the suspense a little no? :3**

**Chapter 62 everyone! Please enjoy! :)**

* * *

Misaki stood in the entrance hallway, his trembling hands desperately holding onto the handles of his suitcases. His chest was tight and he seemed to be having difficulty breathing. Only an hour ago he had come back to Usagi's condo to retrieve the rest of his belongings that Todo had not been able to. He had said goodbye to his life with the author and put it behind him. It was now in the past. It was over. They were over. So then why did he feel as though he was trapped in some kind of trap that he couldn't escape from? Why couldn't he move from where he was standing? Misaki knew the answer himself. The reason why he couldn't make his feel move, the reason why he couldn't make any words come out of his mouth was because he was now face to face with Usagi. The older man's lavender eyes stared back into Misaki's, rendering all of his will weak and useless.

The two of them stood like that for a few moments, neither of them able to mouth words on any kind, wanting to say something but not able. Usagi looked as shocked to see Misaki as he was horrified to see him. He continued to stare at Misaki in both shock and desperation. Usagi was the first one to say something. Taking a step closer, he slowly raised his arm, reaching out to the small brunette.

"M-Misaki…", he said, as he took a step closer.

Misaki was still frozen in place. He couldn't move. Instead he continued to look at the older man. Fear and shock kept his feet rooted to the ground. Only when he finally noticed Usagi's long and elegant fingers reaching out to him, wanting to touch him, was he able to come back to reality. Yes reality. And a harsh one at that. Misaki had to remind himself of why he was leaving in the first place. Like lightning in his eyes, memories of the night when he found Usagi's naked body next to another's came flying into his head. He remembered finding Usagi in his room, the smell of sex and alcohol flowing off of his skin. He remembered crying, screaming, and then he remembered running. But most of all he could remember the searing pain his felt in his chest, how the feelings of hurt and betrayal felt as if they could tear him apart from the inside out. He remembered everything. Misaki continued to look into the eyes of the man who had caused him all this pain. He felt his eyes water but he held in the tears that fought to come to the surface.

Biting his lip, Misaki took a step back from Usagi. He didn't want Usagi to touch him….ever again. The older man's eyes showed hurt and sadness, seeing that the brunette had avoided his outreached hand. He stared at Misaki woefully, in desperation. Misaki looked away from his gaze. He knew that if he saw the hurt and need in the older man's eyes then he would want to run to him, comfort him. But he couldn't do that. Not anymore. There was no going back to what they used to be. Usagi took another step towards Misaki and the smaller man took another one backwards. He shook his head, still not meeting Usagi's gaze. He didn't want to look at him.

"M-Misaki…please...I-…", Usagi began, but stopped himself when he heard the sound of Misaki's small voice.

"A-Akihiko-san….", the brunette started. The formal name that the author was called by seemed to leave at bad taste in his mouth. To Misaki, he was Usagi. But not anymore. He would just have to get used to it.

"I-I just w-wanted to get the rest of my things", Misaki said in a small voice. The brunette could hear the sadness in his words. His voice was already beginning to crack with sobs. But he ignored it. He knew that he had to leave.

"No….", Usagi said, shaking his own head. He didn't want Misaki to leave him. He needed him. He took another step towards Misaki, wanting to close the distance between them. Again,, the brunette stepped away from him. He continued to look away from Usagi, not making any eye contact.

"I….j-just forget about it ok?", Misaki said, weakly.

Usagi felt the same aching heaviness on his chest again. His face saddened further. But he was still determined, desperate to fix things between Misaki and him.

"I….we need to talk", Usagi said, in a low voice. He took another step closer.

Misaki finally felt tears streaming down his face again. The sound of Usagi's voice weakened him in some way. Why was he still talking? Didn't he know what effect it had on him? He didn't want to hear it. He didn't want to hear Usagi's voice. More tears rolled down his cheek and the side of his face.

"Th-there isn't really anything so say is there?", Misaki said, woefully. Keeping his head low, he began to move past Usagi and towards the door. However the older man blocked his path and grabbed Misaki's slender arm tightly, stopping him.

"Misaki….I…I'm sorry…I'm so sorry", Usagi said, squeezing the brunette's arm tighter. Misaki felt himself flinch at the contact. It had been a while since Usagi had touched him. The familiar feel of Usagi's body next to his own made his heart hurt in remembrance. He could feel the desperation and need in the older man's touch and voice. Misaki felt his will falter. Why was it that even after being hurt so badly by this man, he wanted nothing more than to run into his arms? He remembered how Usagi had deceived him that night and resisted the strong urge to do just that. He quickly pulled his arm from Usagi's grip and stepped away from him.

Usagi, in turn, continued to stare at him, his face a mixture of both pain and sadness. He put his hand to his face and Misaki could see his body shudder once. When he lowered his face, Misaki saw the saddest face that he had ever seen. His expression was even sadder than the time when Takahiro called them to say that he wanted to take Misaki back to live with him and his wife in Osaka. Looking him, Misaki felt his chest ache in guilt and sadness, but he didn't act on it. He was not going to run back to Usagi. Not this time.

The momentary silence that echoed between the two of them was broken when Usagi began to speak again, his voice low.

"Please…", he said in a low voice.

Misaki felt more tears run down his face, He quickly wiped them away but it was useless. More came down in their place. He closed his eyes and slowly shook his head. Still, he could not stop crying. Usagi took another two steps in his direction, only this time Misaki didn't move. He couldn't. Again, he felt weak and stiff. Usagi grabbed his arm again, tighter this time.

"Misaki….", Usagi began sadly.

"I'm sorry…..", he said again.

Tears continued to stream down his face. Usagi saw them and felt as if his heart was being twisted in two at the sight. He was the reason Misaki was crying now.

"What happened between me and…. that man….it shouldn't have happened….it should _never _have happened", he said in woe.

Again, images of Usagi's unfaithfulness flashed before his eyes, forcing him to relive every moment of it. Sobs began to form in the back of his throat at just the thought of it. He pulled away from Usagi and tried to push past him to get to the door, to get out. The suitcases behind him meant nothing to him at this point. He just wanted to get out. Why was it that he had to suffer like this? Hadn't Usagi hurt him enough?

Usagi grabbed his arm again, this time turning Misaki to face him. His eyes were both desperate and sad.

"Please…pleas….listen to me", Usagi beseeched him.

"I…I…don't even know what happened….I…it's just that after you left that day…my mind went blank….going out with that man was just…I don't know…but it was a one-time mistake….my whole life flashed before my eyes…I-", Usagi continued but stopped when he heard the sound of Misaki's voice.

"J-Just let me g-get the rest of my stuff…..", Misaki said, tearfully.

"Misaki…please….", Usagi said, sadly again.

"I-I….n-no…", Misaki said, feeling more tears in his eyes.

"Please…I…I...didn't mean it…any of it…I love you….you, Misaki…you know that….", Usagi said, hopelessly.

His voice became more pleading.

"Misaki….I….I think I was just…", Usagi began,

"No…no….I know….I was just upset…angry that you had become so close to Ijuuin-sensei….I was wrong….I see that now…but please….please….don't do this…..don't leave me…..", he said, pleadingly.

"I….don't want to…have to wake up a day without you beside me….please I-", Usagi started but was cut off.

"I-I'll just come back w-when you're not here", Misaki said, through his tears. He turned to leave again, not even bothering take his things with him. But Usagi followed him and stepped in front of him as he moved the door.

"No, Misaki! Talk to me!...hit me!...anything….do something…Misaki, just talk to me…please….", Usagi said, sadly. He was desperate now….so desperate. Usagi could feel warm tears beginning to form in his own eyes. He had to fight to hold them in, even though he didn't want to.

Tears were still running down Misaki's face, but he did his best to ignore them. It was over between the two of them. He knew that better than anyone. This relationship could not be saved. It didn't matter how much Misaki loved him, how much he wanted them to be together. How could he go back to someone who he couldn't trust? It couldn't be done. Misaki knew that it was time for him to leave. He knew that if he stayed any longer then he wouldn't want to leave. It was much too painful. He didn't want to be hurt any more than he already had. He slowly lifted his tear streaked face and looked Usagi in the eyes. With a painful heart, he said the one thing that he never wanted to say to the older man's face.

"It-it's over", Misaki said, still crying. Again he tried to move towards the door but the author stood in his path.

Usagi felt his chest tighten in despair. He had told Misaki time and time again that there was not a single person out there for him except him and how much he needed him; how he couldn't go a single day without him. And he meant it. What would he be without Misaki by his side? Surely he could die of loneliness. He was scared…so scared. He didn't want to go through that pain…not again. He didn't want to face the world if it meant living without Misaki. He didn't even want to think about it. He stared at Misaki for few moments and before he knew it, his body was acting on its own, moving towards Misaki. In one movement he lunged at Misaki and pressed his body to his smaller one. Leaning down slightly, Usagi grabbed Misaki's face and kissed him, roughly and desperately, as if trying to imprint himself on the brunette's lips.

The kiss was so sudden that Misaki had no time to react. His eyes were opened wide in his own shock at the current events. Usagi was kissing him. He was kissing him. It was too much for the brunette to deal with. Suddenly, the face of a silver eyed man flashed before his eyes. And his mind went blank. That man. Usagi…he probably kissed that man didn't he? What was his name? He didn't know and he didn't know why he was even thinking about such a thing. But Usagi…he kissed that man, he knew it. He was kissing him with the same lips that he had betrayed him with. Misaki didn't want that. How could Usagi kiss him with the same lips he had kissed someone else with? It was disgusting, vile, abominable even. He put both hands against the older man's chest, trying to push him away. For a moment he was able to detach himself from Usagi's panting. But less than a second later, Usagi placed his large hands on either sides of Misaki's face and pulled his face towards his again, kissing him. The older man pushed his warm tongue past Misaki's lips and into his mouth. There, he made their tongues wrestle and kiss. The brunette could practically feel Usagi's tongue down his throat.

"N-no….stop!", Misaki, protested, pulling his face away.

And again, Usagi held Misaki's face between his hands kissing him. His lips trailed down to Misaki's delicate neck for a brief moment, blowing on his skin.

"A-Akihiko-san….", Misaki, said, weakly.

The older man wrapped his arms tightly around Misaki's body. He pulled his face from Misaki's neck and looked him in the eyes, his own eyes filled with pain.

"Please…don't call me that…", he begged the brunette. He wanted Misaki to call him by the name that only he could call him by. He wanted that intimacy between the two of them back. He so despairingly wanted to get things back to normal between him and Misaki. He was not ready to let go….not now, not ever.

"L-let go!", Misaki said, pushing the older man's chest again. In response, Usagi pulled the brunette's face to his own and kissed him again.

Misaki tried to back away further but Usagi held him tight, not allowing him to move properly. By this time, the young man was getting dizzy from the intense kissing. He wanted to stop. He wanted to leave. Why couldn't Usagi let him forget? In another attempt to separate himself from Usagi, the younger man leaned back as far as he was able to and kicked the author in his shin. This caused his footing to falter and together, they both fell to the ground. In the next moment, Usagi was on top of Misaki. Despite the fall, the older man kept touching the brunette. Misaki flinched when he felt Usagi's large hands slide underneath his shirt, caressing his skin.

"I love you….I love you", Usagi whispered to the air.

Hearing the words made Misaki's tears come faster. Those words were nothing more than lies to him now.

"St-stop it!", Misaki said. Managing to turn slightly on his side, he tried to slide himself from underneath Usagi's body. He was on his knees now and was about to walk to the door when he felt the older man's arm drape around his waist. Misaki froze when he felt Usagi's hand unzipper his jeans. In another moment, he felt the Usagi's long fingers slide their way into his underwear. Misaki did not even have anytime to protest. Misaki flinched and whimpered when he felt Usagi's hand cup his manhood in his large hand and stroke it. Misaki was both surprised and horrified. He didn't want this…not now. His heart was no longer in it. Why was it that Usagi was doing this to him? Usagi's fingers stroked his heat again Misaki shivered. He was suddenly overcome by fear. Was it going be like last time? Was Usagi going to force himself of him again? Just the thought of it struck terror into his heart. But what he was afraid of was different than what one may think. Misaki was not afraid of the pain, but he was afraid of the coldness. He did not want to be held by Usagi if it was not out of love. And there was no love between them. Not anymore. Usagi had made that clear enough.

Misaki gritted his teeth to hold back the tears. He just wanted it all to end. Usagi had pushed him to his limit. His body began to shiver uncontrollably and he cried harder.

"N-no…..please…s-stop…..", Misaki said, weakly.

The sound of Misaki crying immediately made Usagi stop what he was doing. He looked at the younger man before him, sadness in his eyes. Why did he keep doing this? He didn't even have the answer.

"N-no!", Misaki said again.

"I….", Usagi began, but trailed off. What was he going to say to him? He moved his arms from around Misaki and in an instant the small boy was on his knees, zippering his pants. He was still crying and he wouldn't look in Usagi's direction. Misaki looked at the entrance again for the umpteenth time, hopelessly wanting to leave. He was about to when he felt Usagi's hand grip his arm again. Misaki flinched, scared of what the older man was going to do…and of what he wanted to do. He turned slightly to look in the author's direction and he saw just how sad he looked. It made Misaki's heart ache just by looking at him but it didn't change what he did. It didn't change anything between them.

"L-let go", Misaki said again.

"Misaki….please….I'm sorry…for everything….I….I….just want to be with you…..", Usagi said.

Warm tears were still in the brunette's eyes and he knew that it was only a matter of time before they started again. He needed to leave…now. Misaki shook his head again.

"N-no….you don't love me…s-so let go….", Misaki said, as he tried to pull his arm away, but Usagi held onto it.

"Misaki…please!...I…I've loved you since the first time we met…I…I can't lose you…please…stay…", Usagi begged him.

Usagi knew that he was being selfish and unreasonable asking Misaki to stay with him even after all he had put him through but he couldn't suppress the feelings that were now taking him over. He was so dependent on the younger man to the point that he felt as if he would not be able to move if he did not have Misaki with him. And he was so scared at the thought of losing him for…forever. He didn't want that to happen. He wouldn't let that happen. Usagi gripped Misaki's arm tighter.

"Please….don't…leave…", Usagi said again, his voice low. Suddenly he looked so vulnerable to Misaki, small even. It pained him to see the man that he loved like this but he had to consider his own feelings also. After what he did, Misaki didn't think that he'd be able to trust him again, which means that he would not be able to have a relationship with him. Yes there was love between them, but the trust was gone, so it would have to end here. Misaki knew that all too well.

"I-I'm leaving", Misaki said, teary eyed.

He moved closer to the door again. However Usagi held on, and in one swift movement pulled Misaki into his chest and buried his face in his warm head of hair. The warm embrace caught the brunette off guard. The way that Usagi was holding him now reminded him of the way he held him when they slept together. Just the feeling of it was enough to send a rush of warmth throughout his entire body. Misaki felt his eyes water again at the memories. He didn't want to remember them…he didn't want to remember any of the good memories that he and Usagi had made together. They were too painful. Doing so would only make leaving harder than it already was.

"L-let go of me!", Misaki said, pushing Usagi away from him.

"Please…Misaki….", Usagi begged again.

"I….no!...j-just let me go!", Misaki said again, crying.

Just then the front door loudly burst opened and none other than Ijuuin walked into the condo. Has soon as he walked in, he trained his eyes in on the scene in front of him. His eyes seemed to glint in anger when he saw that Usagi had his arms around a crying Misaki.

"K-Kyou?...wh-what are you-?", Misaki began but stopped himself when he heard Ijuuin speak.

"When I got back, you weren't there. I figured you would have come to Usami-sensei-s place to go the rest of your things. After half an hour I got worried and came looking for you", Ijuuin said, his eyes still shining in anger.

Seeing the mangaka, for some reason made the brunette feel relieved. Ijuuin was there….his friend Ijuuin was here with him now. He suddenly felt safer than he had in a long time. And he wanted nothing more than to run to him…and that's what he did. In one swift movement, Misaki managed to rip himself away from Usagi's grasp and ran to Ijuuin.

"Kyou!", Misaki said, throwing himself at the mangaka. He gripped on the front of Ijuuin's shirt and buried his face in his chest. It was comforting. Ijuuin instinctively wrapped an arm around Misaki's shoulder. He looked down at the ground at the large suitcases, eyeing them.

"Are these the rest of your things?", Ijuuin asked, looking at them.

"Ah…yeah", Misaki said, wiping his eyes and pulling away.

Without speaking, Ijuuin picked up the bags and carried them to the door. Misaki followed him. He placed the bags outside of the room and turned back to Misaki.

"Misaki…go wait in the car", Ijuuin said, handing Misaki his keys.

Misaki looked up surprised.

"B-but…", Misaki started.

"It's fine", Ijuuin reassured him.

He cast one last worried glance at the two men and then left the condo, making his way down the hall and towards the exit. Once he was gone and out of sight, Ijuuin turned his attention back on Usagi who seemed as about as happy to see Ijuuin as Ijuuin was to see him. Usagi's face darkened even further when Ijuuin turned to face the author directly.

"You….", Usagi growled.

"What are you doing here?", he asked darkly.

"You're scum, you know that?", Ijuuin said, darkly.

"You have no right to talk to me like that, Ijuuin-sensei. You have some nerve to come in here unannounced without permission", Usagi said, darkly in return.

Ijuuin met his stare, not wavering in any way.

"Well I do apologize then, Usami-sensei", Ijuuin said, mockingly.

"But when I heard Misaki's screams, I thought it would be best if I came to retrieve him", Ijuuin said.

"What goes on between me and Misaki is none of your business", Usagi growled.

"I'm making it my business", Ijuuin said.

"Move out of my way", Usagi said, moving towards the door, intending to follow after Misaki. Ijuuin however moved in front of him, blocking his path.

"Don't even think about it", Ijuuin said, seriously.

Usagi gritted his teeth in anger.

"Move…now", Usagi ordered.

"No", Ijuuin said.

Angry now, Usagi grabbed the front of Ijuuin's shoulder and shoved him to the side. However the mangaka barely moved from where he was standing and instead spun around behind Usagi and roughly pinned his arm behind his back. Usagi was surprised. Ijuuin was stronger than he looked. Usagi was taller and more muscular than Ijuuin, but here he was unable to move without feeling as though his arm would be broken out of its socket. Truthfully, he wanted to punch Ijuuin in the face and be done with it.

Ijuuin was the next to speak again.

"Now listen carefully, Usami-sensei…you need to leave Misaki alone. You're troubling him when you do such things. ", Ijuuin said.

He released his grip on Usagi, predicting that Misaki was now out of the building. Usagi turned to face him, his face angry and dark.

"You don't know anything about me and Misaki", Usagi said.

"Maybe…but I do know that he loved you and then you broke his trust, betrayed him. You threw him away for someone else the moment that things didn't go how _you _wanted them to. You had his love and you tossed it aside as if it were nothing. I suppose you didn't love him as much as you claimed", Ijuuin said.

"You made a stupid decision and this is the aftermath of it. Get over it", Ijuuin said, almost menacingly.

"Misaki belongs to me", Usagi said.

Don't treat Misaki like a thing. He decides whoever he belongs to", Ijuuin said.

"I've never treated Misaki as a thing!", Usagi said.

"Really? You sure as hell tossed him aside as if he were one", Ijuuin said.

"Do you think it's right for you to just walk in and cause trouble?", Usagi said.

"Do you think it's right to try and force Misaki to stay with you….even after what you did?", Ijuuin retorted back to him.

Usagi wanted to say something but he could not think of anything to. Ijuuin's words had struck a vulnerable spot in his heart. He knew that Ijuuin was right. He had no right to keep Misaki with him after breaking his trust the way he had. But he still wanted Misaki back with him.

Suddenly, the author was overcome by a feeling of emotion and rage. Misaki was leaving. Ijuuin had taken him away from him. How dare he do such a thing? There was no way that he would tolerate it. He moved towards the door again, this time rushing past Ijuuin. He was near the door when Ijuuin grabbed his arm, stopping him.

"Let him go", Ijuuin said.

Usagi's face darkened. What a foolish thing to say. Let Misaki go? How could he? Such a thing was not possible for him.

"I said get out of my way!", Usagi said, as he threw a punch in Ijuuin's direction. Again, Ijuuin's reflexes kicked in at that moment. Effortlessly dodging Usagi's punch, he caught the author's hand in midair and then delivered a quick but strong punch into his stomach. The blow knocked all of the wind out of Usagi and it shocked him. Before he would recover, Ijuuin elbowed him in the right shoulder and then punched Usagi square in the jaw, knocking him to the floor.

It took Usagi a few moments to recover from the intense blows. He was on his knees now, holding his stomach, the pain seeming to spread throughout his body. Blood trickled down his lip from the punch. He slowly lifted his head up and saw that Ijuuin was there staring him down, as if daring him to take him on.

The mangaka spoke again.

"I'm sorry for that just now, Usami0-sensei, but you were getting out of line", Ijuuin said, crossing his arms.

Usagi scoffed.

"You damn liar. You wanted to do that from the first time we met", Usagi said, angrily.

Ijuuin smirked.

"Maybe", he said.

He spoke again.

"We have the rest of Misaki's things, so I don't think I'll be troubling you again in the future", Ijuuin said.

Usagi continued to glare at Ijuuin.

"Don't come near Misaki again.", Ijuuin said darkly. He turned to leave, but stopped himself when he saw that Usagi was slowly raising himself off the floor. He was still holding his side and he was hunched over, but his eyes were strong with rage and determination.

He looked at Ijuuin, his eyes dark with anger and rage.

"I won't let you have Misaki", Usagi said, darkly.

In turn, Ijuuin stared back at him, his gaze unwavering.

"We'll see", Ijuuin said. Without another word, Ijuuin walked out the front door, closing it behind him.

After he left, Usagi continued to stare out the doorway after him. In his heart, he knew that it was not over. He wouldn't let it end. Usagi was fuming now and he couldn't calm himself down. There was nothing that he could do. Ijuuin had won this round. He shook his head in frustration. Practically limping, he made his way to the living room. As he entered the space, thoughts raced through his mind. What was he going to do? Now that Misaki had gotten the rest of his things, there was nothing keeping him here. Despite what he told himself earlier, it could really be over. Usagi felt his chest ache with sadness. Misaki…he had lost him. Tears welled in his eyes, warm and wet. They blinded him, all the emotions that he was feeling did.

He let out a frustrated growl of anger at himself. How could he have been so stupid? He had messed everything up. He was the one at fault here. Ijuuin had only rubbed salt in the wound and taken advantage of the situation. He would have probably done the same thing. He put his hands in his hair, pulling at the strands. What was he going to do? He bit his teeth. He was anger…so angry. He was angry and Masayoshi, at Ijuuin, but most of all he was angry at himself. Usagi looked around the living room and saw the remote control for the television on the floor. Without even thinking, he picked it up and threw it. He heard glass break. But he didn't care.

He then walked into the kitchen. In the kitchen was the cellar. And god did he need a drink. At least it would help to numb the pain, if only for a little bit. He could see the cellar door to in front of him. He walked faster, eager to be free of his pain and sadness. He was angry still. Would the liquor help with that too? Usagi breathed faster, panting. It was as if he were some kind of caged animal. Yes, he was in a cage that he had put himself in and he could not free himself from it. His suffering would be eternal. He kept moving towards the cellar, slowly. Ijuuin's punch made it hard for him to move. Walking, he placed his hand on the counter, trying to stable himself. His hand slipped, causing a dish that was on the counter to fall to the floor and break. The sound echoed in the empty kitchen, sending chills down his back.

Usagi looked down at the shattered glass. There was no feeling in his eyes, only anger. Turning in the other direction, he walked over to one of the cabinets and opened it. Inside, the dishes were washed and neatly stacked. And why shouldn't they be? Usagi hadn't really eaten since Misaki left.

Misaki….Just thinking of the brunette made his head dizzy and his heart ache in pain. And it made him angry. Usagi looked at the cabinet again. Without even thinking about it, he reached into the cabinet and pulled out a dish. He looked at it for a moment, running his finger along the edge. Then he threw it to the floor. It shattered into pieces, the glass spreading far and wide on the floor. He reached back into the cabinet and grabbed another handful of dished and tossed those to the floor, shattering them, trying to take out his anger, his frustration. It was the only outlet that he could think of. With every dish he broke, he cursed and yelled at himself, angry at himself for all that he had done wrong. Sleeping with Masayoshi, hurting Misaki, making him cry. They were all mistakes that he had made. Usagi punched the glass kitchen cabinets, shattering them as well. The sharp glass dug into his hands but he barely felt it. He was running on pure adrenaline at this point. He prowled around the kitchen for well over fifteen minutes, opening cabinets, breaking glasses and dishes, anything that could be shattered.

By the time he was finished, there was not a single dish or glass left in the kitchen. He kept throwing cups and mugs, breaking everything he could as if he were some kind of mad man. He may have become one at that very moment if not before. He felt as though he really had lost his mind. His eyes waters with tears and this time they made their way down his cheeks, coating his entire face. He was crying, uncontrollably. It was the loudest that he had ever cried before but he didn't care. He felt so ugly and hideous and maybe he was. He couldn't stop. The tears refused to stop coming. Usagi crumpled to the ground, his body shuddering with every sob that racked his body.

Misaki was all he could think about. He was the only thing that Usagi could think about. Misaki was his love his soul. Misaki was his life. But now that he was gone, Usagi felt as though he would die. And maybe that's exactly what he deserved.

* * *

**A/N: Awww poor Usagi! Well what? Did you guys expect Misaki to get back with him at the drop of a hat? Now way! LOL**

**I think Misaki made the right decision. But hey you never know what'll happen next right? O_O  
**

**See you all in the next chapter! Please rate and comment! ^0^**

*****ps: I just wanted to let you all know that I don't know if I'll be able to upload as fast anymore :(**

**That reason being because i finally found my bum ass a job! :D**

**I have never had a job...EVER! I'm so spoiled XD**

**Aren't you all proud of me? :)**

**But I'll upload chapters as fast as I can...I mean as fast as humanly possible. I mean really. **

**This story is going to longer than I expected it to be. And I want to finish it so that I can start a new one. A commenter already gave me a great idea for one! :)**

**see you all soon!...I hope O_O''*****


	63. Chapter 63: Closing Deep Wounds

**A/N: Hello there again everyone! How's it going? It has been so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, sooooooooooo long since I've been on here! I miss you guys and your reviews! Which by the way reminds me! Thanks do much for always reviewing! T_T (tears of happiness)**

**I know it's been a while but I'm back now with chapter 63! whoo hoo! I hope you all enjoy it! **

**Happy reading everyone! :)**

* * *

Ijuuin and Misaki drove back to the mangaka's apartment in silence. Misaki did not know what to say to the man sitting beside him. Misaki remembered that when Ijuuin finally reached the car from Usagi's condo, he seemed to walk right past him, not saying a word to him. The brunette was worried that Ijuuin may be upset with him. After all, Misaki was the sole reason that Ijuuin was forced to go to Usagi's apartment and pick him up, probably right after he got off work. Misaki felt as though he could kick himself. Only two weeks into living with Ijuuin and he was already causing problems for the man? He sunk lower into the passenger seat. He felt horrible. Ijuuin had been so nice to him already and done everything in his power to make Misaki feel comfortable. Picking him up after he had the fight with Usagi, comforting him when he needed it, taking him into his home with no questions asked. Those were all things that Ijuuin had done out of the goodness of his heart and Misaki couldn't help but feel as though he were taking advantage of Ijuuin.

Still, Misaki was very grateful that Ijuuin had showed up at the condo when he did. It was perfect timing on his part. A minute later, and Misaki's urge to go back to Usagi may have taken over all his senses and caused him to go against the hard decision that he had already knew was the right thing to do. The brunette's mind flew back to what had happened only minutes ago. Usagi had tried to force himself on him again. It was the third time that he had done that. But the funny thing is that Misaki's body responded to Usagi's every touch without him even having to tell it to. He could still feel the heated touch and kisses of the author all over his body and he had to wonder if somewhere in his heart he wanted it to happen. The occurrence made it all too clear to Misaki how things were now. Not only had his body responded to Usagi but also his heart. Misaki was forced to admit to himself again that he was still very much in love with Usagi. Love for the man seemed to be his only reason for breathing. The only thing that changed was that the love was no longer a source of warmth and comfort for him. Now his love for Usagi would only be a constant reminder of pain and hurt. The love had become too painful for Misaki to bear and he knew that he needed to let it go so that he could move on.

Since he had gotten his clothes from Usagi's condo that was it wasn't it? There was no reason for him to go anywhere near him anymore. He would definitely be able to start over again from scratch. Once he finally started working full time at Murakawa he would save up enough money and move out of Ijuuin's condo. Yeah, it would probably take about a year or so to do it, but Misaki was determined to get his life together and be happy. The brunette couldn't help but roll his eyes at himself. His relationship with Usagi had also started off with living in the same apartment. But there was no way that something like that would happen between him and Ijuuin right? Turning his head slightly, Misaki was able to steal a glance of Ijuuin from the corner of his eye. The mangaka had practically been his knight in shining armor today. Without him, he probably wouldn't have gotten the rest of his things back from Usagi. Speaking of which, Ijuuin had been up in the condo for a good couple of minutes and Misaki couldn't help but wonder what was taking him so long. Had they gotten into a fight? Misaki laughed lightly to himself at the thought. There was no way that that could have happened. Ijuuin was not the type to get into fights for no reason. He was…..what was the word he was looking for exactly? A pacifist perhaps? That seemed about right.

Misaki glanced in Ijuuin's direction again. Ijuuin really had gone out of his way to help him in his time of need. He promised himself that he would think of a way to repay the mangaka. A thank you would not even cut it close. The brunette took another look at Ijuuin, who seemed to be lost in deep thought. His face, it just looked so….pensive and not to mention serious. Misaki suddenly felt guilty. He really had been a bother to Ijuuin for the last couple of weeks. And Ijuuin actually seemed to be upset. Could Ijuuin be mad at him? Well he did have every right to be. Because of him, Ijuuin must have been put into some very uncomfortable situations. Misaki had promised Ijuuin that he would not cause any trouble for him and this was probably the fourth time that Ijuuin had come to his rescue. The mangaka must be tiring of his company already. For all he knew, Ijuuin could be thinking of a nice and gentle way to tell him that he would have to find somewhere else to stay. The though made Misaki sad for some reason. He didn't want to move out from Ijuuin's place. It was comfortable and he felt as though he could trust Ijuuin. But in reality, he just felt really happy when he knew that Ijuuin was next to him. He really grew used to being around Ijuuin over the last couple of days and the thought that he would probably have to leave soon made him uneasy. It was strange. He had only been living with Ijuuin for a little over a week and now he felt as though it would be weird if he were not around him. What was up with that? Ijuuin was just a really easy person to be around and get used to. Yes that must have been it.

Misaki had to cut his thoughts on that matter short when he mind wandered to the present situation he was in. The fact that Ijuuin could be angry at him made Misaki feel stiff and out of place. For the last ten minutes that they were driving, Misaki had desperately been thinking of a way to apologize to the mangaka. But he didn't know how. Ijuuin was clearly upset with him. His tight grip on the wheel and his shining eyes said everything. Misaki looked at Ijuuin again, this time turning his face farther in his direction. Though Misaki didn't want to, he knew that he had to say something to the mangaka. He was just afraid that Ijuuin would be angry when he spoke to him. Taking a deep breath, Misaki prepared to speak to Ijuuin.

"K-Kyou, I-", Misaki started but stopped short.

"You shouldn't have gone to his apartment alone", Ijuuin said, suddenly.

Misaki felt surprised. Ijuuin had never cut him off in mid-sentence before. He took this as a bad sign that proved that Ijuuin was angry at him.

"I-I know I shouldn't have but I….I thought I could just get my things and leave.", Misaki said.

Ijuuin shook his head.

"It was a really bad idea, Misaki", he said, not taking his eyes off the road.

"Sorry", Misaki said. It was the only thing that he could think of.

Ijuuin didn't seem to let the subject go so easily.

"You should have called", he said.

"I know….but you were at work so I didn't want to-"

"Bother me?", Ijuuin finished for him.

Misaki nodded weakly.

Ijuuin sighed.

"If you were planning on going over there alone, you could have told me since yesterday. I would have taken a day off of work", Ijuuin said.

"B-but work, The Kan-", Misaki started.

"Is nowhere as near as important at you", Ijuuin finished again.

Misaki couldn't help but blush. He felt like an idiot for doing so but his cheeks had already become tinted a light shade of pink.

"Sorry", Misaki said again.

Ijuuin took one hand off the wheel and reached over to Misaki and ruffled his hair.

"It's ok. I was just worried is all", Ijuuin said, his eyes seeming to shine with affection.

"Oh", Misaki said, still feeling that warmth of Ijuuin's hand on his head.

Ijuuin's face turned serious again.

"Did he hurt you?", Ijuuin asked, worriedly.

Misaki blinked.

Images of Usagi kissing and touching Misaki against his protests flew into his head. Misaki remembered that he could almost feel the desperation and need in the older man's touch. He just seemed so…desperate. This was the first time that Misaki had ever seen him act that way. It made him sad but he had made up his mind to say goodbye to him…and that's just what he did. He didn't even know why he was having the same conversation with himself again. It was over between him and Usagi. There was nothing else left to say. Usagi had done what he had done know full well the consequences that came with is actions. This was the right decision. It had to be.

Misaki blinked again, realizing that he had not yet answered Ijuuin's question.

"N-no he didn't hurt me. I mean….he tried to talk to me but….I-I didn't want to", Misaki said, sadly.

Ijuuin nodded.

"That's understandable", Ijuuin said.

Ijuuin made a right turn on the intersection and Misaki soon realized that they were now very close to home. Home…it seemed so strange to call a place home when it didn't include Usagi being there with him, but he still liked it. Making another turn, Ijuuin pulled up on to their street, where his own apartment complex came into view. Misaki felt relieved to see it. Ijuuin quickly parked the car on the side of the street and they both made their way towards the condo, Ijuuin carrying all of Misaki's bags, despite his protests. A couple of minutes later, they were standing in Ijuuin's condo entrance. Ijuuin placed the bags on the floor and stretched his arms over his head as he usually did when he was tired. Misaki had long ago noticed that he had the habit of stretching his arms and arching his back like a cat after a long day at work. Ijuuin turned to Misaki, his face suddenly concerned.

"Are you alright?", Ijuuin asked Misaki, worriedly.

The brunette flinched slightly at the question. The truth was that he had no idea how he was feeling. He was feeling so many things at the moment; he didn't know which emotion was the right one. Confused, hurt, scared, sad. They were all things that Misaki was feeling. In reality, however, Misaki was still feeling shaken after his encounter with Usagi. It had been an unpleasant surprise to see him at the condo when he was supposed to be at work or out somewhere and Misaki had not been ready to face him again. The brunette shut his eyes tight and clenched his fist over his chest, once again feeling the same aching sensation in his heart. It was still painful. Taking a shaky breath, Misaki answered in a small voice.

"I….I don't know", he said. And it was the honest truth. He was still hurt after all that had happened between him and Usagi and he really didn't know if he was alright, or even if he ever would be again.

Ijuuin looked at him, his eyes showing intense concern and seriousness. He looked as if he were thinking of something he would say that would make all of Misaki's pain go away. But he must not have been able to think of anything because he picked up the bags that he had just placed on the floor and turned looked towards the staircase.

"Well, a lot has happened today. You must be tired", Ijuuin said. It was an understatement for Misaki. He felt as if he could lie down and sleep for three days straight. Both his body and mind were tired. Every fiber in his body was screaming for him to shut down and rest. Misaki nodded in response.

"That's fine. Why don't you go upstairs to the bathroom and take a shower. I brought you some clothes to sleep in while you were gone. In the meantime, I'll go and put your things in you room", Ijuuin said.

Misaki nodded again. He was feeling too weak to answer vocally.

Walking past Ijuuin, Misaki trudged his way up the stairs and towards the bathroom, dragging his feet on the floor as he walked. Once in the bathroom he quickly undressed and hopped into the shower. And he wanted to a shower badly. Turning up the water as high as his skin would allow him to, he bathed himself in the hot water, letting the steam and heat make him feel more relaxed. Misaki wanted to wash all of his problems down the drain and just forget them. But he already knew that such a thing was impossible for him. He turned the water pressure up higher. It felt good to him. He put his head back and sleeked back his long chestnut colored hair. Looking down at the soap display that was in the shower, he noticed the same black container with Ijuuin's body wash that he had used before. Misaki didn't even need to think about his actions. Reaching over, he picked up the bottle and inhaled the pleasant scent, Ijuuin's scent.

The second the smell hit his nostrils, Misaki felt more at ease than he had in the last couple of weeks. He pours a generous amount in the palms of his hand and lathered it over his body. The sweet scent engulfed the shower and expanded throughout the bathroom in the hot steam. Misaki felt as if he were at some kind of spa on vacation and not in a bathroom taking the hottest shower that he had ever taken in his life. He didn't know why but he felt peaceful everytime he smelled this same fragrance. It made him feel as if he had nothing in life to worry about. And if he needed anything, it was a break from his life.

Misaki continued to bathe in Ijuuin's scent, allowing his body and mind to wander freely to their choosing. His used his fingers to massage the lather into his scalp, making him feel as if he could just let go of everything that was going on in the world. Before he knew it, nearly an hour had passed by. Misaki opened the shower door and let himself out. Steam blew out from the door like a large smoke puff, heating Misaki's back with its warmth before dispersing and leaving him with a pleasant coolness on his bare skin. Looking towards the towel rack, he saw a single towel through the steam. He walked towards it, not even caring if it was the one he had used last time. He suspected that Ijuuin purposely placed a new towel there for him to use, since Misaki himself hung Ijuuin's towel up inside his room. Not that he really cared anyway. He was just tired. That was the plain truth. He grabbed the towel and dried himself. When he was done, he looked towards the counter top. Misaki sighed and then slapped his forehead in annoyance at himself. He was so tired and fatigued that he had forgotten to bring any clothes in with him. How was he going to leave the bathroom in this condition? He thought for a moment before finally deciding that he would just have to go as is.

He was still nervous to go outside half naked, but he was also tired. His room was just down the hallway after all. He could make it there in a minute. Wrapping the towel tight around his waist, Misaki slowly opened the bathroom door and peered outside into the hallway. It was empty. Ijuuin must have gone back downstairs. He breathed a sigh of relief. Opening the door wider, he let himself out into the hallway and closed the door to the bathroom and quietly as he could. He turned his head and looked in both directions. Still no Ijuuin. Good. Holding the towel tight, Misaki quickly walked to his room and closed the door behind him. He smiled, happy that he had not been spotted by Ijuuin on his way over. He face reddened at the thought. Now that would have been embarrassing.

Slipping the towel off, he let it drop to the floor in a quiet plop and made his way over to the bed, where Ijuuin had placed his suitcases. Misaki scratched his head, trying to remember where he put his underwear. Opening both of the bags, he rummaged through them until his hands found the bottom. He pulled out a single pair of white briefs and held them in his hand. He frowned when he saw them, remembering that Usagi had bought them for him. He shrugged his shoulders. They would have to do for now. Misaki didn't feel like tumbling through his bags more in search of anymore underwear to pull on. He was too tired for that. He closed his bags and put them on the floor, under the bed. Once that was done, he bent over and slipped the underwear on. He smoothed the sheets on the bed and walked over to where the towel was on the floor, ready to pick it up. As he did so, the door opened and Ijuuin appeared in the doorway, holing clothes and a plate full of food.

Misaki felt his face redden in embarrassment. He tried to pick up the towel off the floor to cover himself, but it slipped from his fumbling hands.

"K-K-K-Kyou? Wh-wh-what are y-you doing here?", Misaki asked embarrassed beyond measure. His eyes looked as if they were going to pop out of their sockets.

Ijuuin put a hand to his mouth, trying to hide the amused smile that was forming on his lips.

"Oh…well I thought you might have been hungry so I wanted to bring you some food", Ijuuin said.

"Th-th-thank you! N-n-now please let me finish dressing!", Misaki said, flustered.

"Oh you were dressing? I hadn't noticed", Ijuuin said, playing innocent.

"Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!", Misaki said, holding his face between his hands embarrassment.

"There's no god here, Misaki. Only me", Ijuuin said, jokingly.

He stopped and thought for a moment.

"Nice tidy whities by the way", Ijuuin said, laughing.

"Arrgh! You're such a jerk!", Misaki said, throwing a pair in socks at him.

Ijuuin only laughed harder in response.

Still, even though he was laughing, he let his eyes wander over Misaki's body admiring how elegantly slim and smooth it was. His skin was perfect.

Ijuuin stopped laughing suddenly and stared harder at Misaki's body, not sure what he was seeing. The brunette took notice of Ijuuin's changed mood and looked at him, curious and worried.

"Kyou? What-?", Misaki began, but was cut off.

"Misaki…..", Ijuuin said, his eyes full of pain.

"What….what is that? What happened to you?", Ijuuin asked worried.

"H-huh?", Misaki asked, confused.

It then when he followed Ijuuin's gaze towards his own inner thighs. Misaki stared at his legs in shock at what he saw. Bruises and marks were all over the skin of his inner thighs. But how? He didn't remember getting hurt. Could he have fallen down and not have remembered? Where could they have-?

Misaki thought again and then it hit him. Memories of the fight he had with Usagi weeks earlier came into his mind. He remembered Usagi being jealous and upset over him spending time with Ijuuin, them yelling at each other, being angry. And he remembered when Usagi pulled him into the bedroom and….He didn't even want to remember it. Misaki did his best to block out the images of that night out of his head but somehow they made their way in anyway. He remembered the pain, the feeling of being torn to pieces by the one he loved most, he remembered telling him to stop but he wouldn't listen, everything. Misaki suddenly felt sick to his stomach, as though he could vomit at any second. He put a hand to his mouth and held in the noises that he could feel bubbling up from the back of his throat.

"Misaki?", Ijuuin asked, concerned. He put the clothes and food on a chair near the door and took a step closer.

"What happened to-", Ijuuin began to ask but was cut off by Misaki.

"N-no! I-I mean nothing happened", Misaki said but deep down he could feel that he was trying to convince himself.

"Misaki….", Ijuuin said, walking closer.

"I-I fell! I must have! I-I woke up with them like that! I…..", Misaki trailed off, suddenly feeling hot tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Misaki! Tell me…tell me what happened to you", Ijuuin implored.

"I-I told you n-nothing happened….", Misaki said, weakly. He turned his head away. He didn't want Ijuuin to see.

Ijuuin's eyes wandered from Misaki's scared face to his bruised thighs. A moment later, his eyes opened wider in realization.

"Oh my god….", Ijuuin said, quietly. It was nearly a whisper.

The brunette shook his head, not wanting to believe that Ijuuin had figured it out.

"Misaki…you….", Ijuuin trailed off, his eyes full of shock and pain.

Misaki put his hands to his ears and shook his head, not wanting to hear the words that were destined to come out of Ijuuin's mouth at that moment.

"N-no!", Misaki said.

Ijuuin walked closer, now he was only a few feet from where Misaki was. Misaki saw him coming in closer and reacted.

"P-please get out, Kyou! Did you hear me? G-get out!", Misaki yelled.

He felt horrible for telling Ijuuin to get out of a room that was in his apartment, but it was the only thing that he could say that may have made him leave. He didn't want Ijuuin to see him now. Misaki was remembering something he didn't want to and now he felt as if he could go crazy because of it. It was maddening. How could this be happening now of all times? It felt like forever since it had happened. He buried the memory along with his relationship with Usagi. Hadn't he already chosen to forget it? Why was this happening to him? And in front of Ijuuin no less. Why did he have to be here now? Why did he have to see? Don't look. Don't look. Don't look! Misaki fumbled for the towel on the floor, once again trying to cover himself. His shaking hands could not grip it in the right way. It fell to the floor again. Instead, he put the towel on over his chest, letting it cover his stomach and legs.

"N-no, Kyou…no. Don't look. Don't look over here…no….Don't look!", Misaki protested.

In what seemed like a second, Ijuuin was holding Misaki in his arms, embracing him with protective warmth that shot heat throughout his body. Tears continued to fall and Ijuuin kept him in his arms. Ijuuin pressed Misaki's face gently to his chest and ran his fingers through his hair.

"It's ok", Ijuuin said, gently.

"It's ok", he said, again.

"You're alright now, Misaki", Ijuuin said.

Misaki gripped the back of Ijuuin's shirt with his hand and pressed his face deeper into his chest. He took deep breaths, but not because he was crying to hard even though he was. He wanted to smell Ijuuin's scent, the scent that made him feel safe and calm.

They stayed like that for a couple of minutes before Misaki pulled away and wiped his eyes. He looked up at Ijuuin, his eyes sad and cloudy at the same time.

"I-I'm sorry, Kyou. I..I didn't mean to…yell at you", Misaki said.

Ijuuin smiled.

"It's fine", he said, understanding.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to surprise you", he said.

"N-no it's ok. I mean it is your apartment after all", Misaki said.

"You mean it's our apartment", Ijuuin said, smiling.

Misaki blushed.

"Y-yeah", he said.

"Why don't you get dressed? When you're done, you can eat", Ijuuin said, gesturing to the food he had placed on the chair.

"O-ok", Misaki said, and smiled.

Ijuuin left the room, closing the door behind him.

Misaki quickly got dressed in the clothes that Ijuuin had brought for him. Again the pants were much too big for him and the sleeves for the shirt went way past his arms, but he didn't care. He liked it. Wearing Ijuuin's clothes made him feel happy. He brought the shirt collar up to his face and inhaled the scent. Again the smell was a combination of sweetness and slight musk. Ijuuin's scent.

When he was done dressing, Misaki looked at the plate of food that Ijuuin had made for him. He couldn't help but narrow his eyes skeptically at it. Ijuuin couldn't really cook anything and if he died of food poisoning in this room then that would give Ijuuin Kyou, the famous mangaka a bad rep. Moving in closer to the food, he saw that it was a delicious looking huge roast beef sub. Misaki felt his stomach growl in hunger at the sight of it. It was only then that he realized how hungry he was. He hadn't eaten before he left to get the rest of his things and it was already late in the afternoon. Starving, he picked up the sandwich and was about to take a bit when he stopped himself. Placing the food back on the plate, Misaki made his way out of the bedroom and down the stairs where he could see Ijuuin sitting on the couch in front of the television flipping through the channels. Ijuuin looked up as Misaki approached.

"Hey', Ijuuin said.

"Hey", Misaki answered back.

He plopped down on the couch next to Ijuuin, closer than he usually would have.

Ijuuin continued to look at him, not saying anything.

Even though Misaki was desperately trying to not make any eye contact, he could still feel Ijuuin's concerned gaze over his entire body. Misaki wanted to say something but he didn't know what. He was at a loss for words in this moment. What was he going to say to Ijuuin that would make him feel less uncomfortable? Probable nothing. Instead of thinking about what had happened, Misaki did the first thing that came into his head. Picking up one half of the sandwich, he held it out to Ijuuin.

"Kyou, do you want some too?", Misaki asked, still not making any eye contact.

A moment later, Ijuuin took the sandwich half and took a bite of it. Misaki did the same. The two continued to eat for a couple of minutes in silence. Misaki knew that Ijuuin wanted to know what happened to him and somewhere deep down Misaki wanted to tell him. But what would happen after that? Ijuuin would probably just distance himself further from Misaki if anything. And he didn't want that. But at the same time, he knew that he would have to say something to Ijuuin, no he needed to say it to Ijuuin. He had kept his emotions on the event bottled up since it happened and acting like he was ok with it but since Ijuuin brought it up today, he felt as though he needed to tell someone to get it off his chest. And that someone had to be Ijuuin.

"W-we had a fight", Misaki said quietly, startling Ijuuin.

Ijuuin put what was left of his sandwich half back on the plate and turned to face Misaki.

"U-um…..when we had dinner after I finished helping you get some work done in your office. I….Akihiko…h-he saw us out together", Misaki said, quietly.

"He saw me kiss you", Ijuuin said.

Misaki flinched.

"Y-yeah", he said.

"I'm sorry", Ijuuin said.

"It-it's not your fault", Misaki said

He looked down into his lap and continued.

"A-after that he we went to his car and started to drive. He drove like a madman", Misaki noted.

Ijuuin listened.

"W-when we got home; h-he kept saying that I shouldn't be hanging around you so much at stuff like that. I told him that we were just friends b-but he just wouldn't let it go"

Misaki thought for a moment.

"H-he said that I was dismissing his feelings…..", he said.

He shook his head.

"B-but I wasn't…I-I just really wanted to hang out with you that day is all", Misaki said, looking up at Ijuuin.

Ijuuin nodded.

"I was going to go to my room and l-let him cool off….b-but….",

Misaki stopped. His breathing quickened and his chest began to feel tight.

Ijuuin placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Misaki….", he said worriedly.

The brunette continued.

"He-he just started kissing me….I….didn't know what to do….I mean usually…I-I don't have a problem when he does but that time…he-he was really angry at me…I could feel it"

Misaki took another deep breath before continuing.

"He-he pulled me into the bedroom and…..", Misaki trailed off, feeling hot tears in his eyes.

Ijuuin put his arm around Misaki's shoulders and pulled him in close.

"He wouldn't stop", Misaki said, holding his face in his hands.

Ijuuin held onto him tighter.

"I'm sorry", he said again.

"He was mad at me….really mad….I", Misaki trailed off.

"Misaki?", Ijuuin asked.

"I-I knew that he got jealous easily but I-I ignored his feelings", Misaki said.

"Misaki…."

"That's why…that's must have been why he….", Misaki trialed off again, crying.

Ijuuin put a hand under Misaki's chin and gently tilted his face up to meet his eyes so that he was looking straight into them. A warm feel spread throughout the brunette's body again.

"He won't hurt you again. I won't let him. I promise", Ijuuin said.

Ijuuin wrapped brought his other arm out and wrapped them both tightly around Misaki.

Misaki let himself lean into Ijuuin. He stretched his own arms out and wrapped them around Ijuuin, pulling him in closer. It was almost in instinct that he did that. Misaki closed his eyes and let himself relax into Ijuuin's embrace. The warmth from Ijuuin's body covered him once again. And it was the only thing that he could think about in that moment. It was the only thing that mattered. With Ijuuin holding him, he felt as though he would finally be able to move on. Ijuuin was like his strength. Ijuuin was warm. He was like the sun if anything. Misaki wrapped his arms tighter around Ijuuin's neck. He felt happy with Ijuuin. Yes he still wasn't exactly sure of what he was feeling but something was there. He just didn't know what. All he knew was that whenever Ijuuin hugged him, he felt happiness, he felt peace. It was alright for him to feel these things, wasn't it? Misaki decided to close his eyes and not think about it. Instead, he concentrated on the warmth coming from Ijuuin's body. It was the only thing that he could feel.

* * *

**A/N: Well that was it! Chapter 63! I hope you all enjoyed it! **

**Oh and I wanted to tell you all something pretty funny ^_^'' **

**I think I'll have more time to write now since I kinda...quit my job...over the phone...eh he...**

**Yes apparently I am one of those people who quits a job after a week...Ok no I'm lying after four days of working. LOL  
**

**But you can't blame me...I really hated it there...I mean even though the managers were nice to me...I just felt so out of place in the work environment that I had to quit plus I felt like I wasn't going to get anywhere with it sooooooo...end of story I guess. Oh but not this story!**

**I'll probably have the next chapter uploaded next week, so don't despair!**

**I will see you all in the next chapter!**

**Please rate and comment! ^0^**

*****ps: I am actually thinking about writing a book. A real one! I already have a couple of ideas for some! :3***  
**


	64. Chapter 64: Dispair

**A/N: Hello again everyone! How's it going? Great? That's great! **

**Anyway, here I am with chapter 64, like i promised. **

**I have to warn you all, this one may be kind of sad for some of you but bear with it alright? It really helps with the plot...I think. **

**I hope you guys like it! Enjoy readers! :)**

* * *

Usagi sat on the couch in silence, listening to the stillness that surrounded him. He didn't know how long he had been up exactly. It seemed as if day had turned into night and then into morning in too short of a time for him to remember the time frame. That is probably what had happened. It made no difference to the older man though. He was sure, however that he had not slept at all. No, instead he had been up staring off into far space, as if he were looking for something that he was never going to find. His body felt painful and heavy against the normally comfortable couch cushions and he was fatigued and tired, so tired. Yet he could not bring himself to close his eyes or move from the spot where he was. It was if he were in some sort of a trace that he could not come out of. His ears felt painful as he listened to the dead silence of his large condo that surrounded him. It was quiet, so quiet. The stillness and silence of everything rang in his ears, teasing him. Telling him that this stillness, the dead silence was his new reality. It felt as if death was slowly creeping its way into his soul and he felt as if he could welcome it.

Death meant that there would be no more pain. He would not have to suffer being alone, not again. And most of all he wouldn't have to live without Misaki beside him. He would not have to go through living with the fact that he had been the one to push Misaki away, make him cry, betray him. For an instant, an image of soft chest nut brown hair and vivid green eye wide with innocence and love flashed in his mind. It was the image of the one he loved most. Usagi continued to stare at nothing, not seeing anything. And the same question that he had asked himself a thousand times crossed him mind again. How could he? It was a question that he knew that answer to, yet he kept asking it.

In the far distance, a sound echoed. What was it? A bell maybe? That could be it yes. It sounded so far away. The ball rang again. Usagi barely heard it. In fact, he couldn't really hear anything. That was fine though. He didn't need to hear anything. He didn't need to see anything. And he certainly didn't need to feel anything. It was fine, it was fine. Instead of feeling, it would be much better to be empty. Of everything. He was already a shell of a man anyway.

The sound rang again, this time more frequently. Usagi could then hear the sound of hallow thuds coming from somewhere. But Usagi didn't hear it this time. He didn't even bother to turn his head the slightest to see if there was something of interest to look at. His body felt stiff and heavy beneath him. He couldn't move. He didn't want to. What was the point of moving anyway? He could just stay here, where he was. Yes that was it. He wouldn't go anywhere. He didn't need to. He could just sit here, waste away into nothing. Oh if only he could. That would be such a relief. He would be free of his pain, of everything. He could just disappear into the air, as if he had never existed. What a blessing that would be! Would it even matter if he was gone? Probably not. No one would care. Not his family, not his job, and certainly not Misaki. There was nothing left for him, nothing. So why? Why was he still here? Why was he taking in air into his lungs, breathing? Why was he alive?

He slowed his breath, taking in less and less as the minuets passed by. And then he stopped. He stopped taking in breath, life. He closed his mouth and shut his lips. A couple of moments went by, or were they minutes? He couldn't tell. His lungs screamed for air, thumping against his rib cage. He could feel them shriveling into nothing, dying. The pulses of them were becoming slower, weaker. He saw colorful spots dancing in front of his eyes. A moment later, everything seemed to become bright before him. There was so much light. And then it faded, transforming into darkness. It surrounded him, chilling his body, his bones. But he kept going, forcing the life out of him. He didn't move, he was still. He just sat there, the life leaving him. More spots danced in front of his opened eyes, black spots this time. His head suddenly felt hallow, empty. And his ears began to ring. Sharp and high pitched. That's how he would describe it. Like a heart monitor machine that has gone flat. The sound of someone who had died. More black spots and then dizziness. His eye lids grew heavier. Usagi was about to close his eyes…forever.

Suddenly there was a loud thud from somewhere. But he didn't know where it came from. He barely knew where he was now. Where was he? All he knew was that it was dark and cold. But to him, it felt welcoming. Usagi slowly closed his eyes and felt the darkness close in.

Just as he did so, there was a horrible sound from nearby. A screeching almost…or was it a yell? He wasn't too sure. On his bare shoulder, he felt a hand grip his skin tightly. That was then followed by the feeling of movement. Was someone shaking him? He couldn't be moving on his own. Not when his body felt so heavy, like lead almost. But who was touching him? Who was trying to bring him back from the place where he so badly wanted to go? He didn't want to, he didn't want to go back. Not to the loneliness and constant feelings of pain. He'd had enough. Couldn't they just let him be? Usagi wanted to tell whoever it was to leave him alone, to let him go into the protection of the comforting of the cold darkness but his mouth was frozen, stiff as the rest of him was. He couldn't move or speak.

"….sen….", he heard a voice call. The voice like everything sounded and felt so far away. Even the hand that he knew was on his shoulder felt like nothing.

"….sensei….", the voice called. For a moment Usagi was confused. Sensei? Who was that? A teacher? Why would a teacher be in the same place as he? Surely they were not planning on accompanying him that that place, the place where he was going, where he wanted to go.

"…..sensei….", the person said again. It had to be a person. But who were they calling? Could…could it be that they were calling to him? Was he this sensei person? Who was he? He didn't know who he was. The person in front of him must have mistaken him for someone else .He was no one, nothing. Usagi wanted to tell the person to go away now, leave him but again his couldn't move his mouth, couldn't feel it, couldn't feel anything. Instead he closed his eyes further, and let his head go limp between his shoulders. He felt the darkness approaching again and he urged it to make haste and save him from the pain. Yes hurry, hurry and take him into the abyss where he wouldn't feel anything.

Suddenly, he felt something. A numb and hallow pressure on somewhere on his body. His cheek maybe? It must have been. He felt his head jerk to the side from the force. His stiff and rigid neck actually moved. But the touch….it was fading again like everything else was….it just felt so far way. Another sensation on his cheek, harder this time. Usagi felt his eye lids flutter and then close again. Something roughly grabbed his chin, pinching the skin. And then came another sensation on his skin. Sharp and painful. It stung. Usagi wanted to see who was causing him to feel but now that he wanted to open his eyes, he found that he couldn't lift them. More black spots danced before his closed eyes. He felt his body shudder, shiver on its own will. And then he was still. He couldn't move again.

Another pain on his cheek. And then another. The pain was sharp and hot. Usagi felt his fingers twitch and then his toes. Another sensation, this time on his chest, steadily pushing and slapping it with force. Then there was another pain, on his cheek again. Hitting, someone was hitting his cheek. There was a force on his leg this time, hitting and applying more pressure to it. Usagi felt the feeling on his legs and thighs return. He could feel the hot blood boiling in their circulation. The fingers on his other hand twitched, the feeling in his arms returning now as well. The person his chest again, harder this time, near his heart and lungs. All of a sudden he could feel his lungs stinging, feeling hot and clogged. He couldn't breathe. He wanted to move but found that he wasn't quite there yet. More pressure on his chest and stomach. The person was hitting his chest deliberately, trying to make him live. The person hit his cheek again…hard. His eyes flew open and then then closed again. Usagi felt his body convulse in a jerk like motion and then still again. With a final blow, a hard and forceful blow was delivered to his chest. His eyes flew open. The black spots disappeared into nothing, fading. He sank into the couch, his body feeling limp.

He felt someone grab him behind the neck, cradling his head in their hands. Then more movement, his own body. Someone was still shaking him. Usagi felt the hands gripping his shoulder, nails digging into his skin. Even though he was being shaken, he could still feel himself slipping, going back to the place where he wanted to go. He felt his heart beat slow and his body turn to ice. And then he felt it. A slap. Sharp and icy hot. It stung as if it were cold fire. Painful. Pain. It was a feeling that only the living knew. Another hard blow on the chest. He felt his heart start again, beating hard and strong, so full of life. Life…he was alive. And then his body's instincts kicked in. In a second Usagi was wheezing, gasping for air, desperately taking the life into his lungs that he had tried so hard to be rid of.

His hand gripped his chest, feeling the hard and fast rhythm of his heart underneath his skin. It was beating so quickly that Usagi feared it may jump out of his chest. All feeling returned to his arms and legs. Against his hand, his skin was hot and sweaty, hot blood pumping through his veins. His eyes darted from side to side, looking but not really seeing. Everything around him was hazy. He couldn't really see anything. The hands that had brought him back from the other side still gripped his shoulder, shaking him, not as hard but still enough to make him not pass out. On his cheek, he felt light slaps, making sure his eyes would not close again.

He began to wonder who was standing in front of him. Who had brought him back? Usagi wanted to know this but his eyes weren't seeing. In his ears, there was no longer a ringing silence, but now it had been replaced with a far off sound. It sounded like a voice. Whoever was in front of him was talking. But who were they talking to? Again, Usagi felt confused. He didn't understand. Who was this person talking to? Why were they here? Questions continued to race through Usagi's mind. He head felt numb, painful. He closed his eyes again, wanting the dark cold to return, but the unidentified individual gave him a hard, forceful slap across the cheek, making his eyes fly open. Whoever it was didn't want him to go back to that place. They made that clear enough. Usagi looked straight ahead, wincing his eyes slightly. Sill he could not identify this person. As his vision slowly cleared, a figure came into view, a vague one. It was too fuzzy. He could see the figure of a person definitely but not the face.

He studied the person more, trying to figure out who it was. It was a slim frame and much shorter than he was. He was sure of that. The person kept shaking him, gently now, trying to keep him awake even though all he wanted to do was sleep forever. Who was this exactly? Usagi rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand and looked again. And he nearly gasped. Everything behind the person seemed as if it were a bright light, illuminating the person. Usagi looked again and he could have sworn that it was Misaki standing in front of him smiling gently, his soft brown hair gleaming in the light.

But that's when he was brought back to the reality of things. The reason why he was feeling as if he were nothing. Misaki had left him after being cheated on. There was no way he would be smiling at the author like he used to. His vision cleared more and Usagi was able to make out light brown hair and a set of dark gray eyes that showed both concern and determination. It was not Misaki. Usagi then realized that it was a woman that was in front of him.

"…..sensei…..", the same voice earlier called out. To him? That must be it.

"…...sensei!...", the person called again, louder this time shaking him. Who was this sensei person?

His eyes closed for a second, the need to be done with life trying to take him over again. And that's when he felt a sharp slap go across his face. His eyes opened again. Aikawa's worried face stared back at him.

"Usami-sensei!"., she said, frantically.

"Stay with me!", she said again.

It took Usagi a while to realize that she was the one calling him this entire time. Usagi's eye lids fluttered a few times but he did not close them this time. His cheek hurt like hell already. Blinking a few times, Usagi slowly felt himself return to reality, a painful but real one.

Aikawa, who had been cradling his head between her hands, gently laid his head back against the couch. She put two fingers to his neck, checking his pulse and monitoring his breathing for a few moments before stepping back, satisfied with his basic vital signs. Slowly, she sat herself down on the couch beside him, not making too much movement. Usagi let out a light breath, inhaling and exhaling, though it didn't feel good for him to still be breathing.

Aikawa slowly stood up and stepped in front of him, her face showing concern and still questioning at the same time.

Usagi groggily sat up, his knuckles digging into the couch cushions. He winced as he did so. He quickly sat up, placing his hands in front of him. He was still breathing hard and his head was painful but he could see and hear. His breathing also seemed to have returned to normal. Aikawa seemed to be relieved for that. But her face still held questions that had yet to be answered. Her instincts told her that something was not right in this situation. She knew that Usagi was a healthy man who stayed in great shape despite his profession. It was nowhere normal for him to just stop breathing for no apparent reason. It sure as hell wasn't his smoking habits. She knew that much. She crossed her arms and spoke to him, her eyes gentle and concerned yet demanding the truth.

"Usami-sensei….", she said in a low voice.

"What happened?", it was nearly a whisper now.

Usagi did not answer. He had gone silent again.

"Usami-sensei!", Aikawa said, louder, not scolding but worried. She starred at him hard.

Again he was silent. What was he going to say anyway? It was hard enough to face the reality of his only love leaving him but to actually voice it would kill him. Usagi felt his body harden at the thought of his life ending. Not because he was scared of dying but because he would die knowing that Misaki had left him.

Aikawa realized that she was going to get nowhere by asking the author any questions at this moment, so she resolved to looking for them on her own. Her eyes scanned the living room for answers. And that's finally when she noticed the surroundings for the first time since she had walked in the door. When she came in, she was in too much of frenzy, focusing all of her attentions on saving Usagi's life, but now that she was taking everything in, she saw that the living room was a complete mess, as if it had been torn apart. Tables and chairs had been thrown across the room, the drapes had been savagely ripped from the windows, being torn and abused, the television had been thrown off from its stand, laying on the carpet, maybe broken, book shelves and armoires had been thrown down, their contents spilled messily on the floor, art ripped from the walls, ornaments thrown to the floor, shattered, and many other things as well. In truth, to Aikawa it looked as if a tornado had made its way through the living room.

Out of curiosity, she then walked to the kitchen area and examined it as well. The kitchen was bad as the living room, if not worse. From what she could tell ever single dish and glass had been taken out and shattered against either the wall or the floor. This was obviously not an accident. Someone had wanted to break everything, most likely out of anger. No there was no question about that. Whoever did then, and she knew who it was, had been angry. Aikawa quickly made her way back to the living room where Usagi was He had not moved an inch from where she had left him.

Walking closer to him, she took a better look at Usagi. He was still. His eyes were looking off into space, but they weren't really looking at anything were they? No there was nothing in his eyes when Aikawa looked into them. There was no emotion in them. They were….empty, hallow. Usagi was some kind of shell that had lost all sense of himself and who he was. Aikawa stared at him intently, feeling her own heart ache in pain and loss. What had happened? She asked the same question to Usagi, but he had not answered her, so she asked herself but still came up with no answer.

The only thing that Aikawa knew was that this was something serious. Usagi was not the kind of weak person who would get upset over nothing. He was always very much in control of his emotions and his actions. For something to make him break out like this must have been very serious, traumatic even. With slight caution, she made her way towards the couch where Usagi was seated. His hands were loosely clasped in his lap and his eyes remained dead of all emotions.

"Usami-sensei….", Aikawa said, gently placing a hand on Usagi's clammy shoulder.

She tightened her grip slightly.

"Tell me what's wrong", she said, concerned.

Usagi was looking at her in the eyes, but Aikawa knew that he was seeing nothing.

Aikawa studied him again. Everything about the author said that he was tired and upset. His skin felt hot and wet beneath her hand but she ignored it. Aikawa could tell that it had been days since he had slept. Running her eyes over the form of his body, she studied him, looking for an explanation, desperately wanting to help in any way that she could. Her eyes fell to his hands that were between his legs. She focused on them and she saw something, a flash of red. She instantly knew it was blood. In an instant, her own hand swooped down and snatched Usagi's hand on her own. He didn't even put up a fight. He let his hand and arm go limp in her hand.

Aikawa was horrified at what she saw. All across Usagi's entire hand, the palm and the back were deep cuts and gashes, some of which were still bleeding profusely. She winced when she saw the wounds; they were painful to look at. Still holding Usagi's cut hand, her own began to shake and she could feel her own eyes watering in sadness for the man. Despite how much she yelled at him and threatened him, she cared for Usagi, probably more than she should. He was like a part of her family and she would hate for something to happen to him.

"Usami-sensei! You need to tell me what's going on here!", she said to the author.

Still, Usagi only stared into nothing as she spoke. It was as if he couldn't even hear her. And Aikawa feared that it was the case. Standing there, Aikawa took a moment to think. She strained her brain, desperately trying to think of the reason for the sudden change in Usagi. She continued to cup his hand between her own and he continued to stare into nothing.

Suddenly looking at him made her feel frustrated and upset. This was the first time that she had seen the author in such a state. He was never like this. And now here she was, standing next to him, holding onto him, but not able to help him in any way. Even snapping him out of this trance like state would be enough for her. She felt the blood strongly pulsing through his veins now, yet he looked dead, he wasn't feeling anything. Her frustration grew. She gripped his hand tighter and tighter wanting to cause him pain, just to make him feel something, anything and pulled him violently toward her. Usagi didn't react to the physical pain that she knew she was causing him. Instead he just sat there, letting her pull and push him as she wanted. It was as if all his strength of will had just vanished leaving behind a shell.

"Usami-sensei! What_ happened_?, Aikawa asked again.

Still nothing, no response.

Aikawa felt her frustration grow. She gripped his hand tighter, digger her nails into the cuts, even though she knew she shouldn't.

Still nothing from him.

Her grip became less tight and her eyes softened turning, sympathetic, concerned.

"Usami-sensei…", she said, in a softer voice.

"You need to pull yourself together….what happened?...you can tell me…..I know I'm not Misaki but….", she trailed off. In her hand, she felt Usagi's hand twitch slightly, wanting to pull away. She held onto it though.

And then it dawned on her.

Misaki…..

She should have thought of it before but she never would have thought that Misaki and Usagi's fight was so serious that it made Usagi become so….violent, vulnerable. She looked down at Usagi, her eyes coming into realization.

She suddenly remembered the way Usagi had acted when they were at the restaurant with Masayoshi, how when she has left him, his eyes were clouded with anger and disdain. Aikawa knew that he and Misaki had not been able to patch things up like they usually did and Usagi was suffering greatly because of it. She looked down at Usagi and spoke.

"Misaki….", she said.

"You had another fight with Misaki….", Aikawa said.

In her hand, Usagi tried to pull away. Again she held onto it. Her grip loosened, finally getting a reaction from the author.

In truth, she didn't know what happened exactly, but it must have been serious. She knew that much.

"What happened? You guys didn't make up?", Aikawa inquired. Usagi tried to pull his hand away again, this time with more force than he had before. Again, she gripped it.

She let out a light sigh. She knew how much Usagi loved Misaki, probably more than she did. Suddenly she was worried for the small brunette. She looked at Usagi again, still holding his hand. If Usagi was hurting this way, then Misaki must be in twice as much pain. An urge to go find him suddenly came over her, but she suppressed it. She had to stay with Usagi, make sure that he was alright first. Then she would go and look for Misaki.

"Usami-sensei…it'll be ok…it will", she told him.

Usagi shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

Aikawa looked around briefly.

"Usami-sensei…where it Misaki now?", she asked.

There was no response from the author. He turned his face down to look at the floor, not wanting to meet her eyes or face his new reality. Aikawa took it as him saying that he didn't want to speak about Misaki. But she knew she had to. She had to get a rise out of Usagi somehow, to snap him out of whatever he was in. She didn't want to cause him any more pain by doing so but she knew she had to. So she went on.

"Is he alright?", she asked softly.

Usagi lowered his head further in response.

"Usami-sensei…let's go…me and you….let's go and find Misaki", Aikawa said, softly.

There was no response from the author so she continued.

"I'll help you talk to him….you guys can work this out…both of you love each other so much", she said, his hand still in hers.

It was at that point that Usagi felt something inside of him break.

Looking down further, gritting his teeth, he saw a small bag near Aikawa's foot with colorful tissue paper protruding from the inside of it. Usagi automatically knew it was the gift Aikawa had bought for him and Misaki's anniversary. All of the memories from that night came rushing back to him like black smoke. And it made him sick to his stomach and hot with anger all at once. In one swift movement, he violently pulled his hand from Aikawa's grasp and slowly stood. She was surprised but did not say anything. She knew that something was off with the author.

"Usami-sensei?", she asked worriedly.

Without saying anything, Usagi picked up the bag and handed it to Aikawa. She looked at him, surprised.

"Oh no, Usami-sensei that's-"

"I won't be needing it", Usagi said, suddenly, cutting her off.

"What? Usami-sensei, you-"

"….back….", Usagi said in low voice. Aikawa was barely able to make his words that were hidden by a voice that she now realized was cracking in sadness.

"Usami-sensei? What?", Aikawa asked, confused. She wasn't sure that she heard right.

"Misaki….he…he's not coming back", Usagi said, in a low and painful voice.

Aikawa's expression was a mixture of sympathy and confusion. She wanted to tell him that everything would be fine, that they were going to make up. She wanted to tell him, plead with him to come and help her find Misaki so they could talk, work out their problems. But the words never came. When Usagi lifted his face, tears streaming down his cheeks, she found it hard to speak.

He didn't even try to wipe away the tears the fell. He knew that more would just take their place. There would always be more. He bit his lip and let the tears fall freely, not even caring that Aikawa, his scolding editor was standing there watching him. Misaki had been the only one that he had let see him cry, he felt comfortable when Misaki held in his arms that night. But it didn't matter whether or not he was ok with crying in front of someone else. He couldn't stop. He let the tears come because he was much too tired to hold them back.

From the corner of his eye, he saw Aikawa reach out to him, her face concerned and sad. He took a step back, swatting her hand away. She continued to look at him though, a pained look in her eyes, as if it hurt her to see him like this. But what did she know about being in pain? Did she know how it felt to hurt the one you loved most in the world? To look at their crying faces knowing that you were the one to cause them that pain? To feel the aching pain in your own chest when you knew it was your fault they had been hurt so badly? Or to know that you were the one to push them away, that you were never, hold them, kiss them, or touch them? Did she know? She couldn't have. No one could understand.

Suddenly Usagi felt anger surge through his body. Why was Aikawa here? Why was she looking at him, talking to him? It was she who pulled him from the dark and cold where he would have found peace cloaking himself in its shadows. It was her who had brought him back to reality, to a life without Misaki with him. She was no friend of his. This whole situation with Misaki, it was her fault. It must have been.

He couldn't stop the thoughts from entering his mind. He felt ugly inside and out. But he kept going, kept blaming someone else for his problems, despite the fact that he was well aware that everything was his own fault. Had he gone mad? It sure felt like it. But the reality of everything to him was that he was only a selfish coward who sought to place the blame on someone else. His mind felt so cloudy yet it was still full of accusations that he could place on other people. If Aikawa had tried harder to stop him from staying with Masayoshi, if Isaka had never pressured him to go to the meeting, if the president never hired Masayoshi to begin with. All of them, everything was just an excuse so that he could ease the dark guilt that plagued his own soul.

Before he knew what was happening, he heard voices, his own. It took him a while to realize that he was yelling at Aikawa.

"Why?...why are you here?", Usagi growled.

"What?", Aikawa asked, shocked.

"Get out….get out!", he said.

But Aikawa did not move. Instead she inched closer to the author, her hands held out, as if welcoming him into her arms.

Usagi took a step back, shaking his head, crying out of frustration and anger….at himself. He wanted so badly to blame someone else, take his anger out on them, yell at them, but he couldn't, not really, not when he knew that he had no one else to blame but himself.

"Why are you here?...why are you still here?", he asked.

Aikawa's face turned to understanding sympathy. She stepped in closer.

Suddenly, Usagi was overcome by an intense yearning for the darkness that Aikawa had pulled him out of. He wanted it. The cold, the feeling of numbness, the dark. More tears welled in his eyes, but he held them in. But his frustration and loathing towards himself knew no bounds.

"If only….if only….", Usagi said, his voice low and hurt.

He turned his head slightly to Aikawa.

"Why….why did you come…..if only…if only you had stayed away….I….I….", he trailed off, feeling weak and tired.

_I could have died in peace….._

The thought echoed in his mind, causing him to shudder.

Usagi felt all the strength from his body disperse into nothing. He was both physically and emotionally drained. Another moment and he was crumpled on the floor, holding his head between his hands. He let the rest of the tears fall, and they ran down his face.

Then he felt, Aikawa's body pressing against his own. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled his face into her chest, letting him cry on it. His shoulders convulsed up and down and he cried. Not enough, it wasn't enough. Even though Aikawa was next to him, holding him, inside, he felt hallow and more alone than he had ever felt in his life. He remembered the time when he had told Misaki that he would be nothing without him. But now it seemed to become a reality. Nothing was what he said he would be. And maybe that's what he was now.

* * *

**A/N: Well that was sad! Even my eyes were tearing up as I wrote T_T**

**Good thing Aikawa was there to save the day! She doesn't get paid enough! I mean did you all read that? She gave him life! She smacked the hell out of him gave him life! O_O''  
**

**But oh well, I bet that somewhere deep down, she was happy to be given a chance to beat the crap out of Usagi. LOL**

**Though I'm not sure if you could resuscitate someone whose stopped breathing that way :O**

**Now I didn't mean for this to be just a blatant show of Usagi trying to uh...kill himself but that's how it turned out. I actually got the idea from a commenter. I don't want to put the name of them because I may use their full scenario in the future for this story. **

**I'm actually pretty proud of this chapter though. But that's just me. I try not to get a big head :)**

**Anyway, see you all in the next chapter! **

**Please rate and comment! ^0^**


	65. Chapter 65: Truth Revealed

**A/N: Hello again everyone! How are you all doing? I haven't been on here for like a month and it was killing me! O_O**

**Seriously do you all know how much Ii missed you guys?! I was dying! O_O**

**But I'm back now with a new chapter of my story! Whoo hoo! I hope you all are still interested in it! :)**

**I think I got a little lazy for a while! And I'm still lazy but I'm gonna keep uploading! **

**So here it is chapter 65! Please enjoy!**

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Usagi lay in bed staring up at the high walls of the ceiling above him. He couldn't recall how he had gotten there or when he had fallen asleep in the first place. But he did have some blurring memory of Aikawa helping him into his room and then trying to make him eat. Usagi could tell that she was worried for him, but he didn't really care. In face he didn't really care about anything. The fact that he wouldn't eat didn't make things any better either. He had a dim recap of Aikawa making him some kind of warm drink and feeding him it. He became sleepy afterwards and here he was now. In bed. Alone.

Usagi strained his ears and listened to the silence in the air. Everything was still and quiet, just as he had expected it would be. Turning his head, he glanced at the clock on the wall. It was a little past four in the afternoon. Had he really slept that long? He couldn't tell. Every inch and crevice of his body was stiff and tired. He wanted to go back to sleep. He didn't feel like doing anything. Usagi turned his head away from the clock and closed his eyes. But he didn't go to sleep. He just wanted to see the darkness, for everything to go away.

* * *

Downstairs, Aikawa paced nervously in the living room. Walking up and down across the carpet for so long, she felt as if she may walk a hole to the floor below them. But she couldn't stop, not now. Not when she had no idea what to do with the situation that was placed in front of her. Aikawa hugged herself tight and dug her nails into her arms, trying to stop the internal shake that trembled from within her. Worried for Usagi, she had spent the night in Misaki's room, every now and then taking a peek into the author's room and seeing to it that he was alright. After finding him practically dying on his couch, she had to be careful.

Remembering the sight was all too painful for her to take. When she saw him that day, everything about him screamed that he was tired, tired of everything. Looking into his eyes was like looking into an empty shell of a person who had lost everything important to him. She knew that he hadn't slept or even ate in days. Compared the award winning author staying up a week straight writing and without eating, this was maybe ten times as worse.

She grew more worried by the minute. How long had Usagi been like that? When was the last time he ate something? When was the last time he slept? A dark thought crossed her mind, causing her to stiffen. What would have happened if she hadn't found him when she had? Shaking her head, Aikawa rubbed her arms, trying to be free of the chill. She didn't want to think about it.

She was at a loss of what her next move was going to be. She must have dialed Misaki's number a hundred times. And everytime she did, all she got was the recording. She was worried. About both of them.

Aikawa took a couple of strands of her hair that was tucked behind her ear and put them in her mouth. It was a bad habit that she'd had since she was a child, one that she thought she had broken. The saying that old habits die hard must really be true. She looked up at the stairs, her eyes traveling to the left where Usagi's room was. He had slept for thirty hours, which is what she had wanted. She didn't want to give him medication but it was the only way that she could think of to make him sleep. They were very strong sleeping pills that she had gotten from the hospital. Aikawa made sure to tuck them away safely in her car for a reason she didn't want to think about.

Her mind flew back to the present, the now. She was still worried. Worried about everything that was going on with Usagi. Once again, Aikawa strained her mind to think of what had happened between Usagi and Misaki, the factor that had caused such damage to their loving relationship with one another. Again she came up empty. Her mind must have been too worried to function properly. Aikawa began her nervous pacing again. The only thing she knew for sure was that the two had a serious fight and Misaki left. But then again, she knew emerald eyed young man. Misaki was reasonable and kind. He would never just leave for no apparent reason. He would never leave Usagi, not when he loved him so much. Something was wrong, off. It was more than a fight that had happened.

When she thought about it again, she drew no more conclusions than that. Tilting her head up, she pushed the lower part of her palms to her eyes and let out an exasperated sigh. Aikawa couldn't help but remember the disappointment and outrage in Murakawa's board members' faces when she told them all that Usagi would not be going to the meeting. It was true that work always came first with her, but with Usagi and Misaki, she had to take a step back. She felt that it was more than just love between the two. It was….everything. That is the exact reason why she felt no hesitation or fear when she canceled all of Usagi's meetings for the next three weeks. It was out of character for her but she knew she had to.

But what about now? What was she supposed to do? Aikawa had already decided that she would temporarily move in with Usagi (even though she hated the idea) until she could get in touch with Misaki and have him talk with Usagi. But she had to do something now. She needed to talk to someone, someone who understood Usagi as well as she did. Someone who could help him. But other than her and Misaki, she couldn't think of anyone who was close to the author.

She thought about calling someone from his family, but quickly dismissed the idea in a second. Remembering all the things that Misaki had told her about Usagi's relationship with his family, she knew that it was a bad idea. She looked at her phone that lay on the coffee table. She needed to call someone, but who? Not anyone related to him, that's for sure. A certain someone came to her mind, actually it was the first choice that she had thought of but she was reluctant as to whether or not it was good idea. Walking over to the table she picked up the phone and scrolled down to Isaka's call information. He was the only one she could think of. She should have called him in the first place. Pressing a button, she put the phone to her ear and listened to it ring. The phone rang four times before she got an answer.

"_Hello?"_, answered a too professional and too smooth voice.

"Isaka-san, this is Aikawa. I'm glad you picked up", Aikawa said, feeling relieved.

"_Ah, Aikawa it's just you"_, Isaka said.

Usually Aikawa would have chewed him out for it and leave him in pieces with her words for his attitude, but not this time. Holding in her annoyance, she spoke.

"Isaka-san, we have a problem", Aikawa said.

"_Oh do we? Would this problem have something to do with the reason why you canceled all of Akihiko's appointments?_"_, _Isaka, asked.

"As a matter of a fact it does", Aikawa snapped.

"_Well then let's hear it"_, Isaka, said, snidely.

"There's something wrong with Usami-sensei", Aikawa said.

Over the other end of the phone, she heard Isaka sigh heavily.

"_Of course there is. When is there isn't?"_, he said, annoyed.

Aikawa shook her head.

"No I'm serious. He's not himself today; he hasn't been for the last couple of days. There is something wrong with him", Aikawa said.

"_What are you talking about"_, Isaka asked.

"Yesterday, I found him passed out on the couch", Aikawa said, nervously.

"_Aikawa-san….where have you been for the last ten years? Akihiko passes out on sidewalks for no reason. It's usual."_, Isaka said. Aikawa could tell that he was not getting the point yet.

"Isaka-san I mean it. This is more serious than that. He hasn't eaten or slept in days. He lost weight, a lot of it.", Aikawa said.

"_So buy him a happy meal and some coffee"_, Isaka said, sternly and jokingly at the same time.

"Isaka-san!", Aikawa yelled at him.

"_Relax. Jeez. I was only joking"_, he said, apologetically.

Aikawa spoke again, quieting her voice.

"There's something going on", she said, more seriously.

There was a pause on the other end of the phone before Isaka spoke again.

"_Alright, so something's up. He could be sick or something"_, Isaka said.

"No there's more to it. Isaka-san, he could have died. I mean really died", Aikawa said, her voice quivering.

There was another pause over the phone.

"_Why is this happening anyway?"_, Isaka asked.

"_I mean why is he not sleeping or eating. Chibi –tan is usually all over it in that departme__nt. He's usually the one babying Akihiko so we don't have to"_, Isaka said.

"Isaka-san, that's just it. That's what I've been trying to tell you. Misaki….he gone…he left.", Aikawa said.

"_What?"_, Isaka said. Aikawa could hear the surprise in his voice.

"I don't know what happened but I think that had a fight….a bad one", Aikawa said.

"_So chibi-tan left him…"_, Isaka trailed off.

He was about to say something more when he heard the sound of Aikawa's voice.

"It's bad, Isaka-san….I-I don't know what to do", she said.

She heard Isaka sigh again before answering.

"_Give me ten minutes"_, he said and hung up.

Aikawa put her phone back on the table able and walked towards the stairs, once again staring up in the direction to Usagi's room. Her legs itched to walk up the stairs and see if Usagi was alright, to see if he was still breathing, but she restrained herself. She was going to wait until he was ready to talk, until he was ready to tell her the feelings that he had been holding inside himself that have been destroying him from the inside.

* * *

Aikawa paced and walked around the condo for an agonizing fifteen minutes, chewing and biting nervously on strands of her hair until she heard a series of impatient knocks coming from the door at the entrance way. She half sprinted to the door, even though she was only a few feet away so that she could answer it. She opened the door to find Isaka standing outside looking both annoyed and serious. But even if he looked like that, Aikawa knew that Isaka truly was a friend to Usagi even though he didn't act like it most of the time and that is exactly way she called him. She was relieved to see him but instead of letting him know that, she just smiled sadly and let him inside and closed the door quietly behind them.

"What took you so long?", Aikawa asked, putting a hand to her forehead.

Isaka rolled his eyes.

"I'm here aren't I?", Isaka retorted to her.

"And besides, what's five minutes anyway?", Isaka said.

Aikawa only sighed and rubbed her temple. If only he knew how she felt in those five extra minutes. They were torture for her.

She took a deep breath and led Isaka to the living room and did a recap of the situation that both of them were now facing. The whole time Isaka's face and eyes were solemn as he listed intently to what she was saying. When she was finished, Isaka looked towards the stairs that led to Usagi's bedroom, his eyes serious. He nodded towards the stairs and then glanced at Aikawa.

"It's about time we go up there", he said, seriously.

Aikawa rubbed her arms, feeling cold once again.

"I…..I don't know Isaka-san…..are you sure?...I mean…..he's….he's not himself you know?...maybe….maybe we should wait.", she said, cautiously.

Isaka shook his head.

"We've waited long enough. By what you've told me, I have to agree with you when you say that we have a real problem on our hands. We need to get to the bottom of this.", he said.

Aikawa sighed and wrapped her arms around herself again.

"Yeah…", she said.

Isaka looked at her again, his eyes looking graver now.

"Have you called Misaki?", he asked.

Aikawa gritted her teeth in her own impatience.

"Of course I called him!", she snapped. She didn't mean to lash out but her worry was beginning to get the best of her. The situation was starting to get to her and it was getting more difficult not to break down in front of Isaka the way Usagi had in front of her.

"So he's really not coming back huh….", Isaka said, almost absent mindedly.

Aikawa calmed down a little, suddenly feeling tired herself.

"I don't think so", she said softly.

Isaka must have understood how she was feeling because instead of saying anything back to her, he put a comforting arm around Aikawa's shoulders.

"We'll think of something", he said, gently rubbing her arm. Aikawa was grateful that he was there. Isaka looked up towards the stairs again and nodded.

"Alright. Let's go", Isaka said and then began to walk up towards the stairs. Aikawa followed closely behind him.

When they reached the door, both of them stopped and listened for any sounds of movement. They heard none. Isaka waited for a few more moments before pushing open the door, leading the way inside. They both walked into the room and saw the large bundle in the covers that was Usagi. Walking closer to the bed, Isaka looked at him closely. Aikawa was right when she said that he looked worse than he did when he missed a deadline and had to work overtime. In fact it was an understatement. Aikawa moved to stand beside Isaka, both of them towering over the author's still figure. From what they could tell, the silver haired man's breathing was even and his eyes were closed. He looked like he was sleeping, but both of them knew that he wasn't.

Aikawa looked over towards Isaka, her eyes showing sorrow and concern. He brought his attention back to Usagi and spoke.

"Akihiko, get up. We know that you're not sleeping", Isaka said, in an authoritative voice.

Usagi slowly opened his dead eyes to look at the two people who now stood in his room. He didn't even flinch or showed the slightest ounce of interest at them being there. Not even his usual 'get out of my apartment or I'll call the police on you' attitude. Instead of saying anything, he let his glass like empty eyes wander towards the ceiling. Once again, Isaka and Aikawa exchanged glances.

"What the hell is going on with you, Akihiko?", Isaka asked, looking back down at Usagi.

The author said nothing.

"Look I know that you and chibi-tan are having a rough time now but that's not reason for you to act this way. Aikawa had to cancel all of your appointments because of your so called 'problem'", Isaka said, using his fingers for quotation marks at the end of the statement.

Usagi didn't say anything.

At his sides, Isaka's hands turned into loose fists. He kept clenching and unclenching them, as if trying to stay calm and patient.

"I don't know how many times I've told you this before. Don't let your personal life affect your work. It reflects on all of us! On me, Aikawa, and the rest of the company.", Isaka said.

There was still no response from Usagi.

"Aikawa called me because she was worried about you, so get your lazy ass up and tell us what the hell is going on with you!", Isaka yelled, losing his patience.

There was no reaction from Usagi.

Isaka finally had enough. He stepped closer and roughly grabbed Usagi by the shoulder, gripping his skin. His eyes remained as dead as they were when they first walked in. He was about to pull Usagi up so that he could punch him when Aikawa stepped in.

"Isaka-san, don't!...", she said, gripping his raised arm with her hands.

"Hitting him won't do anything!', she said.

Even if she said that, Isaka still felt as if he wanted to knock some sense into Usagi. But instead his slowly lowered arm and released his grip on Usagi.

Next to him, Aikawa breathed a sigh of relief.

Isaka pulled Aikawa away from the bed, to a corner of the room. He turned to her and spoke.

"We've tried being nice to him. What do you suggest we do?", Isaka said, seriously.

"I don't know….", Aikawa said.

"I can't believe we have to coddle a man thirty four year old man. What else happened before you left him?", Isaka asked.

Aikawa shook her head, feeling the intense frustration.

"I don't know…I don't know!...", she said.

"He was acting strange for a week. I should have known something was up when he actually _wanted_ to come into work", Aikawa said.

"It's like I told you, after we finished editing his manuscript, Masayoshi-san took us all out to eat. I don't know what happened after that. I-", Aikawa stopped herself when she saw the way that Isaka was looking at Usagi. Even though Aikawa may have missed it, Isaka saw the way Usagi glanced in their direction upon hearing the name of the newest CEO. Isaka decided that he would use it to find out more. He was much too perceptive to miss such a detail.

"So you, Akihiko, and Masayoshi all went out to dinner….", Isaka said.

"Isaka-san?", Aikawa asked, feeling the change in Isaka's attitude.

"What happened after dinner?", Isaka asked.

Just ahead of them on the bed, Isaka could see Usagi gripping the sheets, as if he were taking his anger out on them.

"Nothing…I mean….I left…..Usami-sensei and Masayoshi-san were still there when I left-", she cut herself short when Isaka began slowly walking around the room, examining it with keen eyes.

He stopped pacing when his eyes wandered to the trash can in the corner of the room. Hanging loosely inside and around it were Usagi's old sheets. Isaka could feel Usagi's eyes wandering towards him as he closed in on the waste basket near the door. He had the conclusion already in his head but even he didn't want to voice it or even believe it.

"Dirty sheets, Akihiko?", Isaka said, walking towards the trash bin.

Usagi was up then, sitting on the edge of the bed, his eyes turning dark and storm like.

"You don't have to throw your sheets every time you have sex you know", Isaka said.

Usagi's eyes shined in rage and his body tensed.

Next to him, Aikawa's face was a mask of confusion.

"Isaka-san what-?", she started but was cut off when Isaka addressed Usagi again.

"Here", Isaka said, picking up the bundle of sheets in one large hand.

"You should wash them", he said, tossing them at Usagi. They landed on his lap. Usagi picked the up and gripped them in his fists for a moment before violently throwing them to the floor. Isaka did not waver in any way. He kept his eyes steady on Usagi, letting him know that he knew what had happened.

"Of course….", Isaka began.

"You can wash them all you want but I really don't think that the stain will go away", he said, narrowing his eyes at Usagi.

By this point, Aikawa could tell that there was definitely something that she did not fully understand about the situation. She glanced at Isaka hoping to get an explanation, but he only continued to look in Usagi's direction, his eyes both accusing and knowing.

"Wh-what's really going on here?", Aikawa asked, feeling uncomfortable.

Isaka tilted his chin towards Usagi, his eyes still dark.

"Why don't you ask Akihiko?", he said.

"or…..", he began and picked up something glimmering that was next to the trash bin. When he held up the object for Aikawa so examine, she saw that it was an elegant and sophisticated gold and silver hand woven bracelet.

"You can ask Masayoshi-san", Isaka finished.

At that moment, Aikawa's eyes widened in horror as she finally understood just what Isaka was saying. She slowly shook her head, trying to deny what she was hearing, but somehow she knew that Isaka was telling the truth.

"No….you think that he….no….he wouldn't…", Aikawa said in her own horror. Her shocked eyes wandered to meet Usagi's and in them she could not see any defense or defiance in them, only guilt and remorse. Usagi looked as if he desperately wanted to say something to her, to make her understand, anything, but he couldn't. Instead, he turned his head away so that his eyes would not meet hers.

Aikawa put her hands to her mouth in both shock and horror.

"Oh my god…..", she uttered. It was the only thing that she could say.

"I'm guessing that this is the reason chibi-tan left", Isaka said, darkly.

Usagi couldn't say anything. He was silent.

Aikawa was on the verge of tears.

"Aren't you going to say something, Akihiko?", Isaka, asked.

Usagi didn't.

"Aren't you going to say that nothing happened between the two of you? That this is all just a misunderstanding of some sort? Because I sure as hell don't want to hear otherwise", Isaka said, walking closer towards Usagi.

"Did you even think about what would happen _after_ you slept with him? And I'm not talking about STD's. Because you'd deserve that. I know this is a bad time to bring this up but you are in a position where you can't afford any screw ups and you screwed the CEO! For the love of God he is our superior! What the hell do you think is going to happen now?", Isaka yelled.

Usagi was still not talking. His head was hung low and his eyes were averted away from the two people who stood in front of him. He already knew that he messed up. Having Isaka reiterating on it wasn't making him feel any better. Not to mention it Isaka was rubbing salt in the deep wounds that scarred his soul that were there because he betrayed Misaki. Usagi felt like crying himself.

Isaka looked at Usagi and scoffed.

"Yeah, that's right. You screwed up and chibi-tan left you.", Isaka said, coldly.

He walked away from Usagi and towards the door, turning his back on him.

"Isaka-san, where are you going", Aikawa asked, teary eyed.

"To clean up a mess", he said, without even looking at anyone.

Isaka was about to exit when he turned his head to glance at Usagi. His expression made him feel shocked. Hidden in Isaka's cold eyes was pain and disappointment. It was an expression that Usagi had never seen his childhood friend make before.

"There's no one else to blame but you, Akihiko. Don't think otherwise"

Those were the last words that he said before he exited the room, leaving Usagi alone with Aikawa.

She was standing face to face with Usagi now. Her face showed her conflicting feelings. She was here before Isaka; she knew just how much Usagi was hurting. But then there was Misaki too. If Usagi was hurting then she couldn't even begin to imagine how much Misaki was hurting. She knew it was serious, but now this serious.

Aikawa cared for both Usagi and Misaki like her own family and she wanted to be there for both of them when they needed her; she wanted both of them to be happy. However in this situation there was no denying who was at fault. Before she even thought about what she was doing, her mouth was moving.

"U-Usami-sensei….", she said, sadly.

"I….what….what happened. I don't understand.", she said, nearly weeping.

She knew that she was feeling too emotional but she couldn't help it. It felt as though she was sharing the pain that she knew Misaki was feeling. It was suffocating.

"When I came….you….you were so sad….crying….", she let herself trail off and took a deep breath before beginning again.

"You were so sad….when you were crying….I held you….I…..", she trailed off.

Aikawa felt a pang in her heart, feeling sad for the small brunette.

"Who….who held Misaki while he cried?….who was there for him when he needed someone?...", Aikawa said, a tear escaping and running down her cheek.

Aikawa's last statement was like a blow to the gut for Usagi. And then he was reminded of what he didn't do, what he couldn't do. How he had no way to comfort and console a crying Misaki when he ran out of the condo in tears. How could he when he was the one to cause his pain? He was in such deep thought; he barely noticed that Aikawa spoke again.

"Usami-san…..I-I….thought…..You changed…..I thought Misaki…changed you….", Aikawa trailed off, leaving Usagi to listen to the quiet for a moment.

"You…you loved Misaki….you did…..and he loved you too, so….I….can't even….how could you?...it was Misaki….", Aikawa said, sadly. Tears were running down her face now, a slow, steady stream down his cheeks and chin.

Usagi looked at Aikawa then, straight in her tear streaked eyes. He realized that she loved him just as much as he did. Hurting Misaki meant that he had hurt her as well. It made him feel worse than he was already feeling. It was like he was hurting Misaki all over again and he had no idea why he was feeling that way.

"Aikaw-", Usagi started but was cut off when Aikawa slapped him across the face harshly. He could feel the sting from her palm and nails in his skin.

"How could you?!", she yelled at him.

Usagi didn't say anything as she walked towards the door herself. Still crying softly, Aikawa turned to look at Usage one last time.

"He deserves better than this, Akihiko", she said. Aikawa didn't look back at him after that. Instead she closed the door behind her, leaving Usagi alone with the pain in his heart that he knew would never fade away.

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**A/N: I hope you all enjoyed it! Please rate and comment! ^0^**

**I might be updating this chapter in the next week, so be sure to look for any changes.**

**See you all in the next chapter! **


	66. Chapter 66: Hidden Desires

**A/N: He everyone! I'm back with chapter 66! And guess what? I fiiiiiinally decided to do a story from Ijuuin's point of view! Well, not a full chapter from his point of view but it's in here and it's really good! Please read and enjoy!**

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Misaki lay in bed reading a volume of The Kan, his face brightening whenever he turned even one page. As it turns out, Ijuuin actually kept one unused, new copy of each volume as it was published and being the nice guy he is, he said that Misaki could read then anytime he felt like it. Misaki had to hold in the excited squeal that he had felt bubbling up from the back of his throat, but somehow he knew Ijuuin had managed to hear it. Now Misaki had a library of his favorite series just in the living room at his disposal to read whenever he felt. Since Ijuuin had gone out a couple of hours ago to go to a meeting, he wouldn't have to look at Ijuuin's teasing face whenever he went to the living room to get a new volume. Misaki closed his eyes, letting the happiness and excitement at the fact soak in.

Slowly opening his eyes, Misaki could feel himself becoming a little more serious as the minutes went by. He lowered the book and placed it on his chest, staring up at the ceiling. His mind wandered back to what happened two days ago. How Ijuuin had unknowingly walked in on Misaki dressing and saw bruised and damaged thighs. Misaki himself didn't even notice he had them, and if he did he must have pushed it in the far corners of his mind so that he wouldn't have to think about it, to remember. He reached one hand downward laid and a delicate hand on one of his inner thighs, gently. Misaki was couldn't suppress the slight wince forming on his eyes from the soft touch of his own hand. It still hurt actually. He had no idea why he hadn't noticed it before. He must have ignored it, didn't want to notice it.

Misaki couldn't help but feel depressed at the fact that he had let Ijuuin of all people see him like he had. He didn't want anyone to see, to know. He didn't even want himself to. Ijuuin seeing it only brought him back to the reality of it all and made it that much more real. But what now? What did Ijuuin think about him after learning all that? Misaki remembered how Ijuuin had held and comforted him, like he had already so many times. He didn't let go either. He just held Misaki until he stopped crying. And after that he took Misaki to bed and put him to sleep. And Misaki was thankful for that. He was completely exhausted that night and Ijuuin stayed with him. When Misaki woke up that morning, Ijuuin was still holding his hand. He stayed with him all night. He was a truly amazing friend.

And now here he was in bed, lazing around what he called his "temporary new home". And he had to call it that because he didn't want to get to comfortable staying at Ijuuin's place. But Misaki knew that somewhere in the back of his mind he was thinking otherwise. About something he knew he shouldn't be. But he couldn't stop his mind from thinking it, no matter how hard he tried. He couldn't suppress thinking about what it would be like if he could, if he did decide to live, to stay with Ijuuin. Misaki sighed and scratched his head at his own frustration at himself. There was no way that was going to happen. Nope, it was impossible. No use even daydreaming about it. A small giggle escaped from Misaki as he thought about the funny sides of Ijuuin that he had seen so far, how he made him laugh and acted like a goofball abound him. And that fact that he was even thinking about that was irrelevant, out of the blue in fact. Misaki sighed again, this time happier. No. There was no way that he could live with Ijuuin. He hugged the manga volume to his chest, and smiled again. But….it wouldn't hurt to just think about it, would it?

* * *

Misaki wiggled his nose and squinted his eyes slightly from closed lids. Something was touching his ear. He rubbed a hand over his face, thinking it was a fly and turned his head. Still practically sleeping, Misaki rolled onto his side and let himself relax again. Again, he felt the light tickle of a soft object, this time on his ear. He flicked it away and turned on his other side. He felt a light tickle in his ear and then neck. Misaki couldn't help but let a smile creep along his face. He was ticklish on his neck and when he felt it again, he giggled and opened his eyes to see Ijuuin staring down at him, a slight smile on his face. Misaki playfully rolled his eyes at the mangaka.

"I should have known", Misaki said.

Ijuuin grinned back at Misaki.

"What? I was only trying to wake you up in the most pleasant way I could think of", Ijuuin said, innocently.

Misaki let out a laugh.

"Isn't it more annoying that pleasant? I thought you were a bug!", Misaki said, smiling.

"Well you were smiling weren't you? So you must have liked it", Ijuuin said.

"Ha! No way!", Misaki said.

"Oh really?", Ijuuin asked, raising an eye.

"I just have a sensitive body!", Misaki blurted.

He instantly wished he could take it back. He looked up and saw Ijuuin grinning with a smug look on his face.

"Oh Misaki, are you trying to make me think nasty things?", Ijuuin said, acting shyly innocent.

Misaki rolled his eyes again.

"As if", he said and swung his legs over the bed to stand up.

"What are you doing home anyway, Kyou? I thought you had meetings to go to", Misaki said, picking the manga volume that had dropped to the floor.

"Yeah. I just got back", Ijuuin said.

"Really? That was quick", Misaki said, placing the manga on the desk.

Ijuuin looked at him and let out a light laugh.

"Misaki, it's already past seven", Ijuuin said, smiling.

"What? No way!", Misaki protested.

Ijuuin took his phone out of his pocket and held it out to Misaki. The screen read quarter past the hour.

"So late already. I didn't even make dinner!", Misaki said.

"No need to. I took care of dinner", Ijuuin said, shutting his phone.

Misaki shrank back in the corner of the room, looking horrified.

"R-really?", he said, carefully.

"Very funny. I _bought_ dinner.", Ijuuin said

Misaki came out from his corner, smiling.

"Yay!", he said, raising his arm up, happily.

"Do you have to look so happy? Jeez.", Ijuuin said, laughing.

He led Misaki to the door.

"I just wanted to get you to come and eat. I got sushi and salmon, and other stuff too.", Ijuuin said.

"I love sushi!", Misaki said.

Ijuuin laughed.

"I know. That's why I got it", Ijuuin said, letting them out of the room and into the hallway.

"Oh", Misaki said, smiling.

When they go to the kitchen, Misaki saw that the food was already set out with plates to go with it.

"We can eat here?", Misaki asked, sitting on a stool and moving in closer to the counter.

"I do it all the time.", Ijuuin said, pulling up a stool beside Misaki.

He pulled a container out of the bag and handed it to Misaki.

"Here, this is the salmon and cucumber roll. I know you like it", Ijuuin said.

"Thanks, Kyou", Misaki said, taking the food and unwrapping it.

Misaki put a piece of the sushi in his mouth and smiled happily.

"This is great!", he said and smiled at Kyou.

Ijuuin smiled too and they continued eating.

After a couple minutes and eating and talking, Misaki found himself slowing down his bites, suddenly feeling self-conscious. He stopped in mid bite and turned his head slightly to get a quick glance at Ijuuin. The mangaka must have had the same intention because when Misaki looked to get a peek, he and Ijuuin's eyes met, both of them surprised by one another. Simultaneously, they looked away from one another. So much for the non-awkward mood. To break the weird silence, Misaki decided to speak.

"Uh…Kyou?...Is there maybe….anything you wanted to say to me", Misaki asked, playing with his shirt sleeves.

Ijuuin glanced in Misaki's direction and then smiled lightly.

"No, not really. I guess I'm just observing you to see if you're ok.", Ijuuin said.

Misaki laughed himself.

"What am I, some kind of animal?", Misaki said. He looked at Ijuuin and smiled.

"I'm fine. Thanks for worrying, Kyou", Misaki said.

"I know", Ijuuin said.

"I never really thanked you for….uh…letting me cry….I mean….think that's all I really needed. So…thank you.

Ijuuin didn't say anything.

Misaki rubbed a hand through his longish hair and sighed.

"I didn't mean to…you know freak you out them or anything. It-it's ok if you feel uncomfortable around me", Misaki said.

Ijuuin looked at him, surprised.

"I don't feel uncomfortable around you!", Ijuuin said, raising himself out of the seat.

Misaki looked at him surprised. His eyes widened in shock at the sudden outburst.

"N-no need to shout", Misaki said, still surprised.

"Ah…sorry", Ijuuin said, sitting down, his cheeks turning a different color. Could he be blushing?

For some reason, Misaki felt like teasing him. This could be one of the first times that he has seem Ijuuin Kyou blushing and embarrassed in a way that would make him fun to play around with. Misaki smiled and brought both his hands over to the sides of Ijuuin's face and squished his cheeks together.

"Kyou…I think you're blushing!", Misaki said, laughing again.

"No…no I'm not…", Kyou said, trying to turn his head away, but Misaki held on and played with Ijuuin's cheeks more. It was a hilarious sight to see the mangaka blushing with his face the way it was.

"You look like a fish", Misaki said, giggling.

"You're the one responsible for that…", Ijuuin said, grinning himself. He brought his hands towards Misaki and pulled his cheeks apart, the exact opposite of what Misaki was doing to him. Now it was Ijuuin's turn to laugh.

"You look like a Cheshire cat", Ijuuin said, smiling.

"Yeah right!", Misaki said, lowing one hand and poking Ijuuin in the stomach so that he let out a laugh.

"Pillsbury dough boy.", Misaki said, with another giggle.

"Misaki are you picking a tickling war with me?", Ijuuin asked, smirking.

"And what if I am?", Misaki said, smiling back.

"You're asking for it", Ijuuin said, raising his hands towards Misaki.

"Uh oh", Misaki said.

He tried to scoot his chair back but Ijuuin grabbed him and held him to his chest with one arm around his body while he playfully dug his fingers into Misaki's ribs, Misaki cried out in laughter, squirming and wiggling in vain. He was not going to get away from Ijuuin that easily. After a couple more minutes, the brunette couldn't take anymore.

"Alright I give! I give! Hahaha! Uncle! Uncle!", Misaki said, through his own laughter. Ijuuin tickled Misaki one more time before letting him go.

"Looks like I win this round, Misaki", Ijuuin said, laughing.

"Yeah but I won last time", Misaki said, feeling stubborn.

Ijuuin moved his hands towards Misaki's stomach, as if ready to tickle again.

"Wha…wait!...no!", Misaki said, giggling.

"I thought so", Ijuuin said, smiling,

Misaki stuck his tongue out at the mangaka and Ijuuin did the same to Misaki. And then they were laughing like the great friends they were.

The two finished eating and then cleared their plates and the kitchen, talking and fooling around until they were finished. Once there were done, they went to the living room and sat on the lush couch to watch TV. Misaki couldn't help but laugh to himself. This, here with Ijuuin really felt normal, like he always lived here.

An hour and a half later, when the show was over, Misaki glanced over at Ijuuin just as he let out a loud and tired yawn.

"Tired?", Misaki asked.

"Eh…I guess I am. Sitting in a chair for so long really wears on you butt", Ijuuin said.

Misaki couldn't help but giggle.

"I think I'm going to hit the sack. What about you Misaki?", Ijuuin said, stretching.

"I think I'm gonna go take a bath,", Misaki said.

Ijuuin raised an eyebrow.

"A bath eh?. Sounds fun. Mind if I join you?". Ijuuin asked.

Misaki felt his face flush red.

"Kyou!", Misaki whined.

"Kidding, kidding", Ijuuin said, picking up a few stray books.

"Then I'll see you tomorrow, Misaki", Ijuuin said, ruffling his hair with one hand. He walked out of the living room and was gone.

Misaki watched another half an hour of TV before turning it off and heading to the guest room to get a change of clothes and his toothbrush. He walked down the hall from his room and entered the large bathroom. Misaki had to admit to himself that even though Ijuuin's entire apartment was nice to be in, he like the bathroom out of everything the most. Misaki placed his clothes on the counter and walked over to the large tub. He had to take a nice look at it before he turned on the water. It looked like a tub fit for a king, which matched the rest of the bathroom. Misaki turned on the water and adjusted the heat until it was what he wanted. He pulled out some bubble bath from underneath the counter and borrowed Ijuuin's body wash from the shower.

Once the tub was full, Misaki removed his clothes and let them fall to the floor at his feet. He dipped his foot into the water. The feeling of warm heat on his skin made him relax almost instantly. He put his whole leg in and then submerged his own body. Misaki could not help but let out a satisfied and content sigh once he was full in the bath. This was what heaven must have felt like.

Misaki reached over and grabbed the Ijuuin's container of body wash and squeezed some in the palm of his hand. He rubbed it over his arms, chest, and neck, taking in the nice scent that he had come to like so much. He leaned his back against the tub and closed his eyes. He sank deeper into the tub and let himself relax even more.

He let his mind wander. Now that things with Akihiko were settled, what would he do from here on? Since he had all of his things from the Akihiko's condo, he was free to move in anywhere he wanted. He'd have to start looking another apartment. He did have a good amount of money saved up that could cover basic rent for a little over seven months, And that was a good thing. By then, Misaki would be and finished with his computer course and working full time at Murakawa. At the mention of the company, Misaki was overcome by a sense of horrific realization and dread. Working at Murakawa meant that there could be a chance that he would run in Akihiko. Misaki sunk himself deeper into the sweet smelling bath, bringing the bubbles just below his nose.

Now what was he going to do about this? He could quit and find another company to work at. After all Murakawa isn't the only manga publishing company in Japan. He _could_ find somewhere else to work. Misaki blew into the water, creating more bubbles. He was irritated at himself. Of course there was no way that he would find another company to work at. How could he? It had always been his dream to become a manga editor and maybe someday work alongside Ijuuin Kyou, his idol. No it didn't even matter to him whether he could work with him or not. Just knowing that they work in the same place was enough for him back then, and it still is now. The company he wanted to work at was Murakawa. He wasn't going to let anyone take that away from him, not even Usami Akihiko. No. He was going to work at Murakawa and nowhere else. He was not going to run away this time, not when he worked so hard for it.

He'd just have to deal with Akihiko working in the same place as him. There's just no getting around it. He sighed to himself. This must be how his friends in high school felt when they broke up with someone and had to go through the pain of seeing them every day in school. Being a working adult sure is hard, at least it was for him. The stress of it all was enough to make a guy worn out. Misaki let out a loud yawn. He was actually pretty tired right now. More than an hour had gone by since he was in the bathroom, but his hands didn't even feel pruny. The relaxing feeling from the bath made him see how much he could use some sleep right now. He yawned again and slowly eased himself out of the water. He shivered, feeling the bathroom air surround him. He dried himself and then walked over to the counter and grabbed his clothes. Just as he was about to pull his shirt over his head, there was knock at the bathroom door. Misaki looked up from his clothes and scrambled over to the door.

"Ah Kyou?", Misaki said.

"Oh Misaki, so you are in there. You've been in there for over two hours so I got a little worried about you", Ijuuin answered through the door.

"Wha? How is that?", Misaki stammered.

"Having too much fun in the bathroom?", Ijuuin asked playfully.

Misaki felt his face flush red from embarrassment. He got dressed in his clothes in record time and pushed his dirty clothes under his arm.

"Ah I-I'm getting out now!", Misaki said, swinging open the bathroom door and pushing past Kyou, hiding his beet red face. He ran into the guest room and closed the door. He could hear Ijuuin laughing outside his door as he walked back down the stairs.

* * *

Ijuuin finished sketching his final draft page for the night and then placed all of the pages in a plastic folder. In total he had created over forty pages in that single night, barely having any trouble drawing any. He even had some ideas for new characters. He couldn't remember the last time when he had been so inspired and driven to draw and create in his manga like he had in the past week. Something good must have happened in his life recently. The image of Misaki's large green eyes and red embarrassed face slashed in his mind. He let out a light laugh. Yes, he must have some new kind of inspiration in his life. He picked up a stray piece of paper that was on his desk and examined it and smiled. While creating a page, he had unknowingly drawn an animated version of Misaki. Had he really unconsciously been thinking of the brunette that much? He smile at the drawing again, thinking that it really did have a certain likeliness to him. The large eyes, the defensive and childish disposition, everything. It was just so….Misaki. Ijuuin placed the folder in his shoulder bag and put in the chair on the far corner of his bedroom. Reaching over and picking up his clock off of the night stand, he saw that it read quarter to eleven. It was still early. He was still surprised at how many pages he had been able to complete in such a short amount of time. He yawned. It was still late enough, however. Ijuuin took off his clothes and replaced them with his regular long sleeved night shirt and sleeping pants.

He threw his day clothes on the small couch in the room and then made his way out of the room and down the hall towards the bathroom. On his way there, he passed a door that was slightly ajar and took three steps backward to the same door. He peered inside and saw that it was dark and quiet. He slowly eased the door open further and took a tentative step inside. He adjusted his eyes to the darkness and looked over towards the clump in the bed that was Misaki. Ijuuin could hear the light and soft snores escaping from him as he slept peacefully and a thought then crossed his mind. He knew that doing something like this was a violation of the trust that Misaki had put in him, he knew that he should give the brunette his privacy and just let him sleep but his body moved on its own. He slowly walked towards the bed, feeling his heart thumping in his chest, but he still kept walking until he was standing directly above Misaki.

He peered down at the small sleeping figure. In the dark he could see Misaki's slim frame underneath the thin sheets that were covering him. From where he was standing, Ijuuin could see that Misaki was still wearing the shirt that he had borrowed from him over a week ago. And the shirt really was too big for him, but in a way that Ijuuin couldn't help but find adorable. The shirt hung loosely on Misaki's slim body, hanging off his shoulder and exposing his white, delicate skin. Ijuuin reached his hand out, suddenly wanting to caress it and feel its smoothness. He stopped him himself just short of him though. He pulled his hand slowly back and let it fall to his side in defeat. Misaki's eye lashes fluttered and he let out a small mumble, as if he were talking in his sleep. He looked as if he were having a bad dream. Ijuuin was captivated.

_He's so cute_, Ijuuin thought, a gentle smile spreading across his face.

…_..why is that?_, he though again to himself.

And he really had to ask himself such a question. He didn't think he'd ever seen another person as cute as Misaki. Was it normal for most young men to be this cute? No. That wasn't it. Misaki...he was special somehow. He was special in every way. The mangaka was overcome by a feeling that he had never felt before. He suddenly felt warm all over and...happy. He was happy just to be watching over Misaki as he slept. He could do it all night. He could watch him forever, just listening to him breath was enough for him. Ijuuin put a hand to his chest, feeling his heart beating hard in his chest. Just looking at Misaki made his heart race.

Ijuuin glanced down at Misaki again and smiled, wondering if this beautiful boy knew how much he was torturing him. He took a moment to take in everything that he could of the younger man in that moment. He admired the brunette's young, angelic features of his face. His sleeping face...he never realized how innocently childlike it really was. Small, soft vulnerable. Misaki's eyes moved again beneath his closed long eye lashes and Ijuuin couldn't help but smile and wonder if they were chasing dreams. Misaki let out a soft mumble and Ijuuin could not stop himself from looking at the brunette's pink lips. Perfectly shaped and so kissable it felt like it were driving him crazy. Misaki let out another small noise but Ijuuin still did not move. No matter how much he looked, he never got tired of him. He didn't see anything that he didn't like. He loved everything about him. And it hurt. It was painful to look at Misaki, but it was a good kind of pain, sweet. His heart ached as if a heavy weight were pressing on it. But he liked it.

Suddenly he forgot why he would even decide to come in the room. But he knew that he had wanted to see Misaki, to hear his voice, even when he was so near to him. But now that he was here he didn't want any of that. He just wanted to stand there in the dark, gazing at what was a beautiful boy sleeping a bed. Even though he had come to see Misaki, even wanting to talk to him, he didn't want to wake him up, to touch him. He didn't want to do anything that could disturb his angel's sleep. But he couldn't stop himself from gently sitting on the edge of the bed and moving in closer to the brunette. Slowly, he brought his hand down and stroked Misaki's hair, brushing it away from his face. A few strands of his hair caught in his lip, brushing again them and inside his mouth. Ijuuin felt his heart thump loudly in his chest. He gently brushed his thumb across Misaki's bottom lip, feeling its lush softness. Just as he had imagined it would feel.

He couldn't take it anymore. Ijuuin slowly lowered his face downward to meet Misaki's. He felt his breath quicken in anticipation but he forced it to slow, not wanting to wake up the brunette. It would be a bad thing for Misaki to wake up to this situation. He knew that. If he did wake up then Misaki may never trust him the way he did now. But he couldn't stop, he wouldn't stop. He was running on pure instinct now. And every inch of his body screamed that he wanted to kiss Misaki, to become one with his delicate body, to make him his own and no one else's. He didn't want Misaki to wake up, but at the same time he did. He wanted him to acknowledge his presence, to be aware of him, to know that he was here with him, that he always would be. It was him who was here with Misaki now, not Usami.

_Wake up_, Ijuuin thought. He placed a hand on Misaki's soft cheek.

_Don't wake up_, Ijuuin thought. He lowered his face again.

_Please don't wake up_, Ijuuin thought, bringing his lips to Misaki's.

He stopped himself then, barely. He was less than a centimeter from kissing such lovely lips. Ijuuin could feel the warm, sweet breath from Misaki tingling his skin, teasing him even more. He let his lips brush Misaki's once. Not quite a kiss but just enough to leave him wanting more. He slowly and reluctantly pulled away and stood up. That was too close for him. He was on the brink of doing something that he knew would cause a chain reaction. And if he did, then he'd never be able to stop. He leaned against the wall for a minute, trying to get his heart to slow in vain. He took one last look at the sleeping brunette before he walked out, closing the door behind him.

Once he was out, Ijuuin let out a shaky breath. He still hadn't calmed down. So many feelings were bubbling in him. Love, desire, frustration, longing, all of them caused because of Misaki. He let out a heavy sigh. How could he possibly ask Misaki to stay with him when he was feeling this way? Was it really no good? And he wanted Misaki to stay with him. Always. He'd have to find a way to cool down. That's what he told himself, but he knew that such a thing was impossible. Not the way he was now.

He walked towards the bathroom, even though he really didn't feel like using it anymore. When he was done, using it, as well he could manage that is, he washed his hands in the sink and dried them on a towel on the rack. He turned to leave when he stopped himself, something in the corner of by the shower catching his eye. I appeared to be a small lump of cloth that had been left behind a while ago. Usually Ijuuin did not care what his bathroom looked like to people, if it was clean or not, but since Misaki had come to stay with him he tried to be a little more organized. For Misaki's and his own sake. He didn't want the brunette to think of him as a pig. He walked over to the shower and picked up the piece of fabric, which wasn't actually a cloth at all. Ijuuin unfolded the item and saw that it was a gray pair of underwear. By looking at it, Ijuuin could tell that it was much too small to belong to him, so it must have been Misaki's. He must have left it after he ran out of the bathroom in embarrassment. Ijuuin chuckled at the recent memory. He held the brief in his hand and then left the bathroom, walking down the hall to the stairs, planning on going to the laundry room to put it with the dirty laundry. He was about to reach the stairs when he suddenly stopped himself. Ijuuin looked at the underwear in his hand again and gripped it gently beneath his fingers,

When Ijuuin looked at it, he felt his heart race again. His breath became low and shallow and he could feel the blood rushing to his head. He felt like he was going insane. Was there something wrong with him? There must have been. How could he get excited just by seeing and touching Misaki's underwear? But he knew the answer to that in the back of his mind, It was simple really. Misaki was the one who made him feel this way. He wanted to touch Misaki. He blinked his eyes at the undergarment in his hand, thinking of doing something that he never had thought of before. Ijuuin felt his face flush and his cheeks heat up at the thought that was in his mind. He turned himself to the wall and slowly let himself kneel down, his knees in front of him. He picked the gray brief up and held it to his face, inhaling the scent that was Misaki. The smell of Misaki was enough to drive him to the edge of his sanity. It smelled so sweet and delicious, like fresh cotton and strawberries that were ripe for the picking. So soft, so sweet. Something so close to his senses but was just out of touch for him. It made him wild.

He pressed the brief closer into his face, taking in the scent. And before he knew what he was doing, he was nibbling on it, probing it with his tongue gently, imaging what it would feel like to be able to touch Misaki, to caress and explore every inch of the brunette's body with his lips and tongue. Did he taste sweet like this? Was his skin soft and touchable like he had thought it to be? What would it feel like to kiss him, to let his mouth lick and kiss all over his body from his head to every private crevice of his lithe body?

Ijuuin felt his entire body tingle with pleasant heat. He felt hot, so very hot, but he liked it. He wanted more, he needed more. He heart beat quickly in his chest, faster than it had been already. He inhaled the sweet scent again, letting it engulf him, wanting it to. He wanted to drown in it. He stopped for a moment, feeling a change in his body. Ijuuin snapped his eyes open in surprise, already aware of what it was. He let out a shaky breath and peered downward to his crotch to see the large erection that was now protruding through his night pants. He felt his breath quicken at the sight of it. He placed a shaky hand on the bulge and flinched slightly from the shock of it. It was so sensitive and aroused, he was shocked. In his hand, he could feel the wetness of pre cum that has soaked through. Feeling week with desire, Ijuuin quickly walked to his own bedroom and closed the door behind him, making sure he locked it just in case. He ran to his bed, stuffed the underwear in his bottom drawer and frantically began opening the others. After a minute he had found what he was looking for, He stripped of his shirt, pulling it over his head and throwing it to the ground and placed a box of tissues beside him. Lifting his hips, he pulled his pants and boxers down to his ankles and stared at the enlarged heat between his legs that was his own.

He inhaled slowly and wrapped his hand around the organ gently, as if he were afraid to touch it. It felt hot and stiff in his hand, pulsing with desire that needed to be let out. He slowly began to pull the skin in an up and down circular motion. He gasped in surprise at the feeling of his own touch. He felt his heat grow even harder in his hand. He took in a quick breath, trying as hard as he could to stay calm. But he couldn't. It had been a long time since he had felt this aroused. He began pumping faster, letting the friction from the touch heat up his body more. A low moan escaped his lips. He felt his body temperature increase. Ijuuin slid his pants and boxers past his feet and positioned himself on the bed. He put his back to the headboard and leaned his head back. Ijuuin closed his eyes and let his mind become filled with the thoughts of the one person who made him like this. Though his shallow and hot breath, he let one single word escape from his lips.

"Misaki…..", Ijuuin whispered to the air. He stroked his length faster in his hand.

"Misaki…", he said again, thrusting his hips forward.

Another low moan escaped from his lips. Ijuuin put the back of his hand to his mouth to hold it in, embarrassed at himself, but still wanting, needing more. He continued with the movements of his hands, gripping his sheets and writhing in ecstasy. Not even once did he let his mind leave his thoughts of Misaki, how it would feel to have the brunette's lips on his body, the feel of his skin, running his fingers through his hair, touching him all over. His desires and fantasies carried him to someplace else completely and Ijuuin did not want to come back to reality. He felt like a completely different person.

He let out a cry as he held his head back, feeling a powerful orgasm rack his body. Ijuuin felt his entire body shudder with lust as his climaxed in his hand, his thick and creamy ejaculation running down his hand. Feeling weak, he leaned against the headboard for a minute, listening to the sound of his own shallow breaths. He felt hot all over and sweat sleeked his skin a shiny tone. He ran a hand through his hand and exhaled deeply. He had been holding that in for a long, long time. And he was still holding it in. Ijuuin reached over on the bed and opened the box of tissues, wiping his semen from his legs, stomach, and hand. Once he was done, he reached over the side of the bed and pulled his pants back on. He lie face down in the bed, trying to get his breathing to slow, trying to get himself to calm down and go to sleep. He pushed his face deeper into his pillow. How was he going to face Misaki after this? He didn't think that he could act normal around Misaki, not after this. He'd held his feelings in for much too long, and now that they had truly surfaced, it would be too difficult for him to push them back down again.

Everytime he did tell Misaki that he had feelings for him, he always played it off as a joke, acting like it was just for fun and the second time he told him, Misaki had clearly rejected him because of his love for Usami. But Usami wasn't here now. He had a chance now. And he wanted Misaki, more than anything, to the point that it felt like a physical ache. And it wasn't just physically, but he wanted Misaki emotionally as well. He wanted Misaki to love him. He wanted all of him. And he'd have him, he had to. Usami Akihiko had truly been a fool when he let a person like Misaki get away from him, but Ijuuin was not sad about that. The odds were now in his favor. He'd make Misaki his.

* * *

**A/N: Please rate and comment! ^0^**


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